Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Time for Healing ❯ Always on My Mind ( Chapter 15 )

Disclaimer: We do not own FAKE or its characters. They belong to Sanami Matoh, lucky girl! Any original characters belong to either Irish or Wildefyre.
Warnings: Yaoi/ Lemon Scene Warning in effect from here on! This may have the guys out of Character somewhat, so Gomen for that and we are taking some creative freedom on histories & backgrounds and lives as they are now... Deal with it! ^_~

Ryo looked up from his spot on the couch. Now dressed in jeans and a large white dress shirt. "Hi guys. Have fun?" He asked, his voice betraying his cheerful facade. "Keiry fell asleep so I laid her down for awhile. I hope that that's okay." He sighed.

"Ryo I heard about the shooting. Is everything okay?" Bikky asked his face showing his concern.

"It's fine. Don't you worry. I'm on temporary suspension with pay until they finish the investigation but with any luck that won't take too long." Ryo looked from Bikky to Lyn. "He didn't drive you too crazy did he?"

Lyn shook his head. "Not at all. We had a blast." Lyn tried not to sigh. He missed his An all of a sudden very badly. "And it's no problem at all that you put her down. She hasn't been sleeping too well I think. Too worried about missing something exciting. Did you eat that sandwich that I brought you or am I going to find it in the fridge?" Lyn asked stepping out of his skates and putting him at a slightly more plausible height.

"Yeah... Sure." Ryo looked at Bikky. "You need to get started on your homework."

"I know. You should have seen Lyn! He's so cool! He blades like a pro, plays pinball and guitar! I can't wait until school tomorrow to tell all my friends about him!" Bikky's voice sang with excitement as he spoke about his adventures with Lyn.

"T-That's great... Hey go get onto that homework and I'll look in on you in a little." Ryo got up. "I'm going to make some tea." He swallowed hard and walked into the kitchen.

Lyn trailed after bracing himself for a torrent of emotion that Ryo was likely about to unleash. "Ah... You okay Ryo?"

"Huh? Yeah sure. I'm fine." He gave a weak smile. "Drew called and said that he was looking forward to seeing you later. He really misses you." Putting on the kettle he started the water. "If you want to cut out go ahead. It's fine with me." He grabbed a cup from the cupboard.

"No. I think I might stick around a little longer. Come one Ryo talk to me. Something is obviously eating you."

"Lyn I've dumped enough on you lately. I can't keep doing that." He sighed and leaned against the counter. "IA came in a half-hour after you left. They called me out into the squad room and right in front of everyone, asked me for my badge. I felt so..." He paused for a moment. "Anyway until they finish I'm no longer a cop. Guess I'm not needed." Ryo turned and went to the fridge for some lemon, grabbing the honey along the way. "Care for some tea?"

"No thanks I'm fine. Listen you've been under a ton of stress. It really sucks that they gave you a dressing down in front of everyone. That was very uncool. And of course you're needed. Bikky needs you and whether or not Dee admits it, he needs you. You're more or less my only friend not related to work, so I even kind of need you."

"Can you believe that I felt jealous over the fact that Bikky is going to brag to his friends about you? He doesn't even do that with me. I-I think I embarrass him." Ryo cocked his head slightly. "I don't mind if Bikky brags about you so please don't take that the wrong way. It was just not the thing I needed to hear at the moment, you know?"

"Yeah, I do know. It's okay man. I'm like the cool older brother but you're Dad. Nothing can change that. Bikky and I were talking and I think that he would really like to have you teach him some martial arts stuff. It would definitely bring you up a few notches on the cool scale. I don't think that you embarrass him at all. No one brags about their dads ya know?"

"Yeah I guess that you're right." Ryo gave a small smile. "I hope that you didn't take that personally. It's nice having you around to talk to. I don't have any family to speak of except for my Aunt. I used to discuss different things with Dee but now I don't have that. Especially with this thing concerning work. How did Bikky find out anyway?" Ryo stopped and looked at him.

"Bikky and Dee heard it on the news this afternoon. They were both really concerned. Apparently Dee called the station to make sure that it wasn't you." Lyn pulled an energy bar out of his pocket and started gnawing on it despite having had dinner only a couple hours prior.

"He did? No one told me. I guess that he told them not to say anything." Ryo took a few deep breaths. "I tried calling Dee tonight because I just needed someone to talk to and he hung up on me." Ryo turned away as he tried to hold back the hurt. "I think that it may be over between us." Reaching for the kettle just as it whistled and not watching what he was doing, Ryo's hand got caught in the heated steam. "SHIMATTA! Bakayaro!" He cursed loudly.

Lyn caught Ryo's burned limb and guided it under the faucet turning on the cool water, frowning. "Be careful Ryo." He admonished softly.

"G-Gomen... I wasn't paying attention." Ryo hid his face into his good arm, taking deep breaths. "I could have killed Ted today. My God what was I thinking? I wasn't careful then either. I wasn't thinking clearly! And now I face a chance that I may be stripped of my badge... Dammit!" Lyn sighed and gave up on words, simply hugging Ryo tenderly. Things were falling apart fast and Lyn was starting to loose faith in his own ability to fix things. He had to talk to Dee tonight, he had to see Andrew and Annie tonight and he had to get Ryo to relax.

"Thanks Lyn." Ryo pulled back. "I'm fine now. You go see your family. They're more important. I'm going to just go read a book or something. It's probably safer." Ryo gave up on the tea for now. "Oh and when you go could you take this with you. I stopped and picked up Dee's mail for him on my way home. Tell him that I knew that his cable bill was due soon so I paid it for him. He has a tendency to forget things like that." Ryo was tired but he had to stand on his own. If he was going to get through all of this, he had to.

Lyn gave Ryo's shoulder a squeeze. "All right I will. I'll send Andrew over after a bit to give you a hand." He took the offered letter and slipped it into his pocket then went back to the bedroom to retrieve Keiry. Picking her up carefully and trying not to wake her. "Ryo maybe just turn on some quiet music and relax, all right? You need a break."

"I have some things to finish up on first. Drive carefully." Ryo headed back towards the bedroom. Checking on Bikky he found him working.

"Need any help?" Ryo asked as he stood at the doorway.

"Not right now. Hey did Lyn leave yet?"

"Yup why?"

"When Andrew gets here could you ask him to come back here? I need some help on this math." Bikky sighed.

"I could help you." Ryo offered. Looking for something to keep his mind occupied.

"Thanks but I'll wait for Andrew. You go take it easy." Bikky replied and went back to his work. Ryo sighed and walked into the bedroom. Sitting down, he scooted back with his knees drawn to his chest as he stared morosely out the window and down at the city below.

Dee heard the front door open, heard Duke leaping and barking in excitement, heard the sound of men's dress shoes moving over the hardwood floor at a quick clip and then heard Andrew grunt softly as he was most likely embraced tightly. "Gods I've missed you so much." Lyn's voice was muffled against Andrew's shoulder as Keiry squealed in delight at having her Daddy An again.

"I've missed you too baby." Dee heard Drew reply. He tried very hard to focus on the basketball game on the radio and not the intimate sounds of kissing and touching as parted lover's rejoined. They were the same sounds he wanted desperately to be making with Ryo.

"Where's my Annie?" Lyn asked after a long interlude of kissing.

"All ready asleep for the night. Yes, yes Hi Keiry." Andrew laughed softly taking his eldest daughter into his arms. "I'll go put her down and then head over to Ryo's." Drew remarked.

Lyn couldn't help but sigh at the thought of parting ways again after only ten minutes together. Andrew leaned in and whispered softly into his husband's ear in French. Lyn smiled softly over the words he heard.

'Knicks.' Dee reminded himself. 'You're listening to the Knicks! You don't need to listen to them.' A few more tender moments then Andrew limping stride ascended the stairs and Lyn's dress shoes clicked over towards Dee before he dropped down on the couch next to him with a sigh.

"Who's winning?"

"Well it isn't the Knicks... Damn jerks." Dee sighed. "Still... I'll take them over the Bulls any day. That's the brat's team." Dee grinned a little. "I promise to stay sitting here and not touch anything if you and Drew want to spend a little time studying the pattern on your bed sheets." He smirked and thought about how he would love to be able to do that with Ryo. 'No idiot! That's not going to happen... Not now and maybe not ever!'

Lyn smirked and it was audible in his voice. "Some people take more then ten minutes to make love."

"Okay so I'll take a nap and go potty beforehand... And if you're implying that I'm quick on the gun then forget that. Learning control is what it's all about." Dee shot back.

"Yes I'm sure that you are an absolute stud in bed. Too bad Ryo hasn't had the pleasure... No pun intended of course." Lyn forked a hand through his hair, it was lame bait but he was tired.

"Yeah well he had two years to find out!" Dee hissed. "I can't be blamed for finally saying the hell with it. Would you have pursued someone for that long? Constantly putting up with being rejected and still hoping for the best?" Dee really didn't want to deal with this. "I think that I showed more patience then most people would have! So do NOT chastise me!"

"No judgment made. It was just an observation and mostly just teasing." There was the sound of Lyn shifting and picking something up... Dee didn't recognize what until he heard Lyn run his fingers over a C chord on a guitar. A few more random chords and Lyn kicked it into gear accompanying himself to a 'Under the Bridge' By the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lyn relaxed immediately as he picked at his guitar. Truly his first love though his fingers had since learned to play Andrew just as well.

"Hey you're really good. God I think of all the years I spent learning piano. I never told Ryo that I played. You know how it is? You say that you play piano and people give you a look that screams fag city or geek underworld." He sighed. "It's funny I never asked Ryo if he played any instruments."

"He plays the piano and the flute." Lyn underscored their conversation with absent-minded chords. "So... you're not taking Ryo's calls?" Lyn wasn't about to beat around the bush. It had been a long day and Dee wasn't the type who liked to tap dance around the issue anyway.

"Figured that out on your own huh? Well you can have my badge... That's if I still had it." Dee slumped back in his seat feeling sarcastic and bitter. "He's better off without me. I know that you'll now give me 101 reasons why that's not so but in my mind that's what I feel." Dee nervously played with his fingers resting in his lap.

"What about your heart?" Lyn tapped Dee's chest for emphasis.

Out of habit, Dee shut his eyes tightly. "It doesn't matter anymore what it feels. Logic is all that comes into play now." Dee responded. He hated that this man who knew him for such a short time could so easily find his core.

"Bull shit! Don't yank me around Dee! It's been a long day! You're a detective, you should know to go with your gut feelings. They are falling apart without you man." Lyn's fingers broke into song again, humming faintly to what Dee recognized as a Counting Crows number.

"Then go about your business and leave me the hell alone! Tell Drew I'll get in touch with Penguin in the morning and be out of your fucking hair by the afternoon." Dee snapped in defense. The walls Drew had slowly started breaking down were now firmly back in place. "What's going on with Ryo and this shooting? I hope that they got it cleared up." He asked, wanting to change the subject.

Lyn took a deep breath and reminded himself to use tact and wit and that badgering rarely got an answer out of a witness. "I'm sorry Dee. I didn't mean it like that... Apparently Ryo misjudged a shot and hit someone. What did Ryo say his name was...? Ted? Anyway he clipped him in the shoulder... nothing too serious but he's under suspension with pay until IA finishes their investigation of the incident. Oh and he paid your cable bill."

"He's not careless when it comes to firing his weapon. There's something stupid about that. Dee commented. "Tell him thanks about the bill and that I'll pay him back." Dee sighed. "How's he holding out?"

"It's hard to tell. He acts like he's got it under control but you can tell that it's really eating away at him. I'm sure that he's upset. He burnt himself trying to make tea because he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and he's not eating right."

"Damn! Okay maybe I can get Penguin to talk to him. He'll listen to her." Dee ran his hands through his hair. "Just watch his eyes okay? He may be able to fool you with his smile words or body language but not with his eyes. They show more of his heart then you can imagine." Sighing heavily he wasn't sure how much more he could take himself.

Lyn spoke quietly. "He really wants to talk to you Dee. It would really make his day."

"Don't you realize what that will do to him... to me? Dammit I'm trying to set him free so that he can be happy for once and you keep trying to put the pieces back together. I can't be his equal anymore! I can't protect him or Bikky! I can't provide properly for them. I have my pride too you know." Dee slapped his hands over his face. "Try and see it from my Point of view for once."

"He won't be happy without you Dee. That's what you just don't get. He will never be happy without you. I do see it from your point of view but your point of view is a little jaded. That's the problem too, this pride of yours Dee. He misses you and he loves you. Bikky or I can't even say your name or with it getting him all choked up."

"I'm scared okay? I all ready explained it to Drew! Things that happened when I was beaten, things that that bitch did! Please don't make me go through it again. Ask Drew and he'll tell you what I said. He'll tell you. I-I can't okay? I just can't say it again." That was it, the memories were back and tears slipped from empty emerald green eyes.

Right... Communication, key to good parenting and a few other things as well. "Shit I'm sorry Dee." Lyn rested a hand on Dee's shoulder. "I should have talked to Drew..." Lyn shook his head at his own stupidity. Dammit he should have known better then that.

"I-I can't deal with Ryo until I can deal with this shit! That woman... She... What she did to me... Oh God." Dee lowered his head, wanting to hide from his shame. "I do love him dammit and this is killing me. I just can't face him! Not right now."

"Okay Dee. Okay." Lyn rubbed his back comfortingly as he had done so many times with Ryo here-of-late. "Give it time Dee. Just heal some more. Can I tell Ryo that? That you're not saying goodbye rather that you're saying wait?"

"Sure you can do that. Maybe you could give him this for me." Dee reached over and grabbed a CD. "Tell him that I want him to listen to the song 'My Baby You' for it's how I feel about him." Dee handed the disk to Lyn with shaky hands.

Lyn took it from his hands and set it in his guitar case. "I will." He turned back and watched Dee a moment, feeling pretty lame for making assumptions. He gave Dee's shoulders a squeeze. "Hang in there Dee. I'll help hold down the fort while you sort things out." He lay his guitar in its case and shut it, standing quickly. "When An comes down tell him that I love him. If I don't go now I won't be able too."

"Hey go spend time with your koibito, as Ryo would say. Plus if I know him, he'll be hurting more if he thought that he was causing a strain in your relationship. If Bikky is home Ryo will be fine. Don't let a wedge form Lyn. They're kind of hard to close." Dee sniffled. "Please?"

Lyn sighed. It was going to be that much harder to leave later... "Yeah all right." Lyn set his guitar case out of the way so that Dee wouldn't trip over it then gave Dee's shoulder another squeeze. "Hang in there bro. It gets better. Get off those pain meds and we'll get drunk and Jam, all right?"

"You got it. Oh and don't look at it as leaving him. Just see it as spending time away to make the time together that much the more special. You don't know what you've got until you don't have it any more..." Dee sighed while wiping at the freshly fallen tears.

"Yeah right. It's not working for you so I doubt that it will fly for me." Lyn gave Dee's shoulder one more squeeze before sighing and heading up the stairs.

Andrew stood in the girls' room with Annie in his arms as he swayed slowly, trying to soothe the fussing girl, singing softly. "Hush little baby don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird/ and if that mocking bird don't sing Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring..." Lyn paused in the doorway, his heart swelling at the sight. The only light was a nightlight in the corner and it cast the whole room into shadow.

Andrew wore only a pair of faded flannel pants that just barely clung to his hips by a drawstring. Annie rested against his bare chest, half asleep. One hand curled possessively in Andrews long hair that he had let down for exactly that purpose. "And if that diamond ring..." He trailed off into humming, not knowing the rest of the words. Lyn would have stood quietly in the doorway, content to watch his husband and youngest daughter but Andrew sensed his presence and smiled over his shoulder in silent invitation. The Irishman crossed the room to stand behind his Andrew, arms coming around his waist, fingers spread possessively over his naked flesh.

"She's almost asleep." Andrew whispered, leaning back into his husband's arms. "Though I think that maybe you should take over the singing."

"Hmmm..." Lyn thought a moment. "Black bird singing in the dead of night take these broken wings and learn to fly/ All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Blackbird singing in the dead of night take these sunken eyes and learn to see/ All your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free. Black bird fly, black bird fly, into the light of a dark black night..." Lyn sung softly as his lips whispered over Andrews ear and neck, swaying softly with Andrew's movements. He trailed off upon seeing that Annie had fallen asleep.

"She's asleep." Lyn whispered, his fingers stroking Andrew's naked torso.

"I see that." With a soft sigh Andrew forced himself to step out of the comfort of Lyn's arms to lay Annie in her crib, stroking her perfect cheek before turning to face his lover. They watched each other a long moment, neither moving, a few heart beats, a breath and then they each took a couple of steps to bring them into each other's arms. "It has been a long few days for you hasn't it baby?"

Lyn merely nodded against his shoulder. "Yeah... It's like a rockslide. It just keeps building and building. Ryo's really starting to crack."

"Lyn?"

"Yeah baby?"

Andrew cupped Lyn's chin drawing their mouths together. The kiss was soft and tender at first and then slowly deepened. Their tongues melding heatedly as they pressed closer to familiar skin. They parted slowly with lingering pecks and nibbles unwilling to relinquish each other's lips.

"We're still in the girl's room." Lyn whispered softly against Andrew's mouth.

"Yes the scent of baby powder strongly suggests that." Andrew hands found Lyn's chest, unbuttoning his dress shirt to expose his collarbone and chest to his lips. "What's the most romantic way to get you into bed?" Andrew pondered licking over Lyn's well-molded collarbone. "Hmm...?" With a grin Andrew rather suddenly lifted Lyn into his arms.

"Andrew! Put me down! You'll hurt yourself!" Lyn gasped, startled and very worried.

"Nonsense! It's not like you weigh much and it's less then a dozen steps to the bedroom." Andrew laughed softly. Lyn was indeed light in his arms, despite his height. Carefully maneuvering through the door he carried Lyn across the hall, head bowed to continue lavishing attention to Lyn's bare chest. Lyn twined the fingers of one hand in Andrew's long hair the other he used to guide Andrews's mouth back to his in order to kiss him deeply as he was laid on the bed.

With mouths still locked Andrew lay down next to him. Lyn's hands traced feather light over Andrews's arms and shoulders. Tracing over the vulnerable flesh of his neck and down over the muscular plain of his chest. Brushing lightly over each nipple and then all the way down to the drawstring of his pants but no further. With his touch still teasingly light he smiled up at Andrew.

Andrew offered a gentle smile back before trailing kisses down Lyn's chest and torso to the button of his slacks, dipping his tongue underneath the material, he was rewarded with a gasp from Lyn, his hips arching slightly in eagerness. Slowly Andrew undid the button kissing the scant inch of newly revealed flesh before sliding down Lyn's fly in torturously languid movements, taking his sweet time freeing Lyn's already straining erection. Lyn's fingers twisted in Andrews's hair as he felt Andrew's warm breath on his very eager anatomy.

His slacks were drawn off slowly along with his boxers, to reveal Lyn's jutting member, the faint light from the window glinting off the three small silver studs that made up his Jacob's Ladder piercing. Andrew's tongue teased over his thighs and erection, swirling around the ball studs.

"Andrew..." Lyn panted. "You're going to be the death of me yet."

"Ah but what a way to go." Andrew said with quiet laughter as he slowly licked his way back up his lover's body to claim Lyn's mouth, tasting him deeply. Lyn's hands slid over Andrew's back and down to his rear, sliding under the offending flannel pants to caress the muscled flesh underneath.

"Yeah and paybacks a bitch." Lyn laughed in return. He drew Andrew on top of him so that their hips met and their hard members were pressed firmly together, a layer of fabric still between their needy flesh. Lyn arched up against Andrew grinding their hips together. This time it was Andrew who gasped as Lyn grinned brilliantly, repeating the movement until it became a languorous rhythm, a tantalizing friction that had them both panting with need as their mouths explored. Lyn's hands slid over Andrew's body with reverence for his strong unyielding lover, sliding over his chest and seeking his nipples, brushing one with a thumb before taking it between his fingers, rubbing and rolling until Andrew moaned.

"Gods Lyn." He ground out. His hips grinding down into Lyn's more heavily. With practiced ease Lyn rolled until Andrew was pinned beneath him, their mouths never breaking contact, their hips never missing a beat. He broke the lasting kiss slowly, kissing over Andrew's jaw to his neck then lower, echoing the path that Andrew had explored on him. Tongue and lips traced ridges of muscle, stopping to take one hard nipple in his mouth, sucking and raking his teeth over it lightly, eliciting another moan from his lover.

After long teasing moments his mouth moved on, following the light trail of hair down to Andrew's navel, delving his tongue into it briefly. With the same leisurely pace Andrew had taken before, Lyn slowly drew off the flannel pants, letting the waistband drag over Andrew's stiff shaft, watching it twitch with need from even that light friction. Dropping the flannels onto the floor Lyn paused, taking in all of Andrew for a moment, his hard toned body, the surgical scars on his knees and hips, the blond hair scattered lightly over his chest, the way his long blond hair lay on the pillow. His strong handsome lover, his husband. His rock and strength. Leaning up Lyn placed a soft kiss at the corner of Andrew's mouth.

"Love you An." Drew smiled, gray eyes meeting Lyn's.

"Love you too baby." Lyn lowered himself again so that his mouth hovered over Andrews's erection. In one long lick he covered Andrew from base to tip then slowly took him in his mouth, drawing him in as deeply as he could, wrapping his hand around the last couple inches. Andrew cried out then bit his lip, trying to keep quiet as Lyn pleasured him. It had been weeks since they had been intimate like this. The last few days because Lyn had been staying with Ryo but it seemed like every time in the last month that they had tried, one or both of the girls would wake up. Andrew prayed desperately that this was not going to be another of those times. He needed too badly to be close to Lyn like this, to share this intimacy.

"Yes! God yes baby!" Andrew whispered vehemently as Lyn's tongue found his most sensitive spot. Lyn could taste Andrew pre-cum and slowly backed off until he was just licking up Andrews's length. He grazed his tongue over Andrew's tip before licking his way back up Andrew's chest until he was straddling his hips. Andrew winced as he felt Lyn's weight resting on his hips and nearly slammed a fist into the mattress in frustration. This was the one thing that he would never get over. No matter what position they tried it always hurt his hips or his knees.

"I'm sorry baby." Lyn gasped, frowning and immediately raising up on his knees slightly to remove his weight from Andrew's hips. "That was stupid of me. I didn't think..."

"No please Lyn..." Andrew reached up and pulled Lyn down to him so that they were pressed chest to chest, kissing him deeply and rolling yet again so that he straddled Lyn's hips. "It's okay love." Andrew reassured him before claiming his mouth again.

Lyn's hands rested on Andrew shoulders for long moments, deeply regretting having caused his lover any pain but as the kiss lingered his distraction abated and his hands slid down over Andrew's back and butt, stroking into his crevice, rubbing over his opening. Andrew shifted, giving Lyn better access to his waiting bud. Lyn paused reaching up to the bedside table. Encountering a stuffed bunny, he tossed it aside and it hit the floor with an indignant squeak. There was a pause... then both men burst out laughing.

"Hell..." Lyn laughed as he found the lubricant and shook his head in amusement. Glad that he and Andrew had long ago found their sense of humor about lovemaking. Lubing his fingers Lyn again found Andrew's opening, laughter dying off as passion once again mounted. Andrew raised his hips slightly as Lyn slipped a finger slowly into him, sliding it in and out, teasing him, and loosening him.

Another finger, Andrew moaned, his hands rubbing over Lyn's chest reaching down to slowly stroke his member. Reaching back he stole the bottle of lube and applied it to Lyn's throbbing shaft, coating him thoroughly, and then some as his thumb brushed over its tip, gently turning the piercings, making Lyn arch in pleasure. "Gods! Yes baby... I love you" Lyn panted writhing as his lover played with his studs.

Shifting, Andrew guided Lyn's shaft to his entrance, lowering himself slowly, back arching as he bit his lip. Lyn slid deep inside him, pressing against the center of his pleasure. They started slow, wary of Andrew's joints but pleasure and need quickly won over as they tried to stifle their moans and keep the headboard from slamming against the wall.

"Hurry baby!" Andrew groaned. "I can't... I'm...uhh!" Andrew came with a sudden force, hips rocking into Lyn's stroking hands and thrusting hips, his seed covering Lyn's fingers and chest. Lyn gasped as Andrew tightened around him and his back arched in cat like grace. He called Andrew's name again and again as his climax washed over him with such force that the room spun.

They came back down slowly, Andrew lying down next to Lyn and pulling him closer while drawing the covers over their shivering, sweat soaked bodies. "I can't stay." Lyn whispered, lacing his fingers with Andrew's and kissing each of his husband's knuckles.

"God... I know... Just a half-hour.... Please?" Andrew whispered back, nuzzling his face in Lyn's hair.

"All right lover just a half-hour." Lyn reached to the bedside table and set the alarm to sound in exactly a half-hour then lay back in Andrew's arms.

It felt like only seconds before the alarm was piercing the quiet night. Lyn slapped it off with a groan. Andrews's arms tightened around him. Lyn pulled out of the warmth of Andrew's arms with a sigh, pausing to kiss him softly. "I'm sorry baby but Ryo's expecting one of us. He really shouldn't be left alone." Lyn sighed and Andrew nodded sleepily.

"I know. I know." Andrew reached up and brushed Lyn's hair off his brow. "Be careful lover. Leave the girls. I can manage them for the night." Lyn nodded, placing another soft kiss on the corner of Andrew's mouth before straightening. Padding around the room he got dressed and slipped down the stairs, pulling a blanket over Dee whom had fallen asleep on the couch. Giving Duke a final pat he collected his guitar and slipped out into the night.

Bikk y heard the lock turning and looked up from his perch on the couch. He knew that he should be in bed but he had to talk to Lyn. He had wanted to call him but figured the guy needed some time with his family and so he waited. Looking up as Lyn stepped inside the apartment he fought to hold his own emotions in check. "Lyn...?" Was all that he could manage, his voice choked with sadness as he sat there staring first at Lyn and then down at his hands.

Lyn frowned deeply the gentle after glow and euphoria that had followed him despite leaving Andrews bed, evaporating in an instant. "Bikky, what's wrong?"

"It's... It's just that I'm worried about Ryo. He's hurting and I feel so helpless. I just don't know what I can do to make him feel better." Bikky fought hard to keep the tears in check. "I remember having a discussion about depression in health class and Ryo is showing all the signs. What if that happens and then they take me away from him?" Damn, there went the tears. "I'm really scared now. Ryo has always been one of the strongest people I've known... How can love do this to a person? I don't want it if it makes you hurt that much..."

Lyn hugged the boy tightly glad for once there was no major catastrophe to contend with, nothing a few minutes of love and undivided attention wouldn't fix. . At least he could still hang on to that afterglow from his and Drew's lovemaking. "Shh, it's okay kiddo. Come with me when I talk to him, okay? He needs our support that's true and just being there for him helps him a lot. I have something that might make him feel better too. All right Sport? Just hang in there and it will get better."

"I called Cal she's off of school tomorrow and she's going to go with me to talk to Dee. We have to do something. I have to help Ryo even if Dee doesn't." Bikky clung to him as his sobs started to subside. "Man if love hurts this much then forget it cause I don't need it." He hated anything to do with love for how it was hurting Ryo. That confused him even more for he hated the very thing he was reaching out for.

"Love's a funny thing Tiger. Come on let's talk to Ryo... I think I have good news." He stroked the boy's platinum locks from his brow still hugging him tightly.

"Okay." Bikky wiped his eyes as they walked back to the bedroom. Ryo was lying on the bed, silent and clutching a pillow. Lyn crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed next to Ryo, resting a hand on his back.

"Ryo?"

"Hai?" Ryo gathered himself and slowly sat up. "Gomen nasai... I guess I just lost track of time. Bikky you should be in bed. It's late." He told the youth as he looked at him and then at Lyn. "I miss Dee Lyn... God I miss him." Dark eyes glistened with unshed tears that he fought to hold back.

Bikky crawled onto the bed giving Ryo a quick hug before he silently slipped from the room, deciding that this was adult conversation that was best left with them. Going into the kitchen he started some tea, Ryo's favorite kind, in hopes of cheering up the man he hoped to call dad someday.

"I-I miss Dee so much. I miss having him here telling me that it's going to be okay... I miss my best friend." Ryo sighed as he sat there on the bed. His hands were shaking as he lifted one to comb through his hair.

"For once I have good news for you on that front." Lyn smiled gently. "I talked to Dee. Not that it went well. I made an ass of myself really quickly but I did get this much." Lyn shook his head still chastising himself for his own stupidity... fools do rush in. "He's... well... he's changed his mind. He says that he loves you and says that... well basically he just needs some time to heal. He isn't sending you away forever. But he's having a real hard time dealing with what happened to him. He just needs time. He's asking you to wait."

"He waited for me for two years. I can wait too." Ryo smiled slightly. "Still, why won't he share with me his pain? Isn't that what couples are supposed to do? I can't help him if he won't let me in. I'm locked out and I feel so empty." Dark eyes looked straight into Lyn's. All the emotions, the pain and the love he had for Dee, blazed within them. They hid nothing, instead baring Ryo's soul for all to see.

Lyn did his best not to flinch away. He was the wrong man for that look but Dee was currently preoccupied. He gave Ryo's shoulder a squeeze. "Ryo he's ashamed. I don't have the details, Andrew wouldn't give them to me but he doesn't want you to see his shame. He can't let you in right now. He can't really let anyone in. But he loves you. He says that he loves you and wants you to wait for him. He also sent you this." Lyn walked over to his guitar case, producing the CD and slipping it into Ryo's stereo, skipping to the appointed track.

"T-That's Dee!" Ryo said immediately as the song started his eyes widening. "That's his voice! He's singing my favorite song! 'My Baby You' by Marc Anthony. Whenever that would come onto the radio Dee would always sing it to me."

Ryo listened as Dee's velvety voice filled the room. 'My baby you/ Are the reason I could fly/And cause of you/ I don't have to wonder why./ Baby you/ There's no more just getting by/You're the reason I feel so alive.' Ryo sat there, his hands shaking and tears slipping down his cheeks as the song ended. "Dee, ai shiteru... Itsumo. Itsumo Dee!"

Lyn smiled slightly, the weight that had been in his heart lifting some, glad to see what little recording equipment he had, had gone to good use. "See it will be okay." Lyn said softly.

"He sounds so beautiful Lyn... I miss him." Ryo smiled through his tears and closed his eyes as he smiled. Things did look a little brighter after all.

Lyn sat back down on the corner of the bed. "Feel a little better Ryo? Do you think that we can talk to Bikky now? He's pretty worried about you and should be told about what's going on."

"Yeah I think so." Ryo smiled more and then grinned. He started taking deep breaths to calm his shattered nerves. "I guess that Bikky does deserve to know what's happening and where things lie at the moment." Lyn gave Ryo's shoulder another squeeze before he slipped from the room in search of Bikky.

Bikky jumped, almost knocking the tray from his arms when he came out of the kitchen and Lyn was almost op top of him. "I-I made some tea. Just like Ryo showed me how to do." He beamed proudly. "H-How is he?"

"Good job short stack." Lyn grinned and ruffled the boy's hair. "He's better... Much better I think though I think we all need to sit down and sort out a few thing. Sound fair?"

"Okay. W-What had him so upset though?" Bikky still held out a deep concern for his guardian.

"Well that's what we're going to talk about." Lyn escorted the boy into Ryo's room, giving Ryo a supportive smile as he let Bikky show off his tea making skills.

"I made you some tea for you... For Lyn too." Bikky smiled as he sat the tray on the bedside table.

"Arigato gozaimasu Bikky-kun." Ryo smiled a little more.

"Uh Ryo? English please?" Bikky looked at him with a puzzled look upon his face.

"I said thank you very much. And 'kun' is a label placed at the end of a name. In this case it's to refer to an older person or adult speaking to someone younger." He explained and then looked up at Lyn. "I've tried to teach him and Dee Japanese but they just don't get it."

Lyn smiled. "Hel... Uhm... Heck even I don't get Japanese. I speak only a very few words... It's not an easy language to learn." He smiled and sat back on the edge of the bed, waiting. This was Ryo's show and he was just there to take tickets.

"That's what Dee always says. I want to go back and visit sometime. I haven't been there since my parents were murdered. Dee and Bikky would love it." Ryo sighed and poured tea for himself and Lyn, handing the larger man a cup. "Bikky I need to tell you something and I hope you can try to understand."

"Okay what is it? Is Bozo moving back in?" Bikky arched an eyebrow, glancing at Lyn who was stifling a snicker.

"No. Not yet anyway. It's about Dee but not that..." Ryo's hands started shaking a little and he shut his eyes trying to center himself.

"What?" Bikky looked at Lyn. "What's going on?"

Lyn looked to Ryo. "You got it? Or do you want me to take a crack at it?"

"I can do this... I have to." Ryo sighed and took a long deep breath. "Bikky it's just that Dee needs time. Time to sort through things and get his head straight... and well, so do I. Dee deserves a second chance and my understanding. I love him Bikky and I need to give him a chance... We need to give him a chance" Ryo paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. "Obviously more is going on with Dee then either you or I are aware of and until he's ready to talk about it, we have to be patient."

"Why you'd want to is beyond me but it's your choice Ryo." Bikky looked at him sadly for a moment before his street punk attitude slipped back into place. "I am warning you though. If Dee messes this up nothing is going to keep me from kicking his butt!"

"There shouldn't be any reason for that. I get this feeling that once Dee has it together, everything will fall into place." Ryo tried to assure him. "I'm also going to start the adoption process again. It's high time we get things rolling on that again."

"It doesn't matter. It's only a piece of paper. I don't need it to know that I'm your son." Bikky's lips quirked in a small smile.

"Nani? W-What?" Ryo felt confused. He just assumed that Bikky would to be adopted.

"I'm your son as long as I'm in here." Bikky laid the flat of his hand against Ryo's chest. Swallowing hard, Ryo found tears slipping from his eyes. "That paper only proves to others what you and I all ready know. That I'm you're son and that you're my dad."

"Itsumo Bikky... Always Bikky! You'll always be in my heart." Ryo pulled Bikky into his arms and held him tightly. It was the only thing that he could do. Bikky's words were far too powerful for words of his own. Lyn smiled gently as he eased out of the room shutting the door silently behind him as he left. This was between father and son now and that's where it was meant to be.

Bikk y stood at the door with Cal who was shifting nervously. They waited for someone to answer. Hoping that Dee was there as well. Bikky could hear a dog barking and he smiled. Andrew opened the door, hand firmly on Duke's collar as he tried to restrain the exuberant mutt who had come to be very fond of Bikky over the last few weeks.

"Hey sport! Here to see Dee?"

"Yup! Hey Duke!" Bikky grinned and fished out a dog treat from his pocket. A rather large raw hide bone was sloppily taken from the youngster's hand. "Oh Andrew this is Cal my Gir... My friend." He blushed.

"So you're the one who is lucky enough to have Lyn huh?" She smiled.

"Hehe... She has a crush on Lyn in case you couldn't tell." Bikky rolled his eyes and looked at Andrew.

Andrew smiled. "Indeed and I don't share." He winked at Cal. "Dee's on the back porch smoking like a chimney. I'll be up in the study if you need anything. And help yourself to anything in the fridge kids." Flashing them another smile and releasing Duke to his rawhide, Andrew gimped back up the stairs. He was used to having Bikky around and wasn't sure why the boy even bothered to knock anymore.

"Wow! He's cute too!" Cal gushed knowing that it gnawed at Bikky when she did that.

"Figures!" Bikky smirked and headed through the house to the back porch. "Hey there bozo! How's it going?" Bikky laughed, announcing his presence to Dee who sat there staring blankly off into the distance.

Dee stubbed out his cigarette and tossed it into the coffee can next to his chair. At least it wasn't raining today. Andrew didn't allow him to smoke in the house so he was at the mercy of the elements and his addiction. He turned his head in Bikky's general direction. "What are you doing here brat?"

"I came to see you, you perv! Brought someone with me as well." Bikky nodded to Cal. Both had planned to bombard Dee with affection in hopes of making him see how much he needed Ryo.

Cal walked up and hugged Dee, kissing his cheek. "I've missed you." She sniffled a little.

Dee couldn't help but smile. He had a soft spot for the girl who was like the little sister he never had but wouldn't have minded having. Carefully he wrapped an arm around her tiny waist giving her a hug. "I've missed you too Cal. So what brings you all the way over here?"

"What do you think?" Bikky spoke up. "After the night I had with Ryo we needed a break and so we came to see you... You big jerk."

"Bikky I thought that we weren't going to say anything?" Cal winked at him.

"Uh yeah that's right. I forgot." Bikky smiled at her.

"Say anything? About what? What's happened?!" If Dee had been able to see he most likely would have seized Bikky by the front of his shirt and demanded answers. But as it was he simply sat forward in his chair, eyebrows knitted in concern.

"Ryo spent the better part of last night having a near melt down Dee. Lyn and I thought for sure that he was having a nervous breakdown." Bikky's voice wavered and he had to take a deep breath to keep from snickering. Bikky decided that if Dee were led to believe that Ryo was totally losing it that he'd rush back to him sooner. So he and Cal had concocted a plan to do just that.

"Maybe it's a good thing that you can't see him because you would be shocked by what you'd see." Bikky looked at Cal who wasn't happy about Bikky's plan but had agreed to go along with it anyway.

"God..." Dee spoke softly in what may have been a prayer... or vulgarity. "I-I'm sorry." Was all that he could manage while shaking his head. His poor Ryo. God how he loved him. Guilt wracked him but he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't be with Ryo... Not right now. He was still too raw, too vulnerable. It was as though every emotion was on the surface where just about anyone could touch it.

"Yeah... God! Pray to your God Dee. Pray that Ryo doesn't lose it for real. He's at least 10 to 15 pounds under weight and that's on top of him being thin all ready. His eyes are sunken with dark circles around them. His hands shake all the time. He's always saying he's lonely... Even his hair seems dull and worst of all he still won't eat right." Bikky knew this wasn't how it was supposed to go but there was no stopping him now. Those things were the truth not some exaggeration. Ryo did look like hell.

"At night I watch as he goes into that bedroom as though he's walking to his execution or something and it breaks my heart Dee." Bikky watched as Cal, who was now sitting on Dee's lap, buried her face in Dee's shoulder and started sobbing. She adored Ryo and seeing him deteriorate before her eyes was breaking even her will.

"I... I... I'm so sorry Bikky..." Dee brought a hand up to his face. "Did Lyn tell him...? Did he tell him that I love him? That I just... I just can't be with him right now... I just... can't." Dee's voice wobbled with emotion. His poor Ryo! God he had screwed up so badly. Damn that bitch! Damn her for doing this to him... To them!

"Yeah but it's one thing to hear it from someone else and another to hear it from you... That's what he needs! To hear it from you! Dee whatever it is that has you so totally freaked can't be any worse then the pain Ryo is feeling right now. Let him help you! Dammit!" Bikky turned his back to Dee for a moment. The emotions building in his own heart were becoming just too much. They had come there to guilt trip Dee but he was feeling just as guilty about what he and Cal were doing. Bikky knew that it was wrong but he was fresh out of options at the moment.

"I-It's his eyes... That's what spooked me today." Cal's muffled voice rang out. "They looked so empty this morning... So... So empty. He misses you Dee. He's lonely without you around." Cal broke again, her tears wetting the shirt Dee had on.

"Why can't you just visit with him? Talk to him a little maybe. Let him know from your own lips how you feel? WHY?" Bikky hung his head and started crying as well.

"Ah Christ." Dee tried not to cry as he held open the arm that wasn't around Cal, for Bikky. "It's... It's just not that easy. I want to... I want to but I can't..."

"Listen here Dee Latener! If I can say it then so can you!" Bikky flew into his arms hugging Dee tightly. "I-I love you bozo! Okay?" He kissed his cheek.

A strangled sob escaped Dee as he pulled the boy close, hugging him fiercely. "I love you too Bikky. And I do love Ryo... I wish that I could explain it but I can't." He kissed the top of Bikky's head and then Cal's. "I'm trying Bikky... I... I really am."

"We know that you are Dee." Cal sobbed. "We're just worried that for Ryo, your ability to finally face him could come too late. We've hidden all the knives, razors... scissors... Even the aspirin. We're scared he may try something. That's how bad it has gotten." Cal laid it on thick as she took the lead that Bikky had started earlier. If showering him with love didn't work then scaring the hell out of him had to.

"No! NO! He wouldn't do that! Ryo would never do that!" Dee's eyes moved as though scanning the backyard before him and though some light was starting to filter into his vision, it was little more then him being able to tell for sure whether his eyes were opened or closed. "All right..." He said softly, trembling, not sure that he could actually do it. "I... I... I'll call him... tonight."

"T-Thank you Dee. Maybe it will help." Bikky spoke softly, still clinging to Dee's neck.

"It will at least give him something to look forward to." Cal added and then realized that Andrew was standing there and watching them. She felt horrible that he may have heard their little spiel and would alert Dee to it.

Drew leaned against the doorjamb, Annie in his arms. He only hoped that Dee could follow through with calling Ryo. They talked... Every day they talked but Dee was still hurting. In fact more then a few of Andrew's old wounds had been reopened and he desperately wanted his husband home again. He lay a finger over his lips indicating to Cal that she shouldn't let on that he was there. He had heard their talk about Ryo and made a mental note of it. He would either speak with them about it or alert Lyn to it and have him give them a dressing down about fibs.

"Dee just know this... Ryo and I are your family. Families work together to fix problems. Just like Drew and Lyn do..." Bikky looked up at Andrew, winked and put his fingers to his lips as well in hopes that Drew would somehow see what he was about to do.

"Besides you need to get back home soon. I kind of like having Lyn there... Ryo is too. Now you wouldn't want some other guy taking your place would you?" Bikky as hard as he tried couldn't keep a straight face and let out a small giggle.

Andrew covered his mouth to stifle his own laughter as well. It however had gotten Dee's attention in a whole new way and he sat up straighter. "You don't think...?" He stopped when he heard Bikky's not so innocent giggle.

"You brat! You actually had me thinking that something was going on between Lyn and Ryo!" Dee's fingers unerringly found Bikky's side and tickled without mercy. Andrew was doubled over laughing, clutching Annie to him as he tried not to drop her in his fits of silent laughter.

"Hey it could happen! You never know! Lyn is a cool guy and Cal all ready wants to marry him... Why not Ryo too?" Bikky howled with laughter.

"BIKKY! You weren't supposed to tell!" Cal blushed furiously. "I'm so embarrassed!"

"Ah Cal? Lyn all ready knows." Bikky smirked at her then turned to look at Dee. "Seriously Dee... I think that Ryo would much rather have you sharing his heart... So don't forget that okay?" Bikky gave Dee another hug. "You can try all you want to make us hate you but it's not going to work."

"Yeah... Besides... I sure as hell don't want to be stuck with Andrew. He smells!" Dee turned his face towards stifled laughter that he heard and winked. Andrew laughed harder shaking his head, quite confident that he did not smell. "And I thought that you wanted to marry me Cal." Dee pretended to look hurt as he gave Bikky another squeeze kissing his forehead. "I'm glad that you don't hate me Bikky. Very glad."

Cal giggled. "I'll marry you both. How's that? Or all three of you for that matter..." After she said it she gave Drew a quick look and buried her face into Dee's shoulder. "I don't believe that I just said that... Oh GOD!"

"She's in it deep huh Dee?" Bikky smiled. "I've never hated you Dee. I was just being protective of Ryo that's all."

"I know that kid. We're all trying to protect him but I think that he's got us fooled. I think that he's really protecting us."

W ildefyre: Not much to say other then... See ya next chapter. *Sighs and walks off.*

Irish: Mmmmm.... Drew and Lyn lemon... Wasn't that yummy? :D I'm sure that they agree. Um... lets see... no major notes. Hopefully in the next couple weeks the people doing fan art will have some ready... yup that's about it