Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Wasuremono ❯ chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Okay, I feel VERY VERY VERY bad about making you all wait so long to read this! I had done an experimental post a while ago but I was told, and saw for myself that I was missing a whole lot of info and it was confusing. So I spent a while rearranging the ideas in my head until I finally came up with this. School has also been a big hinderence, I had a horrible teacher who killed my inspiration and will to write by giving such stupid work. Art projects in English? WTF?! Well she is gone and we finally have an English teacher who knows what he is doing. Also I have been slaving away on the idea for my own original story. I have quite a bit planed out!

Anyway, I promise the next chapter will be out really soon, I have this planed out to be 4-6 chapters long probably. Don't worry this fanfics will be finished no matter what.

:: = Flashback

Tongari ^_^

"You're falling in love with me."

"I am not!" Ryo shouted indignantly at `him'. Damn the man for being so cocky, so sure of himself and his charm, for playing games with Ryo's heart. For being so right. Regardless as to how much his brain screamed `NO!' at him Ryo's heart knew the truth, this man was wining him over bit by bit and it scared him.

`He' was suddenly inches away from Ryo; he could feel the other man's warm breath on his cheek. The sensation sent shivers down Ryo's spine.

So close…

"Really?" `He' asked, eyes searching Ryo's dark ones. Ryo's heart began to beat erratically.

So close…

"Of course not. You're joking around right?" Ryo forced his body to move away and tried to hide how flustered he really was, "As usual?"

Why does `he' do this to me?

"You can go to bed and I'll be…"

`He' had Ryo against the wall. `He' wrapped his arms around Ryo and pulled Ryo into a fierce kiss. Ryo's head swam and his legs felt weak.

When `he' took advantage of Ryo's parted lips and slipped `his' tongue in to caress Ryo's his legs nearly gave out.

He clutched at `his' arm and returned the kiss timidly.

God, I was so good.

Why?

It ended far to soon but `He' pulled away. "It's not a joke to me, Ryo."

*

Ryo awoke with a jolt.

His heart was thudding uncontrollably in his chest, his breathing was uneven and his sweatpants and T-shit clung tightly to his sweat covered body. He was frightened for a moment, not knowing where he was. He gazed around and relief flooded through him when he realized he was in the living room. The T.V was giving off a soft glow and the volume had been muted, a blanket lay abandoned on the ground having been thrown off the couch and Ryo during his restless sleep.

Ryo lifted his shaking hands to his face and brushed his golden bangs from where they were plastered to his forehead and rested his head in his hands.

"Not another one."

Ryo covered his face with his hands as if doing so could keep the quickly fading images from his dreams from slipping away. Another night, another dream, another night where he awoke still able to feel the gentle caresses and taste `His' lips on his own and still Ryo couldn't remember `His' face or voice when he awoke.

He dropped back down onto the couch and sighed loudly. He felt alone in the world, especially at night, especially tonight. For the first time in the few months Ryo had been home Dee had spent the night and slept on the couch incase Ryo needed him. Dee had been a source of comfort and protection in the first few weeks of confusion. From what he had been told he and Dee had been partners at work and friends. Very close friends from what Ryo had been able to make out. Dee had been one of the first people allowed to see him. Actually no, that was wrong; Dee had forced his way through the nurses and doctors to see Ryo.

:: "I don't believe you, I wont believe this bullshit until I see Ryo for myself!"

Ryo's attention was pulled away from Berkley to the door at the sound of the angry voice and the doctor's protests. The door opened and the owner of the voice walked in.

The first thing that Ryo noticed was the man's eyes. The emerald green depths shone with emotions, primarily worry at this moment. Raven black hair fell, unheeded, into his face momentarily obscuring his eyes from Ryo's view. When the man looked back up at Ryo the eyes that attracted Ryo lit up and a smile broke across his face transforming the look of worry into one of joy.

"Ryo, you're awake!" Dee said.

He crossed the distance of the small room in a few steps and pulled Ryo into a hug, holding him carefully so as not to injure them both.

Ryo's heart began to beat faster at the feeling of Dee's arms holding him in such a gentle and caring embrace, the soft whispers of thanks to god that were said so softly only they were heard by Ryo's ears only.

Ryo stiffened in Dee's arms it felt familiar like there was something that he should know but he couldn't figure it out. At this reaction Dee pulled back immediately and the feeling was lost.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hurt you did I?" Dee asked, the worry he felt over the brunette clear in his voice.

Ryo shook his head to say no. He then made a mental note to do that again anytime soon when shocks of pain flashed through his head.

"I'm fine," Ryo hesitated a moment, "Who are you?"

He felt bad asking this question. It hurt when he had asked I earlier and he was sure it would hurt now, but he wasn't expecting the look of complete loss and pain that crossed the other man's face nor did he expect the almost physical pain that he felt in reaction to this expression on Dee's face.

Dee ducked his head low to hide the tears. God, how could this be happening? Why Ryo?

Dee's head shot up when Doctor Raxlen's hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched away from the touch. The gesture was supposed to be comforting but it hurt him deeply. The contact meant that this whole thing was really and not some horrible dream he would wake up from.

Dee let himself be lead out of the room by Doctor Raxlen, keeping his eyes averted from Ryo and Berkley who he had noticed just now had been watching silently from the side.

How could this be happening?

Ryo watched Dee leave being led out of the room and finally turned his attention back to Berkley.

"Who was that?"::

Ryo buried his face in the pillow on the couch; it still held Dee's smell on it. Ryo inhaled deeply, taking in the unique smell that he associated with comfort, protection, friendship, Dee.

At times, when Dee thought Ryo wasn't looking, Dee's expression would become so filled with sadness and loss that it tore at Ryo's heart and made him want to remember everything just to take that look from his friend's face.

"You alright, Ryo?"

Startled by the voice Ryo twisted around to find Bikky standing in the kitchen doorway. The blond boy's eyes reflected his worry for his guardian. Bikky had refused to leave Ryo, even though he had no idea as to whom Bikky was, saying that he would not leave Ryo especially when he had no memories because maybe he could help in some ways and Ryo needed him more then ever. It had helped Ryo a lot through the past few months knowing he was so obviously loved and he felt a love for the young boy as well.

"I am fine, Bikky." Ryo smiled but even he knew it was feeble and it was obvious from the look on Bikky's face he knew Ryo was lying but he wasn't about to press Ryo about it, "I am really, now go back to bed."

Bikky nodded, "Alright, g'night Ryo."

When Bikky's door was shut Ryo out a sigh and dragged himself off the couch and switched off the T.V., and the room was plunged into darkness.

Why couldn't he ever remember the man who haunted his dreams was? Why did his heart wrench painfully every time he woke up and no on was sleeping beside him? Why couldn't he remember anything?

Ryo let his eyes flutter shut, reveling in the darkness of the room. The darkness of the room was a reflection of the emptiness in his mind. His whole life seemed to have begun when he woke up in the hospital and seen Berkley's face.

It had been so confusing, especially when some of his past had been explained. He had no idea who he was and that was painful enough, then he had people trying to explain to him he was Ryo Mclane, a New York cop, he had a young boy whom he looked after, and on and on and on! Who was Ryo Mclane and why did everyone think he was him?

How could he be this man when he didn't know anything about him?

Ryo dropped his hands and pushed himself up from the couch. He shivered and wrapped his arms about himself; the cool night air against his sweaty skin was chilling his body and raising goosebumps all over.

He walked into the bathroom and turned the water in the shower on. He striped off his clothing and stepped under the warm spray. The hot water ran over his naked form, soothing his body and washing away the sweat but doing nothing for the turmoil of thoughts in his mind. He felt as if his dreams were the answers to all that had been lost in his life, and

that if he knew who the man in his dreams was it would all make sense but every time he tried to see the face of his lover it slipped farther out of his sight. Every time he tried harder to remember his lover's voice it became harder to hear.

Why couldn't he remember? He didn't even know who he really was. He out on a brave face for Bikky and the others but in his head he was constantly screaming and crying. Sometimes he would be so close to remembering something, it would be feel as if it was just within his grasp then it would slipped away into the darkness of his mind and he would fall into fits of crying that, sometimes, would last long into the night.

It was painful to see the looks of hurt in peoples' eyes when he didn't know them but it was far worse to look in the mirror and not recognize the face you were looking at as your own.

Ryo leant his weight against the cool shower wall, he felt shaky. He ran a hand through his wet hair, his eyes fluttering shut. Saline tears fell from his closed eyes and joined the streams of water flowing down his cheeks.

Why couldn't he remember?

Ryo slid to the shower floor. He drew his knees up against his chest and wrapped his arms around himself in a tight hug.

It hurts. Please make it stop.

More tears slid down his face unnoticed, sobs shook his body.

Please, make it stop.

He stayed there, curled up into himself at the bottom of the shower. Even when the water ran cold and the faint light of dawn spread through the tiny world of the bathroom.

Make it Stop.

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