Fan Fiction / Ojamajo Doremi Fan Fiction ❯ Deadpool Meets Ojamajo Doremi ❯ Chapter 1

Deadpool Meets Ojamajo Doremi

By CrossoverManiac

 

Ojamajo Doremi is the property of Toei Animation and Asahi Broadcasting Corporation. Deadpool is the product of Marvel Comics. I own neither of them.

 

Though I've only seen the dub myself, I'm using the original Japanese names out of respect for the original show. For those not familiar with the Japanese names,

 

Doremi=Dori

Hazuki=Reanne

Aiko=Mirabelle

Majorika=Patrina

Lala=Lorelei

Majo-kai=Lunaverse

 

Now, on with the twisted tale

 

 

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*Setting: The Doremi Magical Shop*

Deadpool: *charges in the magic shop and slams the door behind him.* CUSTOMER! CUSTOMER! *bangs on bell at the front desk* CUSTOMER NEED SERVING!

Doremi: *creeps cautiously to the counter upon seeing the two katanas and 9mm Deadpool's packing* Ca...ca...can I...help...you!

Deadpool: The Hell you can! I need a curse!

*Aiko and Hazuki peep out from the storage closet*

Hazuki: A curse?

Deadpool: If I need an echo Four-Eyes, I'll call you. *turns attention back to Doremi* I need a curse for this abino named T-Ray. You should know him. He's into this hocus pocus crap like you. I know! How about a family of gophers that eat his brain and live inside his skull! That'll teach'em for cursing me with immortality.

Doremi: We don't know anyone named T-Ray, and we don't sell curses.

Deadpool: Oh, so Muggle counterfeit money isn't good enough for you, you racists.

Aiko: But Harry Potter's make-believe.

Deadpool: You can't fool me. Harry Potter's a documentary done in real time, or at least that's what the giant talking milkshake told me. I want flesh-eating gophers, and I want them now.

Majorika: *comes into the shop with her fairy Lala* What's this commotion all about?

Deadpool: Oh, forget the curse! I want her! *points to Lala* Can she grow big like that other fairy in the movie with Tom Cruise and Satan?

Lala: *slaps Deadpool* PERVERT!

Majorika: She's not for sale, you loony.

Deadpool: How about renting her for an hour?

Majorika: Definitely not!

Hazuki *balled up on the floor in the fetal position* Please, Majorika-san, give the man what he wants, and then maybe he'll leave.

 

Deadpool: *picking up Hazuki and cradling her in his arms* Oh, how cute! She's having her first mental breakdown. *reaches behind back and takes out a pistol* Let Uncle Deadpool put a 9mm slug between your eyes and make the mean old voices go away.

 

Doremi: *pulls out magic wand* This man is clearly insane. Make his gun disappear before he causes Hazuki more pain. *Deadpool's gun disappears*

 

Deadpool: HEY! That was my favorite pistol!

 

Aiko: You can't go around shooting one of my best friends!

 

Deadpool: Oh, you're jealous because Four-Eyes is Uncle Deadpool's favorite. You know what they say about the green-eyed monster?

 

Aiko: *angrily* What!

 

Deadpool: *points behind Aiko* He's right behind you.

 

Aiko: *turns around and looks* Where?

 

Deadpool: *kicks Aiko in the rear and sending her flying through the door to the Majo-kai* Ooohhh! *Drops Hazuki and runs to the doorway to the witch world* Purtty *goes through the door and spots two witches talking*

 

Random Witch 1: Who are you and what are you doing here?

 

Deadpool: Another witch.

 

Random Witch 2: Don't say it! *Random Witch 1 turns into a blob*

 

Random Witch 1: We turn into this if you call us `witches'.

 

Deadpool: Cool! Witch! *Random Witch 2 turns into a blob* Witch! Witch! Witch! *runs around the witch world calling witches `witch' and turning them into blobs.

 

 

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Aftermath

 

Hazuki: Committed to a mental hospital after being traumatized by Deadpool for the next ten years of her life. Even after leaving the hospital, she wasn't the same since.

 

Aiko: Even after reconstructive surgery, she donned a paper bag in public for the rest of her life to hide her disfigurement as a result of being tossed head-first into a magic door.

 

Doremi: Quit her dream of being a witch leaving...

 

Majorika: Her mentor permanently in blob mode

 

Lala: Swears off men forever and becomes an old maid.

 

Majo-kai: Eventually captured Deadpool and had him deported back to the human world but not before he caused mayhem and destruction and turning one-third of the witch population into blobs. Subsequently, the Majo-kai closed its borders to the real world forever