Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Herbie's Drive Through Nerma ❯ Questions, Answers, and Pig Boys ( Chapter 2 )

<___> P-Chan's bwees.

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Shortly after completing their project, Herbie opened his doors for Ranma and Akane. Akane got in the passenger side while Ranma got in on the driver's side.

"Thanks Herbie." Akane said.

"Yeah, thanks." Ranma said.

"So, Ranma, still think I was joking?" Akane said smiling.

"Ok, ok! I believe already!" Ranma said slightly annoyed as they got in and drove off. "The question is how the others will take it."

"Especially your mom." Akane said. "After all, Herbie is staying with her."

(It'll be fine.) Herbie beeped.

"Are you sure about that?" Ranma asked.

"Yeah. We have no idea… HEY! We understood him!" Akane realized at the same time Ranma did.

(It's been known to happen.) Herbie replied as they drove by a park with a pair of fountains. (Now, I have my own questions for you Ranma.)

"Oh? Like what?" Ranma replied.

(For starters, weren't you a…) Herbie didn't get a chance to finish because they heard a familiar out-cry.

"WHERE AM I NOW?!"

"Oh, Ryoga!" Akane replied happily.

"Oh great." Ranma huffed.

*SKREEEEEEEECH*

Herbie came to an abrupt stop as he went into full reverse, turned around, and drove towards the location, the fountain.

"HERBIE, WHAT ARE YOU…?!" Both Akane and Ranma yelled when they stopped right in front of one fountain and a certain lost boy.

"YOU?!" Ryoga shouted when he saw the car. He then saw who was in it. "Ranma? AKANE?!"

(Pig-boy.) Herbie beeped angrily. He then edged Ryoga to the fountain.

`Crud! Ranma's trying to get my secret out!' Ryoga thought. `I knew he had no honor!'

"Herbie, cut it out!" Ranma shouted while trying to set the gear into reverse.

"Yes, stop!" Akane said. Herbie than proceeded to stop, but Ryoga remembered what happened the first time he ran into the little car. Sure enough, Herbie popped his hood, but Ryoga jumped right over him and landed right behind him.

`Ha! I outsmarted you this time Ra…' Ryoga was interrupted…

*WHACK*

…when Herbie opened his back hood…

*SPLASH*

…causing Ryoga to crash into the other fountain…

"Bwee?"

"You… little… PERVERT!"

…right in front of a watching Akane. Herbie than open his door quickly, so she could get out and pound some bacon.

(Uh-oh.) Herbie beeped.

"You got that right." Ranma replied.

"BWEE! BWEE! <I CAN EXPLAIN! I CAN EXPLAIN!"> Ryoga desperately tried to get out.

"All those times I let you sleep with me, you saw me undress, all those times you shook your head no… when… I asked if… Ranma lo… YOU NO GOOD LYING HONORLESS PERVERT!" Akane yelled as she was to get out her biggest mallet yet, but hit the pavement as Ryoga ran to the nearest sauna. He then forcibly grabbed Akane. The look in his eyes was that of a man who had just snapped under pressure.

"NO! I HAVE HONOR! I HAVE MORE HONOR THAN RAMNA! I SHOWED UP FOR THE DUEL, I HAVE NEVER LIED TO…" Ryoga said. Sensing the situation would get ugly, Ranma got out of Herbie and race towards the two.

"BULLSHIT!" Akane said. "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T SHOW UP, YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY LOVE FOR ANIMALS TO SLEEP WITH ME, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR FORM…" Thinking he had away out, Ryoga had an idea.

"HE DIDN'T ETHER!" Ryoga confidently said.

"You made me Pig-Boy." Ranma stated. "You made me swear on my honor."

"YOU STUPID BANDANA WEARING PIG! TO THINK I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND AND HAD HONOR!" Akane thought. Again, Ryoga snapped. As Akane tried to mallet him, Ryoga grabbed it and tightened his grip on Akane.

"NO! I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE MENT TO BE TOGETHER!" Ryoga tries to force a kiss, or more, out of Akane when Ranma tries to stop him…

*BONK*

…but to no avail as Ryoga uses the mallet he took from Akane.

"LET ME GO YOU PERVERT! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Akane shouted.

"NO! IT'S RANMA THAT'S HURTING YOU! IT'S HIS FAULT! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!" Ryoga said sounding like a man possessed. Herbie had had enough and started his engine.

"LET ME GO YOU…" Akane started to yell, but was cut off when a deranged Ryoga slapped her across the face so hard, she was knocked out.

*VRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM*

Having enough, Herbie goes after him. At least having enough common sense not to fight a car, Ryoga ran like hell all over the park. But it was no use, no matter how fast he ran, Herbie drove faster.

`This isn't possible!' Ryoga thought. `This car can't drive by itself let alone this fast!' Just then, there was a loud sound of police sirens as cops pulled over just as Herbie came to an abrupt stop.

"We got a call about a kid in a bandana about to rape a woman." The cop emerging from the police car.

"WHAT?! NO, I…" Ryoga then thought about what he was about to do. He tried to blame Ranma for it, but a part of him knew he couldn't. "I… I… I… AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH! NO! SEE! SEE! THE CAR! THE CAR AND RANMA SET ALL OF THIS UP!"

"The car?" The officer asked as his partner emerged from the car. "It looks like a normal 60's Bug to me."

"WHAT?! NO! IT DROVE BY ITSELF! IT CHASED ME! IT MADE ME TURN INTO A PIG AND RANMA WAS BEHIND THE WHEEL!" Ryoga pleaded to the cop, who looked at him as if he was nuts. "HE'LL TELL YOU! HE…" But when Ryoga looked, he saw Ranma trying to wake up Akane. "SEE! SEE! IT'S HIS FAULT THAT SHE'S UNCONCIOUS!"

"What?! It was him officers! The one in the bandana." One woman yelled.

"Yeah, he's the one that did it." One man yelled. Just then, it hit Ryoga.

"THE PEOPLE! THEY SAW IT! THEY SAW THE CAR CHASE ME!" Ryoga said, looking even more deranged.

"I didn't see anything." One person said.

"Don't look at me. You're nuts." The other said.

"But… but…" Ryoga said.

"Let's go son." The officer said. He tried arresting Ryoga, but he escaped.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING! I'M NOT THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE IN JAIL, RANMA…"

*WHAM*

…knocked Pig-Boy out just as Akane came to.

"Thank you son." The officer told Ranma as his partner went to check on Akane.

"Ms? Are you alright?" The other officer asked.

"Oh, my head." Akane said. "Yeah, I'm fine. What will happen to…"

"He'll be prosecuted and sent off to jail." The officer replied.

"Good." Akane said. "Pervert deserves it."

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After spending an hour a the police station, Ranma, Akane, and Herbie were heading back to the Saotomae House to drop the car off and hopefully leave before Ranma got spotted as Ranma.

(Ok, now can I ask you guys something?) Herbie beeped.

"Sure." Akane said.

"What do ya wanna know?" Ranma asked.

(Weren't you a girl?) Herbie asked Ranma. Naturally, Akane and Ranma were a little bewildered at the question. (And that bald guy with the glasses? Wasn't there a panda with a sign where he stood?) Again, they were bewildered at the question.

"Uh… yeah, I was and so was he." Ranma said. "Remember the cursed springs I told you about?"

(Jusenkyo?) Herbie replied. Ranma nodded.

"Well, Pops heard that it was a training ground in China." Ranma said. "When we got there, he wanted to fight right away so we did. Thing is, he couldn't read Chinese and we didn't listen to the guide. I knocked him into the spring of drowned panda and I got so distracted by the change, he knocked me into the spring of drowned girl."

(That explains it.) Herbie beeped. (Hey! Isn't your mom looking for you?) Ranma then panicked.

"Uh… yeah… about that…" Ranma said sounding nervous.

"How did you know?" Akane asked.

(I over heard her talking to Roddy, my friend that knows your mom and asked her to take care of me.) Herbie beeped. (Hold on guys!)

*SKRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHHHHHH*

"HERBIE! NO! WAIT!" Both Ranma and Akane yelled.

Unfortunately, it was to no avail as he zoomed to the Saotomae house a mile away.