Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction ❯ Writing down the words ❯ all things must end ( Chapter 2 )

Title: When Words Fail

AN//: I’m sorry for the abrupt change in title. Though, now that I look at it, it isn’t that different…hmmm. But still better. My gosh, this is actually starting to develop! I am sorry for slow updates (sporadic just doesn’t cover it..). What can I say, life throws me lemons, and I forgot my juicer. This story itself wasn’t even what I had in mind when I started “ In Your Memory”, but I had this idea and it kicked and screamed out. AND I have another idea for a story, no, two..wait no, that could be integrated in with the first one. Bad me. I need to finish what I have. But, as long as you still enjoy this, I’ll keep writing. Or should I say posting, I don’t think I could stop writing. I’m gonna get carpal tunnel if I keep this up.

It was nearing sunset when Thomas made it back to the base. He had cursed Irvine’s twisted sense of humor half way through the first field, especially when he stepped in what he dared not dwell on, but thanked him the rest of the way. He was exhausted, dirty, extremely late, and very likely to be punished for not showing up or calling in, but he was peaceful. The day had afforded him a brilliant sky and warm breeze that wrapped around his weary form and brushed the sandbags of dirt from his shoulders, and for once he walked without thinking of much of anything at all. Quite a feat for a mind as busy as his. He just enjoyed the day. That hadn’t happened much in the past, well, he couldn’t remember but that was okay, because he was here now. And the taste of fresh cookies was still humming thankfully in his contented stomach. There had been a special flavour to them this time and he happily spent most of his walk trying to work that out.

He almost wanted to turn around at the first sight of the walls that surrounded the base. For a moment the feeling was overwhelming; just turn and walk away. Never go back to a life of orders and exploitation. But, and it hurt greatly, he couldn’t do that. He actually liked being able to help people, and to protect. It would have driven him nuts to have been unable to help against the Death Stinger or Raven’s terror when everything was happening. He hated feeling useless.

It was a big plus to be able to serve alongside his brother. Or under him as it happened. Of course, now that everything had returned to a resemblance of normal he hadn’t seen big brother in almost three months.

He made a face at the turn his thoughts had taken as he made his way through the gates, waving amiably to the guard who recognized him and let him in without a hassle. Picking up the pace as he neared the doors he could only wonder what he would get for being so tardy. And for one wicked moment he thought of skipping out altogether on checking in. He let out an agonized sigh when he realized he couldn’t do that. Something important might come up, and he might actually be needed. A quick stop to his room wouldn’t hurt though. If he didn’t put his bag down soon his arms were likely to fall off, and then what good would he be?

Hurrying down the halls Thomas winced at the feeling of unease that simmered in his stomach. A small pang of pain sprang up then dulled into a constant ache, burning a little fire in the pit of his abdomen. He winced and laid a delicate fingered hand on the thin expanse. On top of everything else he was getting sick? What a day. Thomas tried to ignore the little twinges and ache and quickened his pace down the hall and into the sanctity of his tiny room. He would just have to get through his superiors interrogating then hurry back and sleep the rest of the day. First he had to stash his parts in a safe place. That peaceful feeling had all but fled.

Twenty minutes later he returned with a sound scolding and a blazing headache. Whatever he had contracted was wreaking havoc on his normally fit body. And he was supposed to meet Irvine for dinner. The mere thought of food turned his stomach through a blender, and he nearly cheered when he saw the note taped obtrusively on his door. Nearing he saw their was a giant heart doodled on the centre. Irvine was his headache. Quickly pulling off the note before anyone else could get the wrong idea, Thomas hurried into his room and slammed the door. With a flop he landed on soft blankets and snuggled into them like a kitten, nearly falling asleep in matter of seconds before he remembered the paper in his hand. He crinkled his nose in thought. Toss it to wherever it may go, or read what the ditcher had to say. He had been left high and dry in the middle of town. On the other hand he had loved walking through the country. Except for that little unmentionable sticky problem in the field. Then again, he hadn’t been wearing boots either. He sighed. He might as well give the man the benefit of a doubt. Bringing the note up to eye level without sitting up Thomas read quickly through the scrawl that decorated the smudged white paper.

“ He forgot me.” His voice sounded dry even to himself.

Crumpling the note in his hand Thomas tossed it casually over his shoulder in the general vicinity of his wastebasket. Irvine certainly hadn’t minced words. One thing he did truly admire about the man was his ability to say what he meant without any remorse. Though, he wouldn’t have minded a little sugar coating with this case. The good thing was that Irvine had a date with the young woman he had seen earlier, and needed to cancel with him. That was fine by him. They hadn’t had anything important planned anyway, and now he just wanted to sleep.

Snuggling in his bed again, the sheets warming around him with his body heat to a nice cosy nest, Thomas closed his eyes to get his first rest in two days. Only to promptly open them again with a fresh wave of nausea. The room tilted then righted itself with a sickening jolt, and it was all he could do to clutch onto the quilts beneath him. A quick dash to the bathroom was all he could manage before he was completely sick. His days worth of meals turned over and out in his stomach and left him feeling grateful for the emptiness that followed. Pain swelled and ebbed like a tide in his abdomen, leaving him weak and disoriented. Curling up on the small rug in front of his shower Thomas chose to stay where he lay.

Something was tickling in his nose. A soft brush of cloth over the tip of his nose made him scrunch and sniffle. His mother had once told him bunny’s wiggled their noses, not scrunched, but he couldn’t remember why he remembered. He couldn’t remember much at the moment, much too early. A yawn escaped slightly chapped lips, and his nose immediately scrunched again as morning breath assailed it. There was something cold under his cheek, and vaguely he realized he was on the floor. Another tickling brush of cloth made him sneeze, squeezing his eyes shut tight before opening them slowly to the morning light.

Thomas blinked. In front of his nose was a dusting cloth, filling his vision and wiping again at his face. With a sneeze he sat up and rubbed at his eyes, trying to dispel the sudden burning the light had brought on. Blinking them open, he managed to focus on the floor, and for the first time see what had woken him. He smiled. In front of him, diligently scrubbing at the spot his head had lay, was a half sphere little robot. He had made it himself not a week ago during one of his sleepless nights. It seems he had forgotten to turn in off yesterday.

Yesterday.

Thomas’s good mood drooped a little as he did a mental check of himself. The pain was gone from his abdomen, and the nausea just a bad dream. All that was left from his illness was a overwhelming tiredness. He leaned against his bathtub with a groan, feeling too weak to even consider moving for the moment. Whatever had made him sick had worked him over good. And he couldn’t figure out what had brought it on. He hadn’t been sick in ages, and just that afternoon he had felt perfectly fine. Though it was true he hadn’t been eating well at all the last few months, but he had remained in fairly good health until yesterday. With a yawn he decided it wasn’t worth the headache that was quickly forming and put it out of his mind.

Now, all he had to worry about was getting up and clean. He felt disgusting. His clothes were wrapped about him uncomfortably, and slightly damp wit sweat making him grimace. The taste in his mouth was just about the worst thing he could remember tasting. But before he could even move the phone rang brilliantly loud in the other room. He groaned quietly to himself, pulling aching limbs together as he struggled to his feet. Half asleep legs threatened to buckle under him, but a quick grab to the wall secured him long enough to get his bearings. He stumbled as quickly as he could to the still ringing phone that lay on his desk across the bedroom.

“ Hello?” Thomas whispered, his voice hoarse. With a flop he threw himself to the soft of the bed behind him. He was still so sleepy. He yawned into the phone.

“ Thomas?” The voice on the other end sounded amused, and very familiar.

“ Karl?” At once large green eyes were blinking into alertness in surprise. He fought off a yawn without success. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to wake up more.

“ Sorry Tommy, did I wake you?” The deeper voice rumbled with laughter.

“ What?” Thomas questioned as the roaring in his ears abated. “ What’d you say Karl?” He was sure that was his brother on the line, but he’d completely missed that last bit.

“ Forgive me Thomas, I didn’t mean to get you up soo early.” Some of the humor left the loved voice for the more common serious demeanor with a simple clearing of throat. “ I don’t have long to talk, and there’s some business to discuss.”

Thomas’ tired brain was left to catch up to the sudden change of tone at an unusualy sluggish pace. His brothers phone calls were always short and to the point, and he hadn’t called in three months, he had a right to be confused.

“ Yeah?” He muttered intelligently into his pillow, trying not to snuggle and pay attention, but he still wasn’t quite aware. Really should sit up, he thought, but couldn’t find the energy nor motivation to do so. What had Karl been talking about?

“ Thomas..” There was a heavy pause. “ Do you realize what time it is?”

“ Not a clue.” To be honest he couldn’t care less what the time was. His big brother was talking to him and he was very comfortable right where he was. “ You said early.”

“ Lieutenant, up, now.” Karl’s voice was that of Colonel Shubaltz now, completely and utterly commanding. Whatever joking quality he had momentarily acquired was now dismissed. “ It is almost noon, why are you still in bed?”

“ Sorry Karl. What’s up?” He rolled to a sitting position tiredly.

“ Thomas.” He heard a long suffering sigh from hundreds of miles away.

“ Sorry, sorry, Colonel.”

“ Better. Now, disregarding your sleep habits, I have some news for you.” Karl’s voice dropped in pitch to a somber roll.

“ Yes sir.” He quickly caught a yawn before it escaped into the phone.

“ Have you heard of the research being done at the academy?.”

“ Yeah.” Thomas nodded sleepily into his pillow, trying to keep up with the direction of the conversation.

“ Your being given a chance to participate in the venture. I don’t know the details, but they have requested a Guardian Force representation and you have the assignment.”

Thomas soaked the information in, everything finally beginning to compute.

“ But Karl, why are you telling me this?” His brother never got involved with these matters unless he had too. He bit his tongue too late. Why complain when the man was on the line with him?

“ That’s inconsequential.” Karl cleared his throat slightly in the pause that followed. “ I thought you might be interested in the experiments though. There should be someone there with the details shortly.” He paused for a long moment. “ Thomas. Perhaps we should spend a few days together after you return.”

Thomas felt his eyes were going to pop out of his head at any minute now and distort this lovely dream. He must have been sicker than he thought.

“ Yeah! Cool.” He knew he sounded twelve, but he could care less.

“ Right,” Karl laughed gently, still sounding rather out of his element. “ Thomas, go get up then.”

“ Yes sir, but don’t you…”

“ I’m sorry Thomas, but I have to go.”

He gripped the plastic harder, as if that could hold his brother to the other end for just a little while longer.

“ Right.” He hid his disappointment. He was fully awake now, and the conversation was over. “ Well, thanks for calling big bro.”

“ See you soon Thomas.”

The click of the other line was much too soon, and much too loud. He was sure that conversation had only just started.

Flopping onto his back, Thomas stared wonderingly up at the plain ceiling above him. Where had all that come from? His brother was not usually one for initiating things like that. He was the one who more or less dragged his brother away from his work to relax and spend time with him. Well, he wouldn’t complain this time or any time Karl decided to bring up something like that. His brother was finally coming back into his life, and he was going to enjoy it.

“ Mission.” Thomas groaned out tiredly.

He’d been wishing for something to happen around here for months, but now that it had all he wanted was for it to disappear. Snuggling backward into the comforter he decided his orders could wait. Giggles assaulted his throat for a few minutes. Irvine was sure to have a heart attack, or a fit, when he told him this. But, his mind was made up. He would check on his orders this evening, after he’d had lunch and rested a while. Irvine was going to break something laughing.

Two hours later, much cleaner and dressed, Thomas was feeling better than he had for while. Whatever had made him sick had passed through his system, leaving him kittenish in strength, and starving. He was eternally thankful that he had nothing scheduled for today beyond a simple maintenance run on his DiBison, and if he could make it through lunch he was sure he could still catch Irvine to do something. Steadfastly he ignored the twinge of guilt that sprang in his stomach. He wasn’t leaving until tomorrow, so his orders could wait. He would get some lunch later, his zoid came first for him. Then he would be able to come back and work on some of his projects. That would be relaxing and much less demanding of his tired mind and body then shuffling paper work would ever be.

The zoid bay was nearly empty when he reached it. He wasn’t worried. Most of the units had left for routine training that morning. That left the normally clatter filled garage eerily quiet. He was quick to remedy that, rummaging through his kits with exuberance he hadn’t been feeling too much as of late. He was leaned over a leg fiddling with a panel when a tap at his own leg nearly startled him into falling.

“ What?!” Thomas spun around once he had his feet on the ground, startlment written clearly in his movement. He came face to face with a grinning courier who looked amused at his ruffled state. The taller man reached out a roughened tan hand to steady him as Thomas swayed a bit. Regaining his feet, Thomas lifted his eyes to thank him for his assistance only to freeze in a wave of unease. Sharp brown eyes scrutinized the lieutenant with an intense, calculating gaze. A heartbeat later those eyes were a foot away and the look a memory. Thomas felt a wave of dejavou tighten his stomach. He could have sworn he’d seen the man before.

“ I’ve got a letter for a Lt. Thomas Shublatz.” The man presented the small envelope with a flourish then tipped his hat before walking away without another word.

“ Yeah thanks. Creepy.” He grumbled at the mans back, wiping at a grease mark on his cheek. He watched the retreating figure curiously, but quickly put him out of his mind in favor of a new mystery.“ Who would send me a letter?”

Thomas looked curiously down at the white paper, but no return address was printed. A spark of excitement burst in him and he ripped into the envelope with eagerness. Maybe Van had finally gotten around to writing him. You would think with the technological advances in the world today the guy could learn how to work a phone. He pulled the thin white sheets from the torn casing and delved into it. His smile faded with every word.

“ Irvine?” His voice sounded small in his ears.

The words joking and lighthearted, but the message was clear. Irvine had decided to move on. He had gotten an invitation from a couple of friends to join them in a little Republic town late last night. Having to leave immediately he had no time to say goodbye of course. Of course.

Thomas let the pages flutter to the ground, as he turned back to his zoid, not bothering to see if there was more. He shouldn’t be surprised should he? After all, Irvine was a mercenary, a wanderer at heart. This had just been a convenient place to park himself for a while. He couldn’t begrudge the man his freedom. All he had to do was ask and Thomas would have gone with him. He would much rather roam the globe with a friend then sit alone in a ‘proper place’. His gaze drifted toward the open doors and the expanse of land he knew lie beyond the walls. Already he could imagine thousands of stories to go with every setting he would see. His fingers itched to do something. Anything would be fine right now, writing, tinkering, and rewiring the whole damn place.

His wrench flew across the room to land against the far wall.

Almost immediately he felt guilty. There was no reason to get so mad. Irvine had every right to just up and walk away. Slumping onto the cool metal at his back he let the tension bleed out of his body. The air was heavy in the unusual stillness. The metal catwalks and cavernous halls seemed strangely deserted at this time of day. This place was just so empty sometimes.

The wind picked up the carelessly thrown papers from the concrete floor, two sheets fluttering away from the retreating feet.

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AN:: Everyone still with me?

Please tell me if anything here doesn’t parallel with “ In Your Memory.” I’m trying, but I’ve already caught myself going off on a couple out-of-tune trips.

Thank you very much!