Fan Fiction ❯ A New Door Opens ❯ Raven's New Look ( Chapter 2 )

Priestess: Well, I got reviewed, so I'm updating
Also, one of my friends pre-read this chapter and remarked on how I kept writing these stories where I changed the looks of at least two characters. She was probably referring to my Raven/Cyborg fanfiction Broken, but—again with the babbling.
Now, this chapter is a bit strange, because it encompasses a lot of things at once, but it could have been worse. Enjoy, everybody!

***

Robin sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the piece of paper. Raven…What was he supposed to get her? After what she had been through (or what he assumed she had been through) it didn't seem as if there was anything he could do to make her happy again—well, happier, anyway—but he couldn't not get her anything. Everyone else was going to get something!

Come to think of it, he wondered who had gotten his paper—no. He had to focus!

Sighing, he turned away, reaching for a glass of water. His eyes fell onto his extra mask, lying there on the table. Slowly, contemplatively, he picked it up and turned it over, drinking in every detail as if the answer was written there.

The mask makes me feel cool.

That had been something he had heard her say when coming back from his quest a few months ago. Looking back to the mask in his hand, his lips curved slightly. He had an idea…

***

Raven put down the pen, smoothing the paper and laying it on top of a pile of rough drafts. The paper was smooth already, a creamy sheet of expensive paper from her favorite writing set. The writing was lovely, the flourishes elegant. She had used her favorite pen, a luxurious eagle quill with strongly flowing ink that changed color as it flowed.

The poem itself she wasn't quite satisfied with—she wasn't good at love poems, only fatalistic poems about depressing subjects that weren't at all suited for Valentine's Day.

But it was better than the rough drafts.

Standing and stretching, she bent over and gathered said drafts. She threw them away and folded the final copy in half, putting it inside an envelope. But it didn't feel right.

Looking at it, she thought about what most people did with love letters, at least on television—sealing the envelopes with hearts, or spraying them with arousing perfume.

Raven didn't have any particularly sexy perfumes, but she did have that one bottle Starfire had given her as a birthday present…

Entering her bathroom, she picked up the tall glass bottle with a frown. Knowing Starfire, it would probably smell ridiculous. Taking off the fancy top, she sniffed it with some uncertainty. It smelled like roses and oranges. Raven, who herself smelled like lilacs and incense, didn't hate it as much as she expected to. Still, she felt rather strange, spraying the envelope with it.

Better than something she brewed herself from traditional Tamaranian herbs, thought Raven with a snort. Tucking the note into her cloak, she turned and went to the kitchen to make sure the person she was giving the card to wasn't in his room.

Robin was there, holding a small bag and pacing nervously, probably wanting to deliver his gift but not sure if whoever-it-was was in their room. Starfire was there as well, cutting a piece of red paper into a large pink heart. Lace and scraps of paper littered the table and the floor, and there was glue all over her hands and even some in her hair.

Starfire barely noticed Raven's appearance, but Robin did. "Oh, hey, Ray…van." She blinked at the pause before finishing the word. "Umm…have you seen…" he paused, eyes darting about. "Beast Boy?"

"Umm…no," she replied. "I think he's in his room."

"Of course. Well, I'm going to the gym. See yah."

The moment he was gone, Raven teleported out of the kitchen.

***

Reentering her room, Raven noticed that there was something lying on top of her desk. Frowning, wondering who could have gone into her room, she walked over and picked it up.

It appeared to be a mask, slightly similar to Robin's, but comprised of two black wings—like the wings of a raven.

Smiling slightly, Raven sat down and lifted the mask, pressing it against her heart as she walked over to the mirror. Holding the mask to her eyes, she scrutinized her reflection.

She decided she liked the look.

***

Hearing the sound of somebody knocking on the door, Cyborg went to the door and opened it. His jaw dropped. "Saracen?!" he yelped, eye (the human one) bigger than his head.

Bumblebee blinked. "Who?"

"Oh…Bumblebee!" Cyborg realized, his expression changing from one of shock to one of mortification. Saracen had had blue eyes, not hazel green ones—though hazel green was nice, too. "You…uh…got a new hairdo?"

"Yeah," she replied, lifting an eyebrow. She began to speak very fast. "See, Speedy and the Spanish…twin…people…are having these crazy parties and last time the place got trashed, so…can I stay here for like…a month?"

"Suuuuure…One second. Robin!" he called. "Get yo' butt down here!"

***

Raven looked at her birthday gifts. Beast Boy had given her some video game, Starfire had given the perfume, Cyborg had given her a book on Egyptian myths, and Robin had given her a pair of diamond earrings.

One by one, she picked them up. The video game was called Dawn of Destiny, and seemed to be about…all right, she had no idea. The perfume she would probably never wear, but she actually liked the smell. The book was fascinating, and she had stayed up all night reading it. The earrings were stunning, miniature starbursts of prismatic hues.

Turning them back and forth, she admired the flash of each glittering facet. Lifting one, she put it on, then the other.

Never before had Raven much cared about her appearance—never before had she thought herself to be anything but hideous. But now she felt the need to look different—she liked the dark look, but she did yearn sometimes to look more like Starfire, to have people look at her that way. The admiration of Spanish twins and odd villains she could do without, but then there were people like Robin…

Raven shook her head fiercely, trying to shake those thoughts away.

That isn't going to happen. But that doesn't mean I have to look like an old hag at the age of sixteen. (Just to let you know, I think Raven's beautiful. I wish she hadn't cut her hair, though)

***

"Sure, you can stay here," said Robin. "You're a Titan, too, after all. By the way, nice hair."

"Hey!" said Beast Boy suddenly. "Why don't we have her prati—parti—perticip—be a Secret Valentine?"

"It's pronounced participate," said Cyborg with a roll of his eye. "And…That's actually a good idea! We should mark a national holiday to celebrate your amazing accomplishment!"

"Valentine's Day is a holiday," Robin reminded him. "And I already gave my Secret Valentine a gift," he added, remembering all the time he spent making the mask look perfect. He didn't want all that to go to waste!

"As did I," said Starfire, glancing at Robin.

"Has anyone seen Raven?" Cyborg asked suddenly. Robin's face tensed slightly. This is ridiculous, he thought. When did you become so jealous? And of Cyborg! He isn't dating Raven—and you shouldn't care if he is!

"How about we just put our papers in the jar?" asked Beast Boy, who really wasn't happy about getting Cyborg. Just as Cyborg wasn't happy about getting Starfire.

"Fine. Bumblebee, write your name on a piece of paper and put it in the jar." Bumblebee shrugged and obeyed, then Cyborg and Beast Boy dropped in the pieces saying Cyborg and Starfire.

Cyborg reached in first, praying he wouldn't draw himself for the third time. Then Bumblebee went, then Beast Boy. "So," said Beast Boy. "Did anybody draw their own papers?" He said this with a distinctive smirk, glancing at Cyborg. The half-machine had had to draw three times before drawing something other than his own paper.

"Yes," said Cyborg calmly. "That is, unless you drew your own."

Beast Boy shook his head.

"What's going on?"

The Titans glanced at the doorway. Eyes went wide. Reactions were something like this:

Robin: Raven?
Beast Boy: Whoa
Cyborg: ::Whistle::
Bumblebee: Did she look like that last time?"
"Friend Raven!" shouted Starfire exuberantly, flying forward and embracing the sorceress. "You look amazing!"

"Can't…breathe…" Raven gasped out, and Starfire immediately released her. The other Titans continued staring, dumbstruck. Raven was wearing her normal clothes, actually, other than a pair of blue high heels, a black birdlike mask, and a pair of diamond earrings—she was just wearing them differently. The leotard was the same, but she had cut the hood from her cloak and wrapped it around her waist, holding it with the belt, so she had a skirt with a slit up the side. She had also washed the gray makeup from her face, leaving her with a complexion as white as snow, which contrasted beautifully with the gray mask.

"Does it really look that strange?" she asked, glancing at the boys. "You three look like you've just been hit by a truck."

"Yeah, a truck named Raven," said Bumblebee with a snort. "But really, you look good."

"Thanks," she replied, removing the mask. Robin immediately knew that giving it to her was a mistake: Her glorious eyes and flawless cheekbones shouldn't be hidden by anything, not matter how cool it made her feel.

"Do you think the media is going to say something about the costume change?" Cyborg asked, somehow managing to quit staring. "You know how idiotic they can be."

"Hey, I've already been accused of being anorexia and undergoing plastic surgery," Raven reminded him, sitting on the couch. "And what in Azar's name is wrong with my coloring?"

Robin remembered that discussion. The media were always out to get them—especially one bitch in particular named Bethany Snow, who used to go to the Hive Academy. He had no idea how anyone could insult Raven's coloring. It was beautiful. He shook his head hard, as if trying to shake out those corruptive thoughts.

Since when was he always considering Raven to be beautiful? But hey, even Bethany Snow had remarked that her features were 'perfect,' though she had used that as an excuse to accuse her of plastic surgery.

"Most people on Earth don't have purple hair," Cyborg explained, tugging a lock. Raven pushed the large metal hand away as gently as she possibly could, rubbing the hair herself.

"My mom had blue hair," she said, almost to herself. "Long, curly, dark blue hair. And blue-gray eyes. Other than that, she looked like me. Just less pale. And she was pretty."

But you're pretty, too, thought Robin, before shaking his head again. Stop it! You do not like Raven. You are just friends.

…

Right?

"You have a mom?" asked the ever-stupid Beast Boy, causing everybody to give him a strange look.

"Of course I have a mom," Raven replied, wondering why she had even brought her up. She didn't like thinking about her mom—she liked it even less than thinking about her father. "I have a dad, don't I?"

"Yeah, but who would marry him? He must have rap—"

"Shut up!" Raven shouted suddenly, causing everybody to jump as she leapt to her feet, furious. Lamps and windows exploded, shards of glass scattering across the floor. Beast Boy looked like he was going to pass out from fear, but it was Raven everybody was staring at.

She glared at Beast Boy, eyes flashing red, breathing hard, fists clenched so tightly blood seeped from her palms where her fingernails had dug in. Shutting her eyes tight against tears, she flew out of the room.

Bumblebee and Beast Boy were frozen in shock and terror, but Starfire and Cyborg immediately whirled on Beast Boy, yelling and screaming at him both in English and in Tamaranian. Robin glanced around at all four of them, then turned and ran outside.

***

Raven sat on her bed, sobbing helplessly. She tried to meditate, but she couldn't calm down enough to breathe, much less empty her mind. Memories she had spent years trying to block out continued to bombard her, and they were worse now that she had begun to let herself feel emotions than they had been when they actually occurred.

Jerking her head up suddenly, she cried, "Go away!"

"No," replied Robin, deciding he was feeling brave. Or suicidal. However you want to look at it. He entered the room and braced himself, half-expecting to get crushed or burnt to a crisp.

But all thoughts of his own safety vanished when he saw the weeping sorceress. He had never seen her this distraught, he realized, not even after her experience with Slade.

"Are you all right?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to her—blatant proof of the fact that he was so concerned about her he had forgotten to worry about dying.

Raven glared at him. "Do I look all right to you?" she demanded, and he flinched.

"Right…" he muttered sheepishly. "Stupid question." There was a long silence, painfully awkward, broken only by Raven's soft sobs. Finally, Robin dared to whisper, "Raven."

"What?" she asked, her voice sharp and tear-choked.

"Please don't cry."

She stared at him, her stunning face streaked with tears. It hurt to see her this way, in so much pain. Vaguely he noticed that there wasn't even the slightest smudge of powder or mascara, meaning that she wasn't wearing any makeup. How could anyone possibly be so perfect?

Fiercely, Raven wiped at her face, so hard her skin flushed slightly. "There," she muttered, though she still sounded teary. "I'm not crying anymore. Are you happy now?"

No.

No, he wasn't happy, because he knew she wasn't happy. A tiny voice in his head asked, since when did you care so much about Raven's happiness, anyway?

But he ignored it. Anyone would want their friends to be happy, right? That didn't mean he was in love with her.

……

Right?!

Raven was still staring at him, her gaze unnervingly intense. It was as if she was reading his very soul—and he knew that she could, too. He wondered if she was reading it right now, seeing the battle raging on within him. He wondered why the prospect didn't make him feel more nervous.

Then Raven looked away, her violet hair hiding her face. A single word shot from her mouth, hard and cold, but filled with a pain that others might not know her well enough to notice:

"Go."

***

Robin entered his room, much too nervous to go downstairs, considering that Cyborg and Starfire were currently attempting to kill Beast Boy the last time he checked.

Not that he doesn't deserve it…

He frowned, sniffing the air. Since when did my room smell like flowers and citrus? he wondered, walking over to the bed and noticing the note on the pillow. He picked it up, turning it over and over, but seeing no writing. He removed the note and unfolded it.

The first thing she noticed was how skillfully it was written, in many different colors, embellished with long elegant curls. The second thing he noticed was that it was a poem—a love poem, no less.

Then he began to read it, and his jaw went slack. Never had he read anything so beautiful. His fingers trembled as he folded it back up and pressed it against his heart. He could feel the thrum of his heartbeat through the note, as if the writer held his heart in her hands already.