Fan Fiction ❯ A Raven's Thoughts... ❯ A Raven's Thoughts.. ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Kinsha: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything else that is real mentioned in this fic.
 
Looking out on the waters below, I couldn't help but wonder, what if it had been me? What if I was the one who succumbed to the wrath of Slade? What if I was the one he targeted? Well, now I know how Robin felt with Slade constantly on his tail.
 
This is all my fathers fault. If he just hadn't raped my mother, if had just left her alone, none of this would have happened. Well, if I wasn't both cursed and blessed with these powers, I couldn't be on the Titans team. I'm not the type who enjoys running for hours on end, just to build up my stamina. Oh I'm sure I could become skilled in hand to hand, maybe even with arsenal. That would be my only way into this life.
 
I wonder, if I could change my life, what would I do? Would I become a regular child, going to high school, then to college, get married and have a family? I think I would just rid myself of this prophecy. That would be a way to solve everything.
 
Until then, I have my outlet. The others think that this cape is to keep my emotions hidden. They are only partly right. I use it to cover the scars. The ones from my father, the ones from battle, the ones from myself… I need to feel the blood, to see it to know that I do live, that I'm not just an illusion that was created. I don't think about it. Every other night, after we get home from the battles, or whatever other mind numbing activity they force me to do, I go to hide in my bathroom. My knife is in the cabinet, behind my womanly products. That is the only way to keep them hidden. If the guys ever came in, that is one thing they would never touch. Sometimes I go to deep, and end up making myself sick. The others think that I'm bulimic. Heh, if only they knew.
 
The only one I that would understand me is the Boy Wonder. Oh, he thinks he hides them well, but I can see them, the scars just visible from under the edge of his costume. He acts as though they are nothing but battle wounds and the others foolishly believe him. But I know better. I know where the veins run, how his scars are perfectly placed over the smallest ones. He wasn't trying to rid himself of anything the first time. You can tell they were his first by the soft pink color of them fading. But they will never completely leave. Oh no, he has chosen to do it, now he must survive his own actions.
 
Beast Boy is one of the people that can put on one of the most oblivious faces on, yet knows exactly what's going on. Starfire's isn't a face, it's her real self. That girl needs to take lessons on awareness. Cyborg is the only one who is exactly what he is. Even Starfire hides things from us. Cy comes right out and tells us what he's thinking. I think that we should all try to be more like him. Otherwise what will happen, Starfire's worst nightmare. What she saw, but none of the rest of us has a clue. She came back a little terrified that that could happen to those who share what she thinks is everything. But even she knows now that we don't tell everything. She saw the marks of my father before they faded. She knows what will happen now. And she is terrified.
 
I guess I am too. I don't want my friends to die! They, of all people, should live to be over a hundred. Knowing them, they probably will to. I want to see the beautiful sun rise, it set, casting beautiful shadows of red over everything in the city. But that shouldn't have to happen at night, at a blood red moon. They don't deserve to be turned to stone. No one really deserves that. But I can't stop it. It will happen, whether I want it to or not. Shit, I'm starting to cry. Time for my room, lest Starfire comes over here and sees me…