Fan Fiction ❯ Advice...LotR Style ❯ Legolas ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: SiriousB1 
You knew that he had a problem with Aragorn's greasy hair...
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.20.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 457 | Visits: 179 | Status: Completed
You knew that he had a problem with Aragorn's greasy hair...
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.20.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 457 | Visits: 179 | Status: Completed
Thank you to J for your character and question idea.
Dear SiriousB1,
Like, oh my god! There is this guy, right? He travels with me and these seven other guys. (No, we are not GAY, you crazy Hentais!) We are on a quest to destroy this beautiful, pure gold ring. (It is beyond me why ANYONE would want to, though. It's so, like, awesome!) But, anyway, this guy, right? He is, like, a big traveler man; they call him a Ranger. But, I hear that he is also a king. A KING! Isn't that, like, so cool? I'm only a prince, so I really look up to him! So, anyway, he's like, really cool and all, but he has one MAJOR flaw: he, like, NEVER washes his hair!!!! It is, like, so totally disgusting! I get the chills just thinking about it! His hair is so greasy, it's, like, so gross! His hair is slimier than, like, a dwarf stuck in the Dead Marshes! EWWWW!!!! Like, how can I get him to wash his hair? Well, it's, like, not JUST his hair. His whole body smells so totally rotten! I don't think any of my friends can even stand to go within ten feet of him! Please help!
Hugs and Kisses,
Sexy Blonde Elf Prince
P.S.
You KNOW you want me!
Dear Sexy Elf,
Um, that is really gross. That sounds like Professor Severus Snape two hours after he took a shower. You and those seven other dudes need to get him to take a bath! And I am just the one to tell you how...first, lure him toward a lake. Tell him that you want to camp by the water or something. Once there, get the strongest one of you to toss him in! Give him Dial soap, a sponge and a lot of Prell! I mean, if you want to you can strip him and THEN throw him in the water. But you have already indicated that you don't swing that way, so I figured that you wouldn't want to do that. I mean, if you change your mind you could, or if one of your friends really wants to see that, be my guest! Oh, by the way, if he tries to get out of the water, threaten that he'll never be able to reach even the lowest standards of a King. That should get him going! (That or that he'll never pick up a chick in his life...)
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
P.S.
Yeah, I know I want you...me and half a million other fangirls on this planet.
Dear SiriousB1,
Like, oh my god! There is this guy, right? He travels with me and these seven other guys. (No, we are not GAY, you crazy Hentais!) We are on a quest to destroy this beautiful, pure gold ring. (It is beyond me why ANYONE would want to, though. It's so, like, awesome!) But, anyway, this guy, right? He is, like, a big traveler man; they call him a Ranger. But, I hear that he is also a king. A KING! Isn't that, like, so cool? I'm only a prince, so I really look up to him! So, anyway, he's like, really cool and all, but he has one MAJOR flaw: he, like, NEVER washes his hair!!!! It is, like, so totally disgusting! I get the chills just thinking about it! His hair is so greasy, it's, like, so gross! His hair is slimier than, like, a dwarf stuck in the Dead Marshes! EWWWW!!!! Like, how can I get him to wash his hair? Well, it's, like, not JUST his hair. His whole body smells so totally rotten! I don't think any of my friends can even stand to go within ten feet of him! Please help!
Hugs and Kisses,
Sexy Blonde Elf Prince
P.S.
You KNOW you want me!
Dear Sexy Elf,
Um, that is really gross. That sounds like Professor Severus Snape two hours after he took a shower. You and those seven other dudes need to get him to take a bath! And I am just the one to tell you how...first, lure him toward a lake. Tell him that you want to camp by the water or something. Once there, get the strongest one of you to toss him in! Give him Dial soap, a sponge and a lot of Prell! I mean, if you want to you can strip him and THEN throw him in the water. But you have already indicated that you don't swing that way, so I figured that you wouldn't want to do that. I mean, if you change your mind you could, or if one of your friends really wants to see that, be my guest! Oh, by the way, if he tries to get out of the water, threaten that he'll never be able to reach even the lowest standards of a King. That should get him going! (That or that he'll never pick up a chick in his life...)
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
P.S.
Yeah, I know I want you...me and half a million other fangirls on this planet.