Fan Fiction ❯ Agony ❯ Chapter 1

A/N: So I wrote this months and months ago, intending to give everyone names when they came to me, but they never did. And I opened it the other night and read it again and realized, I like it this way. Its angst, obviously, and there's more to it, this is just all I've posted for now. Thoughts?

 

 

She could hardly breathe as another sob erupted from her throat. This can't be true, no. Please, someone tell me it's all a lie, a joke! Someone make it go away... She couldn't stand to look at anyone around her, although she vaguely knew they were looking at her, waiting for her to speak, give any indication that she had heard him. Go away, she wanted to tell them. Leave me be, I want to be alone. I want this to be gone.

Suddenly sliding out of the chair and onto her knees she began to shake violently, feeling sick. Someone had fallen next to her and wrapped an arm around her. The scent of lavender filled her nose and she knew it was her mother. Her mother held her, crying too, speaking soothingly to her. But she would not be soothed or comforted. Unable to control herself she let her head fall forward and she vomited on the floor. Several people jumped back as someone else pulled her hair back out of her face. The girl coughed hard, shaking even more. Breathing heavily, her vision became blurry. She squeezed her eyes shut, a few more tears leaking out. Finally, she spoke.

"Please." She began. Everyone quieted down to listen. "Please. Tell me it isn't true." Her voice shook so hard it was almost impossible to understand her. "Tell me you're lying." She whispered in agony.

The doctor in front of her looked down with the saddest expression on his face. He swallowed. "I'm sorry. They're gone. There was just to much-"

"No!" She screamed, and she began to struggle. Her mother tightened her grip on her, trying to control her. "No, you're lying! They're not dead! They're not! They are FINE!"

The doctor said nothing and she began sobbing hysterically. She didn't know that others were around her, strangers, watching this scene unfold. But she didn't care. It didn't matter who was watching, who could see her. Nothing mattered. What mattered was that somebody stopped this, this insanity. Someone needed to speak up and say, "Sorry, we've made a mistake, you're boyfriend and baby are fine. They aren't really dead, they're okay. Baby wants his mommy, he's hungry, and after he's in bed, you and daddy can have the evening to yourself. Snuggle up and watch nighttime television."

She looked up despairingly, pleading with her eyes to each person there to say it was all a lie. She could see her friends now, cheeks stained with tears. Most of them looked away and began to cry, but that only angered her. Stop crying, she told them inside her head. Stop it. Crying is for when something has gone wrong. And nothing has! They're alive, they weren't hit by a drunk driver! They went to the store for hotdog buns, that's all!

Suddenly her father kneeled down next to her. "Let's take you home, baby."

She shook her head violently. "I want to see them."

Everyone looked around uneasily. The smell of her own vomit was becoming too much to handle, and she shakingly got to her feel. Her parents both supported her, one on each side.

"Are you sure-" Her mother began.

"I have to see them." She stated, taking a shaky step forward.

And so the three of them walked, friends trailing behind them. Memories of her life with her boyfriend ran through her head a mile a minute. The first time they met, their first kiss, their first date. Their first time together, and the realization they were pregnant. They were both scared, but excited. They wanted to get married after they had the baby, because she wanted a big wedding that they couldn't quite afford. She remembered giggling girlishly when he gave her a plastic ring from a vending machine. 'I can't afford you the ring you deserve yet, so this is until I can.'

Slowly, step by step, they walked until they reached the operating room where the love of her life was. She went in alone, leaving everyone at the swinging doors. At an agonizingly slow pace, she shuffled forward, horrified at the sight before her. Blood on the floor, with one of his shoes dangling off his feet, the other nowhere to be found. Blood soaked sheets around him as he laid on the bed, his eyes closed and his mouth open, a tube sticking out of it like something from a TV show. His face was so pale and lifeless, so much unlike him. She reached forward and stroked his cold cheek, but recoiled instantly. t felt wrong, touching him, as he was always so warm to the touch. A nurse behind her told her not to touch the body, but she didn't hear it. She continued looking at his beautiful, unmarred face. How long she was there, she didn't know, but it must have been ages. Another nurse came in after a while and asked her if she wanted to see her baby. She nodded her head slowly.

Reaching over and taking his hand she said in a trembling voice, "I love you." Then, as if she was afraid he hadn't heard her she said louder, "I love you!" She leaned over and kissed his cold hand. Rubbing it against her wet cheek she sobbed, "Goodbye."

The nurse came forward and gently tugged her backwards. She allowed herself to be directed to a different room. There was a very tiny table in this room, and something with a blanket over it on top of the table. The nurse led her forward and told her she could hold him before backing away silently. Unable to do anything but look at the covered shape for such a long time, she finally slid the cloth back slowly. Her shaking hand dropped it to the floor and her breath stopped in her throat as she saw her baby. Blue. His skin was blue. An unnatural shade of blue, his mouth open in a small 'o', he was the saddest and most frightening thing she had ever seen. She didn't want to touch him, it was too scary. But then she realized, her baby must be terrified. Carefully she lifted him off the table and into her arms. "Shhh." She hushed. "Mommy's here. Don't you worry about a thing, mommy's here. And daddy's coming, don't you worry."

She began to rock him gently in her arms, singing songs to him. Before she knew it she was walking him around in circles like she did at night when he was fussy. Glancing over at the nurse, but not really seeing her she said, "He must be hungry. I think we've got some juice in the fridge, could you go grab that up for me, baby?" The nurse, startled, said nothing and didn't move. When she began singing to the baby again, the nurse assumed she had been talking to her husband like at home.

"There now, that's better isn't it? No need to cry, love, everything's okay. Mommy's here. I love you." Tears began streaming down her face. "I love you so much." She began to cry harder. "Mommy needs you to be a good boy for daddy, can you do that?" The nurse rushed forward to take the baby from her as she began to sob and shake again. Her mother ran in to take hold of her, hugging her hard and crying with her.

"Lets get you home now."

She allowed herself to be taken away, calling back to her baby, "Don't be scared sweetie, mommy will be right back!"

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