Fan Fiction ❯ Angel of the night ❯ Chapter 1

I “I still can’t…” The sentence ends in the soft sound of her sobs again. “You have to calm down Sara, dear. I’ll never understand what has happened if you don’t...” The sound of her mothers voice is so soft, so calm… it has always fascinated her. Years ago, she was still a child… “Are you still there, darling?” Now this voice pulls her back into reality and she begins to hate it. The daydream she wants to melt into is so much better then reality, in fact it is unbearable better than this night’s reality.

“I cannot explain it, mom. I don’t understand what happened tonight. I’m so scared; I’ve never seen him like this before.” And again the tears find their way through her trembling voice.

It is midday when she wakes up and she feels awfully cold but the raving inside seems to have gone silent. She has fallen asleep sometime during this night listening to the soft voice of her mother and drowning in it. She feels tired, her limbs ache from the uncomfortable “bed” she chose. She must have been very exhausted last night. Fell asleep right in front of David’s stereos in the middle of stacks of CDs, head-shaking she realizes that she had crushed several actually.

She gets up searching for her blanket to wrap herself up to protect herself from the cold. “Fresh air” she always does that, making decisions aloud. David loved most of her strange habits, but this one he really began to hate.

She loves no place in the apartment like the balcony. She sits down on the floor, David had never bothered to buy chairs or a table to furnish her little hideaway but it has never mattered to her. She likes sitting on the floor between the large planting pots, under the green leaves of her... A smile hushed around her mouth thinking about their little faked fights about getting furniture and the damnable question grows strong again in her mind: “What the hell happened there last night?”

It was supposed to be a good night. David had begged me for months to come and visit “his world” as he called it. And now I was on my way to meet him at his favourite club. Lisa, my best friend, sat there watching me, she seemed nervous –all jiggly- somehow. “Are you alright?” my voice was almost drowning in the shrieking sounds of the subway and the babbling everywhere around us. The train was crowded as where the pups and the clubs. It was Saturday night in autumn and the whole city -it seems- has decided to go out tonight. Suddenly I felt a hand shaking my knee: “Hey, are you even listening to me? Or are you just lost in your fantasy again?” The anger in Lisa’s voice was only played but it showed just how nervous she was. “So sorry, I guess ‘got lost along the stream of thoughts again. Are you OK, you seem kind of nervous.” “You know it’s not my world we are visiting today. I don’t understand these people wearing black all the time and being depressed all the time. You know that I will hate you for doing this to me!!” she said but her eyes where bursting with laughter and had this challenging gleam to them. I cannot resist her happiness, never could –it’s like an Ebola virus, spreading fast and unstoppable. So we were giggling all the way to the other end of the city. We both felt better with every passing moment, more relaxed and self-assured.

While we got closer to our get off more and more people on the train were wearing the typical gothic clothes, the black colour as a must, capes or coats and a big deal of eyeliner to underline their depressed mood. We suddenly felt that we didn’t belong there. We were dressed in black and used a lot of make up, but we knew we didn’t belong to these creatures and so did they. We got off with these dark creatures and made our way to the club. We were laughing a lot as we got there, peeking out of the crowd like transvestites in a cloister- just in an opposite direction or maybe not?!?

David was standing outside and despite of the coldness, that had conquered the nights already, he was standing stiff and silent. He did not even recognise me as I was just feet away. He seemed to be somewhere else. David is not like me, I always lose my way wandering in my own thoughts, but Davi?! I was standing right in front of him when I slung my arm around his neck and gently forced him to bow down for a kiss. He was completely shocked to be touched and bagged off. Only then did he realize it was me and his face went through a really amazing transformation to a self-conscious smile and his eyes went down in shame. I had caught him doing something I should not know about but before I could finish this thought he was holding me, kissing me, washing away the world around us.

The whole evening it was not my guy lingering at our table -on Lisa’s demand it stood in a corner of the room so no one could come from behind and get her. He barely followed our conversations and he didn’t present me to all his important friends, whom I only know from his fantastic tales. He even left us alone there in the corner a couple of times.

We were about to leave –I hadn’t seen David for more than an hour and I couldn’t make Lisa stay another minute. As we crossed the room to get to the exit David ran across the room. He really ran screaming and shouting. It sounded like “Bloody fiend” and “Monster”. Suddenly many people were screamingly trying to get out of his way. Chaos was breaking its way into the crowd and right there in the starting hysteria I saw her, the girl he was running to, the girl he was cursing. She was so petite, she seemed so vulnerable in her white wedding gown, totally lost in the darkness of the other creatures around her. This moment seemed to stretch endlessly. I thought about stopping him but something was disturbing my concentration… This girl… something was very wrong about her.

Her skin… she was too white even for a Goth, and it wasn’t some kind of wired make up, she was practically gleaming in the darkness and dampness of the overcrowded room and her eyes…..
………………….
Her memories break away, she is seeing the world through a curtain of tears again. Why did he attack this girl? The officer, who had tried to calm her, told her that they would take David to a mental institution, that he would be alright, that there would be people who care for him… She wanted to look into his eyes, she wanted –she needed to understand, but they wouldn’t let her. They asked so many questions, questions that she wasn’t able to answer, everything was so confusing, she broke down in tears…
………………….

The gleaming girl, who seemed to be so fragile between all those black cloaked people, was lying on the floor against a wall.
Everywhere little black creatures were leaning against the walls, crying softly or bitterly, some were just sitting there shocked and terrified.
They were guiding David to one of the police cars as he called my name, he wasn’t completely insane, was he, wasn’t he? Lisa took me into her arms trying to stop my raving, trying to calm me down, destined to fail.
…………………

A single tear falls down from her chin exploding on the back of her hand, waking her from the memory again. The doorbell is ringing in the absolute horrible tone of cheap doorbells –the ringing sounds angry to her, it almost frightens her. Then –pressing the button to open the front door- she begins to realize how late it is and that whoever is ringing that damned bell probably has done it for quite sometime -long enough to lose patience. The feet running upwards the stairs to their flat get faster and faster. Finally it is her mother throwing the door to the side and hurrying into the room. The soft voice of her mother filling the room, she doesn’t understand what this voice is telling her but she cannot care less for the meaning of those words –she is safe now. Safe.


II “They are late, why can girls never be punctual.” Damn it, he is speaking to himself again and he is doing it loud and -even more horrible- in public! He feels the cold slowly crawling up his legs. ‘Why does she have to be late tonight?’ He is so excited, his girlfriend Sara would be here tonight. She would see the world he had grown up in for the first time.
He first came to this club when he was fifteen, oh that were times. He had rainbow-coloured hair then –well one colour after another, so no real rainbow. He has become a grownup, he is 28 now, thirteen years have past and he has changed a lot, he has a well paid job, he is planning on marrying Sara and most of all he has become much less radical in his opinions and the ways to express them.

It has taken him months to make her come here. He cannot believe it is really happening. When he has shown pictures of her to his friends, they have said that this girl would never come here, that she would never understand the darkness in him. He has said that they do not know her and that they are just jealous. Oh, jeah he is so proud of her. He has never thought that he can get a girl like her, so pretty, so lively, kind, lovely and thoughtful. To him she always has been God’s masterpiece, well at least if there is a God. He is not too sure about that, but she is though.

The first weekend at the house of her parents was kind of an Odyssey for him, in a way that he didn’t know what’s to come next. They had separate bedrooms, which shocked him more than he would have admitted. But when her mother woke him on Sunday morning at eight o’clock for breakfast and CHURCH, he was unable to contradict. What should he have said, that he didn’t believe in God’s existence. They would have never understood his opinion.
That neither Sara can ever really understand and accept his view on the world and his opposition to religion, he has always been unable to grasp.

There were moments in the last three years with Sara when he began to understand that there would always be a cliff between them, that their opinions may differ too much, but he has always been good at ignoring unpleasant things in his life.

He is still standing there outside the club and it is one of these moments –as she lets him wait there in the cold- that he isn’t so sure about their relations-s-s-s-s-s-sss
Wow, what is this!?! He is still standing on the pavement before the discotheque as a woman all wrapped up in her black cape comes around the corner. Her fingers are hidden by fine velveteen gloves and the hood of her cape is hiding her face. But something draws him to this woman and as she walks down the street towards him, he gets little glimpses of her hidden beauty. Now and then the light of the street lamps finds its way to be reflected by the pure white skin of her face. The gleam to this skin seems almost unnatural, almost demonic! He can see the fine line of her red coloured lips. Now she is lifting her face to see the people who are crowding the pavement and he gets a very short moment when he can see her face fully, before she turns her head to the entrance. Her eyes are gleaming even more demonic in the twilight of the disco lights than her skin. He is lost in her eyes, drowning in his own thoughts in his desire, in the promise of an ending for his loneliness.

Lips against his lips. Come back to reality! He frees himself from holding arms. It is Sara, standing there, her eyes full of disbelieve and surprise. What did she see? Does she know what he did? The thoughts are losing order in his head, losing direction. Did she understand what she saw? A shameful and very small smile, a short look to the ground, she didn’t notice anything, does she???

He takes her in his arms and kisses her deeply to scatter her suspicions, she wouldn’t know. Lisa is standing there, this devilish gleam in her eyes as she is watching him, every gesture, every bit of information she is collecting in her mind –she knows it, doesn’t she. Lisa has never liked him, once she even said it to his face, she believes that he isn’t good for Sara, they wouldn’t match. She distrusts him, he never had a taste for women like Lisa, so self-assure, so independent, so strong. So just a short informal seeming hug for her and getting away from this woman as fast as possible.

They are finally leaving the cold, going inside, diving into his beloved darkness. Lisa chooses the table, last corner before nowhere. She is afraid of his friends. In the past she has made really dump jokes about Goths, another reason for their tense relationship. Now her fear gives him strength, he is actually smiling to himself, silently. He won’t have to fear her attacks tonight, not here not now. They are talking about some girl themes again, how really unspectacular. He cannot think about anything, but this woman… gleaming, demonic, mysterious, gorgeous… the adjectives coming to his mind all seemed kind of unfitting for this woman. She is everything and much more. The eyes…these eyes starring at him from under the hood, watching him, tasting him.

The conversation themes of his female company become even more boring to him, so he gets off buying something to drink for them and searching for his angel of the night.
That’s how he’s going to call her from now on Angel of the night, his Angel of the night.
And there she lingers. A white wedding gown was hidden under her black velveteen cape. It is one of these big day gowns. Her small waist all wrapped up in a tight corset emphasising her breasts. He cannot imagine that she is able to breath in this piece of cloth, so tight it looks. Below the corset her gown widens into a multilayered skirt, which is softly shifting with her every movement. In the twilight of the room the air around her seems to gleam, to sparkle with the light that is emanating from her. She’s really glowing from the inside, not just reflecting every bit of light scattered in the room.

Now he can really see her black lined eyes, they are like vampire eyes -as he imagines them- of a red and violet glimmer and they are gleaming in the darkness alike the eyes of cats. He marvels there in the middle of the room at this mysterious woman for minutes or more, watching her as she is talking to others, watching her feline moves, her graceful, ringed fingers, her expressionless eyes, like they are dead already, like she feels nothing.
Suddenly more and more details of her gestures seemed to express an unknown sadness, like she had lived far too long and was despite of it always alone. Like him she can stand in an overcrowded club and be all alone, feeling a sadness inside no one else will ever be able to understand. She is like him, or is he like her? Is this the reason she came here tonight? Was HE the reason she is here tonight? Did she know she would find her soul mate here? These thoughts begin to circle ever faster, soon building a storm of thoughts in his head that makes him dizzy.
He has finally managed to get the drinks for his guests still thinking about his night time angel. As he is moving through the crowd she watches him, his angel really watches him! A soft smile playing around her thin lips, her eyes still expressionless.

“Have you seen Ms. ‘I’m so special’?” Lisa voice is dragging him from his thoughts, away from his angel. “Whom do you mean?” his automatic answer, without expression, without interest, Sara isn’t there- alone with the devilish one-damn it. “The white one in her wedding gown. Gathering the whole crowd around her like she is some kind of goddess. Maybe the moon goddess, that would fit your world interpretation, isn’t it so?” Lisa has gained a lot of her self-esteem back while he was away and there it is again that knowing, devilish gleaming in her eyes. “Oh, that one. Never met her, don’t know her. In fact she is kind of new here, never saw her here.” He tries to conceal his excitement from her. Now he knows that she has realized what’s going on, but he won’t make mistakes now. He just wants to satisfy his curiosity, he just wants to know more about this woman, isn’t that true. He doesn’t think that she can replace Sara. No! Never!

But somewhere deep down at the bottom of his soul he does have the thought that his angel will make him complete, that this strange woman can end his solitude and that’s something -he knows for the longest time- Sara can never do. She makes him happy, because he cannot bear that he can make this wonderful human being be unhappy. He loves her a lot. But desire has never belonged to their love. And desire it is what is crawling under his skin. And desire is his angel’s second name!

“I’ll be right back” he says while turning his back and leaving again. He cannot stand the questioning eyes of Lisa, he doesn’t want to see the worries and anger rising in this tempered woman. He is a little afraid of her moods and about her ability to destroy his relationship with Sara and if he can do nothing else, he won’t wait there watching the disaster coming unable to stop it.

She isn’t there where he left her. Damn it! He begins searching for her again. It cannot be that difficult, can it? An all white woman in a black clothed crowd, shall not be difficult. But actually she isn’t anywhere. “She has gone. She has deserted me”, comes it to his desperate mind. He cannot breath, something is strangling him. He has to get out of here.
Fresh, cold air. He can breathe again but his heart -the real one in his chest beating on and on, unimpressed- feels like torn apart. He leans against the wall, breathing hard, losing grip with this reality.

There is something in the dark, moving, clothes shifting, a whispering voice… her voice –HER voice!

He slowly moves towards these sounds and there she is. A boy standing against the wall –she has him caught. Prisoner of her arms, holding him. And like a fairy tale beast, like a vampire from one of his beloved films she is feeding on him.

His heart stops beating, finally. All this years he has known it, he has believed it and there not even ten feet away stands the proof. He cannot see her face –it is hidden by the boy’s hair, she is burying her teeth into his neck. She is killing him. Oh my God, and she’s doing it right in front of me, for me, my love, my dark angle. The boy is breathing hard, his hands on her back trembling in waves of beloved pain loosing their tension, soon he’ll lose consciousness, he is going to die the same way the Jews kill their animals. The blood pressure in his brain will decrease and he’ll be dead very quickly I can’t believe this is happening I cant believe i cant i cant he ran inside again have to calm down have to get a clear mind clearness in my mind she really is killing killing humans killing this boy killing him without regret i regret though leaning against a column in the middle of the room he starts to speak out these words she comes in again from the door walking past david walking to the backside of the room shifting sounds of her skirt filling david s ears her voice softly whispering killer killer killer in his head you are the killer not me heisscreamingnowbuthisscreamsdrowninthebasedrumofthe
playingmusicbeginn ingbabblingbeginingshakingalloverlikeleavesinautumnstormshastostopherhastos topthekillinghastohastohastomustmustSTOP
…………&# 8230;……

No one has noticed his raving and now he is running across the room screaming at his dark angle, cursing her, condemning her. No one can stop him, fear blows them all out of his way. His body hits hers, he is taller than she is, he has so much more strength, she’s stumbling backwards, falling already, falling against the wall, she can feel his brutal grip as he falls with her, pushing her towards the wall, even now that she is falling. Her head is too close to the wall, now her head hits the wall, an imagined silence is disturbed brutally by the cracking noise of her breaking neck, splintering bones, the most awful sound in the entire world. The pain is exploding in her spine spreading through her body leaving it at the borders of her flesh and being transformed, crawling back to her heart in form of the eternal darkness, she isn’t afraid, she feels peace is coming within the darkness, a peace she has never known in life, the darkness crawling to her core is death than, is eternal peace, is salvation finally.
………………..

Emptines s in his head, no memory of what has happened, no clue where he is. He needs to get up, it’s a desperate wish, but why he doesn’t know. As he begins to move he realizes what the cause for this wish is, layers of satin and tulle moving noisily around a fragile dead body lying beneath him. Panic gaining hold of his mind: Get away. Someone is holding him, there are ambulances and police cars. He is taken to a police car. “Sara!” his voice sounds strange to him. She had cried, she’s breaking down crying again as he calls her name. But something is completely wrong with her… her eyes tell a story of unbelievable terror and fear, still she is strong, she‘s coming to him. There is a police officer who suddenly takes hold of her shoulder, “You shouldn’t go to him, he’s maybe dangerous, we’ll take him… He does not listen anymore, he wants her in his arms make her and his own trembling stop with a single gesture:” I need you, I love you.” And there she is, wherever Sara is, this beast isn’t far: Lisa. She lays her hands around Sara’s neck, like I used to, taking Sara’s head into her hands, pressing it gently against her shoulder as my beloved one starts to cry bitterly again.


III “These jerks. I will never get rid of them, will I?“ Lila, Cassie and Tyler sorrowful agree to my exclamation. Even I recognized the idiot who has watched me ever since I came to the club tonight. It wasn’t too difficult even for someone who is almost blind! “I really would like to get my hands on one of these fucking ….. If I just were a little bigger, a lot stronger and a great deal braver than I am! Well and of course, if this place wouldn’t be so full of eyewitnesses!” They begin to laugh. They always do when I begin to exaggerate my anger to the point where no one can take me serious anymore. But it’s true I really hate it to be watched like an exotic animal in the local zoo. I am a human being like everyone else, except for this jerk and all his companions. I guess they are the animals in our human zoo, mentally disturbed objects of medical interest. I have albinism, I am a victim of my DNA. “What excuses do they have for their inappropriate behaviour?”
“Calm down, honey. You are not really interested in whatever others think about you, so why care for their stupidity?“ Tyler tried to get me down to mother earth again. He is my rock in the rough sea of my life, he keeps me steady and safe.
“You noticed that he was out there, watching us, our little game, don’t you?” I tease him.
“He was wh….
Tyler’s voice drowns in the raising noise of screaming and rushing people, suddenly someone throws him aside, grabbing my shoulders, I stumble backwards and begin to fall, Tyler screams something, his voice terror-stricken, pain explo