Fan Fiction ❯ Antics of Starfire ❯ Pudding ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or any of the characters associated within. Unfortunately.

The Antics of Starfire

By funvince

A Teen Titans Fanfic

-Chapter 1: Puddings-

It started out so normally.

Starfire spun around the Main Room, her hands coupled in glee.

"Friends, we must celebrate our defeat of Mod the Mad! I will go and make the Pudding of Happiness!"

The Titans cringed.

Robin rubbed the back of his head. "Um, Star? Why don't we just get pizza?"

"Oka…" Starfire started to agree then she paused. A slight frown appeared on her pretty features. "Robin, why is it every time I suggest creating a food from my home planet we end up eating pizza?"

Robin looked helplessly at his teammates. This wasn't going according to the script.

Beast Boy spoke up timidly. "Dude, to be fair, you forced the Pudding of Sadness down all our throats at some point and it was pretty terrible..."

Starfire was so shocked that she was forced to land. "The Pudding of Sadness is supposed to taste terrible. That is what makes it so sad! It is, as you say, 'food to fit the mood.' "

A hurt look came over her face. "That is why you avoid my cooking? You have assumed that all Tamaranian food is... bad?"

"Star..." Robin said, concerned.

Starfire raised her green, glowing eyes and clenched her fists. "You have maligned the cuisine of my home! You must be shown the error of your ways!"

The alien girl flew out of the room.

Beast Boy turned to Cyborg and asked, "Should we be scared?"

The kitchen area was closed off for the next two days as non-stop banging and blending sounds emanated from it. Beast Boy and Cyborg were reduced to trying to raid Robin's personal fridge while the Boy Wonder fought them off and lectured them on the importance of being prepared for anything.

"Shut up, Rob! We're not all paranoid nutcases like you!" Cyborg cried.

"Yeah, that's the way to butter me up," Robin retorted sarcastically. He forced the android back with a twirl of his bo-staff.

A green mouse took the opportunity to race for the door to Robin's room.

Without even looking, Robin threw a flash disc over his shoulder.

FLASH!

Beast Boy slammed into a wall. He shifted back to his normal state and covered his watering eyes. "Dude! That was cold. We're starving, you tyrant!"

"I don't even have any tofu!" Robin snapped. "Why don't you guys order a pizza?"

"We don't have that kind of patience! Why won't you just give us some food?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you!"

Raven, who was fed up with this nonsense, went to the kitchen. She saw Starfire frantically stirring a bowl. She was wearing a pink apron and a matching chef hat and she was covered in flour.

Raven resisted the urge to shudder at the cuteness. She said, "Starfire, it's becoming Lord of the Flies out there. Please tell me that you're almost done."

"Fear not, Friend Raven! Soon we will feast like the outdated monarchy and the boys can leave the poor flying insects alone."

Staring doubtfully at the purple sludge the alien was stirring, Raven made one last attempt to convince her friend that this wasn't the best idea. "Why is this so important to you? None of us was trying to hurt your feelings, you know."

Starfire sighed. "I know. But if I can eat Terran food then surely there must be something from my world that I can share with my friends."

"Star, you drink mustard."

Raven's violet eyes were met by green, soulful ones. Starfire said, "All of you are my best friends and I am always joyful to learn more about your culture and customs. I just wish to educate you more on mine."

The blue-haired girl drew her cloak around herself. She said, "Very well. But I don't intend to participate. I hope you aren't offended."

Starfire's eyes widened. "Oh, I would take no offense. I would be content merely with your presence. I would not wish to upset your emotional sensibilities. I know that any attempt to 'scribble you out' causes you to become... um..."

"Bitchy?" Raven suggested.

"I do not see what female canines have to do with the matter," Starfire replied, confused.

Raven smirked.

~*~

"No fair!" Beast Boy wailed. "Why does Raven get to live? Uh, I mean, miss out on the delectable delights?"

Cyborg snorted. "Nice save, man."

Starfire ignored the commentary and passed out the bowls of purple sludge. She stood back with a beaming smile and clasped hands. "Enjoy the Pudding of Happiness!"

"Looks good," Robin said with a smile. He discretely stuck a R-analyzer into the bowl to determine the chemical composition of the sludge.

Beast Boy whispered, "Anybody know an animal that doesn't have any taste buds?"

Cyborg whispered back, "I'm just glad that I literally do have an iron stomach."

Starfire's smile became a little strained. "Friend Terra never had any problem with my food."

"I'm pretty certain that Terra ate bugs too," Cyborg replied. "She had weird taste, y'all." He gave a pointed look at the green changeling next to him.

"Hey!"

Raven glared at the boys from behind her cup of herbal tea. "Isn't it a bit premature to complain before trying it?"

"Easy for you to say!" Beast Boy cackled.

Robin who was tired of the bickering and worried about how depressed Starfire was looking threw caution to the wind and pushed his friends' faces into the sludge.

Then he sat back down and ate a spoonful.

Beast Boy pulled his head out of the bowl and gasped for air. He waved his arms frantically and cried, "I'm melting! Melting!" Then he blinked, scraped some pudding off his face, and sucked it off his finger. "Hey, this is good!"

"It's like a rainbow in my mouth!" Cyborg exclaimed, shoveling the contents of his bowl down.

"Glorious! I am most happy that I no longer feel like causing you grievous bodily harm," Starfire said, smiling with her eyes closed.

The other Titans, even Raven, grew a sweatdrop.

"Looks like we owe you an apology," Robin said, waving a spoon. "I'm just surprised that it took you two days to make this."

Starfire giggled. She said, "No, that only took half of a Terran hour. This took the rest of the time."

She yanked the fridge open revealing shelves bursting with bowls and plates.

The three crime-fighters had the sinking feeling that not everything in the refrigerator was going to be 'glorious.'

"Your planet sure has a thing for puddings," Beast Boy said weakly.

It wasn't so bad at first. Just as the Eskimos had at least a dozen words for snow, so did the Tamaranians have at least 60 variants of joy and a pudding to go along with it.

The Pudding of Delight was... well, delightful. Such was the case with the Puddings of Elation, Pleasantness, Glee, and Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy.

Starfire accidentally mixed up the recipes for Pudding of Friendly Love with the Pudding of Lustful Love, which contained a mild aphrodisiac and caused a few minutes of great discomfort for everyone involved.

The Pudding of Unbridled Enthusiasm caused Raven to look intensely at Starfire then at Beast Boy before she enveloped the bowl in black energy and threw it out the window. When asked to explain her actions, she proclaimed the pudding to be evil and refused to say any more.

But for the most part, these culinary creations were quite tasty and generated much laughter and happiness.

Then came the less cheerful puddings.

The Pudding of Anger had Cyborg and Beast Boy arm-wrestling over who would be forced to eat the last vile scoop.

"No gorilla's going to beat me!" Cyborg grunted while pushing his opponent's arm down.

Beast Boy turned into a green hippo and pinned Cyborg to the floor with one leg.

"No fair! I call foul!"

The Pudding of Disgust had the team vomiting in the barf bags that Starfire had helpfully provided.

The Pudding of Curiosity had a strange taste to it, which prompted Beast Boy to ask what was in it, ensuing further vomiting.

Looking greener than usual, Beast Boy gulped then asked, "Star, isn't curiosity supposed to be a good thing?"

Starfire shrugged. "There are actually two versions. My understanding was that on Earth curiosity was a hazardous thing. Does it not cause the death of many felines?"

The Titans actually looked forward to having the Pudding of Forgetfulness if only to forget the taste of prior puddings, but Starfire had forgotten to make it.

Everyone was too frightened to eat the Pudding of Fear. Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg loved Starfire, but nothing could make them eat something that gave off a sickly green glow and seemed to move when they weren't directly staring at it.

Finally, Starfire announced that there were no more puddings to be consumed. The male Titans gave huge sighs of relief.

"Oh, wait," Starfire said, tapping her chin with a finger. She turned toward the fridge. "There's still the Pudding of Impotence."

WHOOSH!

"What just happened?" Starfire asked the remaining occupant of the table.

"I think you meant Importance," Raven said in her usual monotone. But she couldn't quite suppress the twitching of her lips.

"Oops," Starfire replied with a blush. "My badness. Oh well. More for us, yes?"

"You're not fooling anyone, Star," Raven said with a slight grin. Then she paused before asking uncertainly, "Is there really a Pudding of Impotence?"

Starfire nodded. "Sometimes a woman just wants to sleep. Or so Mother tells me."

Raven glanced at the kitchen entrance. "I'm sorry that this didn't turn out the way that you planned. Maybe you should have stopped after the joyful puddings."

Starfire shook her head. She said, "The point was to teach them about Tamaranian culture. We believe that to experience the full extent of joy requires encountering some unpleasantness. If they had stayed for this pudding, they would have experienced joy again. But I'm sure they were quite happy when they were escaping."

"They were positively ecstatic," Raven said dryly.

"They stayed much longer than I thought they would." Starfire smiled broadly. "I have such great friends."

The alien girl held the bowl out to the other girl. "Can I interest you in a small taste of the Pudding of Importance? Or would that unbalance you?"

Raven took the bowl. She said, "It should be no problem. I always feel important. And yet the Tower is still standing."

Starfire giggled. Then the two girls enjoyed a nice bowl of pudding.

~*~

NEXT: All the Titans except Starfire come down with a serious fever. Our favorite alien's now in charge of their care. Will the Titans survive? Will Starfire?

Author's Note
This chapter was inspired by my wondering why aliens never have any problems with Earth food, but we humans apparently have weak stomachs when it comes to more 'exotic' fare.