Fan Fiction ❯ Attack of the Care Bears ❯ Chapter 8

Wind: I'M BLUE. DA BA DE BA BA DIE BA BA DE BA BA DIE-

 

Le: STOP OR BE HURT SURVEARLY!

 

Wind: T-T Ok.

 

Boromir: YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE IDIOT!

 

Wind: LOOK A FLYING RICE PATTY!

 

Boromir: (lookes) WHERE!?!

 

Wind: Hah, you's dumber then I!

 

Le: (wacks both) Idiots

 

Frodo: So, I'm evil now?

 

Le: Yep.

 

Frodo: Cool.

 

Wind: @-@ Ouchies.

 

Le: Start the story.

 

Wind: Fine, but first- (grabs a mike) I GOT A SPECIAL CONTEST GOING HERE! FIND THE HIDDEN QUOTES IN THIS STORY YOU WILL GET A CYBER PRIZE! (basically just to make you feel good) SO READ AND REVIEW RIGHT NOW!

 

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The remaining members of the Fellowship sat with the Council. The greatest minds of the age came together trying to figure out what to do.

 

Elrond rises his hand and waves it like a little kid, “ I say we drop large rocks on them!”

 

Random Elf looks at his lord and states, “That's just stupid.”

 

“It's not stupid,” Elrond said looking smug, “it's advanced.”

 

Sam looking slightly stoned stares at his hands” Dude, my hands are like, huge.”

 

“Sam, have you been smoking Gandalf's pipe?”

 

“What's wrong with my pipe?” Gandolf asked while petting his beloved pipe.

 

Aragorn snorted a laugh, “That aren't fooling anyone.”

 

Sam who had been watching them like a tennis game started giggling, “ Noo~” he falls on his face with his butt in the air.

 

“No more pipe for you.” Gimli grabbed the pipe and put it in his pocket.

 

Gandalf sniffled at the loss of his beloved pipe of questionable contents, “We should hire the undead army of moldy cheese monsters to fight them.”

 

Legolas looked outraged, “What type of priest are you!”

 

“I'm not a priest.”

 

Legolas scratched his head, “Oh yeah. Sorry, blond moment.”

 

Pippin suddenly bursts out of floor holding a spoon and a lobster, “Finally we made it! Come on Elvis.”

 

Elvis does his little lip thing, “Right of man.”

 

Boromir, “Didn't we banish you to the Spam Balls?”

 

“Oh, I quit when I found out about this.”

 

Elrond looked scandalized, “You quit being banished?”

 

“YEP!” Pippin had a big smile like this. ^_^

 

The others shrug their shoulders, not really caring “Whatever.”

 

Suddenly a big screen appears.

 

Aragorn points excitedly…it seems that they are having a kid day here, “LOOKY! A RANDOM FLASHBACK!”

 

Legolas holds up the popcorn over his head, “GOT THE POPCORN!”

 

The flashback starts to play. We see Aragorn and Legolas sword fighting in a barn full of swords and a donkey. Yay a donkey!

 

Aragorn looks at all the swords in awe as he rides a moving pillar, “Who makes all these?”

 

Legolas attacks him, “I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!”

 

Aragorn looks unimpressed, “You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?”

 

The screen disappears up into the ceiling again

 

“Wow that was stupid and pointless.” Merry said while picking his nose.

 

Elrond starts screaming.

 

Boromir to Arwen who appeared, “Is your dad feeling alright?”

 

Arwen flaps a hand, “Yes, he's perfectly fine.”

 

Elrond's arm flies off and writhes on the floor a little bit. Boromir starts screaming like a little girl.

 

Arwen, “Nothing to worry about, my dad lost his arm in the . . . the war.”

 

Elrond starts yelling to the heavens, “That was my squeezin' arm. They took my squeezin' arm! Why my squeezin' arm?! Aaaarrggaahhh!”

 

Two spies run into the room.

 

The first spy comes up to the group, “Ma`ams, I have good news and bad news.”

 

Pippin looks up, “What's the good news.”

 

Spy2 smiles like a stupid fairy man, “The good news is, I named my nickel Phillip.”

 

Merry looks confused, “Uh, what's the bad news?”

 

Spy2 yells, “It's a girl nickel!”

 

Spy1 slaps the second spy with a sausage, “The enemy army is about to move on the last eggo.”

 

Everyone gasps in horror “Not the eggo! Those monsters!”

 

Everyone runs out while Gimli stands in place for a second, looking at the sky. “There's something that cannot be expressed in words, human emotion. Emotions of the heart can't be just tucked away in a closet. There's a way to know the emotions. Look into the eyes. The girl lied to me, and I believed her. The gentleman lied to me, when I trusted him, but the moment I looked into his eyes the angel of destiny began to unravel the truth. Just look into their eyes. There is only one truth.”

 

The random elf is back again, maybe I should name him… “Deep, but you stole that from the previews of a show you quote thief.”

 

Gimli waves his rubber ax around, “SHUT UP PIXY!”

 

The elf just shrugs, “Whatever.”

 

~~

 

Frodo stands at the front of an army of evil plush toys, ordering little evil animals around, “Go get me a tuna sandwich!”

 

One of the toys, a little green dog, runs up with knife, “You are no commander, you are a threat to the mission! Your methods are stupid, your intelligence is stupid, your progress has been STUPID! For the sake of the mission, you must be terminated!”

 

Frodo thinks for a moment with a pained expression, “How about I give you a pixy stick instead?”

 

The dog shrugs, “Works for me.”

 

Frodo, “Sweet. NOW! LET'S GO!!”

 

~~

 

The evil care bear watches the approaching army.

 

ECB chuckles, “Don't be hasty, now. I intend to obliterate every last trace of mankind eventually... so why must you rush the inevitable?”

 

The army yells up, “Cause you're a stupid stuffed animal that no one likes!”

 

ECB, “Grr.”

 

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YAY! There ya go. Ok I will be nice and tell anyone that reads this that there are nine quotes in this fic. Tell me what you think and try to find the quotes.