Fan Fiction ❯ Beneath Angel's Wings ❯ Stage 5: The Angel of Crossroads ( Chapter 5 )

Proem

And I'd give up forever to touch you

`Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am…

*~*

Beneath Angel's Wings - Stage 5: "The Angel of Crossroads"

*~*

Sleep was a very precious thing, especially to Johan-Lee Gauthier. He treasured it almost as much as he did the boy who slept beside him every night. But this sleep, however, was one that Johan wished to awaken from as soon as possible. Something, somewhere on the distant horizons of his mind troubled him- something seemed out of place.

Eyes opening lazily, he turned to his left as he came out of his fog. Perhaps it was nothing, he though to himself as his eyesight came to him. Even so, something told him he needed to talk to Christopher right away.

"Chris…??"

It didn't take long for Johan to abandon the bed when he found the space beside him empty.

*~*

The bathroom door slammed shut behind him, followed by Chris slamming up against the shower stall; his breath racing; heart pounding in his chest. Every piece of his body trembled as he wrenched off his pajamas, stumbling into the shower with just enough skill to keep from falling flat on his face. Soon, the soothing flow of hot bathwater crashed down against smooth, flawless skin. The beat of water droplets striking him eased his shivering frame, sending it slowly into a heap on the shower floor.

All the while his mind buzzed with static and images. That…that thing…he had seen it in his dreams, seen it come for him. Chris had had these dreams many times before, but it had been some time since one had plagued his mind. It was the first night since he'd met Johan, in fact, that the Angel once more visited his fragile mind.

It was loathsome and vile, and even though it was physically similar to Christopher, the strength it carried under such a beautiful exterior was horrifying. Flesh was pulled almost impossibly tight over muscle and bone; its face devoid of any look of human compassion. And its eyes…its eyes burned with an internal fire, glaring in shades of orange, yellow, and crimson as it tore through the soul of whoever it cast its gaze upon. Wings of fire and lightning carried it into the heavens, where its mighty voice would bellow with a deafening and animalistic roar.

Every night that he would dream of this monster, the dream would be the same. Chris would try to run away, the Angel hot on his heels, only to in time succumb to its strength. Up it would carry him, kicking and screaming with all the fury his frail body could muster, until they would disappear from the sights of everyone below.

Chris dragged himself to a corner of the shower, curling up into a fetal ball. Shivering despite the humid warmth, he laid his head against his knees, sobbing softly. All he wanted was to live in peace, he would whisper to himself. To live like a normal young man, without some monster hanging over his shoulder.

"Go away..."

*~*

The apartment began to look as though a tornado was at work, Johan ripping open doors and banging on anything he could try and get the boy's attention. His eyes scoured the place for notes, his ears pealed for any stray sound that might provide him some clue. But still, nothing. The apartment was exactly as he and Chris had left it the previous night, and it was fairly clear that no one had left the place recently.

Then again, Johan thought to himself…but then shook his head. He couldn't of run away again, could he? As remote as the possibility seemed, especially after the progress he had made with the boy, he couldn't help but wonder. Greg had warned him multiple times of how fragile Chris's mind was- that even the slightest thing could set off a chain reaction that could result in catastrophe. Johan had paid little heed to the warnings before, but lately…

Just as he began to slide into recollections, the softest of noises caught his ear. It was extremely faint, almost so much so that he couldn't figure where it was coming from. But its sound was unmistakable, one he had heard once before. Without thinking twice he jumped back into the hall, throwing open the door to the bathroom.

"Chris?!" he cried softly, shocked by the sight of his love curled up in a ball in the shower. "Chris, what in the hell…?"

The boy looked up at him with vacant eyes. "Him," he said simply, "I saw him again. He came back…"

Johan's mind was beset with confusion. Opening the door to the shower, he shut the water off and entered, kneeling by Chris's side. "What…Chrisy, what are you talking about…?"

"Him. Engel." Chris's reply was sharp, sending a shudder down Johan's spine, even if the young man understood naught of what the boy was trying to tell him. "He came into my dreams…he tried to take me again, just like he used to…Johan, don't let him ta-"

Warm, dry arms wrapped around Chris, pulling him close to Johan. "Hush now," he whispered through damp locks of gold hair into Chris's ear, "Hush, calm down." He dare not say a word for a moment, simply cradling the boy close. All at once Greg's warnings began to once more ring through Johan's mind. Concentrated mental effort was enough to put the messages out of his mind enough to deal with the crises at hand, however. "Just take your time speaking to me Chrisy…"

Slowly, Chris looked up at him, locking gazes with Johan's emerald eyes. Thin, pale lips trembled as he gathered the strength to answer while at the same time restraining the chaotic flow of emotions crashing around inside his mind. "Engel…" he repeated, the mere utterance of the word seeming to send a fresh wave of shivering down the length of his body. "Engel…the…the monster…The Angel of Crossroads…"

The boy once again paused, sucking in deep breaths as one of his arms struggled to lift itself up. Johan's eyes followed it all the way up to the frosted glass of the shower wall, going wide with what they finally came to rest on. "Th…that…" Chris's voice shook, pointing to the scrawl he had drawn on the fogged up surface.

There, drawn on the glass, was the rough image of a distorted human form. Its hair was done in wild line that encircled its face, its eyes two menacing points of light. And arching away from its back were lightening-like lines that formed six magnificently awful wings, with a tail reaching down as a seventh. Releasing his hold on Chris, Johan lifted himself up on unsteady, shaking legs. Even though the names Chris was continuing to stutter were as foreign to him as the languages they were spoken in, one thing remained horridly clear.

This was the thing he had seen in Greg's scrapbook/notebook. This was the monster that had torn apart the battleship Cylis. And now, for whatever reason, is was assaulting the mind of the boy that meant so much to him.

Two strong hands reached down and lifted Chris up, helping him out of the shower. "Come on…" Johan said to the boy, leaning him against the wall as he dressed Chris in warm towels to dry him off. "We're going to get this all sorted out…we're going to get this taken care of…then there'll be no more bad dreams, no more of this Engel thing or whatever it's called. Okay Chrisy?"

The boy simply nodded before falling against Johan. Getting rid of that horrible beast would be very nice right about now…

*~*

Greg rubbed his wrists up against his eyes, yawning loudly in case Johan hadn't noticed his sleepy and irritable state the last few hundred times he'd berated him for waking him up so early. "You'd better," he snapped as they set foot inside the apartment, "have a damn good reason for getting me up so early."

Johan didn't even need to answer. Greg nearly fell flat on his face when he saw Chris sitting slouched over in the middle of the sofa. The boy was dressed back in his pajamas, hastily thrown on his body with Johan's help, but looked as cold as he did a mere half hour before. His eyes were large and blank, regarding the two of them as though he were trying unsuccessfully to focus on a particle of paint on the wall.

"I can't believe you actually took him home…" muttered Greg, approaching Chris slowly, blinking several times to assure himself that his senses weren't deceiving him. "All this time I thought that maybe this was some kind of elaborate prank you had sucked me into…but now…now…"

"Yeah, that's all fine and dandy, whatever." Johan spat, glaring at the young man he had once regarded as a lover. "Unfortunately that tells me jack shit as to how I'm going to get Chrisy back from La-La Land here."

Kneeling down in front of Chris, Greg studied him carefully, trying to see if the boy would actually respond to him. "Give me a minute. This is all very delicate. God knows how badly you screwed the kid up fucking him senseless…"

It took all of two seconds for Greg to be jolted with the sharpness of Johan's voice. The sound knocked him over, almost sending him crashing onto the immobile young boy who was the subject of both their grief. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" cried Johan, picking Greg up by his shirt. "Do you think I'm so damned stupid I'd try something on him? Do you think I'm that damn insensitive?"

"No, but I think you're that damn horny."

Johan's hands relaxed, dropping Greg against the floor. "Fair enough. But if it makes you feel any better, Christopher Kessoku is still very much a virgin. Now if you quit lobbing around accusations and get to the problem then maybe we can all go about our happy lives again."

Not a word was uttered between them as Greg turned back to Chris, looking the boy right in the eyes. "Christopher…" he whispered, trying to calm his voice after fighting with Johan. "Christopher, can you tell me what you told Johan this morning? In the shower, I mean."

The boy's reply was swift, and yet there was something painful to hear in the sound of his voice. "Engel," he replied simply, his eyes never once moving off of Greg's face. "I have seen…the Angel of Crossroads…I saw him in a dream, just like I used to."

Greg could feel his blood freezing in his veins. "Is it…is it who I…" stuttered Johan from behind him, the sound of his voice bringing Greg back to his feet. "Is it who I thought it was?"

A nod. "It's exactly who you thought it was. But I don't know why the hell you called me in here. I know what it is, but not a whole lot else. There's nothing I can do that would cure Christopher's nightmares. What do you want from me, Johan?"

Johan leaned backwards, falling into a slouch as he sighed at the news. "I don't know. I just figured you'd be the best person to go to. Seeing as you probably paid more attention than anyone else in this city to this fight or whatever it was…I thought that maybe, if you could talk to him, that…"

Much to their mutual surprise, their conversation was interrupted by the squeak of the springs inside the sofa. Chris stood on his feet, slumped over slightly, but sturdy enough that he didn't look as though a slight breeze would throw him across the room. "Why…" he began, his voice hoarse from disuse, "Why do you…why do you care so much about my fight with the Cylis…?"

The question came as a shock to Greg, who stood dumbfounded as he tried to mash together an answer. "I…I suppose…" he stuttered, "Ah…Well if anything, I guess it's because of this Angel…thing…whatever it was. It was such an unusual fight, curiosity made me want to find out as much as I could."

"So…I am a test subject…a lab subject…"

The two young men blinked, jaws hanging open slightly. Where was Chris getting these bizarre ideas from? "Hey, look," Johan stammered, moving towards Chris, a gentle, if uneasy, look on his face. "Chrisy, Greg's just trying to help you. That's really all it is. Okay?"

Chris shook his head. "I do not want to be a test subject. I do not want to be part of someone's examination or study." His gaze darted from Johan back to Greg, locking onto the young man like a guided missile. "You will help me get rid of the Angel, or you will let me live in peace. That is all I want."

"Chris…"

"I am afraid." Chris's voice seemed to tremble, looking back and forth between the two, falling almost into a sort of rhythm as he spoke. "I am…terribly afraid. I do not understand what this thing is or why it haunts me or anything like that…I…I just want it gone…I don't want to be afraid…"

A firm hand gripped Chris, followed by the familiar warmth of Johan's embrace. "I'm willing to help you," answered Greg, standing a few steps back from Chris as Johan comforted him. "But you have to understand that no one knows anything about what the Angel of Crossroads is. All we have to go by is what we saw in that fight. And frankly, half a year later the best I can do is guess at random."

He approached, brushing one of the longer locks of Chris's hair away from the boy's face. "If none of us can understand what the Angel is, then there's nothing anyone can do to help you. The longer you try to avoid discovering the truth, the more pain it will cause you and anyone else around you. Do you understand?"

Chris sank into deep thought. His eyes fixed themselves upon Johan, and in the back of his mind he could almost imagine the Angel ripping Johan limb from limb. Screams of unbearable, terrible pain rattled though the boy's skull as his beloved's blood splattered like streaks of red paint around him. His knees gave out from under him as he imagined this, saved from hitting the floor only by Johan's embrace. Chris's eyes slammed shut, trying to fight back whatever Johan might see lingering beneath their frigid surfaces. "I…" he began, collecting himself as he stood again. "I understand…"

"Alright. Johan, I'm going to head home…after I get some sleep I'll gather together what I've got and mail it over to you. Maybe it'll help, or maybe it won't. I don't know. If anything it'll give you a place to start. In the meantime…in the meantime do whatever you think might help." Greg pulled in a deep breath as he finished. "Just be careful, okay? The both of you, be careful."

They barely got out a nod of agreement before Greg departed, leaving them both standing in silence. Neither of them moved a muscle, a pair of frozen figures in the middle of a room that seemed a few degrees colder than usual. Neither of them knew what to do or where to go or what to say. And both of them, for their own reasons, feared the chance that they might say the wrong thing at the worst possible moment.

At last the silence became too much for Johan, who stepped back from Chris ever so slightly. "Look…ah…" he began, his voice shaking slightly. "Chrisy, I was thinking…maybe…"

"…Breakfast…?"

Johan nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking." Which it wasn't, really. But cereal, toast, and orange juice sounded like a far better alternative to asking anything about the dreaded Angel of Crossroads right this moment.

*~*

Water and dishwashing liquid crashed against ceramics as Johan stood at the sink, cleaning up his own dishes. Breakfast had gone quieter than usual, both absorbed in eating their meals instead of their usual random chit-chat. Back at the table, Chris tapped his spoon against the plate holding a half-eaten slice of toast, seeming as though his mind had drifted out to sea. "I think…" he finally spoke without turning from his meal, "I think we should call school…call in sick…"

"Yeah…" Johan answered, as lost in a daze as the boy. "We probably should. I…I can do that once I'm finished." As soon as the last syllable exited his mouth, he turned once more to the task at hand. His hand clenched an orange juice glass half full with soapy water, swirling the end of a rag inside it with two of his fingers. Any other day and he would of maybe snickered or laughed at the images such an action conjured up. Any other day and he would make some kind of dirty comment just to see how badly Chris would blush. But today, he thought to himself, unconsciously tightening his grip, he just couldn't find it in himself to make any jokes today. Even if he could…Chris didn't seem…

His thought halted in mid phrase as the fragile glass shattered in his grip, digging several small cuts into his palm. Blood ran forth and instantly stained the wash water a pale red; a sharp cry of pain ripped through the room, jolting Chris out of his daze. The boy stumbled out of his chair, racing over to Johan's side.

"Johan…?!"

The young man looked over at Chris, shaking his head. "No, it's alright…" he sighed, holding his palm open in case some of the glass had stuck inside. "Go get the first aid kit from my room…it should be under my bed. Bring that out here and I'll clean this all up…fucking hell, I'm so stupid sometimes…"

Chris gave a slight shake of the head before taking off down the hall, disappearing into their bedroom. Johan hung over the sink as he waited, flinching every time he moved his hand. Looking carefully at it, the wounds themselves seemed to be free of glass. They were deep however, and his hand would probably be useless for a couple of days, if not a week or two. Sighing in frustration, Johan leaned forwards, resting his head on the cabinets that hung over the sink. The damned Angel had already caused him pain, he thought to himself with a sick, pained laugh, and he didn't even have to lay hands upon him…

*~*

Shita Tenshi no Uxingusu - Beneath Angel's Wings

*~*

"Gah…watch it, not so tight with the gauze…Ow!"

"I'm sorry Johan, I'm sorry…"

At the very least, the injury had gotten them talking again. At least, they would talk between Johan's cries of pain. And even then, much of the conversation would revolve around trying to properly wrap the cuts of Johan's hand so they would hurt the least. "I told you, you should of put more lotion on my hand…ow…ow!"

"If I put any more on your hand, it would hurt more. Creams and open wounds aren't a very good combination."

"I know that! I just…ow!" The sharp pain in Johan's palm was soon joined by a stinging in his lip, a sensation that sent another flurry of muttered curses flying. "Sonuva…I can't believe I just did that…"

Chris looked up from his medical handiwork, studying Johan's face. It was the same as always in the physical sense. Yes, his hair and his eyes and the features of his face were the same, but underneath all of that…beneath the surface something seemed different. Chris had never seen Johan this high-strung or nervous before. It was understandable with everything that had happened so far that morning, but even so…even outside of the trouble Chris had caused for Johan, something still seemed amiss.

"Johan…" he began, finishing the bandaging carefully, "You're worried about something…"

Johan blinked. Nothing Chris had said all morning seemed to connect to anything else, and now…? "Of course I'm worried. You ran and hid in the bathroom and had a nervous breakdown. What do you expect?"

"I know, I know…" His head bowed, Chris looked at the hand he held in his. The cuts had formed a series of red blots in the gauze, but it had already stopped spreading. His mind couldn't help but jump back to the gory image of the Angel mutilating Johan. Pushing such gruesome thoughts from mind, he steadied his voice and continued. "I just…I feel like you're holding something back…"

"I…"

"Johan, I've faced a lot of pain before. It's nothing new to me." The boy's eyes studied the pattern of blood that marked Johan's bandages, tracing them in random order over and over again as he spoke. "So if you have to say something to me, no matter how unwelcome it might be, it's for the best that you just say it. Believe me."

The wounded hand drew away from the cradle of Chris's palms, retreating back to Johan's other hand. "Chris…" he began, mustering up the will to speak his fears. But at the critical moment something in him faltered, shutting him down again. "No, no it's nothing."

"It's something." Johan's hands found themselves surrounded by Chris's; long slender fingers closing around his shaking palms. "It's something, I can see it in your face, your eyes, I can hear it in your tone of voice. Johan, just say it."

A long, awful pause, followed by Johan's soft, quaking voice. "You…the Angel…The Angel of Crossroads looks like you, Chris. I can't help but see it…I can't help but notice it now, after this morning…"

There had never been a longer silence between them in the weeks they had known each other.

Chris seemed to shake as his hands slowly released Johan's from their grip. As much as he was used to it, every reminder of the bond he and that monster seemed to share was a stinging blow to his soul. And hearing it from Johan…well, hearing Johan mention that beast at all was something he had hoped he would never face. But it had come, and now…what could be done? He couldn't confirm or deny any suspicions his dearest might have- even he, the epicenter of all of this, knew as little as anyone else. All he could do was confirm the statement of fact.

"Chris, I want you to know…even if…if it's possible that…" Johan's voice shook, trying to force out words of understanding as quickly as his mind could string them together. "Even if it's possible that you might be…that that thing is…"

"Johan…"

Words ground to a halt as Johan stared at Christopher, face-to-face with the boy's unsettling pale blue eyes. Slender, smooth hands touched his cheeks, holding the young man's face gently. "Johan…" he began, speaking slowly to prevent the emotion of the moment from rending him incomprehensible. "Johan, I know this is hard…I know you never wanted anything to do with any of this. But I promise you…I promise you with all my heart that I will never, ever let that monster hurt you. Okay?"

"Chris, I don't know if I can trust you…" began Johan, his expression almost disconnected from the words that came out. Immediately though he realized the intensity of the words he had spoken and stuttered out an apology. "I, I mean…it's not that I don't trust you per se, I just…I…"

Chris's words came back, a twinge of sadness in the air he formed into speech. "You're afraid I'll lose control someday. That you'll do something to upset me. And then…and…then…"

"Chris, don't think about it. It won't happen..." Johan's embrace was tight, pulling Chris down on top of him, not completely realizing what he was doing. He could feel the softness of Chris's breath on his face, sending a thousand shudders racing down his back. Every conscious effort he could make was directed to keeping at bay the arousal the boy's proximity. "I…even if it does…I'll forgive you…I know it's not your fault, that it's…"

Chris seemed to float above him, locks of long blond hair falling around Johan's face like a silken curtain, or- of all the inappropriate analogies he could think of that moment- a halo of the most brilliant and blinding light. And in the middle of it all was the soft, pale, muted colors of Chris's face, broken only by lips of the softest of colors and his shimmering, beautiful eyes. And all the while, the gentleness of the boy's each and every breath felt like the coolest of breezes. "Chr…Christopher…" he whispered, losing sight momentarily of the images that so haunted him all that morning, only to be silenced by the boy's sweet kiss.

Instinctively he drew Chris closer, sliding his hands up under the back of the boy's shirt. In an almost lucid state he could feel his fingertips tracing up the contours of Chris's back, pausing momentarily on the wounds that stood opposite their twins on the front of the boy's body. Cold sweat began to run down Johan's face, his shivering amplified every time Chris's lungs emptied warm air on to him through the boy's thin lips.

Chris looked down in wonder, as dazed as Johan at what was happening. It was his doing of course, but he had no idea the reason behind it. Regardless of what it was, the look of fear and resistance on the young man's face was enough to wake him to reality once more. "What am I…?" he cried out softly, stunned by his own actions. Hastily he began to sit up again, only to find himself halted by Johan's touch. "Johan…?"

"Don't worry about it…" the young man whispered, drawing the boy down until their faces nearly touched. "Chris, I don't want to force you into anything…especially if your mind isn't all here…but if you want to, no, if you need to…then I'll do anything if it'll make you feel better."

Chris's response, however, was a complete surprise. The boy slowly sat up again, guiding Johan's hand around and up the front of his slender frame until they came to rest over the wounds that had caused them both so much grief that first night together. "Don't worry about any of that. You hurt me so badly once, touching these…" he spoke almost too softly for Johan to hear, pressing the young man's fingertips against the sensitive flesh of his scars. "But that was because I was scared. And now…when you touch me…I just want to get away from this fear, I just want to…"

They turned and moved atop the sofa, Johan pulling Chris with him carefully till they were once more face-to-face. "Then don't say any more, Chrisy…I'll make it all better soon…even if just for a little while…"

*~*

The room was soon filled with sweet, heavy sounds of ecstasy. Such bliss, coupled with the sight of Christopher's body lying out underneath him, was like a drunken dizziness to Johan. Buried under such baggy clothing, Chris gave an unassuming appearance, one of someone who was fragile and far too small for what he was wearing. But reduced to the natural, the truth was quite surprising. The young Kessoku was no weakling- his soft, unblemished skin lay over slender muscles that seemed to hide an almost intense power in their unassuming appearance. Johan murred delightedly as he traced the tip of his tongue over the beautiful form he held so close- even if some degree of guilt continued to burn at the back of his mind.

Chris, however, paid such guilt no mind. Or anything else for that matter, except for the touches and caresses Johan gave him. He could feel himself slipping in and out of some dreamlike state, but even so he was far from drowsy. It was only the outside world that seemed to sink in and out of existence for him- every detail of what Johan was doing to him registered vividly in his mind, producing an array of passionate sound that he never imagine himself capable of. A warm pair of lips took hold of every little taste of his flesh they could, kissing and playing with every single inch of his body.

His mind shattered into uncountable fragments, however, as Johan proceeded downwards. All at once his breathing began to race, gasping out loudly as his heart began to pound within his chest. Sensations unfamiliar to the boy began to race throughout his body, eliciting a drawn out groan from his lips. The sharpness of such a sound pulled Johan away from Chris, stroking and massaging warm flesh as he looked with a pang of fear at the boy's face.

"Christopher…" he whispered, only to find the boy's shivering hand brushing against his cheek. Such gentleness made his words trip and shake as he spoke, trying so hard not to tighten his grip as he had with the glass. "If you're afraid…I…"

Chris's head turned to him, his eyes looking through a haze up at Johan. "D…don't stop…please Johan, it's so nice…so good…I don't want it to stop yet…" he interrupted, reassuring the young man just as another shiver raced up his back, forcing Chris to look away, tilting his head to one side as a soft moan slipped past his lips.

"Chrisy…please, if you're afraid, I can't…"

"I'm not afraid Johan…I'm…not…" Chris's voice seemed light-years away from his body, a distant wavering of sound in Johan's ears. "Just don't stop yet…please…"

Johan hesitated for a moment, looking over the boy. Part of his mind continued to fight with him, telling him how wrong it was to take advantage of such a fragile soul at such a delicate time, how heartless it was. But at the same time, another part of him asked him to look at Christopher as they made love. This wasn't the sight of someone who had been backed into a corner against their will. This was the sweet, desperate pleading of a soul longing for the ultimate in closeness with another. Slowly, he lay down again, throwing his fears and worries to the wayside as he allowed the sweet heat of Chris's body and the passionate cries of the boy's voice to envelope him completely.

Those sounds grew louder as Chris felt Johan's lips wrap tightly around him once more, encircling hot, untouched flesh with their smoothness. Unconsciously his hands pressed into the fabric of the sofa cushions, fingers digging into the pillow-like material. And all the while, he could feel Johan's hand petting him down the side of his body, reassuring in its gentleness even as Johan grew more and more intense in devouring the boy's virginity, stripping away Chris's innocence with every stroke and motion of his lips. The energy gripping Chris grew wilder, becoming a buzz of sensual electricity that grew stronger and stronger with each passing second.

Faster and faster they raced, twisting and turning to follow each other's movements. They were perfectly synchronized, and yet in this perfection they had crafted there was an intense chaos that surged through the both of them, pushing them recklessly onwards. Chris's body strained, stretching out underneath Johan as a low, deep pulse began to build within him. Every movement of Johan was like fire, shattering every nerve it came in contact with as Chris's vision began to blur into a maddening array of color and form. His voice grew sharper, breaking into louder and louder cries, gasping out Johan's name as reality slipped away into an all-consuming brilliance that swallowed up his field of vision, exploding into a blinding light as all control over his body collapsed around him.

"Johan…Johan!!!!"

*~*

He didn't come to again for several minutes, a length of time that felt more like an eternity to the both of them. Johan relaxed considerably when he saw Chris's eyes open slowly, as though he were coming out of a dream-filled sleep. His smile was a gentle one, his arms a cradle for the young boy to lay in. "Welcome back," Johan whispered, leaning over to kiss Christopher as he drifted back to awareness.

"I…ohh…" replied Chris, still dizzy and feeling adrift. "The hell…?"

"I think, for lack of a better description, I popped your cherry…" came the young man's answer, followed by a shaky, embarrassed laugh- one that Chris couldn't help but join. "I mean," he continued between fits of quiet giggling, "it'd certainly explain a lot of things if I'm right."

Chris's face turned into a slight grin, eyes focusing upon Johan's face. "Like…like how wet your face is, maybe…?"

Pausing for a moment, Johan freed one of his wrists, drawing it against his cheeks…and promptly burst into another fit of giggles as cool drops of Chris's seed were spread over the back of his wrist and hand. "Ah…" he began, a slight red blush creeping over his face. "Well, yeah, that'd be one of many things…but what could I say? You were just…just…abso-fucking-loutely great!"

"Johan!"

"What?" The blushing had cleared itself, Johan's inner confidence reasserting itself. It was Chris's turn to feel embarrassed now, unable to and unused to imagining himself in such a sexual way. "You think I'm lying to you? Why should I lie to you…Chris, I couldn't tell you how long it's been since I enjoyed sex that much…"

Chris's eyes focused upon Johan, suddenly looking almost blank in their gaze. "Even if you were scared to?" he asked, his voice bearing a remoteness not of ecstasy, but of something entirely different…

A long pause hung in the air between them. Immediately the emotional high they both rode fell back to earth, reminding them of what had brought them into such passion. Chris's words cut Johan like a knife, almost knocking the young man back against the wall with their force. The reaction was instant, and enough to send ice shaking through the boy's spine. "No, never mind…" he whispered, pulling Johan down to lay on top of him. "It doesn't matter…not at all…"

"Chris, please…" muttered Johan, his face pressed against Chris's chest, eyes glazing over as he once again fell back to the reality of what they faced together. "Of course it matters…Chris, this isn't about me just being horny and needing to screw something, this is…I was…Chris, damnit, if you didn't want me to keep going you should of just told me…"

"But…Johan…"

"It isn't love if I forced you against your will, Chris," he stammered onwards, slipping out of Christopher's grip. "I mean…for god's sake that's rape, I can't fucking deal the thought that I…"

"Johan…"

"Look, let's just get some rest and…"

"Johan."

Johan's train of thought ground to an immediate halt, stopped in its tracks by the intensity in Chris's voice. But this time, however, instead of seeming cold and detached from reality, the boy's power seemed to be drawn from some fire within, one that set the crystalline-like colors of his eyes aglow. "You didn't force me into anything Johan. I told you that before I let you lay hands on me, and I'll tell you it now. I wasn't lost in the moment when I said those words Johan. I wasn't desperate…or maybe I was, but not in the way you worry I was. I knew exactly what you were doing to me." He cradled himself close to his love, wrapping a long, slender arm behind and around Johan as he drew himself to his side. "And Johan…I loved every second of it…"

"But you were…you…Angel…thing…"

"You made the Angel go away, Johan…even if just for a little while."

Slowly, Johan's eyes went wide. He had defeated the mighty Angel of Crossroads so simply? "I…?"

"Yes dear," Chris whispered, pressing the lightest of kisses to Johan's cheek. "You did."

Johan surrendered himself to the calm of the boy's presence at his side, sighing in relief. "Then…" he whispered back, pulling Chris up onto his lap, resting his head against the curve of his neck. "Heh…I never thought I'd be a hero…"

Chris laughed softly as he slipped into sleep, his body completely drained of energy. Yes my dear Johan, he thought to himself as the world faded away around him once more, you are…and hopefully…you always would be.

*~*

It was hours later before Johan left Chris's side, leaving the boy to a deep sleep as he moved over towards the door. He hated having to do this, especially after everything…Especially when Chris needed him this badly. But just as badly as his warmth and presence were needed, answers to the questions plaguing them both were also necessary. Otherwise, Johan told himself as he picked up the envelope, they might never get to be so close ever again.

It was a plain envelope, with no writing on it except for his name in the center, printed neatly. From Greg, he told himself…the mail does tend to move fast here. But the young man had never had a sense of legible writing, and yet carefully penned, crisp black letters stared back up at Johan. Leaving the entry way and the mail slot, Johan merely shrugged to himself. He would ask Greg about it later.

Sitting himself cross-legged on the floor, Johan pulled the contents of the large envelope out on the floor in front of him. Newspaper clippings and other random bits of paper spread out before him, scattering across the floor as they end over end in the currents the building's air conditioner spat out. He paid little attention to these though- Johan's attention instead focused on a thin set of papers, bound in a plastic cover with a variety of emblems printed on it that were remarkably incomprehensible to Johan. If this was Greg's work…

His head shook side-to-side in short arcs. "Gotta focus…" he whispered to himself, trying hard to not wake the sleeping boy behind him as he opened the cover, not knowing at all what to expect.

"I cannot begin to describe," the document began…an official report of some sort. A second glance at the heading at the top of the page clarified, at least partly, the origin of the document: it was the post-battle report of the commander of the Cylis. "I cannot begin to describe the experience of my crew and myself in our most recent fight. When we were informed of how poorly equipped the Zarya was reported as being we knew to suspect something amiss…however, we never expected that events would play out as they did."

"For the most part, however, I feel I can safely confirm that the being that attacked my ship was not an conscious action of the Zarya or her pilot. Analysis from our observations of the Zarya prior to her sudden restart is conclusive in determining that the ship was completely disabled and that Mr. Kessoku was unconscious up to the point of loss of contact…"

"I continue to see that thing in my nightmares…I feel I can understand Fortuna's calling it an "angel". Obvious symbols such as wings and such aside, at its heart, this Angel of Crossroads as we have taken to calling it is an entity born of and thriving purely off of vengeance. `Purely' as a degree of focus, not of righteousness. I can hardly call something who's sole intent is wreaking death and destruction upon all around it a holy thing."

"And yet…it protected that passenger liner…"

"Needless to say, the nature of this thing completely baffles me and all the rest of us. And with the news that the wreckage of the Zarya has been recovered and that Mr. Kessoku survived, I cannot help but be filled with a lingering dread. What becomes of this boy, as long as he survives, something tells me this Angel of Crossroads will hang over him and all around him like a shadow…"

Johan didn't bother to put everything back in the envelope, nor did he care to look at any of the clippings. As far as he was concerned, he didn't need to. All he needed was to stand and turn towards the sofa along one of the walls of the room he had lived out of for a year or so. The facts boggled the mind- how could something be such an abomination towards life and yet…and yet, Johan thought to himself as his feet drove him forward towards Chris's side, and yet be so beautiful and serene? Such things were not meant to be combined as one.

And yet, they were, and Chris was. And, as he pulled Christopher up into his arms, cradling him close to himself, he made himself a promise. A promise that, as long as they were together, he would not stop looking for answers. Not until they were free of the fear of this monstrosity.

But not right now, Johan told himself as he closed his eyes for a moment. For now, he would simply be there for Chris. And hopefully, that would be enough.

*~*

To Be Continued…

(proem lyrics taken from "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.)