Fan Fiction ❯ Chao Music ❯ Bodyguards and Roadies ( Chapter 7 )

A/N: Yay! An update! Woohoo!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas, and here's the Reviews!

To Kryptic teh Foxie: Good! I'm glad it's fine, because that's what this chapter is going to be about!

To Prince Izzy1: I kind of figured that out when I checked out the story myself . . . That's pretty stupid, if you ask me. Well, here's the site, if you want to check it out. www dot geocities dot com slash SunsetStrip slash Limo slash 3518 slash mr underscore kite dot htm ALL ONE WORD! That “ALL ONE WORD” part isn't part of the web address!

To Kakashi-fan116: Heh! Neither have I! I'm afraid to leave the USA! Except for that one time that I went to Mexico . . . but I digress. Thanks for the plotless idea!

And now, the chapter!

Chapter 7: Bodyguards and Roadies: Part Two of the Pointless Adventures!

“Thank you very much!” shouted Neil to the raging fans in front of him. “We will now be closing this concert with a new song of ours, appropriately called “Don't Splash Navy Trash”!

The four Chao, as said above, were just finishing their performance in Moscow, Russia, which was the stronghold of some of their biggest fans ever. And, apparently, the fans had all come to see their favorite little . . . “alien” things perform.

Skippy began to play a triumphant sounding guitar solo, backed by a drum roll courtesy of Raven, and then Neil began to sing.

Mr. Anderson!
Going to work on Friday
Doesn't want to go
But the military calls him back!

WACK WACK!

Climbs atop the S.S. FLOAT
As they began to sail away
Reaching the Atlantic
The fall under attack!

ACK ACK!

BUT HOW! Did the enemy find them so soon?
AND NOW! Just to have them approaching doom!

Raven played four quarter note drumbeats, and then the music began again.

DON'T! SPLASH! NAVY TRASH!
Others could pick up your trail!
DON'T! SPLASH! NAVY TRASH!
It's nature's little way of sending you to . . .

But before Neil could finish, a gun shot rang through the concert hall. The four Chao on stage stopped, and soon after, Raven let out a yell of pain.

The audience gasped and soon began to get in a panic. Ima, who had been watching from back stage, ran to Raven and looked at her.

“Her pinky's been shot!” she shouted.

(A/N: And by the way, I don't know what you would call those little things Chao have for hands, so they're just hands in this. OK?'

Raven's band mates quickly ran to her, looking at the tiny hole in the drummer's finger.

“A five millimeter!” shouted Julia. “Who could've done this?”

Ima looked into the audience, just in time to see a suspicious looking man running towards the exit of the concert hall. “HIM!” she shouted.

Either way, the man would've been captured, because the Russian police had already caught the suspicious looking man when they noticed him running with a smoking pistol. The concert was called to an emergency end, and thousands of disappointed and worried fans left the hall.

Once everyone was gone, the policemen dragged the man to the stage, where the four Chao still were. Raven was busy sucking on her finger, hoping that her saliva would make the bullet hole go away.

One of the policemen threw the suspicious guy down on the stage.

“SPEAK!” he shouted. “WHY DID YOU DO THIS?”

“I didn't want to shoot Raven!” shouted the bad guy. “I wanted to kill Neil!”

“What?” asked Neil, confused. The other Chao just looked at the man.

“But,” began Julia. “Neil was like . . . five feet under Raven because of the stand she was on! You are one lousy shot, Mister!”

“Only by a few inches!” shouted the man. “You see, my plan was genius! The bullet would bounce off of Raven's right symbol, causing it to bounce into the rafters. Then, it would've hit one of the stage lights, making it fall down on the head of Neil's guitar. An electrical shock would travel along the strings, into Neil's body, through the pick, down to the other strings, and into the amp socket! That would've caused the guitar to overload, making it EXPLODE! Then Neil would've been burned to a crisp!”

“But . . .” said Neil, “if you wanted to kill me, why didn't you just run up and point the gun at my head? Like so!” Neil grabbed the gun and pointed it to his head.

“Woah, woah . . .” said one of the policemen, taking the gun away from Neil. “No. This gun needs to be taken into custody.”

“Thank you,” said Ima as the policemen and bad guy left. She then turned to Raven. “Raven, are you alright?”

“I don't know what hurts more,” said Raven. “My finger, or my pride.”

“Aw . . .:” said the other four as they gave their drummer a big hug. Raven glanced at each Chao, wondering what they were doing.

“But seriously,” said Skippy as he pulled away from Raven. “Do you think you can keep drumming?”

“Don't know. I mean, it is a finger, and may interfere with my drumming. The best thing I can think of is to wait for the pain to just go away.”

“But in the meantime,” said Ima, looking at Neil. “Someone just tried to kill you. We should consider hiring a bodyguard.”

“Yeah,” said Neil, looking at the stage light that might have caused his death. “But how are we going to get one?”

Ima smiled smugly. “I think I have an idea.”

Kryptic sighed as she turned off her big screen TV. She was so bored! And it was a Saturday . . . How could she have nothing to do on a Saturday?

She threw the remote down onto the couch. She just needed something, anything to put her mind to work! She grabbed a newspaper on the floor and looked at the classified ads.

HELD NEEDED!

Must paint guestroom before guest arrives!

“Too many fumes,” Kryptic said dully as she looked at the one below.

NEED OF AN ASSISTANT!

Must complete any job assigned!

“Too complicated.” She then saw one in the corner of her mind, though, that just seemed to stand out of all the others. It might have been the huge, bold print, but she didn't care! It was what she wanted!

The Plastic Spoons are in need of a bodyguard. Please check in to 5030 Chao Lane at 3 o'clock, Sunday, December 30th, for interviews and free cookies.

“Perfect . . .”

“So . . . uh . . . Moe!” said Julia, looking up from a stack of papers on a clipboard to a large, angry looking Chao that could easily squash her flat. “What makes you want to join our group as bodyguard?”

“Well you see I am proud to risk my life for the famous, ya know? And also because I have to, like, do all `dis stuff when I'm messin' wit my homies, ya know? And because, I like, represent and do all `dat stuff for `da bling-bling and companionship.”

Julia glanced over to Skippy quickly. “It's like he's trying to talk to me,” she said, quietly. Then, back to the interview, she said, quickly, “Well thanks a lot Moe! Don't call us, we'll call you! OK? OK! Goodbye!” She then sighed as she looked at the stack of papers once more.

“Uh . . . Kryptic! You're turn!”

A young female Dark Chao walked into the room, smile on her face and orange eyes gleaming. “Hi!” she said.

“Wait,” said Julia, looking at her closely. “Something's wrong. You're not a tough, gangsta wannabe! We need a strong bodyguard!”

“But,” said Kryptic. “You haven't even heard my . . .”

“Thanks,” said Julia, solemnly. “But you're really not what we're looking for. Sorry.”

Kryptic sighed and turned away.

And then it happened.

“FREEZE!” shouted someone from outside the house. “NO ONE MOVE!” A tall, freaky looking Chao came into the house with a large ski mask on his head and a gun in his hand. He then turned to Julia and Skippy, who just sat there wide eyed.

“Give me whatever money you have with you!” he said in a ferocious voice. “NOW!”

“Uh . . .” said Skippy calmly as he dug though his pockets. “I got . . . nothing.”

“Yeah, me neither,” said Julia, shrugging.

“Oh . . .” said the masked Chao very solemnly. He then looked at Kryptic, who stood there staring. “You there! Give me whatever you have!”

“Uh . . . no.”

The masked Chao gasped. “You dare defy me?”

“Uh . . .” said Kryptic, looking over at Julia and Skippy. They just shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

The masked Chao let out an angry yell as he pointed his gun towards Kryptic. Her eyes grew even wider than they were before.

And then the gunshots rang out . . .

Gazing over Kryptic's head as she threw herself on the floor!

Kryptic stood up and gave a loud ninja war cry. She leapt towards the masked Chao, landing on his head and covering his eyes.

The masked Chao, who couldn't see a thing, tried to pull off the ferocious Dark Chao. But Kryptic held on strong, not allowing her grip to be loosened by natural means.

“KARATE CHOP!” she screamed as she delivered a chop to the masked Chao's neck. The Chao hit the floor in a hurry, and Kryptic stood up, proudly dusting her hands.

Julia and Skippy stared wide eyed when Kryptic looked over at them with her own confused stare as well.

“Uh . . .” said Julia, looking at Skippy. He nodded and smiled. “You're in!” said Julia, pointing at Kryptic.

“Here we are,” said Iyou as Bus stopped in front of the City Park. The doors opened, and the band, Ima, and Kryptic stepped out. The six Chao walked through the entrance and immediately saw the large stage that was being put up for the upcoming concert.

“OK bodyguard!” said Ima, looking towards Kryptic. “Ready for your first concert?”

“Ready and able!” she said cheerfully. She had donned a leather jacket with the word “GUARD” in white letters on the back and a set of mean looking sunglasses.

“Get rid of that excited voice of yours. You need to act tough.”

“Oh,” said Kryptic. Then, in a deep voice, “Like this?”

“Yeah, just not that deep.”

“We're ready for you!” said one of the Chao that was setting up the stage. The band ran towards it and instantly began setting up the equipment, with the help of Ima and the stage workers. Kryptic decided to randomly survey the area, using only the naked eye to scan for any kind of bombs or setups.

She would look harder before the show started.

Raven banged on one of the drumheads to make sure they were adjusted properly. Her finger had not completely healed, so the band was going to have to play easy songs that she could play with one hand. Because of this, she needed to make sure that all of the drums were ready and weren't going to do something weird.

Ima looked around the stage to see if there was anything that needed to be adjusted. So far, so good.

“I got something!”

Ima looked over to where the voice was coming from to see Kryptic, sitting on a tree branch and looking quite excited.

Ima ran over to where she was. “Where?”

“In here!”

Ima grabbed hold of the trunk and began to hoist herself up. Soon enough, she reached Kryptic and saw her staring at a nest.

“In the nest?” asked Ima, confusedly.

“Yeah.” She pulled out a strange looking device. “It says that there's a dangerous threat in there.”

“Did you make that?”

“Yeah.”

Kryptic lightly poked the nest, seeing if something would happen. There was a loud beep, and Ima and Kryptic recoiled in terror.

An egg that was in the nest began to hatch, and Ima and Kryptic carefully observed it. A yellow head popped out of the egg, chirping.

“Aw . . .” said Ima and Kryptic as they looked at the little bird.

“He's so precious!” said Kryptic as she picked it up. The little bird looked at her with loving eyes. But then, the eyes turned evil, and the baby bird turned its head 360 degrees and began to puke up some green liquid.

“AAAAAH!” screamed Ima and Kryptic. “IT'S THE THING FROM `THE EXORCIST!'”

Kryptic threw the bird into its nest, and the two Chao quickly climbed down the tree, and then jumped when it was safe to do so.

They then ran away from the tree and towards the stage, where they hoped better protection would be provided.

Kryptic stopped in her tracks.

“Wait a minute. I'm security! I'm not going to just run away from some possessed bird!” Kryptic then bravely ran back towards the tree.

“NO! KRYPTIC!” shouted Ima. “IT WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS! . . . Of course I've never actually seen the movie before, so . . . BUT BE CAREFUL!”

Kryptic looked up from the ground and looked at the nest. She could easily see the demon bird still in the tree, plotting some kind of evil scheme.

Kryptic bravely climbed up the tree and soon reached the nest. The bird was facing the opposite direction, but soon wasn't, for it once again turned its head all the way around.

“All right, bird,” said Kryptic. “Time for you to be free.”

Ima ran over to the band, adrenaline rushing in her stomach and panting with worry.

“KRYPTIC!” she shouted. “SHE'S IN A DEATH MATCH!”

The band quickly put down their instruments and followed Ima to the tree where Kryptic was. They could easily see her, performing a staring contest with the possessed bird.

Kryptic pulled out a jug of water and a large book of some sort. She threw the book down to Neil, who stared at it with confused eyes.

“NEIL!” she shouted. “START AT PSALM 41 AND DON'T STOP UNTIL I TELL YOU!”

Neil opened the book and began to read. He didn't know if he should read aloud or not, so he just read to himself.

Kryptic then took the jug of water and began squirting some of it on the bird's face.

“The power of Christ compels you!” she chanted. “The power of Christ compels you!”

The bird screamed in pain, and its face began to produce steam.

“Wait . . .” said Kryptic. “That's not supposed to happen.” She looked down at the bottle she was holding. “Acid? Since when did I get acid?” She shrugged and put it back where it was.

“WOW!” shouted Julia from below. “I've never seen a bird's face melt before!”

“Good job, Kryptic,” said Ima, giving her a thumbs up. “Had you not killed that thing, it probably would've spread it's evil on the earth!”

“YAY KRYPTIC!” shouted everyone.

“Uh . . .” said Kryptic, confused. “Yeah! Yay for me!”

Kryptic climbed down the tree, and the six Chao walked towards the stage. The concert was about to begin!

That was probably the most stupid endings I have ever come up with. How lame I am.

Please Review! And leave some pointless ideas! If I can, I can try to find some good ones and merge them together to make a longer chapter!