Fan Fiction ❯ Chao Music ❯ Kryptic teh Hitgirl ( Chapter 13 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A/N: Reviews!

To Kryptic teh Foxie: I'm going to use that idea for this chapter! Hope you like it!

To ficmaster: Oh wow . . . This is a coincidence . . . I forgot all about your Chao, Gonzo. The Italian guy, Gonzo, is a human, not your Chao. I hope I didn't piss you off or anything . . . Sorry! (smiles nervously)

To Amy Rose: Why are they weird? Because there's nothing there for you to do? Because you can't go SHOPPING? You saying that the chapter was weird is a compliment to me. Thank you.

To Prince Izzy1: You thought that was good? I thought it was rather random on my account . . . Oh well!

And now, the chapter!

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Chapter 13: Kryptic teh Hitgirl: Part Eight of the Pointless Adventures!

Julia and Raven walked through the mall, clutching their shopping bags. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon . . . Perfect for shopping and doing nothing.

Just before the two could get to Bus, who was patiently waiting outside, a man in a trench coat came up to them and stopped them.

The man opened up his trench coat, and . . .

“AH!” shouted Julia as she covered her eyes. “NUDIST!”

“What?” asked the man in the coat as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.

“Forgive her,” said Raven, over the screams of Julia. “She's a spaz.”

The man and Raven continued to watch Julia run around in circles. After a while, the man cleared his throat.

“My name is Jean Paul, and I'm a truant officer.”

(A/N: Jean is pronounced like John, except you have an buzzing sound for the first letter. Kind of like “Shzawn”)

Raven nodded, taking her eyes off Julia. “I could sort of tell.”

“Yes. And you're a kid.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.”

There was an awkward silence.

“You're supposed to be in school,” said Jean Paul, breaking the ice.

“Am I?” asked Raven, confused.

“Yes.”

“I don't think so . . .”

“Are you talkin' smack?” The man pulled out a leather belt and gave it a crack.

“NO!” Raven waved her hands as if motioning the officer to back off.

“Then what are you talkin'?”

“I'm saying that I don't have to go to school because I'm in a band.”

The truant officer stared at Raven, then put his belt away.

“I see,” said Jean, pulling out a magnifying glass and examining Raven. “Now that you mention it, you do look like the lass on that `17' magazine cover.”

(A/N: I don't know if that's a world-wide thing . . . Forgive me!)

Raven went wide-eyed. “I'm not going to ask how you know what that is.”

“Good.” Jean put his magnifier up. “Either way, you need to go to school.”

(A/N: Now that I think about it, it may be spelt Jhon. Don't know . . .)

“But I just said . . .”

“I don't care!” Jean pulled out his belt and gave Raven a smack. “At least go to school for . . . a day or so.”

Julia came up to them, apparently over her fear. “I don't want to go to school.”

“You heard what we were talking about?” asked Raven.

“Yeah,” said Julia, rolling her eyes. “Duh.”

Jean ignored the Hero Chao. “Anyway, just go to school for one day. One day, and that's it.”

Raven let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine.”

Jean Paul then walked away, as soon as he had come.

“You know what I don't understand?” asked Julia.

“What?” asked Raven.

“Why we even need to go. I mean, we're making money! And do you know what else I don't understand? I don't understand why that man even cares if we get an education! And do you know what else I don't understand? I don't understand why that man wore a trench coat!”

“Are you done?” asked Raven. “I mean, is there anything else that you don't understand?”

“Actually . . . there is. I don't understand how a thermos keeps things both hot and cold.”

Raven glared at Julia with half-open eyes, then fwapped her.

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Kryptic fell out of Bus. “WE'RE HERE!” she said, getting up excitedly.

Iyou, who didn't necessarily need to go to school, honked the horn. “GET OFF BUS!” he shouted, looking over to the band.

“No.”

Neil crossed his arms and glared at the bus driver.

“Um . . . I wasn't really expecting that answer . . . Could you say something else?”

Neil sighed. “Yay. School.”

“I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!” shouted Iyou as he pointed at Neil. “You're a NERD!”

“What?” asked Neil, a little startled.

“Huh?”

The rest of the Chao waited for Neil to get off Bus . . .

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“This is it . . .” said Raven quietly as she put a hand to the classroom door.

“You're a brave Chao, Rae . . .” said Skippy as he backed away. “I'll see you . . .”

“Uh uh!” shouted Kryptic, grabbing onto Skippy and pulling him back. “You're in this class, too!”

Skippy sighed. “OK . . . I'm ready.”

“One . . .” said Raven.

“Two . . .” said Neil.

“THREE!”

Raven pushed open the door, and the four Chao walked in.

“Where's the teacher?” asked Julia, looking around.

“Must've died,” said Skippy, picking up his books and preparing to leave. “Might as well go . . .”

“Skippy, sit down!” said Raven, pulling Skippy back into his seat. “I know it's scary, but it's just . . .”

“Welcome to Sex-Ed., everybody!” shouted the teacher as he walked into the room. “I'm your teacher, Mr. Bob, and I'll be teaching you today!”

(A/N: I know that Chao do a dance to make eggs, but . . . COME ON! THAT'S GOTTA BE CENSORSHIP OR SOMETHING!)

The students clapped.

“Now, I need a volunteer to . . .”

“HOLY . . .” shouted Skippy. Raven put a hand over his mouth to keep him from finishing the sentence.

“So sorry,” said Raven as she motioned for the teacher to continue.

“Yes, anyway . . . I need a volunteer to tell me what makes the juice that is used to form an embryo. Hmm . . . You there! Over there!”

Neil raised his head. “Me?”

“Yes! Tell me, what makes the juice that is used to form an embryo?”

Neil puckered up and got a disgusted look on his face. “Um . . .” he said, when he realized that he was actually expected to answer. “The . . . the . . .”

All eyes were on him.

“. . . Kids . . .?” he said, meekly.

“Hmm . . . I don't what these “kids” are that you're talking about,” said Mr. Bob as he looked at some papers. “But the correct answer is . . .”

Julia burst out laughing.

“I GET IT!” she shouted, elbowing Kryptic in the side. “KIDS!”

Kryptic sat there, confused. Then, she too beamed. “Oooooh!”

Raven just sat there, embarrassed by what her friends were doing. The other class made paper airplanes and threw them. Yay.

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“So . . .” said Neil, looking at an agenda. “What do we have next?”

“Health,” said Julia as she folded up her schedule.

“We have Geography,” said Kryptic as she, Raven, and Skippy headed off towards the upstairs rooms. “See ya.”

Julia and Neil walked to class, not saying anything. Julia occasionally laughed, remembering the incident earlier.

The two Chao walked into Room 208, where Health was supposed to be taking place. They appeared to be late for class, however, when they noticed that the teacher was passing things out to the students . . . quite angrily, in fact.

“THESE ARE CONDOMS!” shouted the teacher as he passed out the condoments. “WHERE THESE, OR YOU'LL GET STDs AND DIE!”

Neil and Julia sat down; Neil too busy trying to sneak in, and Julia too busy trying to hold back laughter.

The teacher went back to his desk, then looked at Julia and Neil in anger. “YOU TWO!”

The two Chao immediately looked at their teacher.

“ROCKSTAR WANNABES! DON'T DO DRUGS! YOU'LL GET ADDICTED AND DIE!”

Neil and Julia exchanged glances.

“YOU TWO! BETSY AND BILL!”

Two Chao from the back looked up.

“WEAR SUNSCREEN! YOU'LL GET CANCER AND DIE!”

And this went on, and on, and on . . .

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The five Chao sat at lunch, discussing what had happened during their day. Neil and Julia told the Dark Chao what had happened in Health, and the Darks shared an equally disturbing event, involving an African tribe and certain rituals.

It was then that they all had to go to gym class. What fun!

“I hate gym class . . .” said Raven as she sat in the bleachers. “I'm not moving from this spot.”

“MOVE!” shouted the coach as he shoved Raven off.

“Well . . .” said Raven, brushing herself off and looking pissed. “He certainly isn't a gentleman . . .”

“I can't do dodge ball!” shouted Skippy as he rubbed his hands. “I'm a guitarist! I work with my hands!”

It was then that a red ball flew into Skippy's face, knocking him to the ground.

Four Chao from across the court laughed at Skippy.

“Works with his hands!” shouted one of them. “He can't even catch something! Some hands!”

(A/N: I cannot make insults if my life depended on it!)

Kryptic helped Skippy up, then glared daggers at the four. “Losers . . .” she mumbled.

“HEY!” she then shouted, getting the four to stop laughing. “FRUITS!”

“Yeah?” asked the one that made fun of Skippy . . . Obviously the leader. He was a Dark Chao with a blood-red . . . thingy.

Before he could realize what was going on, a ball flew right into his face, knocking him down.

The other three that were with him looked from him to Kryptic, him to Kryptic . . .

Then, they screamed and ran away.

“YAY!” shouted the band as Kryptic smiled.

It was then that the “boss”, who shall now be known as Boss, got up.

“YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL!” he said, shouting across the court.

The five Chao just stared at him. Just stared . . .

“You hit me!” shouted Boss as he got up and made his way to Kryptic. “Nobody hits me and gets away with it!”

Kryptic just stood there, not a bit intimidated.

Boss walked up to Kryptic and stared into her eyes. Kryptic did the same . . . Except her eyes were half-opened.

This went on for a couple of minutes . . .

Then Boss punched Neil in the face, reached into his pockets, and pulled out a shiny, super pencil! Boss ran away.

“He stole my silver pencil!” shouted Neil.

“Well, crap!” shouted Kryptic as she put a fist in her hands. “We gotta go after him!”

Kryptic did just that and ran after Boss, the others following her.

After a while of running, Kryptic cleverly found out that Boss was hiding in a storage closet. She opened the door, and already she could feel her pupils growing large.

“It's too dark . . .” she mumbled, pulling her head out. “We need to do something else.”

“But what?” asked Julia.

The five Chao sat there.

Kryptic then stood up, opened the door, and put a hand to her mouth.

“This is a 357 Magnum!” she shouted. “One of the most powerful handguns in the world! It could blow your head off . . . The only thing is, I can't remember if I shot four rounds or five . . . So you gotta ask yourself . . . DO YA FEEL LUCKY? HUH? DO YA, PUNK?”

“Go ahead!” shouted Raven. “Make her day!”

Kryptic fwapped Julia upside the head.

“OW!” shouted Julia. “What was that for?”

“Oh . . . sorry. The author made a typo.”

Kryptic fwapped Raven upside the head.

“Skippy,” she said, looking to Skippy. “The device.”

Skippy reached into his pocket and dug deeply. After a while, he pulled out a small grenade and handed it to Kryptic.

“FIRE IN THE HOLE!” she shouted as she pulled the pin and threw the grenade in there. The rest of the Chao ducked.

And luckily they did, because the hallway was soon flooded with dust.

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“So . . . this is what the outside world looks like now.”

The band turned back to Kryptic.

“Kryptic,” began Skippy, “you were only in jail for thirty minutes.”

“Small comment. Means nothing.”

“Well, it certainly means something in the end,” said Julia, folding her arms. “We have to pay for the damage done to the school.”

“And,” said Neil, “that bail to get you out was 20,000 dollars, seeing that you gravely injured someone.”

“Oh well,” said Kryptic, putting her arms behind her head. “Just a day in the life of a Hitgirl.”

“What?” asked the band, a little wide-eyed.

“Nothing. Nothing.”

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KRYPTIC IS IN THE MOB! WOAH!

A little note to all of you guys, the last three chapters of this fic are going to be very tragic in some parts. When a band breaks up, it is tragic . . . Hope that doesn't make any of you guys too sad!

Anyway, REVIEW!