Fan Fiction ❯ Chaos Factor ❯ Two Pina Coladas ( Chapter 5 )

Lady Knight3: Sorry this chapter took so long, kids. College has been taking up a large chunk of my time. I'll try to do better with the next chapters… I hope….

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (which is probably a good thing or you'd still be on book two), the Magic 8-Ball, or anything to do with a Country song about alcohol. And I'd like to apologize for my botched attempt at pirate-eze…surprisingly NO alcohol was involved.

Special Thanks to:

Lady Sei - In her tireless crusade to get me to stop focusing on homework and concentrate on more important things…like this fic. (Lady Sei: It's about * Censored * time…)

And thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

~*~Chapter 5~*~

"You four, will wait here `till after the first years have been Sorted. Do not wander off." Professor McGonagall ordered sternly. Even though the Americans were trying to radiate innocence, the Deputy Headmistress had dealt with enough students to recognize potential troublemakers - especially when they came in groups of four. Giving the girls one last long look, she herded the final first year stragglers through the large double doors that led into the Great Hall.

"This place is bigger than you led me to believe," Chris griped as the massive doors swung shut.

"It's bigger than I was led to believe," Juline grumbled in reply. "I have no idea how we're going to find this thing before we `graduate'. I'm not sure we'd find it in ten years, let alone three. And knowing Albus, he'll want it by Christmas."

"Any idea where to start?" Rini asked as she peered down the seemingly never-ending corridor.

Emily reached into her sleeve and pulled out a familiar looking black ball. She began shaking it, asking, "Where do we begin our search?" She stopped shaking and studied the answer. "The Magic 8-Ball says: `How The Hell Should I Know? I'm Just A Cheap Muggle Toy!'"

"At least it's honest," Rini commented, rolling her eyes.

"Of course it is. I charmed it that way." Emily replied.

The other three groaned as the doors opened. Juline looked into the Great Hall and said, "I guess that's our cue."

"And what makes you say that?" Emily asked curiously.

"It could be that everyone's looking at us expectantly." Chris replied sarcastically. "Let's get this over with." Head held high, the LeFaye heir strode through the doorway.

"Oh well. Lights, camera, action…" Juline muttered as she led her sisters down the aisle.

The four witches stopped in front of a stool with an old and battered looking hat sitting on it. Apparently Dumbledore had already introduced them, as McGonagall immediately picked up the hat and waved Rini up to the stool. The youngest Belmont hopped up and the professor placed the Sorting Hat on the tall girl's head. Rini's eyes popped open in surprise for a moment before settling into a puzzled and slightly putout expression as a tear the others had believed to simply be another sign of the hat's age twitched.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The other Americans looked at each other and shrugged as the table along the right wall cheered. Rini stood up, handing the hat to McGonagall who directed her to join her housemates. Chris and Juline glanced at each other, nodded, and pushed Emily towards the stool. The blonde stumbled a bit, shot the older girls a weak death glare, and sat down. The Sorting Hat was placed on her head and, almost immediately yelled, "RAVENCLAW!"

The table on Juline's left burst into applause showing Emily which table to join. Juline and Chris studied each other for a moment then fisted their right hands. Ignoring the curious stares and muttered questions from the students surrounding them, the Americans appeared to pound the air several times before stopping with their fingers in strange positions.

"Scissors cuts paper. Your turn, Chris." Juline smirked.

Chris sighed and took her place on the stool. For a brief moment, nothing happened. The hat seemed to take a deep breath before it yelled out "GRYFFINDOR!" The table to Juline's right went ballistic. Chris slid off the stool with a smile pasted on her face, and a look in her eye that screamed, "What have I gotten myself into?" She grinned as she joined the fifth years, forcing a sandy-haired boy to scoot down so she could sit next to Harry.

Juline sauntered up to the stool amidst the fierce whispering that had started throughout the hall. Even the Slytherin table was taking an interest in this sorting. A minute passed before the hat seemed to collect itself and announced its decision. "SLYTHERIN!" A stunned silence passed over the room for a heartbeat before the Slytherins began reluctantly clapping for their new housemate. The other houses looked at the eldest Belmont like she'd grown an extra head right before their eyes.

As Juline made her way to the Slytherin table she shook her head muttering, "I can feel the love in the room." Glancing toward the fifth years, she spies a familiar platinum blond head. A wicked grin crossed her face, frightening a couple of first years as she passed them. Draco was flanked by his `Neanderthal' bodyguards as usual, and Juline tapped the taller of the two on his shoulder. "Do you mind moving over?" Juline asked in an overly sweet voice. He scooted over towards Draco before Juline stopped him. "No. That way." Juline insisted, gesturing away from Malfoy with her thumb. He looked at her, then at Malfoy, then back at Juline and slid over. Juline sat down gracefully and a place setting appeared before her.

"What are you doing?" Draco hissed as the food appeared and Dumbledore announced that they should "tuck in".

"Why Draco, haven't you ever heard the old saying: `Keep your friends close and your enemies under constant surveillance'?" Juline asked innocently.

Conversation quieted as the students began eating. As soon as the dessert dishes disappeared, Dumbledore stood once again.

"All students will please note that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden."

Juline noted, with some amusement, that his gaze seemed to linger on the Gryffindor table.

"Mr. Filch, our esteemed caretaker, would like me to remind you all that there is to be no magic in corridors between classes. And I'm pleased to announce that we have two new professors joining us this year. I'm sure many of you remember Oliver Wood; he has graciously taken time off from the world of professional Quidditch to fill in for Madam Hooch."

A tall, trim young man with curly brown hair, stood amid cheers from the student body. He waved at the Gryffindor table, a wide grin on his face, before sitting down again. Dumbledore held up his hands for silence before continuing

"We are most fortunate to have with us this year Dolores Umbridge. She has graciously taken time off from her work at the Ministry to serve as our Defense Against the Dark Art's teacher."

This time the applause was more polite than enthusiastic. Juline, whose warning bells had gone off at the word "Ministry", craned her neck trying to get a look at the rather short woman who had remained standing after her introduction. Based on her posture and the clearing of her throat it seemed she intended to interrupt Dumbledore's speech with one of her own. Whatever Dolores Umbridge lacked in size she made up for in volume. Her polite little "Hem, hem" carried across the Great Hall like a giant's cough. Dumbledore looked surprised for a moment, but than smiled pleasantly and sat down. You could have heard a pin drop in the Great Hall. All activity had completely stopped and everyone's eyes were fixed on the small toad-like woman in the pink cardigan.

"Hem, hem." She said again before addressing the students and the staff as if they were a bunch of five year olds. Her voice, Juline decided as Umbridge made little innuendoes about the coming school year, was honey coated venom…heavy on the honey. The eldest Belmont's gazed moved from the toad to Albus, whose own briefly met hers and he gave a slight nod. Juline mentally swore, it all made perfect sense now…shit.

Harry wasn't sure what to make of Umbridge's addition to the Hogwarts faculty, but judging by the looks everyone from Hermione to Snape were shooting her -- it wasn't good. He glanced over at the American sitting next to him and was surprised at the intensity of her stare. If looks could kill, Umbridge would be six feet under. His gaze moved over the rest of the hall seeking out the other newcomers. He could barely see the youngest sitting at the Hufflepuff table behind him. Over Ginny's shoulder he spotted Emily chatting with Cho Chang and several other Ravenclaw fifth and sixth years. On the far side of the room Juline was also glaring at Umbridge from her seat next to Malfoy. Harry wondered why she decided to sit next to that prat. After the confrontation on the train, he was sure none of the Americans would want anything to do with the arrogant pureblood. The sound of clapping caught his attention and he glanced back up to the head table. Dumbledore was applauding enthusiastically as Umbridge gave a little bow and returned to her seat. The other teachers were shooting each other glances as they clapped half-heartedly. Harry wondered what he missed.

"Well." Hermione said thoughtfully. "That was intriguing."

Ron frowned, a bit puzzled, "What are you talking about? That was the dullest speech I've ever heard. And that includes Professor Binns' history classes."

"I wasn't really paying attention, but the teachers seem upset." He leaned closer to Ron and added, "LeFaye was glaring at Umbridge like she was Voldemort himself."

Ron shuddered, "Don't say that name!"

Hermione, Harry, and Ginny rolled their eyes at Ron's extreme reaction.

"A name only has as much power as you give it. Besides, it's a rather stupid name to begin with." Chris piped in. The four friends turned to stare at the American. "What? You shouldn't have mentioned my name if you didn't want me joining the conversation. Anyway Ron, it helps if you make fun of the things that frighten you. It's like the Riddikulus charm: if it makes you laugh it looses its power over you. Personally, I prefer to call him "Moldyshorts". And Juline has been known to call him "Moldyvort" or just "Moldy"."

Harry's eyes widened and Ron's jaw dropped as Hermione and Ginny started giggling.

"Don't you take him seriously?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Of course I take him seriously, he's a major pain in the ass, but the trick is not to take him too seriously." Chris shrugged. "I fear Muggle transportation networks more than I fear him. Respect as an adversary, yes, at least until proven otherwise, but fear? That just means they've won before the battle even begins."

Ginny stopped giggling and seemed to settle into deep thought as Ron gaped in shock. Hermione smiled at the new student and they shared a look of mutual understanding. Harry was quiet for a moment, and then a smile slowly crept over his face. He opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was cut off as the rest of the student body stood and began making their way out of the great hall.

Chris got up and stretched. "I'll see you guys in the dorm later, it looks like Dumbledore wants a word." She turned and walked off towards the head table, dodging Gryffindor and Hufflepuff bodies as she made her way to where the Headmaster stood.

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73;­­

The four Americans stood before Dumbledore and four very diverse looking professors. To his right was Professor McGonagall who had a stern expression on her face. On her right was a cheerful looking woman in well-used work robes who smelled of herbs and freshly turned earth. To Dumbledore's left stood a tall, imposing looking man, with dark hair, pale skin, and a large hooked nose. The sneering expression on his face showed a distinct lack of enthusiasm at the girls' presence. The last figure was a tiny man with a twinkle in his eye and a pleasant expression.

"I would like to officially welcome you girls to Hogwarts and introduce you to the Heads of the Houses you have been sorted into. This is Professor Sprout," he said, indicating the woman on his far right. "She will be teaching you Herbology and is the Head of Hufflepuff. Professor Flitwick, our Charms Master, is the gentleman on my far left. He is the Head of Ravenclaw. I believe you've already met Professor McGonagall. She is the Deputy Headmistress and the Transfiguration teacher as well as the Head of Gryffindor." As he turned to indicate the unpleasant looking man to his left, he shot Juline a subtle smirk. "And this is Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin, and our Potions Master. As per your parents' request, private rooms have been provided in each of the Houses. Your Heads of House have-"

"Hem, hem." The sound of a clearing throat once again interrupted the Headmaster's speech. The nauseatingly sweet, simpering voice of Dolores Umbridge floated up from behind Dumbledore. No one had noticed the diminutive woman lurking in the background until she spoke up. Quickly concealed irritation flashed across the faces of the five professors as they turned. The frog-faced woman brushed past Dumbledore and McGonagall and walked up to the wary Americans. "I was so enthused at the prospect of meeting our foreign cousins that I just could not wait until classes tomorrow to welcome you on behalf of The Ministry. I hope your stay in our country is educational. Your parents couldn't have entrusted you to a finer facility and we hope that you will take every opportunity to immerse yourselves in our society, no matter how unconventional it might seem to you. I am sure that living with your housemates will offer you many chances for cultural exchanges."

"No need to worry, Professor Umbridge. The girls will be sharing the common areas with the rest of their houses. However, not only were the private rooms a parental request, but all the girls' dorm rooms are full to capacity. The only way we could accept them was to open new dorm rooms. Had two been sorted into the same house, they would have shared. Besides, their parents were most generous." Dumbledore added with a twinkle in his eye.

Any reply Umbridge would have given was cut off by Juline. "Thank you all for your kind welcome. My friends and I have had a long journey and are still adjusting to the time difference. We want to be fresh for classes in the morning so if you would please excuse us…"

Umbridge looked a bit irritated, but there was nothing she could do. The House Heads led their new charges from the Great Hall almost eagerly. The Americans said good night to each other once outside and went their separate ways, trailing behind the professors.

Juline followed Professor Snape to the stairs leading down to the dungeons as best as she could. His long strides causing her to take two steps for his every one, or risk being left behind. Even so, Snape had to pause before descending the steps to wait for her to catch up. He seemed to be studying her intently as she made her way to his side.

"Do try to keep up, Miss Belmont."

Juline just smiled sweetly while mentally chanting `Potions Master… Potions Master… I'm gonna kill you Albus… Potions Master…' She followed the tall, dark, and surly professor down into the depths of the school.

Once at the bottom of the stairs Juline noted the atmospheric lighting scheme of the stone hallway. Snape led her past the only door she could see in the corridor. Juline opened her mouth to ask where he was taking her, but Snape interrupted her before she could draw a breath.

"That door leads to the potions classroom. I hope the American curriculum has not left you too far behind. I don't have time to mollycoddle any student."

"Don't worry Professor. I was the top of my class back in America. I can handle anything you dish out." Juline retorted. `I will not fireball the potions master… I will not fireball the potions master… No matter how much of a prick he is I will not fireball the potions master…' she added mentally.

Snape turned and glared, then walked the last few feet to where a large painting hung at the end of the hall. The pompous looking man in the portrait nodded sharply at Snape and asked for a password. A bit curious about what was happening, Juline came closer. She noted a small plaque set in the stone to the side of the painting. Skimming the text she discovered the tights-clad man was none other than Nicholas the Smarmy, a 14th century wizard-baron noted for his impressive wizards chess skills and for even more impressive gloating skills. Nicholas unfortunately gloated once too often when his opponent was the King Tyranisis the Fourth who was known as a poor looser with a short temper.

"This is the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. Do not forget the password or you will be spending the night in the hallway. The current password is the trigger to an ancient spell of great destructive power. Fortunately, since the method of casting it has been lost, no careless idiot will accidentally set it off by speaking its name." Without waiting for a reply, Snape turned back to the impatiently glaring Lord Nicholas. "Dragon Slave."

Juline hoped Snape thought her reaction was to the painting suddenly swinging open to reveal the archway behind it and not to the password itself. Following her House Head into and across the large room she smirked a little to herself. `I wonder what he'd say if I told him I was one of the four people who could pull it off?' Shaking her head to clear it of the pleasant images of using certain people as target practice, Juline looked around the surprisingly cushy common room. The first thing to catch her attention was the massive fireplace that took up most of one wall. Above the mantle was a huge mirror that reflected nearly the entire room. The other walls were lined with bookshelves and tasteful paintings. Scattered around the room were groupings of comfortable looking plush leather chairs. One corner was dominated by a table that could seat eight with plenty of elbow room. Juline noticed her steps no longer echoed on the stone floor and glanced down. Cushioning her feet was possibly the largest oriental carpet she had ever seen.

"If you are quite finished gawking…" Snape trailed off, indicating a stone archway on the far side of the room. Juline moved his name a little higher on her target practice list and followed him through the doorway into yet another hallway, a well lit one this time. "The Headmaster said you may select from the three vacant rooms at the end of the hall." His tones indicated he thought Dumbledore was being a little too accommodating. "I'll leave you to it. Good night."

Once Snape had returned to the common room, Juline didn't hesitate in choosing the room at the end. The man in the portrait seemed interesting. She did a double take. He looked like he had walked off the set of Pirates of the Caribbean. She read the plaque next to the frame. "Captain James Morgan. A 16th Century privateer. He sailed the oceans in search of lost spells and magic artifacts." Juline smiled. "I like this guy already."

"So yer the girl Dumbledore sed might be a commin." The old sailor gave her a once over before exclaiming "Why yer nothin' but a wee bit of a lass! Don't see why the ol' salt's got his mainsails in a twist… Well then, never let it be sed Cap'n James Morgan wasna accomidatin to a lady. Alright then lassie, what be yer entry code?"

"Two Piña Coladas" Juline grinned.

It was just about midnight by the time Juline got her living quarters situated more or less to her satisfaction. All she really wanted to do was collapse, but sadly there's no rest for the weary…or the wicked. It was time to get this job started. Digging in her pocket, she fished out her compact and flipped it open.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. I would like to make a call." Juline chanted. The compact mirror wasn't technically on the wall, but for rhyming purposes, it worked. "Conference Chris, Emily, and Rini." The mirror clouded over then began to ring. The clouds cleared away revealing the faces of the other three witches as each one answered. "Well, are you guys ready for me?"