Fan Fiction ❯ Cleaning Up Sheffield ❯ "Me and My Wine" ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Genre: Fan-fiction of Def Leppard
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: This story contains bisexual and adult situations. If the reader is offended by such material, please do not read.
Created: October 27, 2005
Started: November 27, 2005
Finished:
Summary: Two French sisters are hired from a "not so normal" cleaning agency to become full time housekeepers for a famous band.
Characters: Rick Savage, Phil Collens, Stephen Clark, Joe Elliot, Rick Allen, Babette, Roxanne
Pairings: Phil/Stephen, Stephen/Babette, Phil/Roxanne
Disclaimer: The author does not own anything related to Def Leppard or the band itself. The author does not own Phonogram Ltd (London) and Poly Gram Records, nor does the author claim any rights to them.
Note: This is a fan-fiction of Stephen Clark and Phil Collen. This work of fiction is set in modern day and none of the characters are in a serious relationship (i.e.: engaged/ married). This is a work of fiction. This is not based on any actual events. This work of fiction is purely based on the author’s imagination. The author does not know of any persons in the Def Leppard band personally and therefore does not know of their sexual orientation. The characters’ sexual orientation are mentioned only for the interest of the story.

British slang and translations come from: http://www.zoo.ufl.edu/bolker/vocab/vocab.html and http://www.effingpot.com/


Chapter 1- Me & My Wine (Wrong Side of the Bed)

A loud buzzing sound emitted from the alarm clock sitting on top of a black metal night stand. Suddenly, a pair of dark eyes peered out sleepily from under the black satin sheets that covered a king sized bed, made out of the same material as the night stand. The numbers on the clocked flashed 4:00am in an angry red tint. Phil cursed at himself for having forgotten to turn off the alarm, the day before. Each time the alarm buzzed, Phil’s head pounded with an excruciating pain, that he hasn’t felt in years. The band had a party the previous night, to celebrate their new album, and some of the members had a few too many drinks. Unfortunately, he was one of them. Before the alarm went off for the dozenth time, he groggily slid his hand from under the blankets and abusively smacked the alarm off, which sent the clock sailing to the floor.

Phil leaned back in his bed for a few minutes in hopes of going back to sleep, but not able to do so, he decided to get out of bed and take a shower. As soon as his feet hit the floor, they landed on an empty red plastic cup, which instantly crushed under his foot, causing him to curse again. When he stood up, he kicked the cup away from him and made his way towards the bathroom. Right when he reached the entrance of his lavatory, he heard a knock on his bedroom door, which caused him to moan miserably, for the average sounding tap on the door, sounded one hundred times louder to him, thanks to the hang over he was having. “Couldn’t you knock quieter, you bloody bloke?”, he asked. “Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed, didn’t they?”, Stephen asked as he welcomed himself in Phil’s room and closed the door.The two often visited each other in the mornings, when the others were asleep. They were very close friends and they used that time to spend with each other. Phil and Stephen grew to be good friends over time and during the years, their friendship went to the next level.

The night Phil found Stephen passed out in his bed, from an overdose of alcohol and pills, Phil thought he was going to lose his best friend. Luckily for them both, Stephen was still slightly breathing, and Phil was able to do CPR on him, which saved his life. Not only did Phil save him, but that night in the hospital, all of his emotions came out and he finally told Stephen how he felt about him, after all these years. As they talked, Phil was surprised that Stephen felt the same way about him, and they decided to take their friendship to the next level and be in a relationship with each other. They told each other that even though they starting a relationship they could still be with women. Not only would it save them from the cruelties of the press, and suspicions of the band, but they could still get a piece of ass, whenever they wanted it.

Phil mimicked him under his breath, as he walked in the bathroom. He then changed out of his cotton jersey pants and put on his robe, while he looked in the mirror, miserably. “I feel like bloody shit and my head is throbbing.”, he complained as Stephen joined him. Stephen looked Phil over and grinned as he walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “It’s a good thing I’m here, because I can make you feel better and take care of that throbbing in your head.”, Stephen told him, as his hands started moving slowly down the front of Phil’s robe. “That’s not the head that’s throbb--ing.”, Phil said as he let out a quiet moan, when he felt Stephen’s hand lay directly on his crotch. “Are you sure, because it feels like it is, to me.”, Stephen said as he squeezed Phil playfully.

Stephen, we shouldn’t…we can’t…the guy’s might hear us…”, Phil tried to protest, but each time he opened his mouth, Stephen squeezed him firmly, which made him moan when he tried to speak. Usually, Phil was the more dominant one, but on this rare occasion, Stephen seemed to be. “Oh, don’t worry about them. They’re sound asleep and with as many drinks as they’ve had last night, they’re bound to be like that for several hours. That should be enough time for me to make you feel better. Besides--it’s been a while for the both of us.”, Stephen reassured him.

Stephen had Phil turn around to face him and started kissing his neck as he began to untie his robe. He then got out of his silk boxers and led Phil towards the free standing shower. As they got in, Stephen closed the door and turned on the cold water. When the water fell from the removable shower head and splashed oh Phil’s chest, Stephen leaned forward and kissed each spot where the water splashed on Phil’s chiseled body. Each time Stephen kissed his chest, he’d firmly grasp each of Phil’s bollocks in his hand and squeeze them, which caused Phil to moan again.

Stephen continued planting kisses on Phil’s chest and started going lower with each kiss. As he did so, he reached Phil’s all ready hardened manhood and grinned. “And you said this wasn’t the head that was throbbing!”, he said teasingly. Stephen looked back at Phil’s manhood. It was at it’s full length and waiting for him to make his move. “You had to make a point and prove me wrong, didn’t you”?, Phil asked in a husky voice. “How could I prove you wrong, when it was obvious, you had your point well made, all along?”, Stephen asked him. “Maybe so, but you’re the one that’s helping me make my statement!”, Phil managed to say, before he was interrupted by Stephen’s next move.

Stephen held Phil’s manhood firmly and kissed the tip of the head softly. He then started giving the base, short firm strokes with his hand and took Phil’s manhood into his mouth. Stephen slowly ran his tongue around the tip of it and then he teasingly removed his mouth and licked slowly around the head. Phil moaned when he felt Stephen’s wet, warm tongue on his hardened member that was cold from the shower. He hated being teased this way, especially when he was throbbing like he was, and he started to shove his manhood in Stephen’s mouth, before Stephen stopped him and looked up. He shook his finger at Phil and shook his head. “No, no. You know better than to try an’ rush me, just so you can get your bollocks done first, Philly, darling. Just for that, you’re go’ to have to be punished.”, Stephen told him in a reprimanding tone. As soon as Stephen stood back up, he grabbed one of Phil’s arms and forced him to turn around, to where he was facing the shower wall. “And just what do you have in mind for me punishment?”, Phil asked as he was being pressed against the wall. “Oh, just a lil’ something’ we’ve talked about before.”, Stephen hinted. Phil was curious as to what he was talking about and his expression quickly changed to one of surprise, when he felt Stephen’s head start to enter his bum. The two had been in a bi-sexual relationship for a few years and they had practiced anal sex with anal toys that were only a few inches in length at the most. Between the both of them, they were very well endowed in equal size and they were getting bored with the toys.

Stephen grinned to himself, when he heard Phil moan, when he entered him. He loved it when Phil dominated him, but since they had been too busy with the band, Stephen had been really aroused lately, and he couldn’t help himself. He knew Phil was the same way and they had tried to get together during the party, but something would always distract them and get in their way. Stephen pushed his shaft in Phil’s bum slowly and felt him grow tense around his hard member. “Relax, love.”, Stephan whispered in Phil’s ear. He then started licking Phil’s neck as he reached around Phil’s waist and grabbed his manhood. Stephen bit down on his neck and started stroking his manhood as he kept entering Phil’s bum. When Stephen felt him tense up even more, after telling him to relax, he tightened his grip on his manhood and harshly shoved his shaft in Phil’s bum, until he was fully inside him which caused Phil to moan loudly and have an instant orgasm. His cum immediately started to escape from him and Stephen continued stroking him as he began to move in and out of his bum. “I told you to relax, didn’t I?”, Stephen mumbled. Phil ignored his comment and moaned again, while Stephen continued to stroke Phil’s man and move in and out of him at the same time.

By Phil’s third climax, Stephen himself, was about to have another one of his own, and as he was about to, he pulled his shaft out of Phil’s bum and shoved it roughly back in again, causing Phil to immediately tense around him. As he did, he squeezed Phil’s manhood, which made him have another intense orgasm. As the cum started to escape, he pushed his bum farther on Stephen’s shaft, enjoying every inch inside of him.

Stephen stayed in him a bit longer and after he climaxed once again, Phil turned around and started kissing him. “I see you’re feeling better.”, Stephen said, as they were kissing. “Mmm…yes, and I’m going to thank you for doing so.”, Phil replied. He then grabbed a green loofa sponge and lathered it up with liquid soap, and began to bathe Stephen. “So, I get a sponge bath as a thank you?”, Stephen asked curiously. “Oh, that’s only part of it.”, Stephen answered him, with a twinkle in his eye, which usually meant he was up to something.

Phil scrunched the loofa, causing the sudsy water to dribble down Stephen’s thin, lean body. He moved the loofa over every square inch of Stephen’s chest, covering him with thousands of thick sudsy bubbles, until he came to Stephen’s waist. Phil took his hand and slid it slowly down towards his pelvic bone, so he could continue washing him without the bathing tool, and glided his hand all the way down his full length. He grasped Stephen’s member and started feeling him. He began at the base and made long, soft strokes towards the head and back towards the base again. As he stroked him, Phil’s grasp got firmer and his strokes got faster. By this time, he could feel Stephen begin to get hard and he stopped petting him, just enough to tease him. Phil decided to give his little pet more attention in other areas, by fondling the head and his bollocks. He took his hand and cupped it around Stephen’s scrotum and started messaging them firmly, which caused Stephen to moan again, as he clenched Phil’s shoulders. Phil then moved his mouth towards the tip of Stephen’s shaft and started nibbling him playfully. Stephen felt his thigh muscles tense immediately as warm liquid began to seep out of his shaft. Phil grinned to himself and licked the tip of Stephen’s moistened shaft slowly. He then moved his tongue around the entire head and just to be mean, he squeezed Stephen’s bollocks tightly and bit down on the head, sharply, which sent Stephen over the edge. Stephen dug his nails in Phil’s shoulders and grunted loudly, as cum began to shoot in Phil’s mouth. Phil drank from him hungrily and licked his lips when he was done. Afterwards, he stood up and kissed Stephen on the mouth. “That’ll teach you to try and dominate me.”, he joked. Stephen just chuckled and kissed him back.

When the two finished their shower, they dried each other off and went to the bed to continue their visit with each other. Right when Stephen laid down on the bed, Phil covered him and began to plant kisses along his neck. He then slid one hand slowly down Stephen’s back ran it towards his smooth buttocks. He began to suck on his neck as he placed his fingers between Stephen’s bum cheeks and started rubbing the entrance hole. He stroked it softly, before inserting two fingers inside him. As he moved them in and out of him, he heard Stephen moan quietly and Phil bit down on his neck. He then spread the hole apart with his fingers and raised his hips over him and began to put his manhood into his bum. He slowly inserted him inch by inch, until he was fully inside. He still kept his fingers in him as he began to penetrate him. With each thrust he gave Stephen, he moved his fingers in and out of in in synchronizing motions and with each thrust they became harder and faster. A few minutes later, Stephen’s body tensed up and started vibrating as he moaned with an intense orgasm, followed by Phil’s climax.

It was 9:00 in the morning, that same day, when they heard a knock on the door. Only two hours had passed, since Phil and Stephen had fallen asleep and Phil woke up in a cranky mood, again. But, at least this time, it was without a hangover. “Who the bloody hell is it now?”, he yelled from the head of his bed. Stephen instantly woke up and peeked his head out from under the covers of the foot of the bed, wondering what’s going on, as Phil got out of bed. Before Phil even reached the door, the person on the other side came barging in. It was the head maid and she was highly upset, as she always was. “I’m bloody sick an’ tired of comin’ in ‘ere and cleanin’ up after you lazy bums! All week long, I work and slave and slave and work and for wha’? For frigging buggers like you? I come in like I always do, and I find rubbish all over the place! Not only do I find the house in a complete mess, but I find this…this on the floor in one of the loo’s!”, she screeched as she held up a rubber and shook it like a rag doll. “I don’ get paid enough to put up this shite, that me and me girls do! Either you wasters do something about this or I’m packin’ me things and me and the rest of the maids quit!”, the middle aged woman fumed at them.

Phil’s eyes narrowed at the woman. “One, ya don’ have the right to come bargin’ in my room like ya did, two, ya don’ even clean as much as you do and neither do ya lazy maids! Three, we pay ya too many pound notes as it is for ya plonkers, who do nothing’ but piss around and watch the bloody t.v. all day! Four, the house stays clean, because we’re the ones who clean it because you don’ know how to do your friggin’ job, like ya supposed to do! Fifthly, I don’ know who’s rubber that is, cause non’ of the guys would leave it laying around in the loo!! For all I know, it could be one of yours! And lastly, you’re fired as of this moment! I should’ve done it a long time a go, but I thought you and the others would straighten up, but I was a git, for not doing it, so get your fingers out your arse, and go!”, Phil responded sharply.

He hated having to do that, because when the cleaning group first started, they were very good, but for some reason, they started slacking off and not doing what they were supposed to do. He and the rest of the guys had talked about it several times and they were getting tired of putting up with the work’s help and wasting money on them, but they decided to give them at least three more chances to get their act together, before they did anything. But, today was the last straw. Phil and the head maid had butted heads quite often in the past before, but he just couldn’t take it any longer. No one was going to rule him in his house.

“Dam’n it all to friggin’ hell!”, Phil said as he ran his hand through his hair. “I guess we’d better start lookin’ for more help, eh?”, Stephen asked as he sat up in the bed. “Yeah. Let me grab the telephone directory and start lookin’”, Phil answered, as he sat on the bed and got the book from the shelf on the night stand.
















-bollocks: testicles
-bugger: a rude individual, or to foul up -waster: useless person
-plonker: idiot, bozo -piss around: crap around, mess around, waste time -git: jerk, bastard -get your fingers out: (of your ass??) get a move on, get going -telephone directory: telephone book

-phone number example from: http://www.ex.ac.uk/~MAPatric/sgroup/notices/phone.html