Fan Fiction ❯ Comfort: Kigai ❯ One-Shot

Kigai sank back into the leather sofa, reaching unconciously for his cigarettes. He didn't want to think about the implications of what Shima had just told him. Didn't want to think at all. Idiot, he told himself. You knew it was going to happen anyway. You always knew he wasn't yours. There was no reason for it to hurt as much as it did.

The cushions shifted as Shima settled beside him, golden head coming to rest on Kigai's shoulder, strong arms sliding around his waist. Kigai ignored him, ignored the warmth and weight of his body, the tickling of Shima's hair against his cheek. Instead, he just lit his cigarette, head tipping backwards, smoke streaming from his lips.

'There's supposed to be a celebration,' Shima said finally. 'In honor of the engagement.'

Kigai closed his eyes. Just like the one where I met you?

'I want you to come.'

Kigai shook his head, eyes still closed. 'I have too much to do,' he said, forestalling the question he knew was coming. The lie left his mouth as easily as the smoke had. Sitting up, he turned half away from the other man, bracing himself against Shima's persuasive powers.

'I don't think I can face this without you.' The admission was made quietly, the stark honesty in his voice hitting Kigai harder than anything else would have. And it hurt, oh god it hurt.

Kigai rose, steps deceptively steady. He left the room without answering, without looking back.

------------------------

Kigai stepped out in the the cool Tokyo night, the air refreshing after too much time spent inside. After he left Shima, he'd locked himself in Studio B, knowing people would assume he was on some creative kick, knowing no one, including Shima, would bother him there. He'd only come out after he was sure the other man had already left for the gala and the claustrophobia threatened to smother him.

Now he walked along the well-lit sidewalks towards his apartment, bypassing the parking garage. He was in no state to drive, and he didn't want to touch the car anyway. It'd been a present from Shima upon his return from England, and that first night he got back they'd - no, don't think about that. Don't think at all.

The walk home was short and uneventful, nighttime Tokyo sliding past him like a hazy neon dream. Before he knew it he was home, key sliding into the lock, door slamming behind him. It was dark, he noted. Dorei must be sleeping. Without bothering to turn on the light, he kicked off his shoes and entered the living room. Flicking the television on as he passed by, he sprawled on the couch. From the corner of his eye he saw Dorei slink in the kitchen. Must have woken him up.

"This is Mishima Taia live at the Heiwa Corporation banquet hall. The gala behind me is being held in honor of the engagement of Heiwa Inori and Yutaka Shima," proclaimed the cheerful woman on the screen. Great. Just what he fucking needed.

"Rumours have been flying around about this couple for quite some time but now it has been officially confirmed. This marriage will bring together two of the largest media companies in all of Japan - there's the happy couple now!"

Shima's face filled the screen.

'Hey, Kigai,' Dorei said from somewhere along the wall to his right, 'don't you have a thing for Shima?' Kigai barely heard him.

The camera panned out to include the slender, blue-haired girl at Shima's side. Both of them wore polite camera-friendly smiles and held hands gingerly. Something inside Kigai clenched painfully. Don't think about it, he told himself again. Let it go. Let him go.

'Eh, don't worry about it, Kigai,' Dorei went on, seemingly oblivious to the storm in Kigai's head. 'There'll be another guy. Or girl. Or whatever sashays your way on two legs.' A moment later, the younger man turned away from the television, searching unsucessfully for something in his clothing. Probably cigarettes.

Kigai ran a hand through his hair, wondering for a moment why he kept the other man around. He could swing the apartment on his own, really, but Dorei needed a place to stay. And the oaf /did/ have his uses... In fact, Kigai decided, he could be useful right about now.

He stood, sliding his pack from his pocket as he went. Surprised eyes rose to meet his own as he slipped a cigarette into Dorei's mouth, snapped his lighter, and held the flame to the tip. Kigai ignored the incredulity in the other man's face as he pressed pack and lighter both in his hands and began to head back to the sofa, waiting for the reaction.

'Jeez, Kigai... this is really getting to you, isn't it?'

The words stopped Kigai dead. Hadn't expected that. He turned back towards Dorei, narrowed eyes raking the other man from head to toe. He moved in on Dorei, close enough to share breath.

'Is what getting to me?' he asked, tone deliberately absent. Leaning forward he let his right hand skim lightly up the side of Dorei's face before tangling in his hair, his other hand reaching up to remove the dangling cigarette. He put it out as he slid even closer, pressing a wet openmouthed kiss just beneath Dorei's ear. Pulling back, he traced the other's lips with abstract fingers, the tips slipping down his face, his body, pausing for a premeditated moment at the juncture between his legs.

Then he backed away, and went to his bedroom, knowing Dorei would follow. Dorei would help him stop thinking. Dorei would let him narrow the world down to flesh and movement, sweat and skin. At the moment, it was all he wanted.

END.