Fan Fiction ❯ Cupid's Mistake ❯ Chapter Five: Screw writing titles. ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five: Screw Writing Titles.

Four hours. Not only of walking, but an electric silence. Four hours of nothing but spiders in your pants and brushing with bare arms by God knew what kind of plants.

Dante was going to go insane. What was WITH this chick? She just spurned all of his efforts to become friendly. And he felt that he had been doing something incorrectly, anyways. For some reason, whenever she addressed him in any subject, carefully planned words just flew out of his head. Which was amazing, considering he had never lost his cool with anyone before, male or female. Fiercely, Dante studied Artemis, his jaw tensing. What was so special about her anyways? She was bitter, mean, sadistic, and not even GOOD LOOKING!!!

Well, okay. So she was good looking. But when coupled with that attitude towards him, how could he ever win her over??

"So. Artemis…how did you get into ESRecon?" He attempted, and she might have twitched with annoyance at the sound of his voice-it was hard to tell. He was fighting off a large fern.

"Agents," She replied, her words…or word…businesslike and brisk. More silence. Dante waited patiently, picking bits of green leaf off of his borrowed ESRecon uniform. There was bound to be more, if he knew people at all. And he knew people. "They tracked me throughout high school and recruited me as soon as I graduated. That simple."

"You were that good, huh?" He asked, honeycoating. She caught on right away and only gave him a look out of the corners of her eyes that showed displeasure. Dante knocked it off right away. Sincerity? Sure, he could do sincerity.

Sort of. While lying at the same time.

"My dad left when I was really young," He started, running a hand sheepishly through his dark hair, striding up beside the other spy. "And my mom's sick…plus I have two little sisters. Twins-Amalia and Angelie." And letting his lips curve into a happy sort of smile, he almost forgot Artemis was there.

She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, wondering just what he was getting at. Trying to get on her good side? Small talk, maybe? He smiled, then, that drop dead gorgeous smile of his, that smile that he smiled when he thought no one was looking-sincere, loyal--and she quickly looked ahead again.

How utterly silly. A smile. Pfft.

"A friend,"--Dante continued, inwardly wincing at how loosely he termed the inside agent-"found me a quick position at ESRecon, and well…here I am! It's good money…And I was trained to do it…"

Artemis looked up at him again and offered somewhat of a smile. He didn't seem to remember where he was-his mind was far away with his family. She decided not to touch him there.

Until…

"Fern."

Smack.

"OW! DAMMIT!"

~*~*~*~

It was getting late. Dark, even. Dante's legs hurt, but there was no way he would admit it. Not to her. Artemis's head hurt. But there was no way she'd admit it. Not to him.

"We're not honestly going to trek all night, are we?" Dante asked suddenly, hoping to God they wouldn't be. Artemis shrugged.

"Maybe."

"Okay. You can trek all night. As for me, I'm finding somewhere to spend the night."

"In a jungle full of nasty animals and the kinds of bugs that kill you with one sting? Spend the night? Okay. Go ahead."

He didn't move. She raised an eyebrow at him. Stubborn rookie.

"Alright, then." And he turned around and disappeared into the dusky shadows. Artemis earnestly hoped he'd get eaten by a lion. Or something.

However, she didn't move. He was bound to come back, and if she just left him to be lost that could put her in serious shit. Eventually he'd get tired of whining and stumble back, right?

~*~*~*~

"'Oh, Dante, this one's right up your alley!' Sure boss, sure…send me on a weird mission to retrieve some big diamond from loincloths with a sadistic psycho bitch-three bullets!!!-can't believe it at all…--three!!!-`Fern', my ass…."

He paused, in his frustration batting his hair out of his eyes and looking around.

Crack.

To whirl.

Dante stared into the darkness, frozen in place, his eyes narrowing suddenly. There was someone here. No, eight someones.

And with a sudden cry, a body launched itself on top of him. And then another, and then two more. Fighting fiercely, satisfaction in his manner as he heard the cracking of bones.

And then a prick in his side. Another at the base of his neck. Such lovely colors-how could he see them, hadn't the sun just set? And each of the natives seemed to have no faces, their hands releasing him and their nimble feet dancing away from his struggling motions to get at them. He tried to say something, his voice was slurred.

What a pity Arty-e-mis isn't here, he thought. She would have liked to waste eight or so bullets.

And then he sunk into unconsciousness.

~*~*~*~

After thirty minutes, Artemis decided he wasn't coming back. Reluctantly, she sighed and stomped off in the direction her partner had taken.

"Can't do anything…incompetent idiot….!" She muttered fiercely, switching her sunglasses to night vision mode and taking out her gun just in case. "Needs to be at home with a babysitter, not on an important mission-how did he ever pass the academy?-stupid, egotistical jerk…"

There was a crackle of leaves behind her. Artemis froze, cocking back the safety of her gun without a sound, turning her head slowly enough to catch a purple infrared shape before it ducked into the brush. And another sound! There, in front of her. Automatically, reflexively, she dropped to the ground, hearing with satisfaction as the darts whizzed above her head. She quickly snatched a flare out of her utility belt, slamming it into her gun, and fired once in the air, snapping back the lock and using her momentum from the shot to do a backwards somersault onto her feet, back against a tree, away from the light.

Silence now, except for the burning of the flare. She knew she didn't have long until it burned right out, and that's when she made a terrible mistake.

She glanced around the tree, moved her left hand three inches to the right on the trunk, and pricked her finger with a previously imbedded dart.

The last thing she remembered seeing before she blacked out was a heavily tanned hand coming down at her throat.

"Hey, hey, up and at `em."

Artemis frowned through her sleep, dimly thinking that that was a very cliché thing to say. Someone was patting her cheek, trying to wake her up. Another dim thought: Whoever's slapping me has not the faintest idea of the meaning of the word gentle.

"Come on. You've been out like a light for nearly the whole day…you must've put up a fight, they dosed you pretty heavy. Don't you know how to play dead?"

"I'll show you dead if you don't quit slapping me, you idiot," she snarled and opened her eyes to a crouching Dante, a shock of his hair falling into his eyes, a smug smile on his face.

"Good. You're back to normal."

"Where the hell are we?" She tried to lift a hand to her head, and then realized her hands were in fact handcuffed to her ankles.

"Don't know. Here. Let me get that." He pulled a small lockpick from a side pocket on his right boot, and set to work on the heavy chains. Artemis, under normal circumstances, would have protested, but it was kind of impossible to pick any sort of thing with a lockpick that was in a back pocket of your pants when your nose was being ground into your knees. As soon as Dante finished and put away the pick, she sat back, rubbing her wrists.

"Thank you." Calm, brief, businesslike. Dante rolled his eyes and stood. She got a good look at their enclosure.

It seemed to be a small stone building, primitively built, with one tiny medieval slit in the wall to let in air and a minimum of light. The door was heavy, closely fitted in with the rock of the walls, which was a drab and ugly grey. If she wasn't mistaken, that was a giant blood spot near the "window".

"Nice place. I like it." Dante said casually, and Artemis tried to stand, but found her legs quite immobile.

"What the…?" She began, and he blinked down at her.

"Oh. They might've overdosed you some…oops. It kinda makes you wish youd've played dead, huh?"

OOPS? She was deprived of the use of her legs for who knew HOW long, and all he could say was OOPS?

"I had an antidote in my belt…but…they took almost everything away from us…so…just gonna have to deal with it. Should wear off in a day or two…"

"Pardon? A day or two?"

Dante smiled a thin lipped smile, his eyes flashing sarcastically.

"That's what I said. Don't worry, we have plenty of time! This tribe of Indians doesn't usually kill their prisoners, it tends to leave them locked up until they starve and die." He looked cheerful, grinning at her, and frowned-then she froze. "What is it?"

"Someone's coming," She said, and he stopped moving as well. Wow, her hearing was excellent-he would have attributed those sounds to animals.

"Would it be too much an insult to your pride if I had to carry you?" He asked, more of that cynicism dripping from every word. Artemis bristled, but didn't reply. He took that as a no-and then the door burst open.

Four pairs of very muscley, ropy arms quickly subdued Dante, pinning him to the ground. Artemis tensed, wiping her face and eyes of expression as a rather portly man who could only be the chief walked imperiously in and surveyed the prison. He seemed to fill it completely, with his huge stomach and his decorative feathers floating everywhere. Dante sneezed as one landed on his nose, and the man snapped his head around, fixing two beady, black eyes on his with no small contempt.

"Kill that one!" He said calmly in the native language, then turned his eyes to Artemis, frowning. She made no movement, but from personal experience and from research knew it wasn't smart to look a chieftain straight in the eyes for any reason at all. She respectfully focused on his left shoulder, where a particularly large and obnoxious feather was set.

"Um, wait," Dante started, and his captors started in surprised then tightened their grip. Artemis glowered at him-here went the rookie again, ruining everything. Couldn't he see she could handle this?! "I speak your language! We come in peace…not to cause trouble!!"

Everyone looked shocked; Artemis and the chief most of all.

"You speak like you were born here Release him…this may prove to be interesting."

Thereby ensued a long and very rapid conversation between the native chief and Dante-the-previously-thought-stupid, at the end of which both seemed friendly as if they had met as children.

After the others had left, Dante flopped down in the smack middle of the cell and let out a deep breath, panting for air.

"Wow! That was definitely not only the most frightening thing EVER, but I completely forgot I spoke that…"

"What did he say?" Artemis asked, crossing her arms over her chest, bracing herself for the worst.

"Oh. Well. I asked about your legs, and he said it would take two days…then some stuff about how pretty you were, and asked if we were in a…um…relationship, and I said no…" He paused here, taking a little time to chuckle, adding an attractive smile for good measure. Seeing this had no effect on his stony-faced partner, however, he went back to his story. "And then he asked if he could marry you tomorrow, and I said sure, what the heck, she's a nuisance anyways…"

"WHAT?!" This was the part, now, where regardless of useless legs or not, Artemis tried to claw Dante's eyes out. He hurriedly scooted to the far end of the cell.

"Whoa, babe, chill out-I've got it all under control."

"You've got three minutes, you stupid idiot! And it better be good, Goddamnit!"

"Sure. Anyways. We wait till tomorrow morning, then I figure I can knock out someone in your wedding party, grab you, and we can go-I have a pretty good hunch where our belts are, and the antidote to your…situation."

My God, how she hated him at that moment, when he smiled his smug smile again! She wished he was dead, and swore that if they ever got out of this alive, she would kill him herself.

"That is the stupidest plan I have ever heard. There are too many variables. And don't call me babe."

"Okay--it may sound stupid to you, but I have it very nicely planned out, and there's no way it could fail. Just leave it up to me…"

This is my chance to prove myself, to show her I'm every bit as good as she is…conceited witch…

...even the best plans fail, and his is by no means the best…egotistical jerk…

"Whatever. You better not mess up, or there's going to be one of my bullets in your head. Clear?"

"Crystal, chicka."

And with that last word, she lobbed her chains at him as hard as she could.