Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Crystal Bloopers ❯ The Immaturity I have in my Brain... ( Chapter 1 )

Dark Crystal Outtakes

God, yes, I was bored and/or hyper and/or tired, so excuse the 'wierder' ones. I don't own anything to DC (that belongs to Jim Henson and Co.) I wish I owned them... This is purely for humor and enjoyment, and I make no money off this.

Scene 1- The Ur-ru 'call' Jen

*5 of the Ur-ru are 'calling'

6th Ur-ru~ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNIN!!!!!

*All stare*

6~ *starts dancing crazily*

Director~ *slaps head* ok....we've been through this take what? 13 times now?? NEXT!

(This one is dedicated to Justin! You know who you are!! *hugs*)

Scene- Jen running on boards at Mystic Home

Jen~ *running, but trips and falls* Ow...

*Ur-ru pics up cane and laughs*

Director~ Stop making him trip!!

Scene- Emperor Dies

*Emperor is dying*

E~ I, I...I. am. still. emperor...I...*chokes and dies*

*All Skeksis lean closer as emperor decomposes*

*Suddenly, by some unseen force, the emperor recomposes and jumps at them screaming*

All Skeksis~ AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *run away*

E~ Hehehehehehehe....

Director~ CUT! That's the fifth time today he's done that! Someone go strap him down!

*crashing and shrieks are heard*

Scene- The Crystal Calls

*All gather around the crystal*

All~ *GASP*

*Jen is shown climbing...but the image fizzles out*

General~ Huh?

*Skeksis porn comes on*

All~ Ooooooo.....

Director~ Cut! Who put porn in the vid feed?!?! *glares*

*Aughra is heard snickering*

Director~ *groans* why me?

Scene- The Skeksis Dinner

General/Emperor~ Dessert! Crawlies!

*One of the crawlies hops out and starts running across the table*

Scientist~ *picks it up* Oh, Fluffy! Where have you been? I've been looking for you! *pets it*

Crawlie(Fluffy)~ *happy squeaking*

Director~ Why, oh WHY did he have to be an ANIMAL lover?!?

Scene- Aughra and the Skeksis

General/Emperor~ This is no Gelfling!!

Aughra~ Of course I'm no Gelfling! *goes over to Garthim*

A~ Stupid Garthim. *hits it*

*The Garthim falls apart*

A~ O.O Sorry! Sorry!

Director~ Cut! And go get the guy that was supposed to be in the suit! Where is he?

*Guy supposed to be in suit is flirting with the makeup lady*

Director~ God**** Harvey! Get back in your suit!!

(I dunno if there was an actor named Harvey, I just like the name)

Scene- Jen and Kira Sleeping

*camera pulls down*

Jen and Kira~ *snogging*

Director~ YOU GUYS!!!

J&K~ *pull away quickly* oops...

*Fizzgig is just not there*

Scene- Fizzgig Can't Go On A Landstrider

Kira~ No, no Fizzgig, you stay here. Doile.

*Fizzgig's eyes widen, and opens his mouth to scream*

F~ *BEALCH...*

K&J~ Eeeewwwww....*Jen wrinkles his nose*

Director~ Cut!

Landstrider scene, take two!

K~ No, no Fizzgig, you stay here. Doile.

*Fizzgig doesn't move*

K~ Uh, ok...

*Fizzgig launches himself at the landstrider, chaos ensues*

Director~ CUT! Jen! Stop laughing! Someone call the ASPCA!

Landstrider scene, take three!

K~ No, no Fizzgig, you stay here. Doile.

*Fizzgig's eyes widen, he pauses...*

F~ *In reeeeally deep voice* uh, what was my line again?

Director~ *tearing at his hair* Will they EVER gat this right? *dramatically* For the love of God and pocky, just go to the next scene!!

Scene- The Scientist Drains The Podling

*Camera pulls down*

S~ *playing with the animals*(using baby talk) ooh, aren't YOU such a cutie, yes you are! Yes you are!

*animal chitters happily*

Director~ CUT! Cut cut cut cut cut!!

I think I've milked this for all it's worth at the moment...