Fan Fiction ❯ Dear Ana ❯ Dear Ana ( One-Shot )

Dear Ana

By Kawaii_Cherry_Blossom

(I was BellaWaterFlower when I wrote this)

You probably won't actually understand this story until the very end… LoL! But anywayz… I'm pleased with it. Oh, the song is called 'Open Fire (Ana's Song)' and it's by Silverchair. I don't own the song but the story is mine! So don't take it. Enjoy! J

Please die, Ana

For as long as you're here, we're not

You make the sound of laughter

And sharpened nails seem softer

Dear Ana,

I write this with a handgun next to me. Soon, I will be no more. Just a memory. Just a lifeless body in the ruins of my so called 'life'. I had to get my feelings down though, Ana, before I did it. I've kept them bottled up for far too long now. You see, Ana, this is all your fault. It's all your fault I am this way. All yours. I've wished death upon you for some time now. I've pleaded for it. But it never came. So I have given up. When you are present, Ana, I am no longer. You shroud the true me in darkness and take over my body. Then, you make it seem like everything is fine. Like my life's all great. But it isn't, and you know it. You know it, Ana.

And I need you now somehow

And I need you now somehow

I've wondered so many times what I would be without you, Ana. It's very hard to imagine it; you've been with me for a very long time now. Looking back on all the times we've been through, all the times of pain and discontentment, I can see that I needed you. Somehow in this cruel, twisted world, no matter how much I despised you, I needed you to ease the pain. This doesn't mean I liked you one bit. After all, it was your fault I went through all those times of pain and discontentment. But I couldn't change what happened; I couldn't change you coming into my life. And I didn't. No matter how bad everything was, you made it all seem fine. All of it, Ana.

Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you

Open fire on my knee's desires

What I need from you

I seem to have been designed for you, Ana. It's like you were meant to be with me; like I was meant to beg for you. This whole time, I obeyed you, I did everything you asked me to. No questions asked. My needs seemed to be only those of which you could provide. Only from you, Ana.

Imagine pageant

In my head the flesh seems thicker

Sandpaper tears

Corrode the film

I've been bad today, Ana. I thought I should tell you before I pass to Heaven or Hell. You see, I ate a whole chocolate bar. A whole bar! All that fat. But I couldn't care today. I'm fat now, Ana. And I can say that it's your fault, because you are the one who did this to me. You are the one that ruined me. My tears are blurring my eyesight now, Ana. So I'm not sure if you'll be able to read my writing. This reminds me of the way you covered my life. You told me not to listen to anyone but you. And I did that. You kept me from the ones who loved me. The ones who loved me, Ana.

And I need you now somehow

And I need you now somehow

I've needed you, Ana, but I need you no more. I want you to be away from me. I never want to hear of you ever again. You've hurt me too many times. Now my heart is merely a beating organ that pumps blood. It has no spirit, no will. And do you know why, Ana? It's because I haven't been listening to my heart. You cut off my connection. I listened to you instead. It's all your fault, Ana. All your fault.

Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you

Open fire on my knee's desires

What I need from you

I needed to experience so much more in life. But you came and threw me off course. I seemed to be going backwards in everything. Everything became different. You moved in on me and changed it all. It was all you then, Ana. All you.

And you're my obsession

I love you to the bones

And Ana wrecks your life

Like an Anorexia life

I remember being totally obsessed with you, Ana. I loved you more than life. More than my own precious life. I should have realised before it was too late. But I didn't. And you came and look over my life like the sun takes over the moon at the dawn of a new day. And then it was the trip to the hospital. They told me that it was all in my head. That I see things that aren't there. I told them I was fat, but they didn't listen. They just took me to the councillor. I didn't need a shrink, Ana! I needed you gone! It's too late now though. They couldn't know anyway. They have no idea. They just pick up fat and eat it. It's disgusting. Purely sickening. I screamed and cried at them to look at me closely, then they would see that I'm too fat and can't eat anything. They still didn't listen. They told me the same thing. That it was all in my mind. That I have a disorder. What did they tell me I had again? Anorexia, I think it was called. But I knew it wasn't true. How could it possibly be correct if what you were telling me was different? It couldn't. I was confused. Should I believe the doctors and my own family, or should I believe you? I believed you. They weren't right were they, Ana? You promised me they were wrong. You promised.

Open fire on the needs designed

On my knees for you

Open fire on my knee's desires

What I need from you

So I reach the end of what I have to say, and I turn to the gun. I will point it at my head, so that I also kill you, Ana, and all your screaming voices. They say suicide isn't the right thing to do. That it's the easy way out. But for me… I have no other options. It's the only way for me. To my family and friends - I'm sorry it had to end this way. Please don't be sad. You know I love you, and I'll be watching over you. I will see you when your time is up, too. I'm going to finally meet grandma. I hope she'll be pleased to see me. And there will be no Ana with me. I will be content again. None. Ana, I say not thankyou but that I'm happy to be getting away from you. You will haunt my life no longer. I will be normal. No more voices telling me what to do. Just a normal person. Something I've longed to be for so long. Goodbye now, Ana. I hate you, and will always hate you, even when I'm gone. I want you to remember those four words, Ana. Even when I'm gone.

THE END

Hmmm, I never revealed if it was a male or female talking. Oh well! It's what you want it to be. If you haven't already realised, Ana isn't a person, it's the disorder, Anorexia. The whole time the person was talking about Anorexia. Anorexia is a very serious disease. It makes you think you're fat, making you not eat. And in some cases, the person is hysterically allergic to fat. It's a horrible disorder. I hope none of you have to or are going through it. I, of course, don't know what it's like to have Anorexia. It could be totally different to what I've written… If you have any questions about this story, e-mail me or put it in a review!

Ciao! Luv THA princess.