Fan Fiction ❯ Espoir ❯ Revelations of Thought - Un ( Chapter 13 )

Title: Espoir

 

Summary: As Earth enters it's final stage of existance, humanity attempts one last stance to save themselves. An experiement that had been studied since the beginning of Earth's destruction is put into action. Project Espoir 1 has begun...

 

Rating: PG-13+

 

Genre: Drama, Action, Post-Apocalyptic.

 

Chapter Thirteen

Revelations of Thought - Un

 

How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager-I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?

- Soren Kierkegaard

 

The memorial services for Craig Stone went by in the blink of an eye.

 

Just like in all other Espoir deaths, all soldiers were gathered in a open square in Centra. There was no body as it had been shipped off to the fallen's family. Instead, a small picture of the soldier sat on a little table.

 

Clergy of whatever the soldier's faith gave a small sermon before there was a moment of silence for the dead. Craig really didn't have a chosen faith but his background of Methodist Christian so that was how the service went.

 

Eventually, it was proven that the baby Craig had rescued was, in fact, his child. The boy, Brett, was shipped back to America to live with Craig's mother.

 

Although there wasn't much of a impact in Tokyo, apparently the death of Craig Stone was a very well-talked about matter. In particular, sportscasters all showed their sorrow at seeing such a great athlete dying without ever meeting his potential. However, like with everything, the craze eventually died down and Craig drifted back into the void of unreleased talent.

 

Centra-Tokyo fell into a bit of a quiet period. It wasn't completely for the mourning of Craig. It was more like reality had once again caught up with the soldiers and smacked them right in the jaw.

 

Of all the Espoir soldiers, Craig Stone had always been the one that seemed invincable. He was one of the fastest, strongest, and smartest soldiers in camp and he was also the leader of the group. Everyone knew that if Craig Stone could fall on the battlefield, any of them could be next.

 

The reality stung more than the enemy ever did.

 

Kane Kisho was apponted as the new team leader. He accepted the responsibility quietly. He knew that he could never replace Craig but he would still give his hardest for the others.

 

The world continued to turn and the sun continued to shine but for the soldiers of Centra-Tokyo, it never seemed darker or slower.

 

espoir

 

The dark building had always been a sad and frightening sight. It seemed like there was never enough lights in the building and the people... The people were some of the most dreadful humans Kuris had ever been forced to endure.

 

However, the trip to the mental ward had become a daily routine for Kuris. It seemed like he'd been having to go to the ward for years when it had only been about a month or so. Still, Kuris hated it every, single time.

 

The small couch Kuris was forced to lay on felt like a hard piece of concrete pressing firmly into the small of his back. He looked up at the blandly colored cieling, trying to trace the cracks as he listened to the 'doctor' speak to him in that horrible, monotonic voice he always used.

 

The man cleared his throat and began speaking once more, causing Kuris to grit his teeth angrily. "So, I heard that the recent invasion was successful." Kuris forced himself not to lash out at the man, shout at him for his ignorance and mocking voice. He remained quiet as the doctor continued, "How did it go for you?"

 

Kuris sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "About the same as the others."

 

"Did it, now?" The doctor's voice carried that terrible little bit of mocking that Kuris could always detect. "I heard that you witnessed a casualty first hand. Want to tell me about that?"

 

He couldn't say no. He could never say no. The damned doctor would just go on and on until Kuris would spill his guts just to get him to shut up. "I saw one of my friends die. It hurt."

 

"Did you really see him die?"

 

Kuris thought for a moment and frowned, "No." The doctor was quiet, waiting for him to continue. "Craig told me to leave."

 

"And you did as he asked? Why?"

 

Kuris blinked a few times, his heart began to beat faster. "Craig asked me to."

 

"Why didn't you stay to protect him?"

 

"I..." Kuris closed his eyes and grit his teeth. "He kept telling me to go and I... I heard them. I could hear them coming. They were making that sound. That horrible, horrible whispering."

 

"So you left Craig to die?"

 

"I did as he asked." His heart rate increased, to the point where Kuris thought it would burst from his chest. "I ran away because he told me to. He wanted me to leave."

 

"Did he really want you to leave?" The doctor shifted in his seat, "Do you really think Craig thought he could survive alone? Does anyone really want to die?"

 

The words felt like a million needles stabbing Kuris. He had left Craig to die because he was... "I was scared."

 

"You were scared?"

 

"I ran away because I was scared." Kuris thought it was impossiblr but somehow his heart beat faster. Sweat appeared on his forhead and dripped into his eyes, making them burn. "I was a coward. I ran away because I was frightened and didn't want to die. Just like so many times before." Kuris grit his teeth. No one else was in the room. He was alone, speaking out load to his own mind. "Just like my father."

 

"Tell me about your father, Kuris."

 

"My father is a coward. A worthless little weakling." In reality, Kuris could barely even remember his father. He'd left when Kuris was barely two years old. His mother had always said that he was a coward and had left because he was too frightened of responsibility. Kuris and his mother had endured so much pain because of his father. He'd ran away, not even thinking about the troubles that it would cause for his wife and son. "I hate my father"

 

"You say you ran away like your father."

 

"He is a coward. He runs from anything that is even the least bit frightening." Kuris clenched his hands into fists and opened his eyes. They were red and bloodshot. "I refuse to be like him."

 

The doctor nodded and stood. He checked his watch and looked down at his patient, "Our time is up. I'll see you again tomorrow, Kuris." with that, the doctor left Kuris to lay on the couch. Thoughts swam in circle in Kuris' head. It was a good few minutes before Kuris finally stood and made his way out of the ward and into the bright, sunny day.

 

espoir

 

Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left....

 

The combinations were continuing and concrete. Unbreakable and undeniable. Unlike most things in Kane's life right now.

 

His fists slammed hard into the punching bag in the same order. One hand then the next. It had been a long time since Kane had taken his anguish out on the punching bag but he was letting it all out now.

 

How had Kane come into such a thing as this?

 

Kane could remember back in the day when he was nothing but a hopeful street thug with big dreams and bright ideals.

 

He could remember fighting people on the street, thinking that he was somehow making life better. That somehow he was instilling hope into the lives of others.

 

Now, he was a soldier fighting the very thing that was terrorizing humanity. He was actually fighting for the people and yet, he had never felt like he was making less of a difference.

 

It seemed like every time the soldiers set out to stop a attack, it did nothing. Sure, they killed a good amount of the enemy and perhaps saved a few lives but was it really helping? Was it slowing down The Judges? Had they even noticed that they were being targeted?

 

Now he was the leader of those people. He was the person that was supposed to instill courage into the fighters and ultimately lead them to victory.

 

How could he possibly do that when he couldn't put that courage into his own heart?

 

Kane hit the bag harder, grunting as he felt his knuckle crack as he hit it wrong. He grimanced as he thought of what would be of his fist if that had been a real person's skull.

 

Memories came drifting back to Kane like flocks of birds to a lone cedar. He could remember the shouts of the crowd as they watched the two brawlers fighting for nothing more than a few bucks and pride. He could feel the pain as each blow landed on his body. He could smell the blood and sweat and he could see.

 

He could see his enemy. One man with the same intentions as Kane, squaring off for no other reason than to give the crowd a show. To help the people press on with their lives even though they were on the brink of surrender. To save the world despite never facing off against the true enemy.

 

How was it that Kane felt as though he was helping the planet more then than he is now?

 

Kane delivered a few more shots to the 'torso' of the bag, grunting as he felt his muscles contract as he did so.

 

Was Espoir really making that much of a difference? The death rate caused by The Judges hadn't really depleted a whole lot. The damage is about the same. About all they were doing was giving the people something to hope for.

 

False hope.

 

The soldiers were risking their lives to make the people of Earth feel somewhat safer. They really weren't that much safer than they were before. Did feeling safe really help?

 

Was fighting on the front lines and fighting on the streets really that much different?

 

On the streets, Kane had to face the fear of a broken bone or strained muscle. Fighting for Espoir, Kane faces the risks of dying a seemingly needless death by the hands of thing that Kane didn't even understand.

 

Were these people, Kane's friends and comrades, dying for something that didn't even matter? The thought of that felt like all the blows Kane had taken in his life coming back for seconds.

 

Kane delivered one more smack to the upper-area of the bag before backing off and rubbing his forehead with a towel. He sighed and looked out the window at the blue sky.

 

Did anyone out there really care about them?

 

espoir

 

The list just continued to grow and grow and his lust just went right along with it.

 

Bray rested his aching back against his lumpy futon, his eyes staring blankly up at the bland cieling above him. Alone with his thoughts and emotions, Bray somehow felt more in company than he ever did.

 

The Judges.

 

They were the one thing that Bray hated more than anything else. They were the one thing Bray wanted to destroy beyond everything else. They were the one thing keeping Bray alive with vengeance.

 

And that lust for vengeance seemed to get larger and larger with each passing moment.

 

It'd all started with the destruction of his home and family. That day had began Bray's hatred for The Judges and for life itself. That day had thrust Bray into a seemingly never-ending void of despair and anguish.

 

The Judges had killed his adoptive parents and now they were taking his friends.

 

First it was Jurgen that they took from the battlefield and most recently, Craig. They world never stop until all of Bray's friends and comrades were dead before him and he was alone to face his demons.

 

Bray reached down under his mattress and brought out the small photograph. He looked at the photo sadley, looking over the asian features of the oriental couple in the picture. His eyes didn't pause anywhere near the little African boy sitting in their laps.

 

How was it that Bray was still alive and the two people, the only two people that he'd ever loved had died? How was it that he was chosen to live while two much better human beings were put to death?

 

Who was it that decided these things? Who chose who would live and die and what was their reasons for the decision?

 

Was it just strange coincidence that Bray had been out of town the day The Judges had come? Was the God that Sean preached about all the time really out there? Was he really this heartless and evil to leave Bray alone to fight off his lusts?

 

Where was the reasoning?

 

Would Bray ever get the chance to avenge his family? Would he ever be able to die peacefully with the knowledge that he'd done something to help the dead?

 

His large hand came up to rub his red eyes. A slight bit of moisture was noticable near his lids and he wiped it away without another thought before returning the picture to his mattress.

 

All he wanted was a chance.

 

One little chance was all he needed to get the revenge he so craved. Just one moment to take away all his despair and misery and to put his loved ones' souls to rest.

 

Then he could join them in peace.

 

Would that chance ever arrive? Was he destined to go on searching for this closure until the hands of fate finally claimed his unfinished life?

 

Bray gritted his teeth and stood. With one quick motion, Bray slammed his fist into the wall. The plaster shattered and blood poured from Bray's hand.

 

He pulled away and sat back down on his bed.

 

When would his time finally arrive? How much longer would he have to wait? How much longer did he have to go on pushing forward?

 

When would the questions finally end?

 

espoir

 

What are you doing?!

 

He felt suck to his stomach and the taste of vomit was heavy in his mouth. His hands were bleeding from his nails digging into his flesh and there were large bags under his eyes.

 

Sean knelt down before the toilet and dry heaved once more. He gritted his teeth as his stomach contorted in unfamiliar actions, causing pain to knot throughout his body.

 

"What the hell are You doing?" He spoke outload even though no one seemed to be around. However, Sean knew who he was speaking to. "What's wrong with You?"

 

Sean spit onto the ground and looked up at the cieling in anger. He hadn't been so frustrated since he was a teenager and Sean wasn't about to just let it all slide again.

 

"Where are You?! Aren't You supposed to be helping us? Why are You letting this happen?" He coughed violently and shook his head, "Why is everyone dying? Aren't You supposed to be protecting us?!"

 

Tears of anger began to form in the corner of Sean's eyes as he once again shoved his hand down his throat and felt the vomit rise to the top of his mouth. He let the disgusting liquid flow into the toilet as he cried out in pain.

 

He spat again and clenched his jaw, "I've devoted my life to You and is this how You repay me? By letting me watch as my friends die and the planet fall to shit?! Look at what I am!"

 

His stomach was killing him but Sean would not stop forcing himself to throw up. It was the only thing that made his inner pain seem lesser. By putting his body through such hell, it was helping him overcome his mental pain.

 

Now, he was working on the spiritual part.

 

Sean had been a devoted Christian since he was thirteen years old. He'd decided in his late teens that he wanted to help others find what he'd found and had began going to school to become a pastor.

 

He was on the vacation of his sophmore year when The Judges had destroyed the city that held his collage thus beginning Sean's painful life. It wasn't long after that that he'd been inducted into Espoir.

 

He'd held true to his faith the entire time. He'd gone through some rough spots but had overcome each one. However, none had been quite as big and painful as this one.

 

Sean spat again and fell back onto the ground. He was becoming dizzy and felt weak. He cursed as he rubbed his eyes and gazed up at the darkly lit room.

 

"Where are You?" Sean rasped quietly as he blinked slowly, trying to clear his eyes.

 

The questions had just come pouring in ever since news of Craig's death had come. He'd found himself questioning all his beleifs. He'd tried cutting himself in a attempt to ease the pain but found it to be too much of a hassle. He'd never been too fond of blood. That was when he began gagging himself.

 

It hurt. After a few times, Sean felt like he had nothing left but continued. His stomach contorted and knotted itself, trying to get whatever else it had out of the system but it only caused more pain.

 

Sean brought his hand up to his lips in an attempt to do it once more but found himself to weak to even open his lips.

 

His head fell back onto the floor, causing it to bang hard against the ground. His vision became even darker and blurrier and his mind began to whirl.

 

Where was God? Why wasn't He helping the soldiers? Why was He letting everything happen?

 

What was the point? That was a question that seemed even harder to answer than the very meaning of life, something that also seemed to be quite unimportant at the moment.

 

Sean spat and coughed quietly. His vision was growing darker and darker by the seconds and he could feel himself begin to pass out.

 

He opened his mouth and with the last bit of strength, tried to speak. "God, I need answers. Help me.... us..."

 

With that, Sean lay unconcious on the floor of his bathroom. Broken and tired, he lay completely open to his God's will.

 

espoir

 

Life was a shock all in itself.

 

That was a fact that Kei had only recently discovered.

 

From birth, the human being is dealt more shocking instances than anything else in it's life. It was a surprise that a creature can make it's way through life with even a little bit of mental stability left.

 

Kei had been given a good amount of those shocks in just a few months.

 

From her surprise induction to Espoir, to the knowledge of her defect, to finding out the true purpose of Espoir, and to the death of each person who'd died in the program. Kei was surprised at how well she'd handled everything.

 

Before Espoir, Kei has been a simple little girl. She'd lived under the protective shield of her father who she'd always thought would protect her no matter what.

 

Now there was no way for her father to protect her. Kei had barely been able to keep in contact with her family, only through letters sent to and fro.

 

Apparently, her family were now living quite a way's west of Tokyo. They were getting along fine but 'worried sick' about her. Her father had said he would try to visit as soon as possible but there were things that had to be done there first.

 

She was getting by okay. She thought she was. Aside from all the shocks and surprises that had gone along with the job, Kei had been going just fine.

 

However, there was one thing that scared Kei more than anything else.

 

Death.

 

Craig Stone was the person that everyone beleived would be the last one to fall. Everyone always assumed he would be the person running the victory flag over the battlefield, leading the final charge to destroy the enemy.

 

Now with him gone, that spot was vacant.

 

There was no one else that Kei could picture leading the world to victory. Perhaps that meant that there may not be a victory. Perhaps all that the world had to wait for was defeat at the hands of The Judges.

 

And defeat from The Judges only meant death.

 

If Craig could die so easily on the battlefield then Kei could certaintly go much easier. She was no where near was strong, fast, or courageous as Craig.

 

No one was.

 

Was she going to live to see the end of the war or would she be another casualty at the hands of the still mysterious foe?

 

Ever since she was a child, there was only one person that she felt safe around. There was only one person Kei had ever thought could protect her from the monsters that lurked in every shadow.

 

Now her father was miles away and the monsters were a lot more visible than ever before.

 

Who could protect her?

 

Her comrades certaintly couldn't as they were fighting for their own lives. Captain Nottap wasn't even allowed to enter a battle so he was of no use. Where was the safety? Where was the security?

 

There was only one person who could make her feel even the least bit safe now and he seemed to have a lot more problems to deal with than Kei ever would.

 

Kuris Takasa, the young man who'd fascinated Kei ever since their first meeting. The boy who had somehow swept her off her feet in the middle of complete despair. The male who seemed to be having so much trouble just dealing with his own demons but somehow seemed to care for Kei at the same time.

 

Could he protect her?

 

Would he be able to fight off all his demons and come to Kei's rescue at the brink of destruction? Could he save her from the monsters in the dark and hold her safely in an embrace until all was well?

 

Could he be her knight in shining armor?

 

But what if he couldn't? Who would protect her? Who would possibly save her from the terrors of the world?

 

Audrey? She obviously cared more for her than anyone else did.

 

Kane? He was the new leader of the group but he was still nothing like Craig.

 

Sean? He was such a good-hearted man that he would never put himself before anyone else.

 

Bray? Ha, he was too wrapped up in his own inner struggles to help anyone else.

 

Miya? She'd gone through so much pain in her life but had still tried to help Kei in her time of need.

 

Who else was there? Was there anyone else?

 

Perhaps, there was no one that could protect her anymore. Perhaps it was time for her to stand on her own two feet and fight off the monsters on her own.

 

The thought of fighting alone was a frightening thing. It may have been even more frightening than the very enemy she was standing to face. What was it that made her so scared?

 

Maybe she could do it. Maybe she could fight on her own without having to lean of the others.

 

Perhaps her 'knight in shining armor' really did just exist in fairy tales.

 

espoir

 

Research was one of the main things in a scientist's life.

 

It was one of the most important aspects of the job. No good scientist had ever gotten there by not doing his research.

 

Now, it was Raymond George's turn to use his researching ability though it wasn't for a scientific reason. No, this was for something that seemed a lot more important at the time.

 

The origins of Project Espoir had always been a mysterious one. No one seemed to know the whole story to the project. At least, no one that was still alive.

 

Pierre LeFluer, the father of Espoir, seemed to have taken the tale to his grave after his suicide. There was only one person who was ever close enough to the old man to know the story and that man was just as mysterious as his sage.

 

Roman Evans.

 

Raymond had had a bad feeling about the young Evans ever since his first meeting with the male. He'd been working under the wing of LeFluer for quite awhile and seemed to be nothing less than a carbon-copy of the late professor.

 

He even carried the dead man's mysterious aura.

 

Tension had existed in the ECB ever since Evans admitted the horrific truth behind the program. Many members had spoken in protest to using such means and others had threatened to quit. However, only one man had left the board since then.

 

That man had vowed to bring down Espoir and end it's vile work.

 

That man is now dead.

 

His plane had somehow fallen somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. No bodies were found other than the scientists. Roman Evans stated his sympathy to the family and friends to the man but deep down, everyone knew who was behind his death.

 

That had been why no one else had left the organization. Still, Ray refused to let Evans and the board go on with their horrible program, at least until he knew the whole story.

 

So, Ray had begun his research on the life of LeFluer, Evans, and Espoir.

 

It all had begun with the Maher Meteor Shower. That was what caused the defect inside each of the soldiers. LeFluer had taken a small expedition out to study the craters once but nothing was known of his discoveries.

 

The rest of LeFluer's life was shrouded in mystery. It was known that LeFluer had married a woman from America named Eve Williams. She'd died in a very similar manner to Pierre, suicide from jumping out a building window.

 

It is unknown when Evans and LeFluer came into meeting or when they joined forces. However, Evans had been with LeFluer before they had begun telling of the project to the United Nations.

 

Ray's research seemed to be coming up completely blank. There was only one person that knew of the history of Espoir and that was Roman Evans. It took quite a bit of debating but Raymond finally came up with his new objective.

 

Evans had a small office inside the ECB Headquarters. He was known to spend most of his days in there and it remained locked for all times that Evans wasn't occupying it. If there was one place at Ray could find the truth, that was where.

 

Roman had been out at a press conference during the time that Ray put his plan into action. With the help of a lockpick kit, the researcher found his way into the private office and into the various files in the room.

 

At first, Ray's secret research proved unaffective. Most of the files were recent and dealt with well-known things. It wasn't until Raymond found his way into Evans' desk that he found anything interesting.

 

There, he found various documents dealing with the individual soldiers. He found the first ever reports dealing with the new Espoir soldiers. He found mental and physical reports on the soldiers.

 

Still, he found nothing dealing with the history of Espoir.

 

That was, until Ray found the secret compartment at the bottom of one of the drawers.

 

It was a fake bottom. Once pulled out, Ray found one folder. He removed the document and began skimming over the papers inside. The first paper in the file was the most intriuing one he'd found all day.

 

At the top of the paper read the words 'The Maher Rock - Deciphered Notes - Forecoming Disaster.' It was dated back in the 80's and was written in the hand of Pierre LeFluer.

 

Ray wasn't able to begin reading the paper as a voice from outside caught his attention. It was Evans, heading towards the office.

 

Quickly, Raymond returned the folder but removed the two few papers. He shoved them into his briefcase and quickly made his way out of the office, closing the door behind him. He regained his composure just as Evans appeared around the corner.

 

Evans paused before Ray and eyed him strangely. His handsome features finally broke into a slight grin and he nodded, "Hello, Mr... Raymond George, right?"

 

He nodded. "Mr. Evans." Ray said and prepared to walk past the man when he spoke again.

 

"You missed the press conference."

 

Ray coughed slightly and nodded, "I wasn't aware that it was mandatory. Was anything important discussed?"

 

"Not especially." Evans said as he reached for his doorknob, "Just a progress report."

 

Ray nodded once more and watched as Roman turned the knob and the door opened without trouble. Evans looked at the door strangely than glanced back at Raymond with a mysterious glare. He began to step into the office before clearing his throat.

 

"It's good having you on the team, Raymond." Evans extended his hand and smiled, "I hope I get to see you in the end."

 

Evans' cold eyes pierced Ray's own as he reached out and shook the hand. It was cold and hard, just like the man who owned it. Ray swallowed hard and nodded, "I'm sure you will, Mr. Evans."

 

The man nodded once more before stepping into his office and closing the door hard. Ray continued down the hall with after a long breath of releif. He patted his briefcase quickly and nodded to himself.

 

Hopefully, his research would prove successful.

 

espoir

 

Every existing being is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.

 

- Jean-Paul Sarte

 

To Be Continued...