Fan Fiction ❯ Everything You Want ❯ Forever ( Chapter 26 )

Everything You Want

Chapter 26:

Forever

 

 

 

 

 

Somewhere in time I know,

Darling you'll come back to me.

Roses will bloom again,

But spring feels like eternity.

In your kiss it wasn't goodbye.

You are still the reason why…

 

 

 

 

 

Robert rubbed his weary eyes and shifted in the chair he'd been sitting in for the last three days, beside the bed that Bella had been unconscious in for just as long. He was really starting to get concerned even though the doctor at the hospital had assured him that physically, Bella was perfectly healthy. Mentally, however… That was a different story.

 

Cole's funeral had been one of the hardest services he'd ever had to attend. If Lacey hadn't been there by his side, he didn't know if he would've been able to keep it together. Cole's parents had been an emotional wreck, barely able to stand on their own. Mrs. Hastings had literally thrown herself onto her son's casket, cursing the God that had taken her baby boy away from her.

 

Bella, on the other hand, hadn't spoken a word since Cole had been taken from her protective embrace. During the ceremony, her glassy blue eyes had stayed locked on Cole's coffin, never wavering in their vacant stare. Robert had practically had to carry her from the church. When they'd gotten home that evening, he'd put Bella to bed and that's where she'd been ever since.

 

`She should've woken up by now,' he thought with a troubled frown deepening the lines in his otherwise youthful face. Brushing his fingers over her pale cheek, Robert silently willed for her eyes to open.

 

“Please, baby. Wake up, come back to me,” he murmured as he straightened up and headed to the door.

 

Hearing her bedroom door close softly behind her father, Bella opened eyes that were once happy and full of life, but now were dull and despondent as she stared blankly at her surroundings.

 

`Come back? Why? There's nothing here for me anymore.Nothing. Cole is gone andhe's not ever coming back… '

 

Curling into herself, Bella's body shook with tearless sobs. There were no more tears to be cried. She was empty, barren. Her eyes were dry and swollen. Bringing her fingers to her lips, she tried to imagine the feel of Cole's mouth on her own. The last kiss they'd shared hadn't been enough, and she longed for just one more moment with him…

 

 

 

 

 

I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room,

My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon.

I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly.

"Love me now forever,"

Were the last words you said to me...

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, if she listened hard enough, Bella could swear Cole was still there, whispering to her while she lay there dreaming of him. Telling her that he loved her and that he would never leave her. Promising her that she wouldn't ever be alone, because he would always be by her side.

 

When she closed her eyes she could still see him, standing in the distance, always just out of reach. His obsidian strands gleaming in the sunlight, bright green eyes locked on her, and that goofy lopsided grin plastered on his handsome face. He would reach out a hand, beckoning her… but, Bella could never reach him before he faded away.

 

She ached all over. It was as if when Cole died, a part of her had died with him. What was there left for her to live for now that he was gone? Clutching her pillow tightly to her chest, Bella gazed unseeingly out her window, Cole's last words to her echoing through her mind.

 

“I love you, Bella. Forever.”

 

Forever. What did that mean? If that was true, then why wasn't he still here? As much as she tried, Bella couldn't understand what he'd meant when he'd said that she didn't need him anymore. He was her everything, her reason for living.

 

“What do I do now, Cole? How do I live without you?” she whispered brokenly into the silence of her room. Shutting her eyes once more, Bella drifted back into uneasy slumber…

 

 

 

 

 

And when the morning comes,

My hands still reach out for you.

Some things remain the same,

There is nothing I can do.

I can barely get through the day

Ever since you went away…

 

 

 

 

 

Life inevitably had to go on despite the near hopelessness Bella felt as she greeted each day with the same empty feeling lodged deep down in her soul. Each morning she would wake reaching out for Cole, hands searching for the warmth of his body, fingers itching to feel his soft skin. Then, she would open her eyes and her heart would weep at the sight of the bare space next to her where Cole should be.

 

Day after day, she dragged herself out of bed, went through the routine of getting ready for school, and then spent her hours there shuffling around the building in a half conscious daze. Though she could plainly see the sympathetic looks the students and teachers cast her when she passed by them, Bella couldn't bring herself to meet their eyes. She knew if she did, she would probably break down in a puddle of miserable, heartbroken tears.

 

Graduation finally came, Bella going through the motions of accepting her diploma and acting the part of the happy graduate, but she knew her father and Lacey saw right through the cheerful façade. It frightened them to see her fading away to barely a slip of the girl they used to know. Her face was hollow and sunken, cerulean orbs emotionless and blank. Robert suspected that from the way her clothes hung on her normally healthy figure, the only time she ate was when he placed the food in front of her.

 

Rarely did she ever exit her room except to go to school and to the bathroom. Despite all he saw and knew, Robert was helpless to do anything but be there for her when she decided she was ready to open up, as Lacey assured him, in time, she would. In spite of the fact that it killed him to see her suffering from such acute anguish, all Robert could do was watch… and wait…

 

 

 

 

 

Heaven help us cross this endless sea,

With starlight above to guide you to me.

Waves crashing on distant shores,

They're calling our names forever more…

 

 

 

 

 

“Bella?”

 

Raising her head from her barely eaten bowl of cereal, Bella gave her father an `I'm listening' look. “Yeah, Dad?”

 

Deciding to skip the pleasantries and get right to the point, Robert grasped one of his daughter's hands in a tight hold with his own and locked troubled hazel eyes on her stoic expression.

 

“With every day that's passed since the accident, I've felt you slipping farther and farther away. I can't stand that you refuse to talk to me, or anyone else for that matter, about how you're feeling.” Pausing to squeeze her limp hand, Robert sighed deeply.

 

“I'm afraid, Bell. Terrified of the idea of losing you, too.”

 

Tugging her hand away, Bella pushed away from the breakfast table and strode quietly over to the sink, her back to the distressed man watching for any sign that she was ready to talk.

 

“I'm scared, too, Dad,” she murmured forlornly as tears streaked unchecked down her cheeks and onto the cold metal of the washbasin below her. “But as much as I try, as much as I want to be happy again, I can't seem to find a reason to want to get out of bed each morning, a reason to smile and look forward to the future. Without Cole, my outlook on a life devoid of his light, his love, seems hazy and bleak. Without him there isn't a reason for me to go on, nothing left for me to hold on to, and I can't help but feel like I'm drowning…”

 

Trailing off as a lump formed in her throat, Bella pressed the back of one trembling hand to her mouth. “I miss him so much, daddy. So much… I just don't understand why God would do this to me. Why does He hate me so much? Wasn't it enough for Him to take mom away? Was it really necessary to steal Cole away from me, too?!”

 

With that angry exclamation, Bella choked back a sob and fled from the room. Deciding it was probably best for him to just leave her be, Robert exhaled heavily and stared after her retreating form. Tilting his chin, he closed his eyes and silently prayed to the seemingly cruel God so intent on torturing his family.

 

`Please help my daughter. Help her, because I sense that time alone will not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted onher heart…

 

 

 

 

 

*~~~~A/N~~~~*

 

 

 

Please don't hate me, I love you. *backs away from her angry readers* Even though I knew Cole was going to die, it didn't make it any easier on me when the time came to kill him. It kind of felt like I was offing one of my children or something. lol: o) I've really come to love his character, and I cried like a little baby when he died… *sniffles* But, if you look back through past chapters, I actually did a lot of foreshadowing about his future death. If you get a chance, go back and look. Anyway, sorry for the lateness of the chapter. For some reason I had a lot of difficulty writing it. I hope it turned out ok. :o) On another note, for all the reviewers begging me to `bring him back' and `make it all better again,' I'm sorry but I think that would probably ruin the mood I'm going for, know what I mean? What were you expecting? Cole to suddenly pop back up and say, “Ha! Gotcha!”? lol I don't think so… Good God, I really am a sadistic bitch…

 

Lyrics used above from The Last Words You Said to Me, by Sarah Brightman. Gorgeous song, you should definitely check it out if you have a chance. :o)

 

 

 

*~~Media Miner Reviewers~~*

 

 

 

Amaria: Yeah, aren't lilies pretty? If you, or anyone else, are wondering, the tattoo looks like the flowers in the pic I have of Bella, except much smaller. lol :o)

 

 

Amor: Thank you for your suggestions and constructive criticism. I will definitely keep them in mind for future stories. Please continue to read and review. I eagerly await future opinions… :o)

 

 

MYSTYQE: I'm sorry. *hugz* But it really was necessary, I swear. Don't worry, Bella's a big girl, she can get through this. Just wait and see…

 

 

Darkfire Storm: You are entirely too perceptive… lol Thanks for the review and to answer your question, yes, it would be very fitting, wouldn't it…? lol :o)

 

 

 

*~~Anime Spiral Reviewers~~*

 

 

 

LT Stryffe: Awww, you're so cute! lol *hands her a tissue* Don't cry, I promise everything will work out, ok? *hugz* Oh, by the way, Lacey says thank you for your review on her art work. :o)

 

 

nay-nay: *hands her several boxes of tissue* I'm sorry; I can't bring him back even though, honestly, I wish I could. :o( He was a great guy, huh? Keep reading, I promise things will get brighter, k? *big hugz*

 

 

Rain Liqueur: Thanks for the review, and sorry for the shock. lol I take it you weren't expecting that? *winks* Love your screen name. Very creative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next Chapter: A Reason