Fan Fiction ❯ Final Solution ❯ In the not so Beginning, Beginning... ( Chapter 1 )

.....M'kay..Zimmy Slashy Fic? Any objections? No? Great! ::grins and pulls the cotton out of her ears:: I do NOT own any of the Invader Zim characters and places, they've got a nice big `Jhonen Vazquez' label sewn on their butts...

All righty...the extra `non-Vazquez' character is my own, her name is `Scat' and all will be explained....ENJOY YOU ENGLISH SCUM!

Scat: ::Thwap!:: You're scaring the clients..

Zara: Ow...isn't that my job? No? Okay...and I'm guessing Zim was in elementary school in the 4th grade when he came to Earth...so...yeah.

It had been another boring, tedious day and a waste of Zim's time; High Skool had proven to be more of a way for these parent humans to get these new hormone driven `teen' humans out of their hair and then out of their nesting grounds.

"Pathetic Earth scum..." he grumbled as he entered his house/base, the two robots that posed as his own `parents' were no longer there since the Jehovah Witness Incident. One was now a nice floor lamp and the other made decent toast.

I had been about six, seven years since he first landed on Earth and he hadn't made any headway with the take over of the miserable ball of dirt, he spent most of his time trying to avoid all the hazing for still being short and Dib, the Dib human had gone through what the humans called `puberty' which was from what Zim gathered the time between childhood and adulthood. Dib was now about his father's height and had moved out of his house to another part of the city, even though there was a considerable distance between them Dib still made his pilgrimages back to Zim's house to try and do....stuff.

"Miserable..." he trailed off as he flushed himself down the toilet to start on his study of these so-called finals that his future depended on. Many of the other worm baby's were stuffing their fat, hollow heads full of useless knowledge that the teachers said would save their lives one day. He grumbled and read on about the different lumps of minerals that made up this pathetic planet.

He finally pulled his poor red eyes away from the screen and dragged himself upstairs to collapse on the couch.

"I think I've finally discovered the trick of controlling these humans. Get them all worked up over something and then watch them wear themselves out over it. Nngh..." He stretched and fell asleep on the couch not caring if GIR decided to come in and bother him; he was too worn out to care.

While he slept, GIR walked into the base leading a tall figure carrying a bag.

GIR pointed at the sleeping Irken on the couch. "That's my master! Isn't he kyuuute when he sleeps!?!!" He grinned and jumped out of his disguise and ran off to the kitchen. "BACO~~N!" He wailed, the figure looked over at Zim, the light reflecting off the glass that rested on the person's face. They approached him and set down the bag.

"....finally got you..." They whispered and drew a long needle from their bag. The figure pulled off one of Zim's glove and turned his thin arm so that the pit of the elbow (A/N: What else do we call it? I'd like to know!) was upturned, the sharp pin sank into the Irken's arm and the reddish fluid was injected. They rubbed the spot with a cotton swab and draped Zim's arm back over his chest. "Sleep well..."

The figure closed the bag, stood and walked into the kitchen where GIR was having a hell of a time trying to pry the bacon off of frozen surface of the freezer.

Zim woke up to the smell of burnt waffles and the sound of someone cursing loudly.

"The Dib Human!" His eyes snapped open and got up quickly. The sudden rush of blood to his head made him rather dizzy and he tripped over that moth eaten Chihuahua that found its way into the base. He tumbled and rolled into the kitchen, limbs tangled; he reopened his eyes and waited for things to come into focus. A tall woman stood over the stove frying waffles in a pan, painting a blue streak as she tried to flip the square over. GIR sat happily at the table, devouring one bois-n-berry syrup pancake after another.

"Motherfu-oh...you're finally awake....hope you had some nice dreams..." she said flatly and burnt herself on the frying pan again. "Jesus effing Christ!!" She yelped and chucked the waffle onto the table, she chucked the pan into the sink. "Stupid piece of crap! Can't you buy a waffle iron!?!! Or a working toaster without homicidal tendencies?" She glared down at him.

Zim looked at her, she had to be six feet at the most, her hair was cut short and black, and she looked as though she hadn't been out in the sun much. He couldn't tell what color her eyes were since a pair of tinted sunglasses hid them, they were attached to her temples with a bit of plastic. "Who are you Waffle Woman! Why are you in my bas~e!?!!" He bellowed but his voice cracked so the last part came out as a squeak. The woman smirked and chuckled.

"Master! This is Scat! Scat! Master! Scat! Master!" GIR giggled, shrieked and jumped onto the table rolling around on the last waffle, getting the sticky, sweet syrup all over himself.

Scat shook her head. "Well Zim, I think you'll piece together what's going on in a while but first....why don't you get up off the floor?" She quirked an eyebrow as Zim managed to untangle himself and stand up, he wobbled a bit and shuffled over to the table leaning on it for support. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

"Oh jeezus..." he moaned and looked down at his hands, they looked a bit...bigger. "Eh?