Fan Fiction ❯ forbidden by the gods ❯ One-Shot

Forbidden by the Gods

Death is the easy way out, that's always been the truth. A real man stays back and fights off what ever it may be that ails him. I guess I don't want to be a real man. All I want to do is get out, to leave this all and end all the pain. I don't want to hurt anymore, but it doesn't look like I have too much of a choice, does it? The pain seems to be mocking me, laughing at me as I cry out in protest.

Protest of that which had past, protest of that which was to come. I don't like to think of the present, to think of what's happening to me at any given moment, that's too much. Ne, how does one define the present? As soon as it happens, it's the past… then I can think of it and become engulfed in it. Or, rather, what happened to me because of it. As for the future, I don't much like to think of it either. Still, it's always best to be able to think of a way to prepare myself for what's to come. Right. I know I can't go around trying to kill myself. The Gods would look down on it, therefore, I'm forbidden from going near anything that I might hurt myself with.

Can someone please explain this to me?

How is it that when I was born I was rejected and taken into a destiny that's worse than any alternatives that I can currently think of - which is a lot, mind you. Ah, to be rejected yet welcomed… what a sadistic world this is… a sadistic world full of sad, sad men. Wait, they're no more men than I am… and we've already decided that I'm not. True men don't want what I want most of all. Human nature decrees that some people will be 'higher' than others, have command and power. People want power. They want to control others, some get their wish… others just get damned. How can they devalue people to be less than dirt? Can that truly be allowed? While some act like they're higher than the Gods, they push others to…

What is it I'm missing here?

Surely the Gods couldn't have created Utopia to see it run over by fiends, demons and whatnot? Surely they hadn't meant for things to work out as they did? Horseshit. Everyone knows in that in the long run there's ranks. Generally men above women and emperors above slaves - and whoever thinks it ends there is bloody mental. Even slaves have ranks - this is, after all, a sad, sadistic world full of sad, sadistic men.

I want to be a lowly slave. The others here look at me like I'm a hero, a saviour. Wow! I've managed to raise myself from scrubbing floors right into the Master's favour! Watch as I leap for joy… I liked the floors! Gods, I am what I am, I can't change that, but I'd rather be there than here. - Well, in all truthfulness, I'd rather be dead, 'lot of good that's done me thus far. I hate the Gods. How could they do this to me? I'm forbidden to live like a true man, and forbidden from taking myself from this life to meet Akuma in the Hells. So what if I want to go and meet my fate? So what if I want to go as soon as humanly possible. Wait. Not humanly possible, seeing as I can only go when the Master says I can. Damn, there goes that one, too.

I have a small little room-like thing, and I rarely ever leave the dusty corner on the side. I want to be as far away from the others as possible. I don't want to be seen when some of the others come to see if I'm alright because I've been hiding off on my own. What if I like being alone? So what if I want to be abrogated?

But I don't…

I don't want to be alone, I want to be loved. I want to have someone hold me tight. I want… Slaves aren't allowed to want anything or anyone. Yet another right taken away from me, huh? Sometimes I hear people talking with the Master about rights that people should have, rights the Gods Themselves promised. They say that and they look over me like I am, indeed, nonexistent. Because. They. Can.

Doesn't mean I can't dream though. My dreams are mine alone. In them he always holds me tight, because in my dreams I'm not just some nobody. I'm somebody. His somebody. They're so vivid and so very real. I can almost feel the warmth radiating from his body. I can almost feel his lips on mine. Almost.

I hate this. What might I have been if the Master hadn't bought me? Bought me. Yeah, I belong to that creature. How degrading is that to one's self-esteem? Might I have found this wonder from my dreams? Might I have found a better existence? In the long run, peasants are better than slaves. Odd, that. I know I have a place to stay and food as long as I behave - right… - but I'd rather be a penniless little nobody working thirteen hours a day on the fields to doing what I'm doing, living how I'm living.

When I was younger, another slave used to tell stories to us. As most stories, they were about the Gods - why does everything have to be about the bloody Gods anyway? If there was ever anyone in trouble, They'd come and save them. They're always there, always watching to make sure every thing goes as Planned. Bloody brilliant. She'd tell us about an Era when the Gods used to walk amongst us, treat us like equals. She'd tell us that Jin the Human was there to make sure we were okay, and that Arikoruun the Dreamer would Patron the daydreaming children. She even swore that she once spoke with Raidon the Thunder who saved her from a storm. I'm halfway inclined to believe her, too, as farfetched as it seems. The Master's been in a more foul mood than normal ever since Toya Toshi appeared claiming that she was the Holy One. He said that Toshi-sama is full of poppycock, I can't wait to see if she's right.

Of course it's her fault I'm being beaten more than normal, haven't the foggiest what connection he finds between us, but it must be there somewhere.

It hurts, though.

I want it to end, I want to cry out for it to stop.

Nothing seems to go my way, though. I'm being called again. Maybe one day. Maybe I'll get my wishes and he'll come. Probably not.