Fan Fiction ❯ Forget Him ❯ Forget Him ( Chapter 1 )

Rei: Allo! ^^; Yet another story about my mind-baby Rue. Well, actually this one's mainly about his mother, Orai, and how she feels sending him off to school, as well as her jealously of her best friend and neighbor Sotoko. Yah. I guess you read the summary already…

Disclaimer: I own it! There is not a single thing in here I don't own, except for the graffiti phrase used later on. ^^; That belongs to my boyfriend's best friend.

Okay, fic time!

~ ~ ~

Forget Him

by Rei

~ ~ ~

Normally theres no way you can get Orai up at seven in the morning. In fact, you can't get her up at any point of her sleep cycle at all. Because of this she's been late for her job at the local grocery so many times its amazing she's still employed. Because of this she still wets her bed sometimes, and when her son was a baby she never once answered his cries. This often resulted in the kid screaming `til he could breathe no more, and a late night hospital run conducted by her husband. It would be nice if her husband would've gone to the baby himself, but that rarely happened as Nathaniel firmly believed (and still does) that that's a `woman's job.' As of late he doesn't express these sorts of opinions, as the result is a big fight involving several kicks to the groin.

Right now Orai has a baby due in two months and she still doesn't wake up in response to it's incessant kicks. She's not working `til later but she still needs to wake up, her son is starting kindergarten and she has to see him off. Her husband's already up, but it's been established that he doesn't do much of the grunt work in this household. Orai has to wake up herself and her baby, and see him off into the world all alone.

The alarm clock is blaring, so she blinks, rolls over and tries to rouse herself. She's annoyed that she blinked, the movement of her eyes had interrupted a very cool dream set to the tune of a song she couldn't remember the name of. Now she can't remember the dream either, all she has is a vague impression of swimming underwater.

She wants badly to ignore the alarm clock, hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, but she set it for a reason. Her baby's starting school today, and he'll never wake up on time if she doesn't get him up. He's a light sleeper, but he's got no concept of having to get up early. Everything in his life so far has been scheduled for the afternoon, because Orai couldn't bear to get up sooner.

But even once she's up and dressing, she still doesn't want to go downstairs to Rue's room and wake him. For the past few months the child's lungs have been swamped with pneumonia, forcing him into the hospital on his fifth birthday in July. He's only just recovered, but he's still weak and Orai doesn't want him going anywhere for a while. But school's starting and she also doesn't want him missing his first day. She knows he'll miss quite a few days in the future, at least if he stays as sickly as he is right now.

She pulls on an ugly maternity dress, not wanting to ruin a nice one with anything Rue might cough up on her. Then she slips on a pair of flip flops and heads for the stairs, banging on the bathroom door as she passes it, just hoping Nathaniel will say something from the shower to acknowledge her. He mutters some obscenities but says nothing to her, and she clomps downstairs, watching her protruding gut and hoping this baby wont be so problematic.

"Honey it's time to get up!" RaiRai yells, barging in and turning on the light and radio. She winces at the song playing, and quickly changes the station, not wanting her babies, unborn and living, exposed to such junk. Rue looks up briefly, coughs a bit, and lets his head fall back on the pillow. "Ruuuuuuuuuuuue!" RaiRai squeals, reaching out to tickle him and pulling her hand away, not wanting to shock him and stop his breathing. "Come on sweetie, its time to get up and go to school! Remember today's your first day?"

Rue shakes his head, mutters that he doesn't want to go to school. Orai can understand that, the kid has barely left his mother's side since birth, the only time she ever ignores him is at night when she's sleeping. And she assumes that he understands that. He flips out whenever he has to go to the hospital, and Orai hates to admit it but she doesn't visit all that often. Except for the first two or three times, she uses the hospital stays as time for herself, to read or hang out with her friends or have sex with her husband, just whatever she wants without having to deal with an unusually dependant little boy.

She does feel guilty, but what else can she do? She gets tired of being a mother, and she needs a break sometimes. For a quick one she can drop him off at the neighbor's place, but Rue's hospital stays are like vacations for her if she ignores all the worrying she does about him.

"Sorry baby, you haven't got a choice here!" Orai says, pulling away the blankets her son is burrowing under. He curls into a tighter ball, trying to warm himself. The kid has problems with this, being so skinny he has little body fat to do the job. "Okay okay," she mutters, pulling open one of the drawers in Rue's dresser. "Stay under the blankets until I've got your clothes. But don't fall asleep honey, today's the first day and that's important. You're gonna love school, you'll make all these great new friends and learn all this…stuff. Yeah…stuff."

Orai knows she's spouting bullshit, she always hated school and can't see why Rue would feel any differently, especially since he's having a hard enough time making friends with the neighborhood kids who have known him all his life. How would he ever be anything but a picked-on enemy to his classmates? The kid is doomed and his mother knows it, but she can't tell him that, he'll never go if he thinks it'll be awful.

She pulls out a long-sleeved olive green shirt with blue stripes at the sleeves, the opens another drawer and gets out underpants and jeans. Not the height of fashion but it's all that's clean right now. "Okay sweetie, can you get this stuff on yourself? Let me find your shoes…"

Rue sits up slowly, and Orai watches close to make sure he doesn't fall. Then she deposits the clothes on his bed and begins her hunt for shoes. She notices that Rue is making no effort to dress himself. She's annoyed but she knows he's tired, knows he's used to having this done for him. She finds the shoes under the dresser and tells Rue he'd better hurry up. Listlessly, he picks up the shirt, stares at it and coughs a bit. As Orai watches she fantasizes about the fetus inside her. She knows it's a girl and she hopes to god her daughter will be more lively.

"Honey," she says, unbuttoning the pajamas Rue's already wearing. His blue eyes look glazed and his skin is hot, but she ignores this and puts the green shirt on over his head. "C'mon sweetie, look at me. You've got to cooperate with Mommy okay?" Rue doesn't look. He just coughs and tells her he really doesn't want to go to school.

"Put your pants on," says Orai, hating herself more and more every second. She doesn't want to send her baby out there in the world, not when he's obviously not feeling well. But it's his first day, he'll be just fine.

Rue does so, knowing by now that theres no point in resisting. Orai helps him with his shoes and picks him up, carrying him to the kitchen because she doesn't want to see him trying to walk. She doesn't know why she thinks she can send him to school in his condition, but she doesn't want to think logically right now.

"Nathaniel?" she says to her husband who is seated at the table, sipping coffee and fiddling with a piece of paper. "Did you make breakfast like I asked?"

"No, it's not like the kid's gonna eat anyway," Nathaniel mutters, taking a long and noisy gulp of his pitch-black coffee. This is true; Rue rarely has any kind of appetite. Still, Orai taps her foot angrily, glares at Nathaniel until he walks over to the shelf and grabs a box of chocolate poptarts. He plunks it down in front of Rue, who is now sitting at the table with the top of his head barely reaching it. Rue stretches his hand up and tries to open the box, failing long enough that Orai decides to do it for him. As she hands him one she wonders what the hell she bought them for. She doesn't like poptarts and neither does Nathaniel, and Rue has a weird aversion to sweet stuff that she's never seen in any kid his age. He has a problem with food in general, but most kids could be coaxed into a candy bar on their worst days. Rue turned down chocolate when he was feeling great. Anyway the kid has some big vitamin deficiencies, why get food that isn't going to help with that?

"When you get out of work Nathaniel, could you pick up those vitamin thingies the doctor said to get for Rue?" Orai asked, grabbing a poptart for herself, though they look unappetizing. "You remember she said he's a little anemic…? We're supposed to get him iron supplements."

"Right, right, whatever the fuck you want `Rai. Can't you get them yourself, you're the one who works at the fucking grocery store!" Nathaniel says, slamming down his coffee cup, angry for no reason. He doesn't like to be asked for anything, he's selfish like that. Rue whimpers a bit and Orai grabs his hand as she sits down across from her husband. She doesn't want Rue exposed to his father's pointless rage. So actually, it's a good thing that Rue will be going off to school, he wont have to deal with Daddy on the days he's home from work.

"Jesus," she says. "Calm down. You never do anything for your own son; the least you could do is pick him up some fucking vitamins. It's not like I'm asking you to donate him your lungs or anything. Look, the grocery store doesn't sell this stuff, and your office is right across the street from GNC!"

"Fine!" Nathaniel roars. "Fucking fine. You have any idea how long the lines are at that place Orai? You have any idea how much time this will take out of my day? It's shitty already, I really appreciate your making it worse!"

"He needs the supplements!" Orai says in a whiny, half-enraged voice. Rue grabs the sleeve of her dress and whispers that no, he really doesn't need any of the iron thingies. Orai sighs, wishing this was true. She's just glad they already have all the meds he's on from the pneumonia, thrilled that he'll stop taking them soon. She doesn't understand how she produced such a sickly son when she's never had a serious health problem in her life. "Look Nathaniel…please don't fight me on this stupid little thing. I don't want to fight with you, I just want to get Rue to school and go to work, okay?"

"School? What do you mean school?" Nathaniel asks, standing up and heading for the doorway. Of course he leaves the coffee cup and box of poptarts on the table for Orai to clean. "Since when does he go to school?"

"T-t-today's m-my…m-my first d-day…" Rue stutters softly, knowing well by now that an innocent sentence can lead to being screamed at in this house. Orai feels bad because she knows that's why he can't open up to her or to the neighborhood kids. There are a lot of them what with the sprawling Bodsniki clan next door, and Orai's best friend who lives in the other next door has a little girl just a bit younger then Rue. Children abound on Sandal Street and the rest of Roehab, but Rue doesn't get along with any of them. Sometimes he'll play with Shizuka, the best-friend's-daughter-girl, but other then that the closest he's gotten to a social life is having socks filled with mud thrown at him from the Bodsniki house. And that's not close.

"Oh well, great," Nathaniel sneers. "Good luck not getting the crap kicked out of ya. I'd tell you to fight back but you're such a fucking pansy I doubt you'd do it. Just curl up in a ball and whimper until they go away. You'll fare best that way."

"Nathaniel," Orai says, trailing after him. "That's not going to happen, don't go telling him this stuff and scaring him! Rue, honey, you know no one's gonna hurt you, right? Right baby?" She can see Rue doesn't believe her, how can he when she doesn't believe it herself? She goes to him and gives him a hug, but Nathaniel's just laughing smugly and not helping the situation at all. "Don't worry about a thing sweetie, school will be great."

"'Rai, quit talking shit," he says. "You know perfectly well he's gonna be beaten up every day of his life and there's no sense in letting him think differently. At least this way he'll be prepared."

"He doesn't need to prepare for anything because it's not going to happen!" yells Orai, plucking a packet of cigarettes from the shelf and lighting up. She tried to quit smoking at least temporarily during times when Rue was ill, but when she fights with Nathaniel she gets stressed out and can't help herself. If he gets mad enough he'll beat her, probably in front of Rue, and that's scary. Smoking helps her to calm herself, and she needs that right now.

So she takes a nice long drag and stares at the ground, noting that it needed to be swept and she'd have to do it, even though her work hours were much longer then her husbands and she had fewer days off. She's stuck in a marital hell that she'd never thought she'd be part of, her parents had loved each other and split the work evenly. Her father had never belittled her or her brothers, and he was always wonderful to her mom. Her whole life she'd looked for someone as sweet as her father, but she got stuck with Nathaniel instead. He's sort of like a drug; she can't leave no matter how he treats her. Now that she has a son who depends on her more the most five-year-olds, and a baby coming soon, there's no way in hell she'll ever get away from him.

"Are you kidding me `Rai, look at the little cock sucker! He's a fucking loser, of course he's gonna get smacked around. Hell, I'd beat him up if I were that age. If you just look past the fact that he's your baby, you'll see that he's a worthless sack of crap." He smiles hard as he says this, and Orai is gaping, shocked though she should be used to this by now. She can't imagine why he'd say this about their son, especially in front of him! She looks at her baby, sees he's not crying and sighs with relief. If he doesn't react then she can pretend that he didn't hear it, she can pretend that he won't be damaged.

"M-m-m-ma…mama?" Rue murmurs, face pressed against her because she's still hugging him. "Um…w-w-when are w-we gonna g-go to…to s-s-school? S-sorry."

"Just a minute honey," says Orai, detaching herself from him and starting to clean up the table. When she's got everything clean she helps him down from his chair, uncaring that he could probably do it himself. He's not that bad off; he's recovering, not actively ill. And he's five years, not five months old. Still he looks so tired, and he's not moving on his own. What can she do but worry for him? "I'll get you there soon."

"'Rai, weren't you gonna get a ride with Sotoko?" Nathaniel asks, grabbing her ass hard and hurting her. "Cos her stupid little girl's going to the same school as Rue, right?"
Right! Orai hadn't remembered before, she'd been too busy trying ignore Nathaniel and make sure he didn't hurt her baby too bad. She's pleased to be reminded; Sotoko's her very best friend in the world right now, especially since they're both pregnant with baby girls. It's a good common ground to yak about, and though they're personalities are polar opposites; she needs someone she can talk to who's not Nathaniel. Sotoko's great, and her daughters even better, she's tough, active and independent, just like Orai wishes her son was and hopes her daughter will be.

"Yeah, I was supposed to meet her, gah, she's probably waiting for me all pissed off!" Seizing this as an excuse to dash out the door, she does so, grabbing one of Rue's sweaters from the clothes hook by the door. She doesn't say goodbye to her husband and he doesn't care. She scoops Rue up, knowing they'll get next door much faster that way. Not that it matters, once she's outside Sotoko will be able to see her and come out too.

"Ma…m-mama, stop r-run, running so fast!" Rue whines quietly. Orai does not heed him, they're already outside and she's banging on Sotoko's door, then picking at the peeling paint as she waits to be answered. Rue doesn't struggle at all so she doesn't put him down, though she's getting a bit tired from carrying him around. Having another kid inside her doesn't make it any easier.

Sotoko opens the door, she too wearing a drab green maternity dress and looking as tired as Orai feels herself. She can hear Shizuka rushing around inside, yelling about how she doesn't want a bento box for lunch, she wants french fries. Rue never expresses any dietary opinions; he simply stares at whatever's put in front of him and nibbles at it a bit. Rue never runs around the house knocking into things either, and though Orai knows it'd be a nuisance she really wishes he did. "Hi Sotoko," she says, reaching out to brush a clump of hair away from her friend's sweaty face. It's black, the color she'd dye it if she cared enough.

"Hello Orai…just a sec…Shizuka, be quiet, it's a bento box or nothing okay?" Sighing, Sotoko eyes their enormous bellies, whispers softly "Why…?" Sotoko isn't thrilled by her motherhood; she never wanted a marriage or kids in the first place. Orai had wanted kids but not the marriage, and she can't see what Sotoko has against her hyper little daughter.

"Are you gonna drive me like you said?" Orai inquires, tipping her head slightly to the side. She knows Sotoko's going to, she's responsible to a fault and won't let a promise go unheeded. But she just has to make sure.

"Yes of course, let me just…Shizuka get your jacket will you? Tell your father goodbye for me too," Sotoko says as she searches for her purse and keys. Orai moves inside to help her, letting Rue down to go find Shizuka. But he doesn't go off as expected, he just holds her leg and stares at the Maeda's welcome mat. She should have expected this, actually.

"Okay Mommy!" Shizuka yells in ear-shattering tones. "Daddy! Mommy says bye okay? I say bye too…uh…Daddy can you help me find my coat cos Mommy will yell at me if I don't have it…"

"No problem Shizu-chan," Sotoko's husband Gisuke says lovingly from the hall. Orai hates this man for a moment, wishes her husband were more like him. He actually seems to love his daughter, and he's as sweet to Sotoko as Orai's own dad was to her mom. Also, Gisuke isn't a skinny little freak like Nathaniel. She could probably beat her man into a coma if she so desired, he's weak and that much is obvious, despite his constant weight training. The only reason she doesn't is because she loves him a little bit, and when she fights back he gets excited and hurts her more. It's like sex for him and that disturbs her.

Within minutes Gisuke and Shizuka are at the door. Gisuke looks gorgeous in his long white doctor's coat, and Shizuka adorable in her pink-and-blue spotted sundress. When Orai looks at her own baby she wants to vomit, hating him for being so abnormal in comparison to this perfect family. They have careers, not jobs; their daughter is healthy, active, and friendly. Sotoko looks so miserable and Orai can't see why. She's got the American dream fulfilled.

Sotoko says something unintelligible to her husband in Japanese, and he responds, and after a while the man walks off, heading for the town bus station where he'll take the R145 to the next town over where he works. He's a surgeon, specializing in abdominal procedures, and Sotoko's a high school English teacher taking a maternity leave. Orai's a grocery store register girl, and her husband does random office work for a cosmetics company. He hates the job and thinks it's girly, but it's the only place that will hire him right now. Both of them are minimum wage workers and to them it looks like the Maedas are swimming in cash. Orai and her family can only afford to live in suburbia because her parents are rich.

She wishes she could stop feeling so jealous, but theres nothing for it. She can't help but hate the Maedas when she thinks about all they have.

"Orai, are you ready to go?" Sotoko asks, banging her way to her new and somewhat-nice car. It's better then Orai's nonexistent one anyway. "Could you get the kids please?"

No problem. Orai can easily heard her clingy kid into the car with her, and Shizuka's so excited about her first day at school that she's already throwing open the backseat door, bouncing excitedly and refusing the seatbelt her mother insists on. Once everyone's settled in Sotoko starts the car. Shizuka's yakking at high speed about how well she's going to do in school and how her best friend Lallie Bodsniki, one of the only sane members of that family, will be in her class. She's ecstatic and Orai hopes it's as good as she thinks. For Shizuka, there might be a chance.

"Mommy, guess what?" Shizuka says for the third time so far today. "Guess what Mommy…! My teacher, he's gonna be Mr. Berkley. Isn't that cool Mommy? Do you know Mr. Berkley? He's so cool! Mommy, do you know him? Mommy!" Obviously frustrated by her mother's lack of response, Shizuka kicks the back of her seat hard, jolting her into looking back and staring murderously.
"Shizuka-chan, you'd better cut that out," Sotoko seethes, trying not to fly into rage while she's driving. Her hands grip the wheel and turn white; Orai can't imagine why she's so mad. She wants Rue to talk up a storm too, but he just stares out the window and grimaces a bit. She wonders if he's carsick and decides he probably is, though she can't see why as the ride's only just started.

"Shizu?" Orai says, turning back and smiling at the girl. "You wanna tell me about Mr. Berkley?" Sotoko's relief at this is visible, now someone else is going to deal with her nuisance.

"No, I wanna tell my mommy!" Shizuka whines, tugging at her hair in distress. Orai feels for her and wants to do something about it, but she knows that Sotoko could care less. Her eyes are on the road anyway; she's so focused that nothing will distract her.

"You know you're very lucky Orai," Sotoko says steadily, driving fast and glaring hard. "Your kid keeps his mouth shut."

The rest of the ride passes in silence. Shizuka manages to keep quiet as per her mother's indirect request, and Rue is obviously not going to talk after being praised for his silence. Orai doesn't want to say anything either, and she decides she'll try and rearrange her work schedule so she can pick up Rue herself in the coming days. She already asked Sotoko to pick him up when she gets Shizuka, but she can't stand the idea of her child becoming more repressed and depressed then he already is because of her. She's pleased that she'll be looking after Shizuka in a week or so, when Sotoko goes into the hospital to have her next baby. Why she's having one Orai can't say, but there it is. At least she can maybe give Shizuka a good time while her mother's away.

Sotoko pulls the car to a stop in front of the elementary school, gives her daughter a fast pat on the head and the bento box she hadn't wanted. Shizuka sticks her tongue out in distaste, opens it and examines the contents. "Gross…" she mutters. "I hate sashimi…"

"Deal with it," says Sotoko, not bothering to get out of the car. Orai steps out and lets the kids out too, giving both of them great big hugs, Rue's not too tight for fear of hurting him.
"Have a great day," she says, kissing Rue quick on the cheek. Once again she notes how hot he is, and she hates herself for sending him out despite his obvious fever. She doesn't acknowledge the fact that she's risking his life, if he exerts himself too much he'll probably get pneumonia again, and the doctor said he's not likely to survive another bout unless he gets a hell of a lot stronger. But she'd rather he have a normal life that's short then the pointless, prolonged life of an invalid. It's not like he has cancer or anything, he'll be just fine. Right? Right.

"Ma…m-mama?" Rue asks, coughing quietly into his hands. "Um, am…am I g-g-gonna s-see you again t-today? Or a-are you working?"

"Sorry honey, I'm working tonight…the store closes pretty late, so you'll be sleeping by the time I get home. Your daddy gets home late too, so I arranged for a babysitter. Do you know Bo Yalei, one of the little boys next door? His mommy's going to watch you okay?" Rue looks terrified, obviously this is not okay. "Sweetie? What's wrong? Rachel's a very nice lady, don't worry. And you can play with Bo…"

"I…I d-d-don't l-like B-bo…" he whimpers, grabbing and her leg and hugging hard. "He's m-m-mean to me…"

"Really?" she asks, trying not to sound surprised. "What does he do?"

"He h-hits me all the t-t-time…." Rue says, and Orai feels something inside her sink. How can she possibly leave her son with a bratty little monster who beats on him? She doesn't think she can trust Rachel to keep her son away from him, but it's too late to make alternate accommodations. If it were up to her she'd stay home with Rue all day, not going to work or sending him to school at all, but she has no choice, really. She's got to work; he's got to learn. The world's all about money and she's got to make it, or she can't pay for Rue's hospital bills or anything else. If Rue gets no education he won't make anything when he's older, and she'll be supporting him forever. But he might get sick again and die, in which case none of that matters. Anyway she's made her decision; she has to send him to school.

"Sorry about that baby," she says, turning to look at Sotoko, who's still staring angrily ahead. "I'll bring the kids to their class, okay S'toko? You wait here for me."

"Right," growls Sotoko, making no effort to calm down. All that rage can't be good for her or her baby, but Orai says nothing, not wanting to piss her off more. She takes the two children's hands, noting how shaky Rue's is. In comparison, Shizuka has a very calm grip.

Then her grip loosens and she twists away, running into the building at full speed. Rue tries to run after her and stops, totally breathless so Orai has to pick him up. She's glad he doesn't weigh much, a normal-sized five-year-old and the kid in her gut would be too much for her. Within minutes they're by the building, and Orai marvels are the amount of graffiti covering it. This has to be coming from the middle school nearby, she can't imagine kids her baby's age writing `Your mother's a cumslut.' "Someone really needs to clean this…" she mutters, shifting Rue to her other side.

Shizuka yells, "Come on!" and Orai obliges, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. The sooner she gets Rue to school the sooner she can get to work and try not to think about him. Then she'll go home and pick him up, go to sleep and forget about him again. Thinking about him too much depresses her; she tries to avoid it when she's not with him.

So she walks the kids upstairs, knocks hard on the door and drops them off, smiling briefly at the teacher and turning away. She can already hear some horrible little boy laughing at her Rue for being carried in, and for a minute she hates herself again for not putting him down. She'd forgotten how stupid some five-year-olds could be. Before she leaves for good she says a big friendly goodbye, but then she's gone.

When she gets to Sotoko's car she pretends she doesn't have a son.

~ ~ ~

Rei: Thank you for reading and hope you liked! ^^ Please make me a happy monkey and leave a review!