Fan Fiction ❯ From Stone ❯ Chapter 2: Desperate Madness & Inner Demons ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Since I obviously don't own the copyright to Teen Titans, I'm taking advantage of the Fair Use Clause of the Copyright laws to write a story with them in it. Who knew the government would protect the little guys? Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

For a long time, all Raven could do was sit starring at the tattered remnants of her collection. She felt numb, not in control, not angry, not afraid, just numb. Forming a coherent thought would have been impossible, if she had actually tried to do so. Her head bowed a bit after looking at the wreckage that was her room. Below her the book Beast Boy had given her, and the simple message it held, sat facing at her. She sat there for a while, unwilling or unable to move herself, she wasn't sure which.

It was a knock on the door that sent her mind reeling as everything that had just happened was finally put into focus. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare or an illusion… this, the chaos she had wrought, was reality. She tried to stand, but she was trembling too much to lift herself up. The knocking continued followed by a slightly muffled voice.

"Hey, Raven, is everything alright in there?" She was dimly aware that it sounded like Robin, but couldn't seem to respond.

The knocking became more rapid, and the voice a bit more rushed, "Raven? Are you ok in there? I heard you yelling…"

Raven felt drained, after running the gamut of emotions, after destroying everything that she owned except one book, after her total failure, she didn't have enough energy to respond to anything Robin said, even as he became more frantic. Finally, she heard the door open heard him gasp, and then after a few seconds, heard Robin rush over. She saw him rush in front of her and crouch, to look at her. "Raven, what happened? Are you ok?"

Raven stared at him; he was saying things quicker, to the point where she couldn't understand what he was saying. He started to fade away… she closed her eyes trying to clear her clouding vision, but things were just getting worse. Everything was growing hazy, the world had wound her up like a top and when it let go she hadn't stopped spinning. She could vaguely feel him putting his hands on her shoulders, but even that feeling started to fade away. Everything grew dark and she closed her eyes.

Robin grabbed Raven, who was falling over, once again shouting for the other Titans to come quickly. A large knot formed in his stomach, he had never seen Raven's room like this; it looked like someone had torn the place to shreds. She wasn't responding to anything he said, she didn't even seem to notice he was there. Her pallor was never what Robin would have called healthy, but now it was even worse: she looked almost completely white. He reached out and touched her throat sighing with relief that she had a pulse. Still, he had to get her to the medical bay. He grabbed his communicator and nearly screamed into it, "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?! RAVEN IS IN TROUBLE! GET TO HER ROOM NOW!"

Starfire appeared seconds later, flying at top speed, she hovered in the hallway, "What has happened?"

"I don't know, but we've got to get Raven to the medical bay, NOW!" He said, lifting her limp body up and handing her to Starfire. Before he could even say another word, Starfire was out of the room, carrying her unconscious friend to the medical bay.

"It will be ok Raven, we will find what is wrong with you." She said, as much to reaffirm herself against her uncertainties as to try to tell Raven.

Cyborg rushed out of the training room, and saw Starfire carrying Raven. "What happened?" He asked, staring, but she had passed him by, he didn't need anything more than a thought to follow her.

Robin rushed into the Medical lab to find Cyborg running scans and Starfire holding Raven's hand, talking to her about how this would all be over soon and that she would be fine. "What happened to her?"

"Man, I don't know! These scans say her upper brain functions are nearly non-existent!" Cyborg looked at Robin and then to Raven, obviously concerned, "I don't know what happened and I don't know what I can do to fix it."

"What do you know?" Robin asked, moving towards Raven. She looked bad, the red jewel on her forehead had fallen off, her brow was covered with sweat, her eyes were darting back and forth under her eyelids, and she looked exceptionally pale. In Raven's dark room, he had thought she had looked bad, now she looked even worse. Her breaths were being taken in with ragged gasps, and suddenly she jerked, pulling her hand away from Starfire. It took a second more, and then she went back to being prone, barely moving at all. Starfire looked at Robin, fear visible in her eyes.

"Her serotonin levels are dangerously low, her fever is 104.2, she's becoming dehydrated, Star, get her some water." Cyborg yelled, and Starfire dashed off to the sink to fetch her some water.

"Low serotonin… fever… dehydration?" Robin looked at Raven for a moment, "Cyborg… what is going on here? What can cause this?"

Cyborg growled frustration and anger rising in his voice, "I already told you, I don't know!" He stared at the scans, frowning, "Come on, hurry up Star, she needs water!" Starfire ran forward, opening Raven's mouth and pouring some water in.

"You must drink, you must…" Raven spat it up, gagging; Starfire put the bottle back to her mouth, "Please drink…"

"Robin, get a towel, cool compress, we've got to get this fever down. I don't know what's going on but this isn't good…" Cyborg stared at Raven who was beginning to struggle.

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Raven had faded into her own mind, she somehow realized, looking around. The darkness and desolate mindscape was immense. She just wanted to be alone and dwell on her failure. She knew something was wrong, she could feel it in herself. She knew something was desperately wrong. Was she dieing? She sat there, trying to think, but unable to really get anything into focus. Everything just seemed wrong. Everything she did was wrong.

Had she ever really helped her friends? She shuddered; all she had ever done was bring them down. She'd insulted Beast Boy and Cyborg, ignored and avoided Starfire, had questioned Robin, and she had destroyed the only things that could have helped Terra. Everything about her life, everything they knew was a lie. She couldn't help, she could only harm. How could she have been so blind as to miss that?

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Beast Boy watched the chaos from the doorway of the medical bay. He stared at Raven, who was the palest shade of white he'd ever seen anyone. Starfire was trying to give her water, and Robin was holding a cold compress to her forehead. Cyborg was busy at the monitor, searching for the cause. Beast Boy couldn't help Raven any more than Raven could help Terra. Everything was so utterly hopeless.

Inside the medical bay Robin stared at Beast Boy. "Get in here and help!" He shouted, but Beast Boy didn't move. Robin snarled, but turned back to Raven. "Cyborg, give me news! What is going on?"

"Man, I told you, I don't know! Someone messed up her mind bad; her entire mental chemistry is shot. What could have caused this?" Cyborg said, running more scans.

Robin stared at him and it dawned on him, "Raven could… she… she ran out of books…"

Cyborg stared at him, "What are you talking about?"

Robin looked back to where Beast Boy had been standing, but he was gone…

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"You can't fix her, can you?"

Raven whirled to find Beast Boy standing behind her, "How?"

"Your books were all over the room, shredded… you did it, didn't you? To prevent Terra from being brought back. You did it on purpose, didn't you?" He scowled at her, anger rising in his voice.

"How did you enter my mind… the mirror… it must have been…" Raven stared at him, her regrets filling her.

"You failed…" His words were bitter but callous… as if he didn't care.

"I… I…" Raven whimpered, "I tried…"

"You FAILED!" Beast Boy screamed at the top of his lungs and lunged at her.

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Raven cringed, her body shaking and pulling away from Robin and Starfire, nearly pulling into a fetal position. "Cyborg, she ran out of books, and… I think she had a nervous breakdown… she told me she was nearly out of books, she told me… and… my share of the burden…" Robin turned back and grasped Raven's hand. "Raven, I know you failed, please, don't worry, come back."

Starfire watched then turned to Cyborg, "I do not understand… what has happened to Raven?"

Cyborg looked at Starfire, whose bright green eyes were tearing up and cheeks were reddening, "I… I don't know…"

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Beast Boy landed a savage kick in Raven's side, she groaned, and tried to move away before he kicked her again. It was far too late for that, and another savage kick sent her sprawling. She couldn't breathe she couldn't fight it was all her fault. Everything was just too much…

"YOU FAILED!" Beast Boy yelled in a nearly incomprehensible snarl. She looked up to see Beast Boy advancing on her, his eyes turning red with hate and rage, and fear gripped Raven.

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Raven thrashed again and she tried desperately to breathe, Robin held her hand tighter, "Raven, please, don't leave, there are more books, you haven't failed us…"

Starfire watched Robin, then grabbed Raven's other hand, "Raven, I know I do not understand, but I wish to understand. Please, tell me what is wrong."

Cyborg stared back at the screen, her breathing was becoming irregular, and her mind activity had been spiking every couple of second and then returning to almost nothing. "Raven…"

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Beast Boy lifted her up and held Raven over the edge of the bridge in her mind. It was a pit to nothing… he was going to completely destroy her. She didn't struggle; she must have deserved it after her failure.

"You failed, Raven, and now you have to face your punishment." Beast Boy's eyes were gleaming an unnatural red and he smiled wickedly, and he held her over the edge of the road in her mind, over the edge of oblivion, "Do you know what the punishment for failure is?" Raven felt tears rolling down her cheeks; she didn't want this to happen… she didn't want to die. "The punishment for failure is death Raven…" she didn't want to die… but the hand released and she fell backwards into the void, watching Beast Boy smile with cruel satisfaction.

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When all mental activity ceased, Cyborg gasped. She was gone… Raven…

The sound of a flat line drew Starfire and Robin's attention, and they stared at the screen. Starfire's eyes went wide and she began to talk more hurriedly to Raven. Robin stopped altogether… he had failed her far worse than Raven had failed Terra…

Cyborg stared at the system, "No… this can't be right!" He slammed his fist into the computer then again and again. Starfire began to cry. Robin watched Cyborg smash the computer, again, and again, and again. He looked at Starfire, then at Raven who had stopped moving.

"Cyborg…" Robin's voice was lost in the sounds of the computer being smashed, "CYBORG!" Cyborg's chest heaved with the effort he exerted crushing the machine, he turned to face Robin, "Cyborg… she's… she's… gone."

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Raven didn't know what to feel as she free fell threw space to oblivion. She guessed it was sadness. Nothing else seemed to describe it. She had failed her friends and herself, and now she would pay for it for all eternity. She was going to know her failure and only her failure until…

The sudden surface beneath her took her breath away. She could barely understand that she stopped, there wasn't supposed to be an end to this… she saw things coming closer, saw Beast Boy snarling in frustration and impotent rage. How was this happening? She felt the wind flutter beneath her for a moment longer, then felt cold stone. She looked around, things seemed so… wrong… how had she been saved? She looked over and gasped as Beast Boy kneeled down next to her. "Raven…" His voice was as it was when she was last at his room, sounding desperate filled with sadness and devoid of any real hope. "Raven… please don't hate me… I just wanted Terra back… I… I never meant for this to happen to you."

Raven stared at him for a moment, head hanging in shame, "I failed… I can't bring Terra back."

Beast Boy nodded, then got up, "I know… I…" But his words were cut off as a savage blow hit him in the jaw.

"FAILURE MEANS DEATH!" The demonic Beast Boy snarled, now revealing his second set of red eyes. Raven's eyes went wide with shock and recognition while Beast Boy groaned as he was lifted up and tossed away.

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Robin had stopped Cyborg from smashing the computer. Starfire was crying hysterically, still grasping her friend's hand. Robin moved towards her, not attempting to move her away and not attempting to console her. He had his own failures in this… everyone did…

The sound of a beep startled the trio, and they looked back at the monitor. Cyborg and Robin gasped and Starfire tried to chuckle between tears.

"Raven, we know you can do this." Robin said, and once again grasped her hand. Starfire put her hand on top of his and squeezed, and then Cyborg placed his on hers.

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She had tricked her, betrayed her, tried to destroy her, and now she attacked Beast Boy. The demon inside Raven's mind had been freed when Raven had failed. Raven stood up, and blasted the false Beast Boy in the back, sending him sprawling. The real Beast Boy got up and rushed to her side.

"Didn't we do this once before?" He asked, gasping.

"Not well enough." Raven shouted, hurling another bolt of magic into the false Beast Boy, tearing the mask from his face. The rest of the demon's falsities fell away, revealing the miniscule part of Raven that she had always tried to keep within her, the parts she always had to control. She blasted the miniscule Raven a final time, and then re-subsumed her into her being.

Beast Boy smiled weakly, "Easier than last time…"

"Beast Boy… I'm sorry…"

He nodded, and held up his hand, "I'm sorry for doing this to you… I… Terra meant… means so much to me… I just wanted her back… but not if I have to loose you."

Raven rushed forward and grabbed him, "I'm not giving up." She said, tears streaming down her face.

"Thanks…" He said, his voice sounding a bit broken up.

After a moment, Raven released him, "I… let me guide you out…"

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"She's stabilized… I don't know how or what happened, but then again, Raven's biology is a bit different from a normal person's." Cyborg said, looking at the monitor.

Robin sighed, "Starfire saw it, but you didn't. Her room was a complete disaster, her books were torn to shreds." Starfire nodded slowly.

Cyborg blinked, "What do you think happened?'

"She snapped… after all the pressure that we put on her… that I put on her… she snapped." Beast Boy said from the doorway, where he stood slumping against the opposite wall.

"How do you know? Where were you?" Robin demanded, remembering that Beast Boy had disappeared when Raven needed the most help.

"I used her mirror… she was being attacked by the demon in her mind…" He lowered his head a little bit, "It looked like me… she thought I was attacking her…" Beast Boy let his head fall into his hands and slumped back against the wall. There was silence for a moment, broken only when Raven stirred slightly.

Starfire turned back to her friend, and clasped her hand, squeezing lightly. "It will be alright, Raven…" She smiled widely, looking up as she felt Raven's hand squeeze hers. "It will be alright." The gleam re-entered Starfire's eyes and she smiled widely.

Beast Boy watched her enthusiasm for Raven grow as his dimmed. In the end, he knew he was still to blame for this, having all this pressure put on Raven. He had told her it was only a few days away, then had cloistered himself away in his room, not coming out for days at a time, leaving Raven to worry. He had let her worry… as he had for her in the not too distant past. She came to his room and had knocked on his door, as he had done for her when she was alone. But she only came with bad tidings, another failed spell, another false incantation, and another potion that did nothing more than smell funny. He hadn't been able to do much more than cry and ask her to go away.

He had told Raven he was sorry. He had told her time after time after time that he was sorry. But he also remembered watching the false him punch and kick her, lift her up over the edge and then drop her… while he stood frozen with fear. He had become the demon in her mind… she feared him more than she feared the beast he had helped to fight before. He had actually paused, watching her fall, still in shock. Only when the demon looked at him was he jarred into action. He had changed form and rescued her… but he still had knots in his stomach. He had been the demon in her mind… with everything he had done… he should just leave. He put on a small, false smile when the others looked at him. He wasn't going to be here when she woke up, he thought to himself, and as the others gathered around Raven, he silently got up and left.