Fan Fiction ❯ Greyscale ❯ goodbye to the old future ( Prologue )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hella good to be back, Fredom* is dead, i couldnt work out the plot, however it may be resurected after this story runs its own course. I know i have no abillity to commit, but i need to rework that story and this simpler story will be much easier for me to do and i might actually get to where the plot is followable. By the way my problems have been mostly allieviated since my last post, so dont think i suckered you into reading my subpar story last time. maybe ill stop trying to hide mty work and begin to write openly and allow myself to feel like i can breathe when i write, but that probably wont happen, i will either be to shy or embarrised to tell people who i am and what i like.






I never knew what i wanted to do with my self, i never thaough that anyone could care about me, i always felt so alone. I dont think i was alone int some fealings, maybe it was because i was so afriad of being hurt, maybe i was just to inadequate for society. I never seemed to be connected with myself i felt distant, i could never pay attention to school, i just doodled or wrote stories but the stories never had any resolution, not even open endings, i could never find the climax, just about 5 pages of description and crap no one cares about till 50 pages in, i was so lost. i just felt that there was more out there. more that i could never aspire to grasp. Maybe a few months ago this woould be a suicde note...

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One day everthing changed, i didnt know that at the time , but it suddenly dawned on me that i was a different person than before. No one could say that any of the events were extraordanary, even really worth talking about, but i feel i must talk about it. It all started on one normal day in september, just like every day, just to normal, the first half of my day had already been filled with all the shit i get from my so called friends and the normal scribbling and crappy stories that had no real plot or resolution or even a start to be honest half the time my two intended romantic leads never met. These stories really sucked, and its also amazing that i could somehow maintain a b+ average. It must have been during my latin class that i realized her preseance in this world, all due to catulluses' lesbia and his middleschool crush.

I would never think of her as a beauty queen, i dont even know if i'd think of her as pretty, to be honest. She wasnt even in the clas i just mentioned that i first noticed her in... i 'm just so lost the way she makes me feel its like im lost in a cloud, im still not sure if the point will ever be made by my rambling so maybe i should just tell you what happened.






September 15:

The story starts tommorrow, but i felt i would be best to show you who i am be fore you make your own judgements, even though you probably have, i feel this best. i woke up at 6am to the alarm, but tho i was awake, i couldnt really move, i had moring amnesia, like every day, and no motivation. i just flailed till i hit the snooze button, and tryed to fall asleep, i had about 3 hours of sleep each night for the last 3 weeks or so, however i couldnt really sleep. i just laid there like a paralysis victim, my mom yelling at me, I wanted to be able to move but i couldnt, to be honest i should have known that this was going to happen but i didnt, and i was late again, for the 4th time that week. to top the problem with lateness is that i didnt have anywhere to be that day, it started with a study hall.

When i finally got to school, after getting through my Urusei Yatsura cd, the best cd i own, I already had gotten a detention for missing homeroom, as if i had commited a major wrong against the school. I went to my first few classes some jackass threw mustard on my jacket, it makes me wish i wasnt so spineless because i could have destroyed this kid. He was about 30 pounds lighter than me and i can fight, quite well actually. i dont know it just didnt seem worth it, but i was pissed, and i wouldnt let it out, i'd keep it bottled up and eventually when talking to someone else it would all come out in a ball of unexplained outbrsts of insults, insults that i definately dont mean.

God I don't know why I try.






Im so sorry I haven't quite been able to spit it out, its like the time I went to a wrestling camp in boston. Everything I say makes sence to me but when other people hear it it makes no sense, like they had never drank 'wooder' and were definitely not able to use the plural of you, 'yous' but it doesn't matter. Ill try next time








I hope this story didn't suck to much, but I know it's a bit hard to do that so, I don't really care, review and tell me what you honestly think, I really do like death threats and the like.



Listening (hear some evil): Uresei Yatsura - Slain by Elf
Watching (see some evil): Garden State
Playing (do some evil): Wrestling


Reading (feel the evil): The Perks of being a Wallflower (again)