Fan Fiction ❯ Harry Homocidal ❯ The first few kills ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: KML 
well, harry starts on his killing spree.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Comedy / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.22.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 188 | Status: Completed
well, harry starts on his killing spree.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Comedy / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.22.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 188 | Status: Completed
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Books </subcats.php?categoryid=202> » Harry Potter
</list.php?categoryid=224> » *Harry Homocidal* text size: (+)
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Author: MKL </profile.php?userid=517866>
R - English - Horror/Humor - Reviews: 4 </reviews.php?storyid=1679703> -
Published: 01-09-04 - Updated: 03-14-04 id:1679703
Author note: *ahem* I?m one of the authors of this really nuts story.
Errr don?t mind all the typos, we wrote this at three a.m. I?m not sure
what we had been smoking to be able to write something this weird,
freaky and perverted.(we don?t actually smoke, at least I think we
don?t...)heh this is gonna go on its own site soon, along with the comic
version! Woohoo! The comic version is so funny...getting off topic!
Enjoy harry homicidal, and please review!
Disclaimer: don?t own harry potter
CHAPTER ONE
Harry Potter, the boy who lived, was currently gnawing his arms
off with his bare teeth. Or he was, until he woke up. He had always had
weird dreams.
He fell asleep again, this time dreaming that he was wearing a
large, feathery hat, and a long green overcoat, a bunch of women in
skimpy clothing were standing there, he waved a cane at them, yelling.
He then woke up gasping, "shit..."
What the fuck's going on with my mother-fuckin' brain? First the
oral sex with Draco, then the Snape-is-my-father (how clichéd, you damn
fanfic bastards), then the Hermione having an affair with Ginny (whoa,
that's new), now a pimp dream! How fucked-up am I? Harry only kept
thinking to kill not Draco, but his ass-of-a-father.
Harry quickly entertained a thought of sending the news of his
weird- ass dreams to Dumbledore, until he realized these weren't really
those kinds of dreams...or were they? He shook his head and told himself
he was being too paranoid. Why would Voldemorts plan of attack involve
strange pairings or him as a pimp. He had to admit, though, an armless
Harry would be less of a threat to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
He was scared to fall asleep again. What was taking over his
mind? Was he finally turning perverted like most of the boys at his
school, Hogwarts? All of a sudden his owl lunged at his head, shrieking.
A face was at the window and it was telling Hedwig to kill, KILL! Harry
beat Hedwig against the wall until she was a bloody, unconscious mass.
"What the fuck is your problem ass-bird?" he murmered kicking the bloody
bundle. He looked to the window but the face was gone.
Who's the mother-fuckin ass? He couldn't help thinking that as
he looked at the window. Strangely, the bed sharing the window was
Dean's bed. Perhaps it was him? Hmmm......nah! Can't be! He has nothing
against me.
Or maybe he does
?Who the fuck's saying that??
Ron's jealously is very common among the male Gryffindors
?Who are you? Show ya ass like a man!?
I?m you, in a sexist, racist, and lust way.
?Ya not fuckin serious!?
Oh, I am, dear, and you know it.
"Whatever" he mumbled as he stumbled back.(ooo rhyming) He was
always irritated right after he woke up. But instead of heading for his
bed, he sat down in a convenient armchair and stared at the occupants of
the dormitory. Who could have done it?? Well, besides Voldemort. Somehow
owls didn't seem to be Voldemort's style. He would have sent in death
eaters before gracing Harry with his presence and trying to kill him.
No, voldemort wasn't likely.
Clean up the owl before you're found out.
"Shut up" Harry mumbled, he nudged Hedwig and she stirred and
slowly sat up, one of her eyes popped out. "Eww, you are fuckin ugly,
bitch." he slammed Hedwig against the wall three more times before her
skull broke and she died, he threw her body out the window just as Ron
woke up. He saw a quick flash of jealousy in Ron's eyes before Ron said
good morning. Harry got dressed and waited for him. They went down to
the common room and left through the portrait hole, they went down to
breakfast.
Wow! Was Hedwig resurrected as Ron or something? Cuz all the
sudden I get this huge-ass size of the ugly dead owl in Ron's clothing.
Only one thing to do:
KILL!!!
"Harry?"
"DIE UGLY BITCH, DIE!!!!! WHY ARE YOU BACK?!?!? YOU WANT MORE
CRAZY- ASS BITCH?!?!? I'LL BRING IT IN MORE BITCHY-OWL!!!!!! DIE FUCKING
OWL- BITCH, DIE!!!!!
Unfortunately, Harry never knew he stabbed Ron with his pocket
knife. His clothing was covered with blood. Harry hid the body in a
nearby closet. Fortunately, it was Filch's closet. The teachers soon
found the body, and sent Filch to Azkaban. So basically, it was a happy
ending after all.
At least, that's what he thought.
Did you like? We think its funny(we being me, M and L)im the only one
who?s really working on this anymore, M and L are lazy bums, they don?t
even help with the comic T_T. I should sic Harry on them...but oh well.
Review, or harry?s comin after you.
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Books </subcats.php?categoryid=202> » Harry Potter
</list.php?categoryid=224> » *Harry Homocidal* text size: (+)
<javascript:updateFontSize('u');> : (-) <javascript:updateFontSize('d');>
Author: MKL </profile.php?userid=517866>
R - English - Horror/Humor - Reviews: 4 </reviews.php?storyid=1679703> -
Published: 01-09-04 - Updated: 03-14-04 id:1679703
Author note: *ahem* I?m one of the authors of this really nuts story.
Errr don?t mind all the typos, we wrote this at three a.m. I?m not sure
what we had been smoking to be able to write something this weird,
freaky and perverted.(we don?t actually smoke, at least I think we
don?t...)heh this is gonna go on its own site soon, along with the comic
version! Woohoo! The comic version is so funny...getting off topic!
Enjoy harry homicidal, and please review!
Disclaimer: don?t own harry potter
CHAPTER ONE
Harry Potter, the boy who lived, was currently gnawing his arms
off with his bare teeth. Or he was, until he woke up. He had always had
weird dreams.
He fell asleep again, this time dreaming that he was wearing a
large, feathery hat, and a long green overcoat, a bunch of women in
skimpy clothing were standing there, he waved a cane at them, yelling.
He then woke up gasping, "shit..."
What the fuck's going on with my mother-fuckin' brain? First the
oral sex with Draco, then the Snape-is-my-father (how clichéd, you damn
fanfic bastards), then the Hermione having an affair with Ginny (whoa,
that's new), now a pimp dream! How fucked-up am I? Harry only kept
thinking to kill not Draco, but his ass-of-a-father.
Harry quickly entertained a thought of sending the news of his
weird- ass dreams to Dumbledore, until he realized these weren't really
those kinds of dreams...or were they? He shook his head and told himself
he was being too paranoid. Why would Voldemorts plan of attack involve
strange pairings or him as a pimp. He had to admit, though, an armless
Harry would be less of a threat to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
He was scared to fall asleep again. What was taking over his
mind? Was he finally turning perverted like most of the boys at his
school, Hogwarts? All of a sudden his owl lunged at his head, shrieking.
A face was at the window and it was telling Hedwig to kill, KILL! Harry
beat Hedwig against the wall until she was a bloody, unconscious mass.
"What the fuck is your problem ass-bird?" he murmered kicking the bloody
bundle. He looked to the window but the face was gone.
Who's the mother-fuckin ass? He couldn't help thinking that as
he looked at the window. Strangely, the bed sharing the window was
Dean's bed. Perhaps it was him? Hmmm......nah! Can't be! He has nothing
against me.
Or maybe he does
?Who the fuck's saying that??
Ron's jealously is very common among the male Gryffindors
?Who are you? Show ya ass like a man!?
I?m you, in a sexist, racist, and lust way.
?Ya not fuckin serious!?
Oh, I am, dear, and you know it.
"Whatever" he mumbled as he stumbled back.(ooo rhyming) He was
always irritated right after he woke up. But instead of heading for his
bed, he sat down in a convenient armchair and stared at the occupants of
the dormitory. Who could have done it?? Well, besides Voldemort. Somehow
owls didn't seem to be Voldemort's style. He would have sent in death
eaters before gracing Harry with his presence and trying to kill him.
No, voldemort wasn't likely.
Clean up the owl before you're found out.
"Shut up" Harry mumbled, he nudged Hedwig and she stirred and
slowly sat up, one of her eyes popped out. "Eww, you are fuckin ugly,
bitch." he slammed Hedwig against the wall three more times before her
skull broke and she died, he threw her body out the window just as Ron
woke up. He saw a quick flash of jealousy in Ron's eyes before Ron said
good morning. Harry got dressed and waited for him. They went down to
the common room and left through the portrait hole, they went down to
breakfast.
Wow! Was Hedwig resurrected as Ron or something? Cuz all the
sudden I get this huge-ass size of the ugly dead owl in Ron's clothing.
Only one thing to do:
KILL!!!
"Harry?"
"DIE UGLY BITCH, DIE!!!!! WHY ARE YOU BACK?!?!? YOU WANT MORE
CRAZY- ASS BITCH?!?!? I'LL BRING IT IN MORE BITCHY-OWL!!!!!! DIE FUCKING
OWL- BITCH, DIE!!!!!
Unfortunately, Harry never knew he stabbed Ron with his pocket
knife. His clothing was covered with blood. Harry hid the body in a
nearby closet. Fortunately, it was Filch's closet. The teachers soon
found the body, and sent Filch to Azkaban. So basically, it was a happy
ending after all.
At least, that's what he thought.
Did you like? We think its funny(we being me, M and L)im the only one
who?s really working on this anymore, M and L are lazy bums, they don?t
even help with the comic T_T. I should sic Harry on them...but oh well.
Review, or harry?s comin after you.