Fan Fiction ❯ Hello, My Name Is Death ❯ Big Words For Those With Small Brains ( Chapter 3 )

It's not long before you can feel solid earth beneath your feet again, Saikoro dawns her black hood dragging you along by the hands.

"Hey, hey, where exactly are you taking me?"

"That information is confidential."

You tilt your head to one side, "What?"

"It means that I am prohibited from telling you."

"Umm…"

"Good Mary Mother of Jesus," Saikoro says, throwing a book into your hands. On the cover it says in plain black letters, Big Words For Those With Small Brains…

"Hey," you wine, casting the book aside.

You are now aware of the office like atmosphere of the room. You see men and women in business suits, all with a different, vibrant hair color. Some have little white wings on their backs, and some have horns sprouting from their foreheads, and some look like normal mortal people. Saikoro drags you on, as you stare down at the woman and men, some typing madly on computers, some scribbling things on clipboards or notebooks.

Saikoro pushes open a door marked Employees Only, leading you into a white narrow hallway, at the end of which is a door that simply reads God. You sigh, closing your eyes briefly, and then let Saikoro drag you into the room.

Inside, it is dark, all you can see is a big black leather chair which is turned around, severely restricting your ability to see the figure who sits in the chair.
"Umm, God, sir…?" Saikoro begins softly.

"What?"

"Your Excellence sir, we have another one." Saikoro speaks with caution. The man in the chair turns around. You shield your eyes from the piercing white light…

"Another?" he says, almost in a sigh. He faces you, "What do you think you're doing? Dying before your date…?"

"I didn't mean to," you argue, "I was just driving…"

"That's not the point! You died! Now what do we do with you? Do you know?" he says.

"Umm…not really."

Saikoro glares at you, "If I may interrupt, I think we should get her a position…"

"As a REAPER!? Are you kidding, this girl would take them all to hell!"

"Isn't that the point?" you ask.

"It's a figure of speech…" he says, annoyed.

Saikoro sends you the "shut up" look. You zip it obediently.

"Fine, Saikoro, since we have nothing else to do with her…" he says, spinning his chair back around, "but you have to train her."

"WHAT!?" Saikoro pounds a fist into the desk, "No, I won't be stuck with this idiot! She'll be the end of me! You can't ask this of me, sir, I just can't…!"

"I've made my decision, Saikoro. Now go."

"But - - God sir - -"

"Goodbye, Saikoro."

Saikoro grumbles, grabbing your hand and leading you to the exit. "Come on, you've got lots to do…."

"Really? I'm gonna be a reaper! Yey!"

"For fourteen years," Saikoro says, "then you'll have to retire to heaven."

"What if I don't want to?"

"That's just the way things are."

"So when do you retire?" you ask innocently.

"Never, I'm full time," she says, leading you past the business people again.

"Why can't I be full time?"

"You can, but trust me, you don't want to be. Forever looks prettier on paper…it's hell to count the years though," she says.

"Oh," you say. "Well, fourteen years ain't bad."

"You'll be returned to your human body for that time, and take souls in secret," she says, opening a door and thrusting you in. "I'll give you a list, a very very long list, and once you've filled your quota you can choose to retire or take full time employment."

She gestures for you to sit down in one of the red upholstered chairs.

"But before you can have your body back, you have to undergo a sort of reaper training."

You roll your eyes, "How long will that take?"

"Oh, I don't know, a few weeks at most. When you start out, you'll be assigned a partner…just so you don't screw things up. After a year or so you can handle things on your own."

You nod, soaking up all the information.

"If you have not taken all the souls on your list by the end of fourteen years, then you will be automatically off the job, and you will be forced to retire."

"That's' not all that fair," you say, glaring, "So when I do take the last I'll have a choice…?"

"Yes, yes you will." Saikoro smiles. "That said and done, we better start."