Fan Fiction ❯ I Know There Is More To You ❯ The Only Man He Ever Loved ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Mary had no idea what to say. She was definitely mad at Josh for leaving all day and not saying anything, but he’d just killed someone, or something, right before her eyes. His whole persona looked different, and she noticed some kind of necklace about his neck, something she’d never seen before.

“Josh...what the...where have you been?! What’s going on?” Mary questioned him, hoping to get the least bit of a clue to the events.

Josh unhinged his jaw from the now dead creature and started walking away, wiping the blood off his face. He couldn’t bear to look at her.

“I can’t stay. I can never let go of what happened, and I can’t ever escape it. I lied.”

Mary was unsure of what he meant, but then thought back to the night before, when he’d spoke of his past, but didn’t really go into detail.

“Josh...I thought you said you were going to let go, that you were going to move on...”

Josh kept on walking. “I lied. I can’t stay here and lie to you like this. I have to be alone for a while...I need to think.”

Mary was going to pull him back to the house at this rate. “Tell me what’s going on, Josh. I understand your past had to be rough, but...this is getting out of hand.”

Josh turned back, glaring at her, pain filled his eyes.

“I never knew my parents, and I had no family except for the one person who I made to be my brother. He felt the same for me...I swear I loved that guy. And I watched him die. I watched his skull crack open on the cement. I can’t ever escape that. He was the only thing I could ever call family, and he got ripped away from me. I can’t let that go.”

Mary didn’t think that Josh was telling the whole truth about his past before, but she could tell by the way he looked and how sad he was that he wasn’t acting.

“Josh...I’m...sorry...I didn’t know...I had no idea...”

“Yeah. Well now you do...now you get it. That hell hole took all that ever mattered to me. That was last September...the time just flies by.” Josh turned back and started walking again. “I might be back sometime today. Maybe tomorrow. I’m not sure. Just don’t look for me.”

Mary stood in her place, watching as the boy that she loved walked off in a miserable state. She felt like she couldn’t let him go like that, but she knew that she had to.

I can’t wait for you to get back, Josh...because I can’t stand to watch you like this. I’ll do all I can to make you better...I’ll do whatever it takes.

Josh knew where the graveyard was. The only question now was if he could still find the grave.
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The other side of life. The afterlife...wherever we are to go when we die. People suggest mostly heaven and hell...some say that there is a purgatory, some believe that our souls are forever trapped in limbo. It would be a beautiful thing if we were to know...

–Untitled, unfinished writing on philosophy, author: Joshua Warren.
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Joshes unnamed friend was walking around in wherever the afterlife had brought him. It could be assumed as heaven, seeing as he was walking on fluffy white clouds, under a bright blue sky. Though he could no longer feel pain, something unpleasant welled up in his heart, as if he was connected to Josh, and able to sense his own anguish.

“I’ll see him when he gets to the grave. I can’t stand to see him like this anymore. I died because I had to escape...but he now has something to live for...that girl is special, and I’m glad she found him. He might be dead if it weren’t for her.”

The boy started walking down a long, white stairway that appeared to come out of nowhere. The reunion had been scheduled.

In the living world, Mary had returned home, locking the door behind her. It was still in the dead of the night, and she felt so eerily alone. Normally she liked the night, but after that last encounter, she was starting to hate it.

“I don’t know what’s going on...or what that thing was...or...why Josh...killed it..” she said to herself, still trying to get a grip on the whole situation.

“I guess I’ll just try and do something nice for him...something to cheer him up when he gets back. That is...if he ever comes back.” she hung her head and walked up to her room, hoping something horrible hadn’t just happened.

Josh was walking along a dirt path by now, able to see clearly in the pitch black darkness. He’d gotten to the graveyard a few minutes ago, and was now just desperately looking for the grave of his friend. His feet were covered in dirt, his face twisted in pain, some blood still remaining on his neck from the earlier encounter. The path seemed to twist onward before him and go on forever, graves surrounding him on both sides, and none of them looked like the right one.

“This feels so damn hopeless...I know its here, I know it is...but how much farther can it possibly be?”he asked himself, not wanting to go much any deeper into the horrible place.

After walking for what seemed to be miles, Josh picked up on a scent that he would never forget, one that was still lingering almost a year later.

“Its nearby. Less than twenty feet away...I know it now. I can smell you...I can feel you. There’s no need to hide any longer.”

Josh quickly turned to his right and ran ahead, seeing a grave that appeared separate from all the others. It was the only one that had no flowers on it, dead or living, and was extremely plain.
“I still think that they should’ve given you a more honorable gravestone...those bastards. I wish I could’ve killed them...wish I could’ve ripped out their guts and made them swallow them all back down...”

Josh fell to his knees over the grave and began pounding the ground, the words “its not fair” running over and over again in his head. Only a few minutes after he fell down, however, the gravestone started to glow, a brighter presence flowing out of it like a saving light.

“What the...wait...Den...is that you? Is that really you?” Josh was astonished, he stared up at the cumulating white light and watched as it started to take figure, it resembled the boy he’d lost just a year ago.

“Yeah. Its me...now get up off your knees. I raised you to be stronger than that.”

Josh stood up slowly, his legs feeling like they might break down at any moment.

“You’ve gotten stronger, Josh...and you’ve certainly gotten bigger. But I can see also that you’re much more miserable than you were when I left...” Den said to him, analyzing him.

“Den...you said you wanted me to stay exactly as I was...you were hoping I hadn’t aged a day. But...I think I’ve gotten a lot older, so to speak...” Josh told him.

“Seems true...you do look older, and more mature...the world just keeps on being so harsh to you. Its just still hurts that I can’t do anything about it for you. And you can call me Dende...you’re the only person who ever got to do that.” he replied.

“You shouldn’t be hurt from that...you never could’ve done anything. We can’t ever change the world, Dende. You told me so yourself...but then why do we keep dreaming about it?” Josh asked.

Dende smiled at Josh in the way he had so many times before. “You’ve matured, Josh...but you still have that same hope. When we dream, we hope that the dream will come true...so when we dream of the impossible, we will always have hope...just like you do right now.”

Josh smiled a bit. “I guess you’re right...I still have hope...but everyday, it feels like hope is slipping further from my grasp.”

“Josh...hope is closer than its ever been to you. You now have a beautiful girlfriend, and she seems really hopeful herself. She’s nice, and she seems like someone that you could be with for a very long time. You two are really perfect for each other. And she is the hope that has kept you alive because I was gone...”

Josh looked away slowly. “No. She hasn’t replaced you...she kept me alive, maybe...but only in the essence that she fed me and took care of me, right?”

Dende grinned. “She’s done more for you than I can ever do, and more than I ever could’ve done. She is someone that you need. Besides, you two are in love. In a way, she probably needs you too.”

Josh sighed. “You’re right...you always were...its too bad that you came out so much smarter than me.”

Dende smiled and started to fade. “Well Josh...I think I’ve done my work here. Its time I get going...”

Josh quickly hugged him and cried one last tear. “Alright then...just...don’t stay away forever. I want to visit you again as soon as I possibly can...”

Dende hugged him back, but then faded away completely. “Okay. I’ll put in the good word for you. And take good care of Mary...you shouldn’t ever leave her like this again. Go apologize.”

Josh let go, smiling softly. After the light faded, he took off the necklace and set it down on the gravestone. It suddenly faded into thin air.

“I know that your gift gave me power, supernatural strength...but...I still have it. I can feel that strength flowing within me. I no longer need to hold on to this for you...I just want you to have it back. You’re always with me anyway...and you’ve made me strong enough. I’ll still never let my loved ones die again.”

With that, Josh turned away and walked on the long dirt path back to the park, his conscious feeling clear, and a weight lifted off of his chest. He was ready to face Mary again, and ready to start his life over once more.
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Mary was busying herself. She’d felt some kind of empowerment, about the same time that Josh found Dende, and her mood had been brightened, even if only a little bit. She’d gone down to the kitchen, and was cooking the best breakfast that she could.

Its not just for him though, I’m doing it for myself too...I really need this.

Just as she’d thought of him, Josh arrived at the front door of the house. He turned the knob, noticing it was locked. He just sat there and waited, hoping that Mary would come to open it quickly. His wishes were granted. She rushed to the front door and opened it, letting Josh in and ushering him to the couch.

“Josh...listen...I really didn’t have any idea that you’d lost so much at that horrible place. I’m sorry.” She’d sat next to him on the couch.

Josh smiled softly at her. “Its not your fault. I never told you exactly what happened...and I really should’ve. I’m sorry myself...I know I scared you before...but...I was only defending you. I made a promise to my friend...that I would never let my loved ones die, ever again.”

Mary did her best to smile. She would have no trouble admitting that he freaked her out. “Its ok, Josh...you did what you had to...and I’m glad that you’re so dedicated. But maybe next time you could just wound him...”

Josh wanted to laugh. “No...I couldn’t. Not how I was...and I couldn’t have taken the chance. I didn’t want him to get up. I can’t ever break that promise.”

Josh sighed softly, taking a deep breath, and quickly smelling the food. “But don’t worry, Mary-Chan. Things should go back to normal...I know they will now. I’m sure of it. But...I still won’t forget him. He was the only man I ever loved.”

Mary was confused at exactly what Josh meant, his accent and the tone of his voice kept her wondering. “I understand. I don’t expect you to. But...I do hope you’ll join me for some breakfast...and then a nap.”

Josh was delighted. “Sounds great to me...and thanks...for understanding. Thanks for everything, Mary...I guess I can never tell you how much I appreciate you, really.”

Josh leaned over to Mary and they kissed for just a bit. They then took each other’s hands and walked into the kitchen, sharing what might be the best breakfast they ever had together. The nap that followed was needed, they didn’t even realize that the sun was just coming up as they fell into Mary’s bed, still entwined with each other.



Sorry about the delay on these last two chapters. I’ve been lazy and summer is here, so I lose track of time...by...days. Hope you guys liked them both, at least. But to clear this up right now...since I know people will ask about Josh and Dende, here’s the inside scoop.

Josh did, technically, love Dende in every single way that it was possible to love a person. Dende felt the same way about Josh. The big X factor is that Josh was only bi-curious at most, and Dende was strictly straight. They were happy simply acting as brothers for each other.

The other questions...well, yes, Dende’s name does have some kind of an origin, but its too long to explain at the moment. And if Dende is also based on a real person...well...he could be. He’s more lightly based on several people. So there. Keep reading, people! Next update coming soon.