Fan Fiction ❯ I'll Be ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don’t own Teen Titans, but if I did, Beast Boy and Raven would have done much more than just hug in “Spellbound”. I don’t own the song either. It belongs to my favorite group Simple Plan.

Summery: After the Beast incident, Beast Boy lost all respect from his teammates, making him almost go over the edge. Can Raven help him gain his friends back before things get worse? No longer a One-Shot


I’ll Be

Chapter 2

Beast Boy’s POV

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A few hours after our talk, I find Raven has fallen asleep, still holding me on the floor in my room. Her words keep ringing in my head. You’re not alone, Beast Boy. My eyes focus on the gun lying by us, the bullets surrounding it. As I focus my green eyes on them, I am reminded of everything. All the pain I’ve been feeling, why I almost took my life, and how Raven stopped me.


I feel slightly better when I remind myself that she loves me back. Although she loves me, it doesn’t take away the anguish and hurt that flows through me.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain


They all hate me. Rob, Cy, Star. I wonder why they won’t forgive me. And yet- a part of me can’t blame them. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself. I would think that at least Starfire would forgive me. I mean, the longest she’s been mad at me was a couple of days, because of that prank, but it’s been almost a week since I took the antidote, and nothing. I look out my window and realize it’s still night time.

I pick up Raven and lay her on the bottom bunk of my bed, giving her a small kiss on the forehead. My heart flutters slightly as my lips touched her porcelin skin. I pick up the gun and a bullet and make my way to the roof. I sit on the roof and load the gun. But this time, I just twirl the gun in my hands, my mind unable to escape the pain. I don’t understand why they hate me so much. I can’t stand it when people are sad. All I try to do is make people smile. I wince as I realize how fast Rob, Star, and Cy judged me all just because of the way I acted ONE NIGHT.

They others don’t understand how much pain I’m going through and how much they hurt me when they pretend I’m not there. The way they act around me now, makes me wonder if I really DID hurt Raven when I was in Beast form. I wonder if I intentionally wanted to hurt her. I know if I had control, that I would never hurt her.

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I stare at the gun in my gloved hands. I consider killing myself again, but change my mind when I think about what Raven said. Can you imagine all the hurt you would cause me. Instead, I throw the gun off the tower. I tense up when I feel someone sit beside me. I realize it’s Raven.

“Thanks for not trying again.” She says, wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m just glad that someone on the team cares.” I mutter. “It hurts so much, Raven. The pain is almost unbearable. What did I do to make them hate me so much? I feel like I’ve been tossed off the team, and wasn’t important enough to be informed of it. I wasn’t myself just one night and they all act like I’m a disease. What’s wrong with me?”

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

Raven pulls my chin so I can look into her eyes. I try to shield the pain from mine, but she sees them anyway. I can see her wince slightly, probably because she can feel it too. “Beast Boy, there’s nothing wrong with you. They are the one with the problem, not you.”

“I know that. But I still care about them. They are like my family.” I pause to think about what I just said. “They are family.” I correct myself. “You guys are all I have left, and their hatred is cutting me up on the inside.”
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

“I’m going to talk to them. They have to know what they’re doing to you. I have to at least try. I love you, and it hurts me to see you in so much pain. I’ll do anything and everything to make it right again.”

Her words are comforting. I can feel some of the pain leaving me for the moment. But I’m afraid that’ll make things worse. I shake my head. “No. I don’t want to pull you into this. This is my problem, not yours.”

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

“The way you’re handling it isn’t good for your health. I mean, think about it. You almost committed suicide! You are not strong enough emotionally to handle this issue alone. The team needs you, whether the others realize it or not. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.” I say, trying to sound convincing.

“You can’t promise me that. Especially since you almost took your life.”

I sigh in defeat. “Okay, Rae, you win. Just please be careful. I don’t want them to end up hating you too.”

“I don’t care if they start hating me or not. Beast Boy, when I try to talk to each of them, I have to be alone with them. But before I do this, I have to be absolutely sure that you won’t attempt to hurt yourself again.”

I kiss her softly, grateful that she is willing to do this for me. I know it’s going to be hard, but I am willing to give her my word. “I give you my word as a man.”

She smiles at me, making the ground shake. We stare at the moon together. I hope she can help me soon, and that I can hold on to my promise.


How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

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Replies:

rikagirls: I’m glad you like my story as a one-shot. I hope you like this chapter as I develop it into a story.

Kstar: Thanks for the encouragement. I’ve decided I shall

BlackGothFaerie: You’re wish is my command. I hope you like this new chapter. Tell me how I’m doing.

FantasyObsessed: *blushes* thanks. Hope you liked Chapter 2.