Fan Fiction ❯ If Only ❯ If Only ( One-Shot )

If Only
By: Lady Lolita

Story blurb: This is from the point of view of a man watching a friend that he wishes were more than a friend, on a date with someone else.

Warnings: male/male situations, POV (point of view), slight angst

I shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't be here. It's obvious that he's happy. I should be glad that he's happy. So, why do I feel so empty inside? I'm torturing myself, that's why. He's with another guy, out at the movies, in the center of the seating area, and I'm in the back, watching him.

I know that this is probably considered stalking. But, I don't plan on turning this into anything. I can't say that I just want to see him, because he's my friend, I can see him whenever I want to. It's just that his boyfriend takes so much of his time...Time away from me, that we could be spending together. But, I have to realize, that man is his boyfriend, I'm not. I'm just his friend.

You know, his boyfriend obviously has to be sick of me. I know he sees me every once in awhile, and he probably realizes it's more than just coincidence that I'm there, while he and MY friend are out on a date. But, I can't help it. I'm just glad that he doesn't say anything. He glances at me, gives me an odd confused look, and doesn't say anything about it. It's just like he lets it go, forgets about it. He's a great guy, don't get me wrong. It's not a question of my thinking he isn't good enough for my friend. That isn't something I can decide.

But, I'll be forever grateful to the guy for not saying anything to my friend. I know that if he ever found out I was following them around, he probably wouldn't want to be around me, anymore. I mean, I'd be the same way, if somebody was following me around. Especially if it was somebody I considered a friend. I mean, talk about freaky, right?

I just can't help it, though. I had several chances to tell him how I felt, long before either of us knew this guy he's dating now existed. But, I never said anything. So, basically, this is all my fault, that I'm stuck here watching, instead of being the one to be with him. I had my chance, I had more than just mine, and I blew it.

How could someone blow a chance like that so many times? If there's a God, he was very generous, giving me all of those chances, and I kept ignoring them, and pushing the chances away, because I was self-conscious.

If only I had taken at least one of those chances to tell him how I felt, to tell him what he means to me, maybe I would be the one sitting down there with him right now, kissing him while everybody else was busy watching the movie. Maybe, I'd be the lucky guy he ends up with. But, I'm not.

Instead, I'm the guy that's sitting up here in the back row, ignoring the movie, and watching the guy his heart tells him is the one, as if he had nothing better to do. I'm the guy that sits up here, and watches the guy he wants have a good time out on a date...with someone else.


The End