Fan Fiction ❯ Illusia ❯ Sawyer - A Disturbed Mind 1 ( Chapter 18 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serenitychan13 
Chapter 1: Tears and Healing
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.24.2004 | Updated On: 01.24.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 166 | Status: Completed
Chapter 1: Tears and Healing
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.24.2004 | Updated On: 01.24.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 166 | Status: Completed
Sawyer - A Disturbed Mind
Chapter 1
She’s so innocent…
She never knew I had been awake the whole time. Never knew that I had been watching her all night. When I had first seen her drifting into nightmares, I wondered whether or not I should wake her. I didn’t have to.
I never knew something so small could be so loud!
A scream like that should have rudely awakened every living creature in the vicinity of that godforsaken cave. Even so, I immediately turned over, acting as if I had been asleep the entire time. If she screamed like that just from a bad dream, who knew what she might do if she found out I was watching her…
I heard her get up but decided to continue feigning sleep. What I never expected was for her to come and lay down beside me. Didn’t she have any idea what could happen to her? Still, I can’t say I was complaining…
Truly, she is a total innocent…
I noticed my hair had fallen over part of her face. I was about to brush it away when she moved her hand toward her ear. As she shifted her hand around sleepily for a second, I was shocked when her fingertips delicately brushed the skin of my cheek. Though she was unaware of it, her touch was so tender, it left behind it what felt like tiny, warm sparks. It made my heart jerk painfully. I knew what I was going to end up doing and I knew it would break her heart.
Still, I knew I had to earn her trust completely. The success of my mission hung dependant on the heart of an innocent young girl. And if things continued in the way they were going, why, I couldn’t have planned it better! Still, there was a stinging sensation in my heart that refused to subside… Was it guilt maybe?
I looked down at the tiny girl beside me. The poor thing was starting to twitch a little in her sleep. I gasped as her elbow dug painfully into my ribcage and winced as her heel connected sharply with my shin. Obviously, she was fighting something in her dreams. And from the sharp pains in my side and in my shin, I could guess that she was winning. She was talking in her sleep too. I heard her soft, sleepy voice shake and I took a closer look at her, my eyes long since used to the darkness.
She was crying. Tears shone on her face in the few streaks of moonlight.
“Grampa Bear… Why… why did you leave me? Pappa… Don’t you go too… I don’t ever want to be alone… Don’t leave me again…”
She was calling for her family. She must have been homesick.
I would not know. I never had a family. Never had a home to miss.
Tears were streaming down her thin face, though her eyes were tightly shut. I must admit, I did not know what to do. I was very experienced in holding back my own emotions, but quite the novice at dealing with the emotions of others, having been alone for such a long time. I lay there and watched her cry for a few minutes before, somehow, an instinct that had been lying dormant deep inside me kicked in.
Slowly, giving her every opportunity to wake up and tell me to stop, I slipped my arms around her thin form, pulling her closer to me. She was shaking all over. I don’t know what told me to comfort her, but it just seemed that I couldn’t let her cry. Something told me that she shouldn’t be crying.
I began to rock her back and forth, soothing her by stroking her back. Completely by accident, sword-calloused fingers found the rip in her dress and the newly-reopened gash in her back. Her eyes flew open as pain obviously cut through her small body. Her whole body jerked and blood spattered my hand.
“Oh!”
Bright eyes, red from crying, stared fearfully up at me.
“Where am I?”
For some reason, I knew I had to reassure her, tell her that everything was going to be alright. It felt wrong, somehow, to be deceiving her like this, but I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself go soft now. I tried to shake it off by being firm with her.
“Don’t worry about it. You were just dreaming… Go back to sleep…”
She tried to twist her arm around to touch the gash, but snatched it back, gasping in pain as tears sprang to her eyes again.
“But… I’m bleeding…”
Her eyes looked so scared, so innocent in her fear. She really didn’t know what was going on. She had no clue what she was doing to my heart. My tone softened.
“I think I accidentally touched that gash on your back. I’m sorry…”
She continued to stare at me, only now she looked dazed, like she had just woken up from a smart blow to the head. She blinked at me slowly, apparently trying to work out what I just said. Her eyes were still red from crying in her sleep and they were still filled with tears of pain.
Impatiently, I tried to coerce a response out of her.
“Are you alright?”
She still only looked dazed. Finally I heard a soft voice.
“I think so…”
I saw her flinch but try to hide it. It stung me deep inside to see her in pain. For the first time in so long, I felt the need to protect someone else. This was an unfamiliar new feeling. I tried changing my tone of voice, thinking that maybe I sounded too harsh and that was what scared her. I tried to sound as gentle and non-threatening as possible.
“I can take care of it for you… I can heal it… Would you like that?”
She looked up at me, blinked slowly a few times, then nodded mutely.
“Then just lie still… This is deep and will take awhile to heal completely…”
She looked scared again, but did as I told her. I smiled at her, though I knew she couldn’t see it. She was so childlike in her trusting nature. It was as if she sensed somehow that I had good intentions. I, on the other hand, knew exactly how this was going to affect her later. I couldn’t let my stupid emotions, or hers either, get in the way of my mission.
This will only be harder on you in the end… I’m sorry, Princess…
“Relax… just relax… I promise; this won’t hurt at all… I promise…”
I felt her muscles tense for a second, then relax completely, leaving me to support her full weight on one arm. She seemed to weigh nothing at all. Gently, I settled her limp form back on her blanket and concentrated as I had taught myself. Soon, I felt the familiar sensation in the palm of my right hand and it began to glow a faint dark purple.
Tentatively, I reached that hand to her back, laying it gingerly over the growing blood stain on her lavender dress. As I began stroking her back, I came into contact with bruised, bloody skin. She stiffened under my touch.
As soon as my hand touched the worst part of the gash in her back, she let out a soft sob, trying to hide it with an all-too-obviously-false cough. Though she was trying so hard to be strong, she was turning a sickeningly pale color. Still, she bit her lip, refusing to let herself cry out in pain. She wanted so badly to show me that she was strong, that she was not the child she seemed to be.
Such a spirit…
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know it was that bad… I can do much better…”
Softly, quickly, I fluttered my fingers over the worst of the gash. It began to glow silver, with faint dark purple streaks. She whimpered a little and bit her lip harder, sinking her teeth deep into the tender flesh. Blood dripped onto her hand. The dark red stood out in prominent contrast to how pale her skin seemed in the silvery moonlight.
Slowly, the wounded skin began to come back together and seal itself. With a temporary seal in place, I started stroking the palm of my hand softly along the length of her back. Soon there was no mark left on her pale olive skin, save for a faint scar. In time, it would be completely invisible
I continued softly stroking her back until her breathing became slow and regular once again, disturbed only by the occasional hiccup. I wondered why this action seemed soothing to me as well as calming her. Easing the deeply-sleeping girl back up beside me, I finally settled into a light sleep myself.
Chapter 1
She’s so innocent…
She never knew I had been awake the whole time. Never knew that I had been watching her all night. When I had first seen her drifting into nightmares, I wondered whether or not I should wake her. I didn’t have to.
I never knew something so small could be so loud!
A scream like that should have rudely awakened every living creature in the vicinity of that godforsaken cave. Even so, I immediately turned over, acting as if I had been asleep the entire time. If she screamed like that just from a bad dream, who knew what she might do if she found out I was watching her…
I heard her get up but decided to continue feigning sleep. What I never expected was for her to come and lay down beside me. Didn’t she have any idea what could happen to her? Still, I can’t say I was complaining…
Truly, she is a total innocent…
I noticed my hair had fallen over part of her face. I was about to brush it away when she moved her hand toward her ear. As she shifted her hand around sleepily for a second, I was shocked when her fingertips delicately brushed the skin of my cheek. Though she was unaware of it, her touch was so tender, it left behind it what felt like tiny, warm sparks. It made my heart jerk painfully. I knew what I was going to end up doing and I knew it would break her heart.
Still, I knew I had to earn her trust completely. The success of my mission hung dependant on the heart of an innocent young girl. And if things continued in the way they were going, why, I couldn’t have planned it better! Still, there was a stinging sensation in my heart that refused to subside… Was it guilt maybe?
I looked down at the tiny girl beside me. The poor thing was starting to twitch a little in her sleep. I gasped as her elbow dug painfully into my ribcage and winced as her heel connected sharply with my shin. Obviously, she was fighting something in her dreams. And from the sharp pains in my side and in my shin, I could guess that she was winning. She was talking in her sleep too. I heard her soft, sleepy voice shake and I took a closer look at her, my eyes long since used to the darkness.
She was crying. Tears shone on her face in the few streaks of moonlight.
“Grampa Bear… Why… why did you leave me? Pappa… Don’t you go too… I don’t ever want to be alone… Don’t leave me again…”
She was calling for her family. She must have been homesick.
I would not know. I never had a family. Never had a home to miss.
Tears were streaming down her thin face, though her eyes were tightly shut. I must admit, I did not know what to do. I was very experienced in holding back my own emotions, but quite the novice at dealing with the emotions of others, having been alone for such a long time. I lay there and watched her cry for a few minutes before, somehow, an instinct that had been lying dormant deep inside me kicked in.
Slowly, giving her every opportunity to wake up and tell me to stop, I slipped my arms around her thin form, pulling her closer to me. She was shaking all over. I don’t know what told me to comfort her, but it just seemed that I couldn’t let her cry. Something told me that she shouldn’t be crying.
I began to rock her back and forth, soothing her by stroking her back. Completely by accident, sword-calloused fingers found the rip in her dress and the newly-reopened gash in her back. Her eyes flew open as pain obviously cut through her small body. Her whole body jerked and blood spattered my hand.
“Oh!”
Bright eyes, red from crying, stared fearfully up at me.
“Where am I?”
For some reason, I knew I had to reassure her, tell her that everything was going to be alright. It felt wrong, somehow, to be deceiving her like this, but I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself go soft now. I tried to shake it off by being firm with her.
“Don’t worry about it. You were just dreaming… Go back to sleep…”
She tried to twist her arm around to touch the gash, but snatched it back, gasping in pain as tears sprang to her eyes again.
“But… I’m bleeding…”
Her eyes looked so scared, so innocent in her fear. She really didn’t know what was going on. She had no clue what she was doing to my heart. My tone softened.
“I think I accidentally touched that gash on your back. I’m sorry…”
She continued to stare at me, only now she looked dazed, like she had just woken up from a smart blow to the head. She blinked at me slowly, apparently trying to work out what I just said. Her eyes were still red from crying in her sleep and they were still filled with tears of pain.
Impatiently, I tried to coerce a response out of her.
“Are you alright?”
She still only looked dazed. Finally I heard a soft voice.
“I think so…”
I saw her flinch but try to hide it. It stung me deep inside to see her in pain. For the first time in so long, I felt the need to protect someone else. This was an unfamiliar new feeling. I tried changing my tone of voice, thinking that maybe I sounded too harsh and that was what scared her. I tried to sound as gentle and non-threatening as possible.
“I can take care of it for you… I can heal it… Would you like that?”
She looked up at me, blinked slowly a few times, then nodded mutely.
“Then just lie still… This is deep and will take awhile to heal completely…”
She looked scared again, but did as I told her. I smiled at her, though I knew she couldn’t see it. She was so childlike in her trusting nature. It was as if she sensed somehow that I had good intentions. I, on the other hand, knew exactly how this was going to affect her later. I couldn’t let my stupid emotions, or hers either, get in the way of my mission.
This will only be harder on you in the end… I’m sorry, Princess…
“Relax… just relax… I promise; this won’t hurt at all… I promise…”
I felt her muscles tense for a second, then relax completely, leaving me to support her full weight on one arm. She seemed to weigh nothing at all. Gently, I settled her limp form back on her blanket and concentrated as I had taught myself. Soon, I felt the familiar sensation in the palm of my right hand and it began to glow a faint dark purple.
Tentatively, I reached that hand to her back, laying it gingerly over the growing blood stain on her lavender dress. As I began stroking her back, I came into contact with bruised, bloody skin. She stiffened under my touch.
As soon as my hand touched the worst part of the gash in her back, she let out a soft sob, trying to hide it with an all-too-obviously-false cough. Though she was trying so hard to be strong, she was turning a sickeningly pale color. Still, she bit her lip, refusing to let herself cry out in pain. She wanted so badly to show me that she was strong, that she was not the child she seemed to be.
Such a spirit…
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know it was that bad… I can do much better…”
Softly, quickly, I fluttered my fingers over the worst of the gash. It began to glow silver, with faint dark purple streaks. She whimpered a little and bit her lip harder, sinking her teeth deep into the tender flesh. Blood dripped onto her hand. The dark red stood out in prominent contrast to how pale her skin seemed in the silvery moonlight.
Slowly, the wounded skin began to come back together and seal itself. With a temporary seal in place, I started stroking the palm of my hand softly along the length of her back. Soon there was no mark left on her pale olive skin, save for a faint scar. In time, it would be completely invisible
I continued softly stroking her back until her breathing became slow and regular once again, disturbed only by the occasional hiccup. I wondered why this action seemed soothing to me as well as calming her. Easing the deeply-sleeping girl back up beside me, I finally settled into a light sleep myself.