Fan Fiction ❯ Illusia ❯ Kyrrian - A Desperate Man 1 ( Chapter 54 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serenitychan13 
Chapter 1: Awakening And Awareness
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.08.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 165 | Status: Completed
Chapter 1: Awakening And Awareness
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Suspense / Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Action / Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.08.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 165 | Status: Completed
Kyrrian
A Desperate Man 1
When I first woke up, all I was aware of was pain. I wondered why in the world I wasn’t dead. I had lost too much blood for it to make any sense that I should be alive. But the next thing I saw made my heart skip a beat.
Lily was with me. She was taking care of me, healing my wounds. I wanted so badly to reach up and touch her pretty face. But when I tried, I found that I was too weak to move my hand more than a few inches. She took my hand and brought it to her face. And Illusia’s face suddenly came into focus.
I had only dreamed that my beloved was with me once again.
After the initial shock, I realized three things. One, Illusia had been the one taking care of me, the one who brought me back from the edge of death. Two, I had no idea where I was or what was going on. Three, I was probably about to die.
Terran was standing behind Illusia, glaring daggers at me. He had sworn that if I hurt Illusia ever again, he would kill me. And I agreed. It looked like he was serious about keeping his word. I prayed that somehow Illusia could pull me back from death again.
I don’t know how, but I think I got the miracle I needed. Illusia had turned to Terran and told him not to hurt me. Though I was still in pain, almost blinded by it, I still had enough strength to smile at my little sister. I was amazed that she hadn’t finished me off herself when she first saw me. I mean, I had hurt her so many times. Why would she care for something like me?
I was pulled from my thoughts (my mind seemed to be the only thing on me that wasn’t half dead) when I heard Illusia’s soft voice.
“Sawyer? Hang on for me!” she begged softly. “Don’t die… Please…”
I could barely speak, but I at least managed to answer her.
“I’ll live… I think…”
I saw her expression become more worried than I had ever seen.
“What do you mean you think?”
I smiled at her again, trying to ease her worry.
“Takes more than that to get rid of me…”
She smiled back at me. I thought back to that miserable night in that freezing cave, the night we first met. She had been so scared at first. But when I made it clear that I wouldn’t hurt her, she smiled at me, accepting me warmly as a friend. That night, I had wondered what made her lose her fear so easily. As I lay there, bruised and covered in my own blood, I realized why.
She was one of those rare individuals with a truly loving heart. Somehow, she was able to sense that I had been through a lot and needed someone to care for me. I had been so alone for so long. Although I thought about Lily every day, dreamed about her every night, I had forgotten how to love. All I could think about was my grief. I wasn’t about to give up on bringing Lily back, but I couldn’t do it at Illusia’s expense.
It should have sunk in a long time ago, but for the first time I realized that it wasn’t just wishful thinking when I called her my little sister. She really was like my family, caring for me no matter how I hurt her. Now it was time for me to give something back to her.
“Illusia… I have something of yours…”
I slipped my hand into one of the pockets in my coat and came up with a small, oddly-shaped ruby. Gently, I placed it in her hand and curled her fingers around it, trying to smile at her. When her hand closed around the jewel, her eyes widened and filled with tears.
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be,” she said softly.
I was shocked. She was obviously upset, so why was she telling me not to apologize?
“Illusia, what are you saying?” asked Terran, his tone between incredulity and disgust.
She looked up at him sadly and shook her head, turning back to me as a tear escaped from her eye.
“I think there must have been a legitimate reason that you needed this if you were willing to betray me for it,” she said quietly, her tone not accusing.
However, her words and tone said nothing to excuse my actions, either…
“Why?” she asked, looking like she was ready to cry.
I couldn’t meet her eyes. I knew I should explain myself, but would she believe the truth even if she heard it? More importantly, if I was going to look at my safety as an issue, would Terran? Sighing in defeat, I slowly raised my gaze to hers.
“Illusia, I do have a reason, but I’m just not sure you would believe me…”
Terran snarled at me, obviously thinking that nothing I said could be considered the truth.
“It’s a long story…”
“Well go ahead with it,” growled Terran. “This should be interesting.”
I tried to glare at him but I found I couldn’t when Illusia brushed my blood-soaked bangs off my forehead.
“I needed the power of the Planet Heart to bring my love back to me,” I finally said, not sure how to word it any other way. “I was desperate…”
Illusia gently touched my hand, tracing the scar on my palm. She had kept me from killing myself. I never understood why. I was surprised to see her smiling a little, though there were tears in her eyes.
“If you needed it, all you needed to do was ask,” she said softly. “I would be glad to help you…”
My hand tightened reflexively around hers. I heard Terran growl again and quickly let go. Could he still not see that I wasn’t going to hurt her again? Even if I had been in any condition to, I never would have.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew why she was gone…”
Illusia said nothing, but her face was full of concern, though it would have taken a complete idiot not to see the fear beneath it. I winced as I tilted my head at her and managed to disturb the slash wounds on the side of my throat. The fear in Illusia’s face disappeared, replaced by total concern.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” she started off carefully. “What did happen?”
I turned a pleading gaze on her, dark eyes boring into light.
“Please… I’d rather not talk about it now…”
She nodded, her face still concerned. What worried me was the hint of suspicion obvious in her bright eyes. But I wasn’t surprised. She had every reason not to trust me in the slightest.
“Sure…” said Terran, sarcasm obvious in his voice. “ You say that because you need time to come up with some kind of story. Well there’s no way I’ll believe you. The only reason I haven’t killed you is because Illusia made me promise not to hurt you.”
I swallowed hard, but didn’t let him see it. Even I wasn’t stupid enough to make a challenging remark to something like that. I was just trying to find enough strength to live through the next few hours. But still, part of me did want to tell them, though I knew they could never believe me.
“I’m not going to press it right now,” said Illusia, her voice low. “But I do need to know the truth.”
My chest shuddered as I drew in a deep breath. I had to find some way to tell her the truth without making her hate me. If I screwed this up, I knew full well that promise or not, Terran would kill me.
Night was falling fast. I had no idea how long I had lain in the snow, but it was a sure thing I wouldn’t live through the night if I stayed. Did I have enough strength to get up? I at least had to try. Slowly, painfully I tried to sit up. Suddenly my stomach felt like it was on fire. My chest didn’t feel too good either. After a few more tries, I gave up and fell back on the blood-stained snow.
“Here, let me help,” Illusia said softly, taking my hand.
It didn’t hurt as much to move as she helped me shift into a sitting position. It was harder trying to stand. Illusia couldn’t pull me up on her own and sure as hell Terran was going to be no help at all. Another young man, whom I had barely noticed earlier, stepped forward to try and help. He bent down beside me and carefully pulled my arm over his shoulder, helping me stand.
“You’ll be alright,” whispered Illusia. “I promise.”
It was rather painful to turn my head, but I managed to smile tiredly at her.
Terran turned and left, heading down a blackened path. Illusia smoothed my hair gently and took off after him, looking worried. I turned to the young man who was helping me, trying to see if I recognized him from anywhere. He must have noticed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met you before,” he said tonelessly, determinedly concentrating on the ground in front of him. “I’m Koura. Terran’s brother.”
'Oh great…'
“Call me Sawyer.”
I couldn’t hear what Illusia and Terran were saying, but it was fairly obvious that Terran wasn’t exactly thrilled that I was with them. Without a doubt, if Illusia wasn’t there, he would have killed me in seconds. My heart nearly stopped as I once again remembered something from when I first met him.
“If any harm comes to her, I swear to you, you may kill me without regret.”
I swallowed hard. It was only a matter of time before he got his chance. That wasn’t the kind of thing he would forget easily. And I knew I deserved death. I killed the one I loved and I had hurt Illusia too many times already. If he decided to take me at my word, he would have every right to end my life.
'At least I’ll see Lily again…'
But Illusia had his promise that he would leave me alone. There was no way he would break a promise to her. Would he? If he had half a chance, if he thought he could do it, he most likely would.
“You alright?” asked Koura. “Your face is white.”
“I’ll be alright.”
“Just making sure,” he said.
A Desperate Man 1
When I first woke up, all I was aware of was pain. I wondered why in the world I wasn’t dead. I had lost too much blood for it to make any sense that I should be alive. But the next thing I saw made my heart skip a beat.
Lily was with me. She was taking care of me, healing my wounds. I wanted so badly to reach up and touch her pretty face. But when I tried, I found that I was too weak to move my hand more than a few inches. She took my hand and brought it to her face. And Illusia’s face suddenly came into focus.
I had only dreamed that my beloved was with me once again.
After the initial shock, I realized three things. One, Illusia had been the one taking care of me, the one who brought me back from the edge of death. Two, I had no idea where I was or what was going on. Three, I was probably about to die.
Terran was standing behind Illusia, glaring daggers at me. He had sworn that if I hurt Illusia ever again, he would kill me. And I agreed. It looked like he was serious about keeping his word. I prayed that somehow Illusia could pull me back from death again.
I don’t know how, but I think I got the miracle I needed. Illusia had turned to Terran and told him not to hurt me. Though I was still in pain, almost blinded by it, I still had enough strength to smile at my little sister. I was amazed that she hadn’t finished me off herself when she first saw me. I mean, I had hurt her so many times. Why would she care for something like me?
I was pulled from my thoughts (my mind seemed to be the only thing on me that wasn’t half dead) when I heard Illusia’s soft voice.
“Sawyer? Hang on for me!” she begged softly. “Don’t die… Please…”
I could barely speak, but I at least managed to answer her.
“I’ll live… I think…”
I saw her expression become more worried than I had ever seen.
“What do you mean you think?”
I smiled at her again, trying to ease her worry.
“Takes more than that to get rid of me…”
She smiled back at me. I thought back to that miserable night in that freezing cave, the night we first met. She had been so scared at first. But when I made it clear that I wouldn’t hurt her, she smiled at me, accepting me warmly as a friend. That night, I had wondered what made her lose her fear so easily. As I lay there, bruised and covered in my own blood, I realized why.
She was one of those rare individuals with a truly loving heart. Somehow, she was able to sense that I had been through a lot and needed someone to care for me. I had been so alone for so long. Although I thought about Lily every day, dreamed about her every night, I had forgotten how to love. All I could think about was my grief. I wasn’t about to give up on bringing Lily back, but I couldn’t do it at Illusia’s expense.
It should have sunk in a long time ago, but for the first time I realized that it wasn’t just wishful thinking when I called her my little sister. She really was like my family, caring for me no matter how I hurt her. Now it was time for me to give something back to her.
“Illusia… I have something of yours…”
I slipped my hand into one of the pockets in my coat and came up with a small, oddly-shaped ruby. Gently, I placed it in her hand and curled her fingers around it, trying to smile at her. When her hand closed around the jewel, her eyes widened and filled with tears.
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be,” she said softly.
I was shocked. She was obviously upset, so why was she telling me not to apologize?
“Illusia, what are you saying?” asked Terran, his tone between incredulity and disgust.
She looked up at him sadly and shook her head, turning back to me as a tear escaped from her eye.
“I think there must have been a legitimate reason that you needed this if you were willing to betray me for it,” she said quietly, her tone not accusing.
However, her words and tone said nothing to excuse my actions, either…
“Why?” she asked, looking like she was ready to cry.
I couldn’t meet her eyes. I knew I should explain myself, but would she believe the truth even if she heard it? More importantly, if I was going to look at my safety as an issue, would Terran? Sighing in defeat, I slowly raised my gaze to hers.
“Illusia, I do have a reason, but I’m just not sure you would believe me…”
Terran snarled at me, obviously thinking that nothing I said could be considered the truth.
“It’s a long story…”
“Well go ahead with it,” growled Terran. “This should be interesting.”
I tried to glare at him but I found I couldn’t when Illusia brushed my blood-soaked bangs off my forehead.
“I needed the power of the Planet Heart to bring my love back to me,” I finally said, not sure how to word it any other way. “I was desperate…”
Illusia gently touched my hand, tracing the scar on my palm. She had kept me from killing myself. I never understood why. I was surprised to see her smiling a little, though there were tears in her eyes.
“If you needed it, all you needed to do was ask,” she said softly. “I would be glad to help you…”
My hand tightened reflexively around hers. I heard Terran growl again and quickly let go. Could he still not see that I wasn’t going to hurt her again? Even if I had been in any condition to, I never would have.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew why she was gone…”
Illusia said nothing, but her face was full of concern, though it would have taken a complete idiot not to see the fear beneath it. I winced as I tilted my head at her and managed to disturb the slash wounds on the side of my throat. The fear in Illusia’s face disappeared, replaced by total concern.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” she started off carefully. “What did happen?”
I turned a pleading gaze on her, dark eyes boring into light.
“Please… I’d rather not talk about it now…”
She nodded, her face still concerned. What worried me was the hint of suspicion obvious in her bright eyes. But I wasn’t surprised. She had every reason not to trust me in the slightest.
“Sure…” said Terran, sarcasm obvious in his voice. “ You say that because you need time to come up with some kind of story. Well there’s no way I’ll believe you. The only reason I haven’t killed you is because Illusia made me promise not to hurt you.”
I swallowed hard, but didn’t let him see it. Even I wasn’t stupid enough to make a challenging remark to something like that. I was just trying to find enough strength to live through the next few hours. But still, part of me did want to tell them, though I knew they could never believe me.
“I’m not going to press it right now,” said Illusia, her voice low. “But I do need to know the truth.”
My chest shuddered as I drew in a deep breath. I had to find some way to tell her the truth without making her hate me. If I screwed this up, I knew full well that promise or not, Terran would kill me.
Night was falling fast. I had no idea how long I had lain in the snow, but it was a sure thing I wouldn’t live through the night if I stayed. Did I have enough strength to get up? I at least had to try. Slowly, painfully I tried to sit up. Suddenly my stomach felt like it was on fire. My chest didn’t feel too good either. After a few more tries, I gave up and fell back on the blood-stained snow.
“Here, let me help,” Illusia said softly, taking my hand.
It didn’t hurt as much to move as she helped me shift into a sitting position. It was harder trying to stand. Illusia couldn’t pull me up on her own and sure as hell Terran was going to be no help at all. Another young man, whom I had barely noticed earlier, stepped forward to try and help. He bent down beside me and carefully pulled my arm over his shoulder, helping me stand.
“You’ll be alright,” whispered Illusia. “I promise.”
It was rather painful to turn my head, but I managed to smile tiredly at her.
Terran turned and left, heading down a blackened path. Illusia smoothed my hair gently and took off after him, looking worried. I turned to the young man who was helping me, trying to see if I recognized him from anywhere. He must have noticed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met you before,” he said tonelessly, determinedly concentrating on the ground in front of him. “I’m Koura. Terran’s brother.”
'Oh great…'
“Call me Sawyer.”
I couldn’t hear what Illusia and Terran were saying, but it was fairly obvious that Terran wasn’t exactly thrilled that I was with them. Without a doubt, if Illusia wasn’t there, he would have killed me in seconds. My heart nearly stopped as I once again remembered something from when I first met him.
“If any harm comes to her, I swear to you, you may kill me without regret.”
I swallowed hard. It was only a matter of time before he got his chance. That wasn’t the kind of thing he would forget easily. And I knew I deserved death. I killed the one I loved and I had hurt Illusia too many times already. If he decided to take me at my word, he would have every right to end my life.
'At least I’ll see Lily again…'
But Illusia had his promise that he would leave me alone. There was no way he would break a promise to her. Would he? If he had half a chance, if he thought he could do it, he most likely would.
“You alright?” asked Koura. “Your face is white.”
“I’ll be alright.”
“Just making sure,” he said.