Fan Fiction ❯ Inside the Silence ❯ Shattered Titans: Such is life ( Chapter 9 )

Note to Disclaimers: I do not and never will own Teen Titans because things would be damn different if I did. Anyway…this is for entertainment purposes only since I have no money to give any of you if you decide to sue me. I'm a struggling college student, for real. I might have some spare pennies, but I sure as hell can't imagine why you'd want that when you can find it on the street corner.

A/N: Pairings are as follows, as of the present—Terra/Beast Boy/Raven (Terra will be here for—and I'm estimating—another two or three chapters, and no, I'm not bashing her, ok? So don't ask me to!) Robin/Starfire/Speedy or Aqualad (MAYBE, a very low possibility of MAYBE, in future chapters!). Or, it is possible that when I finish this, perhaps, in the sequel, Aqualad might try going after Raven? Or maybe I'll bring Malchior/Rorek into this…but who knows? I have to finish this one first! Okie, on with the pairings, which are also Jinx/Cyborg/Bumblebee (because he needs someone, and I've wanted to write them in for a while now.) So, if you aren't open to those pairings, then I warn y'all, Do NOT read this fic. So…that's it for now, and no, there is no new enemy entering the picture, because I just decided what I was working with was good already! Whoa…I'm out for now. Enjoy the fanfic.

Word Coding is as follows:

`Thoughts'

“Speaking”

Everything else

Inside the Silence (Chapter 9)

Drained. Empty. Lifeless. Purgatory, in a sense.

 

He felt as though he had been drained of all desire and want. She had left his life with such a little goodbye, such an impersonal goodbye at that. He felt as though she'd just abandoned him, as though she didn't want him anymore. A horrible feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he sank deeper within the confining leather of the chair he'd been occupying for hours on end. She'd been gone for almost a week now, her room quiet, clean and beginning to collect little bits of dust without her there to clean it. He didn't know why she'd left—at first. But as soon as she'd disappeared beyond the horizon, he'd gone on a mad hunt to see why she'd just up and left. And there it was, the evidence of why she'd left so suddenly, lying atop her dresser. The slippery surface of the paper fluttered as he swept past it, almost causing him to miss it in his flurry to discover why she'd gone. But when he'd seen the letter, all his disappointment in her fled, and his courage in her returned—but his missing her did not leave so soon. `How did Blackfire get out?' He didn't understand how the Tamaranian female escaped again, and managed to take over Tamaran—again. `Well…it is Blackfire and she did escape once before.'

 

Outside of his room the other Titans were going about their own business as though nothing had changed in the Tower. Although he had been immersed in finding ways to bring Starfire back, he was not completely oblivious to some of the changes that had taken place within Titan Tower. He had noticed that Terra and Beast Boy had been acting particularly close, and that Raven had become even more antisocial than usual. Cyborg and Bumblebee had been spending more and more time together, and he wasn't sure if it had anything to with their working as a partners. Crime was still low key; it was hard to tell whether there actually were villains around or not. Life had been amazingly quiet—too quiet—and the Boy Wonder was anticipating an attack in the near future, one that would be bigger than any battle they'd ever faced. `And she isn't here with us to fight.' He looked towards the window, memorizing the placed he'd last seen her. `She she isn't here to give me the courage to fight. She isn't here for me to protect.' He sighed. `I should've told her but now…it's might be too late…' Robin turned just as his communicator began beeping wildly. `Everything is going to be fine.' His face scrunched into a worried one now that no one could see him. 'But If I...and there is an unexpected battle of such a magnitude...' His thoughts were interrupted as the communicator's beeping became more insistent. With a sigh, he gave it his attention by picking it up and flipping it open.

“Nightwing, here,” He replied quietly.

 

Cyborg's face popped up immediately. “Rob, we got a situation. Seems H.I.V.E. agents have infiltrated our local bank safe…again. BB and Rae are down there right now, Terra too. Bee and I are headin over. We need ya there. See ya.”

 

`I know you need me there…and being your leader is a great fulfillment…' Robin let out another sigh as he grabbed his weapons and headed towards the garage where they kept the T-SUB and his R-cycle, which no longer sported his trademark R. Instead it had been repainted a brilliant blue with black streaks, ridding itself of the past teenage Robin. He stuck the key in the ignition of his R-cycle before hopping on, ready to head downtown and help his fellow Titans. `Then…why do I feel so empty?'

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Cyborg dodged another of Gizmo's attacks as Beast Boy and Terra took out Mammoth. Raven and Bumblebee were busy fighting off two new members of the past trio. Cyborg stopped his attacks on Gizmo, thanks to Raven encasing him in a black bubble. His thoughts wandered to the missing member of the trio. `Where's the third party?' The pink-eyed, fuchsia-haired young woman was nowhere in sight. Jinx was indeed missing from the usual band of bandits, which amazed Cyborg. `But where did she go? When did she leave?' He was broken from his thought by Bumblebee's shout. “Yeah? What up Bee?”

 

“They're done. It's questionin time,” she replied. “And I got questions.” She grabbed Gizmo. “Where's your homegirl at? Where's Jinx?”

 

Gizmo snorted at her. “Snot girl quit the team years ago!”

 

Mammoth groaned sadly. “Jinx left Mammoth and Gizmo.”

 

“Why?” Cyborg asked, curious.

 

One of the new team members spoke up, her voice soft and velvety as she lifted her head to face them. “Miss Jinx decided that she no longer liked the life of crime. She left H.I.V.E. about a year after Brother Blood fell into hiding, again.”

 

“And just who are you two?” Cyborg inquired, curious.

 

“I am Shockwave and this is Screamer, and though our identities are not important, I am sure you will learn of them once we have been taken to jail,” the young woman replied, her head held low. Gizmo glared at her from the corner of Cyborg's eye, but the other girl did not seem to care much. “I am afraid we joined this trio because of Miss Jinx's absence and decision to quit. She said, if I recall Gizmo telling me correctly, that she no longer had a need to do such things, she wasn't mind controlled anymore.”

 

“Neither are you,” Bumblebee interjected. “So why do you still do it?”

 

“Well, we have to do something. If we aren't criminals, who and what are we?” The young villain answered, her fingers curling around her cape. “We know no other life. I, at least, know no other life. How can I…what else can I do?”

 

“Jinx knew no other life, and yet she managed to do something else,” Terra answered.

 

Gizmo looked away, crossing his arms in defiance. “No one really knows what she's been up to these past years. She could still be a criminal. No one knows.”

 

Cyborg shook his head. “We have to take you guys in, no matter what. Maybe there…you'll learn to do something other than the life of crime. If Jinx can do it, then I'm sure y'all can too.”

 

Gizmo and Mammoth, used to the routine of getting caught, said nothing. But the other two new members tried to break free again, determined to continue their life of crime. Right then, Robin arrived on his R-cycle, eyes narrowed as he eyed the suspects. “Are these them?”

 

Cyborg nodded. “This is them, but we got some new additions, it seems.”

 

“Two of these members don't look familiar. Where's the third one?” Robin pointed to the four members, two he recognized.

 

“Jinx quit, years ago, apparently,” Beast Boy interjected.

 

“Should we put out a search for her?” Raven suggested, finally emerging from her quiet state.

 

“Yeah, do that, please, Raven—right away,” Robin said, his lips in a scowl. “As for you,” he pointed a gloved finger at the rest of the H.I.V.E. agents. “You know where you're going. Take them away.”

 

Cyborg didn't move as Terra and Beast Boy hauled the villains in the direction of the police station. Bumblebee placed a comforting hand on Cyborg's arm as Robin busied himself with procedural things. The half human sighed at her gesture, content to thank her by offering her a mild smile. Bumblebee returned his smile as she turned her gaze towards Robin, waiting for orders. In response, Robin nodded for them to return home and help Raven. He needed time to think, by himself. If other people were around, he felt like they would hear his thoughts or read them; then he would feel guiltier than before. After he discovered that his other teammates had disappeared, Robin leaned tiredly against his R-Cycle, his heart heavy as he relived the events of the past week.

 

Robin was sitting at his computer console, depressed and lonely as he gazed out the window. `Star…are you ever going to return?' He sighed as he fingered his communicator, eyes dull. He was about to throw it at the wall when the console beeped. He paused, eyeing it with little interest before warily pressing the “accept” button. “Nightwing here.”

 

“Dick, it's been a long time,” A voice said.

 

Robin sank deeper in his chair. “What can I do for you?”

 

“Can't a friend call to say hello?”

 

“Diana, tell Bruce to cut the crap. The Justice League does not call the Titans unless they need something,” Robin replied, scowling as he did so.

 

Wonder Woman sighed as she allowed Bruce Wayne into the screen view. “Robin, or should I say Nightwing? You know why we've called you. Are you up for it?”

 

Agitated, Robin began rubbing his temples. “No, I don't know exactly why you've contacted me, but I have the feeling I have an idea. I don't know if I'm up for it, so how about you explain it first.”

 

Batman's lips remained in a thin line as he began to explain everything that was needed to know. “It seems like there has been more criminal activity in the last month or so. We've been overrun by complaints about local robberies and such. The chaos is spreading throughout the major cities, and if Jump City hasn't been hit yet, it will. In the meantime, we've had no leads on who could be behind all the gangs in the city. But somehow I think you might know who it is.” Batman paused. Robin awaited further explanation. Batman made a face. “What?”

 

The younger masked warrior smirked. “What's the matter Bruce? Can't say…you need some help?”

 

Batman made another face before turning away, annoyed. Seeing this, Diana pushed him out of the way. “Bruce, stop acting like a child. Yes Dick, we need your help, so please come down if you can, all right?”

 

Had it been any other time, he might have laughed at his old mentor's display of pride; but he was in no laughing mood, and the events he had just been informed of were no laughing matter. Robin looked around, his eyes landing on the purely white wedding gown that Starfire had left behind. `Without you here…I have nothing.' With a final defeated sigh, he nodded. “I'll be there in three days. I have some things to take care of here first.”

 

The transmission ended quickly.

 

He stared at his R-Cycle, not sure what to do as he climbed atop it. `To the left is the way to the Justice League…and to the right…Titan Tower and no Starfire…' Shaking his head, Robin put his foot to the gas pedal. He gave Jump City one last glance, his eyes taking everything in, trying to memorize everything he loved about his city. `Guess this is goodbye guys…' Bringing his eyes back to the road, he pressed hard on the pedal, leaving nothing but a trail smoke as his R-Cycle disappeared through the main road of Jump City.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Starfire let out an angry shout, one of her many, as Blackfire slammed her into another wall. More than half the walls around them had been reduced to dust, she realized, as she looked around the palace. Her people were cowering in fear around her as they continued their battle. It had been almost a week since she'd left Titan Tower, and only a day since she began to fight for the rights to save Tamaran. Blackfire's strength had increased since she'd last fought with her sister, but Starfire was determined to make sure that Blackfire never returned to Tamaran. Starfire had arrived a day prior to their battle, meaning she hadn't shown up for quite some time. Of course, she was surprised to see that her beautiful planet had yet to be destroyed, which was contrary to what Blackfire had stated in her letter; but she was only too disappointed to discover that Blackfire had been slowly eliminating their people as well as slowly wreaking havoc over their living spaces. `I should have come sooner…' It was a wonder the castle had still been intact when she arrived, she'd noted. The young orange haired female heaved another breath as she blocked a barrage of blows from her sister, successfully managing to throw a returning punch into Blackfire's unsuspecting face. Blackfire was fuming as she shot a succession of her light purple fire bolts at her little sister, a scowl gracing her lips.

 

“Little sister, since when have you known combat?”

 

Starfire smirked as she chased her older sibling around the crumbling palace fixtures, shooting her green starbolts randomly through the air. “I am glad to say that after your many exploits of my weaknesses, I grew tired of it. I simply asked my friend Robin to train me.” She laughed girlishly for a moment, grinning in slight triumph. “It seems he did well, sister.”

 

“I never said this was over yet!” Blackfire screamed as she flew straight at Starfire, knocking them both into the last remaining wall of their family's palace. “You're going to pay for all the things you've put me through, you brat!”

 

Starfire released a shriek as Blackfire swiftly kicked her in the stomach and brought her fist at the younger woman's face. A sickening crunch echoed around the halls as Blackfire's fist found its target, causing blood to spill from Starfire's jaw as she was thrown backwards. Starfire coughed up more blood as she cradled her aching stomach, her free hand full of the red liquid as she wiped at her mouth. The pain was minimal, though in appearance it might have seemed otherwise; but she was Tamaranian—the majority of Blackfire's attacks were mere scratches to her. Raising herself to her feet, Starfire's eyes began to glow a brilliant green as she let out a terrible war cry before charging at her older sister, starbolts flying from her hands. Blackfire let out a surprised growl as Starfire grabbed her shoulders, quickly bringing her knee into Blackfire's abdomen as her other hand circled her sister's neck. Starfire smirked again, this time without a trace of humor as she tightened her grip around the other girl's soft flesh. “I believe, on earth, this is called cruel irony, my sister.”

 

Blackfire struggled against her sister's surprisingly strong grip, angered that Starfire had somehow bested her yet again, and in front of the entirety of Tamaran. “You…little…brat! You won't win!”

 

“It seems as though I already have,” Starfire replied airily. “But I am not quite as mean as you; therefore, I will give you an ultimatum.” Blackfire looked positively murderous; Starfire only continued on. “Either you leave Tamaran, never to return, or I destroy you, once and for all.”

 

“You don't have the guts,” Blackfire shot back.

 

Starfire's eyes narrowed dangerously. “Perhaps in the past, I may not have been this way. But you have threatened Tamaran too many times, and if disposing of you, permanently, is the only way to keep our home planet safe from your evil clutches…then so be it.” Starfire glared at her, no remorse showing through as she stared at the other woman. “I am tired of you hurting my friends. It ends today, as you have said in your letter. Decide, sister.”

 

For once, Starfire saw the fear run through her older sister's eyes as she brought her glowing hand to Blackfire's face. The dark-haired tamaranian female let out a strangled squeak as she shook her head. “Fine, it's over. You win. I will never return to Tamaran.”

 

Starfire's smirk turned into a relieved smile as she released her sister, turning to leave. “I am glad that you have agreed to do so.” She began walking away, almost halfway towards her old knorfka when she heard Blackfire scream again.

 

“I would never surrender to you sister! You are going to pay, and you are going to pay with your life!” She let out an animal like shriek as she rushed at Starfire, intent to kill her.

 

As for herself, Starfire screamed, bringing her fist up just as Blackfire slammed into her. The charged bolt in Starfire's hand flew, bursting in a sparkling emerald light as well as going straight through Blackfire's stomach as the two females fell to the ground, Blackfire atop Starfire. As if only just realizing what she'd done, Starfire shot up from underneath her sister's fallen body; she held it to her in her arms as she observed the blood pooling beneath them—Blackfire's blood. The older tamaranian female coughed violently as she heaved in large, deep breaths, which caused blood to spill from her now paling orange lips onto Starfire's purple clothing. Starfire's eyes watered as she held her dying sister within her arms, burying her face in Blackfire's black hair, tears eventually beginning to spill. “Sister, no, you cannot die…I am sorry. I am sorry! I didn't have the guts…I didn't!”

 

The irony of the situation made Blackfire let out a small chuckle, though not spiteful or humorous—just plainly hollow. `It seems you did, sister,' she thought as she listened to the sobs of her younger sister. With a sigh, Blackfire's mouth moved slowly as she whispered her last words. “May tragedies befall you, sister.”

 

Her hands, stained with Blackfire's blood, came up to tangle themselves in Blackfire's beautiful ebony mane as Starfire hugged her tighter than before. She could feel her sister's blood seeping into her clothing, staining her supposedly once “innocent” hands as her tears came out like a river. With the whole tamaranian race surrounding her, as well as staring at her in terror, she could only shudder. `I have never…done something so…horrible…' She could feel her sister becoming lighter, Blackfire's breathing labored as she began practically gasping for air to sustain her collapsing lungs. The green eyed tamaranian shook, her body quivering with the reality of what she'd done, her hands shaking as she held on to the last remnants of her sister. However, moments later, Starfire could only sob harder as Blackfire's body went completely limp in her arms, the older girl's words ringing in her ear; Starfire could only cry more. `It already has sister…it already has.'

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Meanwhile, Raven was busying herself by putting out the search call for Jinx, not even suspicious as to why their leader hadn't done it himself. She went about her task as though she was a robot, not really questioning anything about the task itself or why no one else had yet to arrive at the Tower. Her mind was occupied, drifting in a far away land as she went through routine protocols and such. Once finished, she retired to her room, annoyed and troubled as she waited for someone to come back. Raven let out a long sigh as she slumped against her bed headboard, her mind tired with the dull throbbing of a headache. It'd been a couple of hours since she'd come home and put out the search for Jinx. However, neither Cyborg nor Bumblebee had returned. Robin was missing, too. She'd felt around for beast Boy's aura; all she received was disappointment when she could sense no one's aura. 'I suppose I'm alone then,' she mused. Without the game station running, Cyborg and Beast Boy's constant arguments or Robin's incessant obsessive speeches over Slade, the tower seemed chilly and deathly silent. She could feel the stillness in the air, radiating throughout the cool titanium walls of Titan Tower; it was irking. The sky outside was dark, clouds hanging ominously and menacingly; the air was foggy. 'It is...going to rain?' Her thoughts were answered as the sky thundered and came alight with lightening, momentarily blinding her as she pulled the hood of her cloak back on. Suddenly, she became rather suspicious about why no one had returned, Robin most of all. 'Something isn't right...they should've been here by now.' When she entered the living room she wasn't surprised to find it empty. However, the monitor beeping before her was quite unexpected. Throwing the flashing red button a cautious glance, she slowly reached forward, pressing the button. Immediately she leapt backwards as Robin's face filled the screen. "Robin?"

 

"Nightwing, here. By now, you're probably wondering why I haven't returned to the Titan's Tower, aren't you, Raven?"

 

She gasped.

 

"I know you're the only one there. You're the only one I trust with this information. So now, I'll tell you why I'm gone." His face changed. "I got a call from Batman and the Justice League a few days ago; and I've left. I can't state any valid reasons as to why I've gone, other than a favor to an old friend. But I trust you'll help Cyborg keep the team in check, Raven. I don't know when I'll return. Don't try to contact me. Nightwing, over and out."

 

Raven felt her hands clench into fists. `First Starfire, now Robin...who is next?' Her mind drew a blank as she heard the doors to the tower hiss open, and then shut. `Who in the world...?' Her question was answered as she heard the girlish laughter fill the air, soon followed by the all too familiar string of lame jokes. 'Beast Boy...and Terra.' She quickly concealed herself in the shadows as the two plopped down on to the half circle couch, exhausted, it seemed. For quite some moments they simply laid there, appearing as though resting. Raven began to sidle away slowly, almost to the end of the hallway until Terra shot up from her seat. Raven froze.

 

"Does it feel like...we're being watched?" Terra asked her green-skinned friend as she glanced around the supposedly empty room. Beast Boy shrugged, nonchalant as he continued relaxing. "Oh...well...I guess..."

 

As soon as the young earthmover had disappeared into her previous position on the couch, Raven fled into her own room. Once again inside her sanctuary, Raven leaned against her dresser, eyeing her mirror warily. 'Maybe it's time for another meeting,' she thought as she stared at it. The temptation of entering the mystical mirror was great but she knew it was dangerous, at the moment. Resisting the urge, she placed it in her drawer, instead opting to occupy her time and mind with the book of Azar. Even as she held it, her fingers shook, nervousness creeping into her skin. She felt as though she'd spontaneously combust at any second. Shaking her head, she brought her attention back to the book, intent to focus on something other than the rapid beating of her heart. 'Focus Raven, focus!' When no peace came to her, she threw the book on the floor while her hands shot up in defeat. `Whatever…I need some tea,' she thought mildly as she walked back towards the living room area of the tower, hoping that Beast Boy and Terra had gone somewhere other than the room. When she peeked into the open area she was relieved to see that no one remained in the room. With a small sigh of relief she made her way towards the kitchen, placing the tea kettle on the stove. She went about her activities as slowly as possible so as to calm her aching yet thundering nerves. She was halfway through her normal process when she heard the main door open, for the second time, as both Bumblebee and Cyborg entered, each quiet and neither saying anything to her. Raven nodded her acknowledgment before she disappeared through the hallway door, leaving each of the other two titans to themselves.

 

Bumblebee felt the eerie, awkward silence settle over them as Cyborg wordlessly took a seat on the couch. The young woman ventured to ask a question. “Sparky…how you holdin up?”

 

He shook his head, ignoring her pet name for him. “I just…I don't understand…has it all changed, this much? Bee…what's happenin?”

 

Immediately she knelt down next to him, taking as much of him into her arms as she could manage. “I don't know Cy, I just don't know.”

 

He felt stiff in her arms, the cool metal of his cybernetic parts running smoothly against her chocolate colored skin. Bumblebee let a small smile grace her lips as she continued to hold him to her, content in the fact that he let anyone else get so close to him. She knew he'd been close to Jinx during their academy days, and she knew he probably hadn't gotten over the recent news of the other girl's disappearance. `But what HAS become of Jinx?' Even she was a little curious as to the sudden disappearance of the young villain. `If she left a year after Blood fell into hidin…she could be anywhere by now, and doin anythin.' She suddenly felt rather fatigued as they sat there, Cyborg still seemingly happy in being quiet, and she glad to at least help her distraught friend. And yet some part of her was upset that he hadn't reacted nearly as much as to when she appeared. `All he did was get angry for the first part of my arrival.' She shook her head, which was resting by his midsection since she had knelt down to hug him. Her wings buzzed lightly as she felt sleep slowly over coming her tired figure. Before she could attempt to wake up, Cyborg's arms had scooped her up. She looked up in surprise.

 

“Sparky…” She let out a small yawn.

 

“I'm takin you to bed,” he replied softly as he walked through the hallway door towards her room. Once there he noticed the lights were off. He tentatively pushed it open to see if Terra was inside; she was not. He nodded for Bumblebee to climb into her bed at the top bunk, but she only yawned in response, opening her eyes for a bleary moment. He chuckled as he realized he'd have to do all the work. With a small smile he placed her in Terra's bed instead, sure that the other girl would understand. He tucked her under the covers before turning to leave, mumbling a soft goodnight before he made it to the door. She rolled over, murmuring something incoherent in his direction, causing him to turn back to her. “What was that Bee?”

 

She shifted underneath the blankets, too tired to roll over again. “Hm…thanks,” she answered sleepily as she snuggled deeper under the covers.

 

Cyborg stared at her affectionately, though he knew she could not see. “Sure Bee, anything for you,” he responded softly to himself as he closed the door. Outside of it, he leaned against the wall. `I'm so confused man…' In truth, he was recalling all his past adventures, the past young women he'd fallen for as well. `First Jinx…then Sarasim, now you, Bee…and I just don't know how to feel.' His mind had been somewhat of a jumble since Terra's return, even a little bit before that occurrence. But with Bumblebee's arrival, he found old feelings resurfacing, as well as many memories he was trying to forget. He sighed as he made the slow trek back to his lonely room, his head full of what had happened in the past. He remembered everything from the day he was called to spy for the Titans in H.I.V.E. academy to the days where the Titans East needed his help. `The day…the day Blood took over Bee…the day he used my friend against me!' His mind was in an uproar at the memory of Bumblebee, recalling how she'd finally been brainwashed—he heard her famous words, and he chuckled humorlessly. `I guess he managed to get you, didn't he Bee?' Blood had tricked him, making him think he meant a lot to the titans—not that he didn't, he knew—but in such a small amount of time.

 

They asked him to be their leader, even after the incident. `But it wasn't where I belonged…and it still ain't…' he shot a quick glance back to the room where his friend slept, peacefully he hoped, in dreams of fancy. However, as he began setting up to sleep, plugging various wires into his inputs for charging, he began to realize that he had not quite escaped whatever it was that had slowly been taking over Titan Tower the past few year. `It's like…it's swallowing us up in here…whatever it is…' His thoughts trailed off as images of Bumblebee filtered through his mind, grabbing his attention. `I'm beginnin to think I'm going crazy…' He knew he'd thought of the young woman as only a friend, at first. But slowly, over time, after taking Blood down at his side—though not for too long—he'd become accustomed to having her at his side. Although he'd taken quite the liking towards Jinx, she had disappeared without so much as a trace, not even one for her villain friends to know of.

 

As for Sarasim, he remembered looking at the picture Raven had shown him, glad that the young barbarian woman had depicted him in such a way. As a warrior, one who always wore armor—always a warrior, no matter what the time. But despite all that, when it all came back to it, Bumblebee remained a constant when the other two females disappeared. Whether Jinx had been a potential lover or simply a teenage crush, he figured he'd never know. As for Sarasim, he realized that even if he had ended up loving her, they could never be together. And then, when he'd returned from everything, there she was, the only constant in his life aside from his team. Sure, perhaps she was far away, to the east of them, but even her little transmission of updates to Robin every now and then had given him a sense of comfort. When he'd seen her face through various transmissions over the years, Cyborg could not help but feel some sense of pride and joy as he watched her lead the team. `Hm...s'all you girl,' he'd always thought while he'd gazed at her chocolate colored face, content to simply see, not be known. But now, as he lay down for the night, he couldn't help but know that it was no longer enough for him, no longer satisfactory inside. `I may be half robot…but I'm also half human…' his own words ringing in his ears made his eye twitch as he turned out the lights. `And I don't know what to feel anymore…' He never knew about the person who had been leaning against the other side of the wall, also in the exact same position.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The air outside was cool, and her skin was not protected by the palace walls any longer. Starfire stood inside the rubble that was once her family's magnificent castle, her body numb as she looked out into the galaxy. To the side was her faithful Knorfka, kneeling as she continued to stand motionlessly as the harsh wind whipped her hair around her tear-stained face. `I have committed the worst atrocity ever,' she thought, her hands hanging limply at her sides as she slowly brought her face to where a body lay upon a large pyre underneath a sheer silken sheet. Underneath the sheet lay a fallen beauty with black hair, pale-orange skin and a crown atop her head. Starfire's eyes began to tear as she walked over to the fallen woman, her hand planting itself atop the other girl's ice-cold one. `Sister…though you have done so many horrible things to me…and to Tamaran…you did not deserve this…especially not from one you called family.' Silent tears trailed down her cheeks as she gazed at her sister's still form, regret beginning to eat away at her as she signaled for the funeral procession to begin. Bringing her gaze back to the view from her palace, she took the crown that had been sitting on her head so that she could see it, holding it tightly between her two shaking hands. With a depressed glare, Starfire destroyed the metal crown between her fingers, twisting it at first before smashing it into miniscule pieces. `I can never be Tamaran's ruler…never.' As she tossed the broken piece of metal to the ground like useless junk, her mind returned to all the things she had left unfinished at home. `Robin…have you…forgotten me? Would you have me…even after all the horrible wrongs I have done here?' She was still gazing out at the bleak sky even until the point when her most trusted servant came to stand next to her. She merely nodded her acknowledgment.

 

“Who will rule Tamran now, Empress Starfire?”

 

“You will, once again, Galfor,” she replied as she followed his gaze towards the discarded crown.

 

“Empress Starfire, do you not think—”

 

“I am afraid that I do not belong on Tamaran,” she said quietly. “My home remains on earth, with my friends and teammates. With Blackfire no longer able to threaten Tamaran, you shall be able to rule peacefully. I am sorry Galfor…but my friends need me…and I am no longer fit to rule Tamaran. After what I have done…I, too, am not best for Tamaran.” She let out a small choked sob as she hugged herself, trying to block out the memories of what she'd committed.

 

“But…you also need your friends, do you not, my bumbgorf?” When she said nothing, Galfor pressed the issue a little more, wrapping her in a comforting hug. “You need him, do you not, my princess?”

 

She looked up at him, tears shining in her emerald eyes as she tried to deny what she knew was true. She opened her mouth to protest but found the situation all to familiar. “I do not…we are only friends…”

 

“Even now, you should not attempt, once again, to fool an old knorfka, princess. I have known you far too long,” he replied as he smoothed her hair in a fatherly fashion. “You must go. We shall rebuild Tamaran. I shall rule as you have stated; but do not forget that this will always be your home, and you are always welcomed back. The events of the past shall not rule our future. Everything will come to pass as it should, in the best way, My princess. Do not worry. X'hal will see us through.”

 

She nodded vigorously as her tears flowed freely from her eyes, her arms hugging Galfor with all their might. “I thank you, friend.” As she turned to look back at the sky, she reached down for whatever was left of her belongings. Not much remained since the palace had been destroyed, and she found herself carrying nothing but a picture frame with a picture of her and her family. `I am glad to have not lost these.' Letting out a relieved sigh, she gave Galfor one last peck on the cheek before flying into the air. Her eyes lingered longingly at Tamaran before she tore her gaze away, never once looking back as she headed towards earth. `May tragedies befall me sister…and I shall never return to Tamaran.'

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Raven had watched enough of the two friends as they comforted each other, somewhat envious as she had stood alone in the darkened shadows of the hallway. Shortly after they'd departed from the couch, she heard Terra and Beast Boy enter through the doors, once again, and walk past the kitchen area towards her. She practically threw herself into the shadows to avoid being seen, content to seethe in the darkness as she watched them come into view, Terra hanging sickly on Beast Boy's arm. Involuntarily, her hands clenched into tightened fists, imagining what she would do to Terra if she could. But nothing happened as she watched the pair continue their walk down the hallway into Beast Boy's room. Before he went in, she saw him pause at his door, his head sweeping back to the direction in which she was supposedly concealed. Raven's breath caught in her throat, her eyes locking with his, though she wasn't sure if he could actually see her. She backed further into shadows as she waited for him to go into the room, which would in turn allow her to return to her domicile unseen. However, when he did not enter, Terra grew curious, and Raven felt her face afire. `Does he suspect me? Please…just go inside…I can't take this right now.' She pleaded for a distraction, anything that would take his gaze away from her cache. She didn't know whether to call it luck or a curse, but right then Terra decided to intervene.

 

“Beast Boy? Is everything all right? I thought you wanted to watch that movie?” She asked him her question, curious as to why they hadn't gone inside yet.

 

He shook his head, as if awakening from a daze. “I…Yeah…we should do that. Sorry to keep you waitin,” He replied as he slowly brought his gaze back to the blonde. She smiled gently, and Beast Boy allowed himself to be pulled into the room.

 

The hissing of shutting door finalized their disappearance and Raven let out a small sigh as she relaxed from her tensed position underneath the protection of her cloak. With them gone, she could finally go inside her room without interrogation or suspicion. Her mouth felt dry as she entered her room, slowly placing her cloak on her dresser. Atop it, she caught sight of her mirror—for the second time—and she shuddered, swearing she had put it away before she'd left her room again. It brought back too many memories of invasion, and Raven looked away. `You saw me…and you still…' she let her thoughts drift off as she recalled her past mistakes. `Rorek…Malchior…that was one of those major ones,' she thought sourly. `And Malchior, he lied…but what of Rorek?' She'd never known the true wizard, the one who defeated Malchior. `He might have been nicer…' She sighed again as she lay down on her bed beneath the sheets, her mind drifting from her mistakes to Beast Boy. She knew he was with Terra, probably eating popcorn and enjoying a movie. But she could care less about the Blonde earthmover. Her thoughts remained only on the green-skinned young man who she had pushed away time and time again. Raven frowned as she grabbed her pillow, hugging it for dear life as she felt a tear slip down her cheek. `Somehow, I don't think he's going to ever come back to me now…not after what I said…'

 

It had been a week since Bumblebee had arrived, since Starfire had left, since Terra had come back and since she and Beast Boy fought. Normally he would apologize and things would go back to the way they were. But this time Raven knew things were not the same, for he had not apologized and they remained only on civil terms. They hadn't actually held a conversation for more than five seconds, and it usually consisted of a simple “hi” or a “we need to report” type response. She felt the familiar ache in her chest pulsing, and squeezed the pillow tighter as she curled into a ball. `I have to fix this…I have to…I don't care about my emotions anymore! They're hurting me!' Giving one final sigh, Raven tossed her pillow to the side, not caring what it knocked over or shattered. She'd made up her mind. Donning her cloak again, she exited her room and went straight to Beast Boy's room, which had been relatively bare since his supposed retirement from the Titans. She knocked once, not too loudly, not too lightly, and waited for someone to grant her permission to enter. When no one answered, she knocked a little louder. And still there was nothing. `Oh Azarath…I'm going in,' she thought, though some part of her felt dreadful of what lie on the other side. Bracing herself she opened the door, prepared to ask Terra to leave in order to speak to Beast Boy alone. “Beast Boy, I need—”

 

However, nothing she could have predicted could have prepared her for what she saw the minute the door slid open. She gasped as her eyes met the sight of Terra atop Beast Boy, his hands on her waist as she straddled him. They were kissing one another—enthusiastically it seemed—as Terra's fingers roamed through his hair and ran the length of his neck and chest. Luckily both were fully clothed, but Raven was horrified nonetheless. She cringed as they broke apart, gasping for air and fumbling for explanations. Terra looked flushed all over as she backed away, not able to face Raven for some odd reason. Beast Boy ran a hand through his hair as he whispered something to Terra before walking over to Raven. He appeared calm and collected, nonchalant too, but the moment she saw his eyes she saw exactly how nervous and frightened he actually was. Raven said nothing, completely numb as he took her arm and led her out into the hallway, the door closing behind them. Once there, Beast Boy was the one to break her from her reverie of pain and shock as she slowly turned to look at him.

 

“Didja need something Raven?” His tone was cool but she could tell he was scared. When she said nothing, he finally broke. “God Raven…What you saw in there…I'm sorry…it was an accident. I didn't mean to—”

 

It was her turn to cut him off, her eyes empty as she stared at him. “I don't care about what happened in there,” she replied, her voice monotone, and cold as ice. Her face was completely blank, her expression dead as she continued to look at him. On the outside she knew she looked like she didn't care one bit. But on the inside, Raven was screaming, her emotions running rampant as she tried to control her anger and jealousy, her sadness. Or the consequences could be drastic, she knew.

 

Beast Boy rolled his eyes, his nervousness turning into annoyance at her continuous lack of emotion. “Okay, then who cares about it? Anyway, what didja need?”

 

Suddenly Raven found herself in a bit of a problem. `I didn't think about what I'd say…God…I have to get away from here before I destroy something. I know my emotions can't…I can't do this! I know I can't do this!' She paused from her mental beating for a split second. `Then why do I want him to come after me?' Ignoring his question and her subconscious, she turned away and began walking back to her room, her resolve slowly beginning to break. She'd done everything in her power to deny the feelings that were beginning to surface, to push away the truth she knew about her father. After Slade's so-called resurrection, the Titans had been in enough trouble trying to deal with the maniacal villain who'd gained crazy powers. And once again, they had buried him in the lava, desperately attempting to rid Jump city of his horrid presence. But one thing did not change for Raven. `The prophecy…my birthmark…it will never go away…no matter what I've done…' It had begun the day that “Slade” had delivered the message, and she'd been doing everything she could to prevent it from actually happening. And though it did not explain Terra's resurrection so many years later, or the fact that Slade had returned yet again, she didn't have time to dwell on such explanations as she fought to stay in control. `How foolish of me,' she thought as she tried to block out Beast Boy's voice. `All I need is a catalyst…something that will throw me over the edge…' Her eyes widened as she realized what the catalyst was—or whom, rather. With her new found knowledge, she began to walk as fast as possible, the need to get away from her fellow titan increased ten-fold. `Please…don't come after me! If you come after me, it will all go bad…chaos will ensue! Please don't come after me…please…he will be released…please, anything but my father!'

 

Beast Boy's eyes widened, his suspicions confirmed. He went after her, forgetting about Terra as she began to walk faster, her simple trek turning into something resembling a run; most likely to avoid him. “Rae! Rae, wait a minute! You came for something! Stop lying to me!” When she still made no effort to reply to him or acknowledge that she knew he was following her, he reached out for her arm. Successful in grabbing it, he spun her around. Her head went down as she began to struggle to get away, though she dared not speak, he noticed. His grip on her arms held firm as she tried to use her powers but failed and Beast Boy suddenly found the whole situation intensely familiar. He was about to chuckle when she finally stopped, going somewhat limp in his grip. “Raven?” She made no move to look up. Finally, Beast Boy lifted her chin, pushing her cloak back to see her face. He felt his heart break as he saw a single tear drop from her eye—then the shaking started. She collapsed into herself as uncontrollable sobs wracked her slender form, causing her to pitch forward into his arms. He embraced her, holding her as close as possible as he kissed her hair, murmuring to her everything he'd been meaning to say to her since Terra's return. “Rae…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…I was hurt by the things you said that night…and I needed someone…God Raven, I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't…” She managed to choke out as he hugged her tighter. “Please don't say it…you don't understand…just don't…” She could speak no more as she rested against him, her emotions at the breaking point. `Please…no more…I can't keep them down anymore…if he says it…' The decision was taken as she heard him speak. `No…'

 

“I love you Raven, I love you,” he whispered into her hair, loud enough for her to hear, but low enough so that no one else could.

 

`God…why do you have to be so damn caring? Why do you have to love me?' Her mind was screaming obscenities at him as he did what she feared. `God…please stop Beast Boy…You have to stop, this has to end!' She shook her head against him. `I'm in love with him…and I…I don't ever want it to end…never….' For the first time since their interaction happened in the room, Raven let out a choked sob as she wrapped her arms around him, her silent tears trailing down her lavender cheeks as he continued to smooth her hair with his hand. She would have basked in the moment longer had she not felt it, in the core of her being. `I can't…any longer…!' Her mind screamed at her, like a thousand white lights trying to stab her to unconsciousness; her emotions were in turmoil as she felt it awakening inside her. `Father…' Immediately she threw him away as she backed against the wall. “It's too late…it's too late!” She let out a howl of pain as her eyes turned a deadly red. “Hate will dominate!”

 

Beast Boy stared at her in horror as the familiar figure of Rage, otherwise known as Trigon, erupted from Raven's mind. Her soul-self screamed in agony as it was consumed by her father's treacherous power. At that moment, Bumblebee, Cyborg and Terra burst through their respective doors, just in time to be thrown against the wall where Beast Boy was shielding himself from Rage's power as it filled the hallway, blocking out his terrified shout. He managed to stand up with enough time to make his way towards the other three members in the tower, grabbing a hold of Terra's arm as she clung to him in fear. Bumblebee was quivering in fright as she grasped Cyborg's metallic arm with her free hand, the other blocking her eyes from the debris as Titan Tower began to melt, debris flying everywhere. No one said a word—whether it was actually possible for them to or not was something none of them knew—as Raven's transforming figure released a bloodcurdling shriek as she rose into the air, soaring into the sky until she disappeared. Immediately following her leave, the winds died down and the sky began to darken as though a horrid storm was approaching, coloring the sky purple and dark blue as lightening began to strike various places in the town. Beast Boy looked up, his face horror-filled as he saw three figures emerge from the gray clouds, all too familiar. Cyborg was the first to speak, however, as Bumblebee let out another audible gasp and Terra shuddered.

 

“Brother Blood,” Cyborg whispered.

 

“Slade,” Terra said as well, her eyes wide.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

As she soared past the atmosphere of earth, she couldn't help but wonder what awaited her once she arrived back at Titan's Tower. `Will they…forgive me for what I have done?' Her thoughts were cut off abruptly when she saw Titan's Tower come into view; she was horrified as her look fell upon the Tower, which was encompassed in flames. She gasped as she brought her hands to her face, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. `X'hal help us…'

TBC

(So I'm sure everyone wants to kill me right about now, especially for what I did to poor Blackfire…and I'm sorry. I didn't want to kill her—but I did. It fit into the plot, after all. Star is back, yay! But no, Robin isn't around so…what's the team to do? Jinx will be coming in next chapter, I believe…and now the action begins, after a grueling 8 chapters of NO ACTION! I owe to y'all, too! I think Aqualad might not ever appear other than being part of the Titans East so…don't get your hopes up too high on that one. Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed it. R&R whether you did or didn't, flame me, whatever. Chao for now.)

Darkkairi1