Fan Fiction ❯ Johnny's Birthday Bash ❯ They Get Invitations ( Chapter 1 )

Bob J: Once again, Sol, do the disclaimers.

Sol: Guilty Gear XX and its characters belong to Daisuke Ishiwatari, not Bob J. If they did, I would be the king of the world, Ky would be in Jail as Potemkin's playmate, and I-No would be my bitch.

Bob J: Great! Now on to the story!

Chapter 2: They get invitations.

Axl was in his house, playing Guilty Gear XX as he got his ass kicked by I-No (that damn Megalomania attack!) as his computer kept saying "You Got Mail!" he checked his user name on AOL 20.0, lovechain1914, and sure enough there was e-mail, from johnnygurl01 (May).

Axl: Well, e-mail from May. Wonder what she wants? [Reads]: (Hi, Axl! Johnny's havin a party and u r invited! Plz come will u? johnnygurl01!) Johnny's havin a party? GREAT! I'm there! I wonder if the Chief's coming?

At the Japanese Colony:

Baiken: Anji, for the last time, no!

Anji: C'mon Baiken, it'll be fun!

Baiken: No!

Anji: But Johnny'll be disappointed! Please, with sugar on top! Please, please, please?

Baiken: Rrrrraaaggh! All right, dammit! I'll go, just cut that kiddie crap out, you got it?

Anji: (sounding like Jim Carrey): Alrighty Then! [hugs Baiken and runs off to his house]

Baiken: -_-0 He'd be cute if he wasn't so friggin annoying… Wait, what the hell did I just say?! I need a drink! ((O_O))

At Sol's place, wherever the hell that is:

Sol: Hugghh! Dammit! This ends now!!!

*plop!*

Sol: Ahhh… those enchiladas! ^_^

Sol: Humph, mail? Probably bullshit. [Reads]: (Hi Sol! Johnny's havin a party! {Wonderful…} Please come will you? Dizzy'll want you there! May ^_^) Well, if Dizzy wants me to be there… I wonder if that boy scout'll be there, I haven't kicked his ass in a long time.

In Verdant:

Bridget: Oh Ken, please come back!

Bridget: (Using a deeper toned voice, sounds more like a boy): No Barbie, I'm not a one woman man, there are bigger and better things in life, and you were just a booty call.

Bridget: (Using normal voice): Ken, Noooo!!!! [You Got Mail!] Oh, mail! [Reads]: (to sk8rboi from johnnygurl01: Hi Bridget! Johnny's havin a party! U R invited! Plz come will u? Dizzy wants u 2 b there!)

Bridget: Wow, Dizzy wants ME to be there?! Oh man [just hit puberty at this very moment, and sounds like a boy.]! Hey what the hell am I doin' dressed like a chick? If I go to the party like this, everybody'll think I'm gay!

At the International Police Force Headquarters:

Ky: I got mail! I wonder who its from? [Reads]: (to holyknightK from johnnygurl01: Hi Ky! Johnny's havin' a party and U R invited! Plz come will u? Jam said she's comin'.)

Ky: A party? It would be most excellent to take a break to attend the party, but I'm swamped with work. But on the other hand, Miss Jam will be there, and I can't disappoint her. (So proper ain't he?) Oh Almighty One, what should I do? Hey, Lieutenant Huber?

Lt. Huber: (sounds like Vincent Price): Yessss…? What can I do for you?

Ky: Can you take over my paperwork for me, I have pressing matters that I have to attend to. Are you okay with this?

Lt. Huber: Yessss… I can do that!

As Ky leaves, Lt. Huber pulls off a rubber mask revealing a brown paper bag with a glowing hole in it (Faust), and gets to work.

Faust: Whistle while we work! *whistles*

In China:

Jam: You! Put more shark in shark fin soup! And you, make more noodles! Aya!

Working girl: (girl that runs around in the background on Jam's stage): Miss Kuradoberi, you have a phone call!

Jam: Aya! Who is it?!

Working girl: Some girl named May! She said its important!

Jam: Aya! Hello?!

May: Hiya Jam! You are invited to Johnny's party! Ky said he'd be there! Please come will you?

Jam: Aya… ^_^ Ky… that flawless face, that sea of blonde hair, those piercing blue eyes! Aya! I'll be there faster than you can say "Jackie Chan!"

May: -_-0 Umm… okay? (What's a jaky chan?)

Jam: Aya! Okay! You! Get back to work!

Working Girl: Yes ma'am! ((O_O))

In Australia:

Zappa: Woah, I got mail?

S-Ko: Grampa stuck a finger in my ass!

Zappa: -_-0 Well lets see what it says: (To Mr. Zappa from May: Johnny's having a party, and U R invited!) Sounds delightful! What about it S-Ko?

S-Ko: Stinky Butt, big black ass dick bitch! Yahhh!!!

Zappa: I'll take that as a yes…

Back to the Japanese Colony:

Chipp: Woah, mail! [Reads]: Dear mister Zanuff from May: Johnny's having a party, and U R invited. P.S.: You didn't hear this from me, but Johnny has a stash of pot, whatever that is!)

Chipp: Holy Zen! Pot! Shit yeah, I'm there!

In an apartment somewhere:

Millia: Hmmm? I have mail? Oh shit, it could be an anthrax letter from Venom. I wouldn't put it past him. I'll have my hair open it. [uses hair to open letter, and dumps contents on the floor]. Phew! Let's see what it says: [Reads]: (Miss Millia from May: Johnny's havin a party, and you are invited!) How sweet of May to invite me, but I dunno, Johnny is known to quite the lecher, but if it's from May, I won't disappoint her.

In Nirvana:

Assassin: Lord Venom, I have a letter for you.

Venom: Really, who's it from?

Assassin: The letter says its from someone named May.

Venom: May? Ah yes, the Jellyfish Pirate that hangs around Johnny. Give me the letter.

Assassin: Here you go sir.

Venom: [Reads]: (To Venom, from May: Hi Venom, Johnny's having a party and you're invited! Please come will you. Millia said you're gay!) What the..?! Millia called me GAY?! You give Master Zato-1 head once and you're labeled 'gay' for the rest of your life!

Assassin: ((O_O)) Ahh… ummm… will you be attending this party, sir?

Venom: You're damn right I'm going. And I'm going to score with a chick to prove I'm not gay!

Assassin: Will you be needing a condom sir?

Venom: Nope. I'm going to do it DOGGY STYLE, raw dogging it! Yeah!

Assassin: -_-0

In a dark place:

That Man: I-No… come to me.

I-no: Yes Mister… um… That Man, sir? Would you like me to Stroke the Big Tree again?

That Man: I-No, just call me Peter, and no, not tonight… I'm not in the mood…

I-No: Well, um Mr. Peter? Why did you summon me?

That Man: I-No, you have mail.

I-No: Really? [Reads]: (To I-No from May: Hi I-No, I know (ha!) we got off on the wrong foot but I'm inviting you to Johnny's party. Please come will you?) How sweet, little May wants me to attend a party. I hope it turns into an orgy!

That Man, or Peter: Was I invited?
I-No: Nope. Sorry sir.

That Man, or Peter:Darn it all… It's so boring here, and Raven doesn't help it become any less boring… Well, go on, and tell me all about it later.

I-No: Thank you sir, peace out! [Flies off]

Raven: So, you let her go, sir…

That Man, or Peter: Wanna play Monopoly or something?

Raven: Okay! I'll be the doggie!

That Man, or Peter: Great! I'll be the horse!

Bob J: Well that's Chapter 2. Wait till chapter 3 is up! Oh yeah, Read and review, or Sol will roast ya!

Sol: Ya damn right! Hey, will I get any in this story?
Bob J: Wait and find out!