Fan Fiction ❯ Just One Night Out ❯ Drowning in you ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 5.) Drowning in you

d/c: I do not own Teen Titans. I never have. I never will. I do not own Tekken 4, or Tekken characters Steve Fox/Jin Kazama either. Evanescence's "Going Under" isn't mine. R & R. Enjoy.



Introduction:

The "sequel" to "Just One Night Out". In this series, the fates have left one desperate player behind...leaving her a distraught shell that she never was. May be slightly darker than the first...This takes place a week after Robin and Raven have expressed their feelings, and are happily together. I still don't know if this a such a good idea...If not, tell me quit now, before I attempt career suicide.

Key:

' '=Thoughts

" "=Spoken words

"" ""=Music

Day: Number 10

Point Of View: Beast Boy

Location: Titan Tower

Setting: Living Room

Time: 10:25 A.M.

Beast Boy smirked to himself. 'Hah, tin can here isn't doing as good as he hoped.' Currently, he and Cyborg were playing Tekken 4 on their television set. In it, Beast Boy was playing a blonde pretty boy boxing champ, while Cyborg was playing a spikey haired martial artist. "You're gonna lose, you're gonna lose!" Beast Boy taunted, his character avoiding a fancy axe kick with a spin into a massive right jab, sending the martial artist flying across the screen. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Cyborg grunted back, failing to block a low strike, immediately followed by a damaging overhead strike. Starfire simply watched, an ever present smile on her face.

Unfortunately for Cyborg, Beast Boy was more used to the streetfighting game; it was apparent he was kicking ass. Cyborg was moving around desperately to gain an advantage; on the screen, he attempted to perform a spin kick on the ducking boxer. Beast Boy countered it with a few quick jabs, an uppercut, and finally a low sweeping strike with a hooking punch. "You lose!" Flashed before Cyborg's irate eyes. He threw the controller down and began dancing with rage. "My tenth loss! When will this losing streak end?!"

Beast Boy pretended to consider this. "Uh...when you give up, maybe?" Cyborg glared at him before continuing his tirade. "Man, I'm losing my edge...nah, I'll chalk it to inexperience." Beast Boy rolled his eyes at his collosal ally. "Please, you just can't admit that I'm too good for this!" Cyborg shook his head vehemently. "No, that isn't what it is...I've lost my edge...cause I've lost my most loyal supporter Robin!" Here he glared holes at a certain someone who was being touchy feely with said supporter. "Ever since bird boy glanced his goo-goo eyes on the crow, nothing's ever been the same! Those two have stuck together"

Beast Boy had to admit that was true. Robin did not spend so much time at the front couch. Instead, he was always hanging around Raven, doing whatever he could to please her and make her happy, and she did the same in turn. Both Raven and Robin had changed considerably; Raven was more open and cheerful, and Robin was less likely to fool around. Beast Boy could practically feel the aura of hearts surrounding the couple; these two were meant to be together. "Wish that was me," He smiled wyrly at the couple. He had had a small crush on Raven...for a while, actually. 'No, I still do.' He had been just too chicken to step up to the plate. Now, it was too late. 'Luck favors the brave,' Beast couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt as the couple held hands and played around like their was nothing wrong with the world.

'Guess I should have tried?' He mused. His conscience thought about it, and shrugged. 'Maybe, but you knew that Raven liked Robin, and he liked her back. It would have been foolish to interfere...besides, we're all friends. A love triangle would probably end with unsatisfactory results; at least one of us would end up hurt.' Beast Boy smiled at the happy couple. "I wish you luck, you two. Wonder how it feels to love and be loved? Someday, maybe I'll experience your happiness. Hmmm. That's a pleasant thought."

Beast Boy was not paying attention to the television screen. Cyborg had taken advantage and was pummeling away at the boxer. "Hey! No fair!" Beast Boy cried in protest as his character was smashed all over the place. Beast Boy blinked twice at the screen as it flashed the "You lose!" sign at him. Starfire frowned at Cyborg, who was being his own cheerleader. He began to spell out his name as he twirled about. "C! Y! B! O! R! G! What's that equal?" Beast Boy glared up at the grinning Cyborg, shaking a finger at him. "See if you can laugh this one down, tin man! This is what I think of you!"

Beast Boy began to make a mockery cheer squad routine, turning into a chicken to make a silly dance parody of Cyborg. "B! U! L! L! S! H! I, And T-!" Starfire tittered at the little act; Cyborg was less than amused. Beast Boy began to run for cover as Cyborg chased after him. "Why you! Come back here! Take this! How dare you duck when I throw things at you!" Cyborg was tossing anything at hand at a mouse-form Beast Boy.

Starfire stopped Cyborg with one sentence: "That wasn't particularly sportsmanlike of you, Cyborg." He glared at the green eyed redhead. "Hah! This is a videogame! Rules of fairness do not apply! Hell, even in the real world there are no rules! You know that! The world just isn't a fair place!" Cyborg turned to Beast Boy. "Isn't that right?" Beast Boy glared daggers at him. Cyborg, seeing he had the last word, calmed down enough to sit civilly by a wary Beast Boy and continue their little video game war.

Day: Number 10

Point Of View: Beast Boy

Location: Titan Tower

Setting: Living Room

Time: 10:25 A.M.

Starfire's poem, written a day before

The Price of Deceit

I act as though nothing matters to me.

Say no to your sentimentality.

I smile and play, to hide the fact,

This facade of mine's is simply an act.

If only I could reveal what I feel,

Strengthen myself, release my appeal.

I need you here; but you're not there.

You left me alone, in lonely despair.

I should've known, but I failed see

The truth is the truth, and so it'll be.

Starfire pouted slightly. She glanced in Robin and Raven's direction, a look of uncustomary jealous desire written all over ber normally cheerful face. 'If only this world was fair,' She thought longingly. Starfire couldn't help feeling jealous of Raven, perhaps even hate the dark sorceress, for having gained what she could not. Unlike Beast Boy, who simply accepted the fact that he was wishing on a star much to high to reach, she was determined to go the distance. For a long time she'd felt an admiration for Robin. That had changed some time ago.

'When did these feelings begin to grow? I don not know, really...I just grew onto him, I guess.' She did not let Robin out of her sight, hoping he would look this way, and notice her. It was admittedly naive thinking, but Starfire could not accept any other truth, even when it was a lie. 'How ironic life is...Raven was once the dark, brooding, sad loner...and I was the one swimming in an ocean of happiness...but now she's jumped right into my ocean, and I'm dumped in her place now.'

Before, she'd felt content with Robin sitting by her side while watching the television, especially when Robin felt tired and leaned against her for comfort. Back then Raven showed no real interest in him; it had seemed Starfire had Robin all to herself. Starfire had almost thought that Beast Boy would end up with the sorceress. No such luck, though. Something had happened recently between Robin and Raven, and everything had changed since. She sighed dreamily, her cheeks burning and heart pumping a few beats too many, as she recalled the first time her feelings had welled up for the esteemed leader of the team.

FLASHBACK (Two Years ago)

Day: Number ?

Point Of View: Starfire

Location: Wayne Manor

Setting: Guest Room, with bunk beds

Time: 10:35 P.M.

Robin knew this bunkbed idea was going to be a disaster; he had repeatedly had arguments with wayne how everyone sleeping in the same room was not going to make for pleasant dreams. "Trust me, Wayne; none of us are exactly going to be having a good time being bunked up together like this." Robin had tried to reason with Wayne. Wayne, in turn, simply shrugged and crossed his arms. "This is my house, my rules, and you will abide with them...or you could sleep outside, instead." Robin shook his head, defeated. "You win...," He muttered as he left the room, and headed for the bunk bed room, where everyone else was situated. He scratched his head as they stared at him.

"Well? What is it going to be?" Cyborg asked impatiently. Robin hung his head. "No go. We have to sleep in the bunk beds. No exceptions." Everyone else groaned loudly...save for Starfire. "Yay!" She bounced up and down happily, as everyone else gave her skeptical looks. "I think the happiness pudding has taken its toll on her," Beast Boy murmured to Cyborg. He nodded solemnly. "Uh huh." Raven looked around herself. "But there is only two bunk beds, and an old worn out couch missing blankets. Who is going to sleep where?"

Robin smiled broadly as he drew out some straws. "Easy! Let's draw!" Cyborg grinned with anticipation, rubbing his hands gleefully. "Oh yeah! Let's see who gets the crummy ol' couch!" Everyone took their turns, and revealed their hand. Minutes later, Beast Boy was sleeping on the top bunk of bed one, with Raven underneath. Robin was sleeping on the bootom bunk of bed two, with Starfire above him. Cyborg was left out on a couch, without blankets, since he came off unlucky drawing straws. Cyborg grumbled unhappily. "Of all the luck! Why do I end up getting the short end of the stick?! Ooh, Robin! I'll get back at ya for this insult! Mark my words...G'night...ya bunch of bums."

Starfire tossed and turned on her upper bunk. It was so hot up here! "This makes me wish I took the couch, instead." She rolled around, unaware how close she was to the edge. "Sigh...so much for...Oh!" Starfire felt herself fall off, dropping unceremoniously on the lower bunk. She began to babble an apology to the occupant. "Oops! I am terribly sorry! I will-!" A hand came up and gently silenced her. Even in the darkness, she could see the smile on Robin's face. "Hey, there Starfire. Nice to have you drop by, but isn't it a little late for a house call?" Starfire giggled at his playfullness. "It is a bit uncomfortable on the upper bunk, I think." She began to climb back up, but Robin stopped her by taking her hand. "Stay."

Starfire stared at him with wide eyes, feeling a fluttering sensation, as well as a cold electrical flash through her system. "You wish me to stay, Robin?" He grinned softly. "If you don't mind. It is nice to have company, and you can sleep comfortably down here, Star." She allowed herself to be drawn back down, blushing as he placed his arms around her waist. "Well...this is a much more comfortable position...," She managed to say. "Glad you like it, Star. I sure do." Robin stroked her face once, and she did the same for him.

They smiled at one another, saying nothing but communicating nonetheless. Starfire broke the silence between them. "Robin? Why do like this cuddling so much?" He paused, a slight flush coming on his face. "You're a friend I feel comfortable with. I feel safe in your arms...and your happiness does rub off on me, you know." That answer satisfied her greatly, effectively flattering her, causing another bout of sensations. "Thank you, Rovin. Good night, Rob." He closed his eyes, but kept his smile. "Sweet dreams, Star."

'Oh, God, that was more than just a friendly gesture in my point of view.' Starfire had taken the rest of that day to study her interactions, reading through books and searching through the internet. All her symptoms pointed in one direction; love. At first, she was appalled. 'I can't be in love with Robin, he's just a friend. He's like a brother to me, not someone I'd feel like marrying in the future...,' And so she had resolved to ignore those feelings of thrilling excitement and pretended that Robin was her brother, or best friend. That was her worst mistake...

FLASHBACK ENDS

"How cruel the fates were to me. Ignoring those feelings only intensified what I felt for-," She couldn't suppress an involuntary shudder at the thought of her beloved. "Robin...and just as I'm starting to give in, he's given himself to another..." She stared after him, imagining herself in Raven's place. She missed his playful nature, missed his smiles and his willingness to listen to whatever she had to say, no matter how trivial. He had always been there for her...and during the past few days, that all changed.

Starfire muttered quietly to no one in particular. "I have a secret for you, Robin. You might think that the spark of your relationship was simply a secret you two could keep forever...but I saw...I saw the beginning, and fatefully, I saw the end result...it all took a span of three days for your relationship to bloom...exactly seven days ago, you two became one...and it all took place at Wayne Manor...

FLASHBACK

Day: Number 3

Point Of View: Starfire

Location: Wayne Manor

Setting: Kitchen, then to Guest room #3

Time: 9:25 P.M.

Starfire was in the kitchen, trying her hand at cooking...well, cookies. Not exactly the proper item for a meal, but Alfred did not mind. He slowly instructed Starfire on the proper method and ingredients. "Yes, this is it...no, mustard and pickles do not go in...that is correct, chocolate chips are befitting...er, you might want to skip putting that in..." Starfire was enjoying herself. 'Something new to learn; and done properly! Wait till RObin sees this! He'll be impressed!' She felt herself flush at the thought. "Wait...I can give him this batch of cookies! I bet he'll love it...," Here she paused to smile dreamily at nothing, "Hopefully as much as he likes me." Alfred gave her a bemused look. "My, the young certainly do dream, don't they?" Starfire replied absent-mindedly. "Yes, they most certainly do. Oops!"

Alfred chuckled as Starfire regained her concentration. "I can see you are in love with someone." Starfire said nothing, but hid her blushing face. Alfred patted her shoulder good naturedly. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Madame Starfire. It is a natural occurance. The only shame in it is if you deny those feelings, and do not give it a try." Starfire stared up at him. 'He is not pyschic, is he?' Alfred simply smiled at her wide eyed expression. "It is easy to see your feelings; your eyes tell it all. I've seen it quite enough to recognize the emotion. May I venture and ask if your interest is someone currently in this household?" Starfire nodded slowly. "Yes...Is it that obvious?" He winked at her conspirationally. "I won't tell if you won't. Ah! The cookies are done." He opened the oven, and pulled out the tray.

Starfire beamed at her (and Alfred's) creation. It smelled great...and upon tasting them, even more superb. Alfred took out a bowl from the cupboard and placed the cookies inside of it. He handed this to Starfire, who looked up at him questioningly. Alfred's wink was even more teasing than usual. "Here...Why not make this a gift to your beloved? I'm sure he'll be pleased to know that pretty little Starfire took the time and effort to make him a delectable batch." Starfire grinned broadly at the idea. "Thank you, Alfred. Just as I had originally intended! Thanks again!" Alfred bowed low as she left the room, humming a bright tune. "Your welcome, Madame Star. Good luck."

Starfire carefully held the bowl as she climbed up the stairs and up into Robin's guest room. "Robin! Look what I...huh?" Upon reaching the room, she found it to be empty. She frowned slightly. "Oh no, he did not leave the premises already, did he?" 'No, he is still here; hear that?' From the distance she could hear his voice in another room...whispering to someone else. She shrugged, and her smile returned. "Well, we could all enjoy my treat! A little happiness goes a long way!" Starfire trudged down the hall, and found herself at the entrance of Raven's room. The door was slightly ajar, so she looked inside. "Rob-!" What she saw stopped her completely. 'What? Can this be...?' Raven was on top of Robin, kissing and cuddling away. In that instant, she felt her emotions crushed, as brittle and sharp like glass. 'I...I...do not understand...I thought Raven...?'

She tried to will herself to look away; failed. She was riveted to the spot, like a spectator forced to watch a loved one being forced into a horrid event, helpless to save or move, only to watch with hopeless and frustrating grief. Her smile remained, but now it was hurt. "Well, this is definitely not what I was expecting." Her mind grasped at possibilities that what she was seeing wasn't possible; maybe it was some bad dream? Or was she just seeing things? Deep inside, she knew she was only trying to deny the truth staring her straight in the face, as blunt as it was brutal, lashing out at her fragile love. 'But I am in love with Robin! Raven loves him as well?'

Then a brutal thought came up to state the final truth; "Robin loves Raven, and not you.' She put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying out, or screaming. She bit her lip, causing some blood to drip forth. The pain did not register in her mind, since an even greater one had taken its toll on her poor mind. A choked sob issued forth, but Raven and Robin did not notice. So wrapped up in each other were they that neither took notice of the sparkling tears that fell from Star's eyes, to fall away, ignored and uncared for.

Raven looked a bit flustered. Robin looked up in concern. "Something wrong, Raven?" Raven shook her head, still uncertain. "No...Robin? Do you believe in destiny?" Robin's worry dissipated with a content smile. He kissed her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, and finally full in the lips, succeeding in wiping away all her previous doubts and misgivings. He paused long enough to whisper into her ear, before resuming the kiss. "I don't know. I believe in us! isn't that enough?" Raven leaned into his arms contentedly. "Hmm...yeah...Robin and Raven. Like I said before...," The couple spoke their undying promise together, foreheads touching. "Birds of a feather, now and forever."

That was the last words Starfire wanted to hear. Her hurt smile faded, until her expression was nothing more than a firm line. 'I see they are closer than I anticipated...and I was hoping to...,' The thought was not allowed to finish. She quietly walked away from the ajar door, and headed back down to the kitchen, where she left the cookies on the table for anyone to take. Starfire did not think, nor did she speak, as she left dejectedly back to her room, and stayed there for the rest of the day. An hour later, Robin had commented on how good the cookies were when he and Raven had left the room for a snack. "Very nice, Star! At this rate, you'll be the resident gourmet cook!" Though a compliment, the words did nothing to alleviate the emptiness within her, nor the paralyzing pain that came later. one sentence, a saying, repeated itself in her memories from then on; "Fortune favors the brave."

FLASHBACK ENDS



Now he had no time for that...his days were now spent with Raven. Starfire knew she should be happy for Raven and Robin for having found their happiness together. A selfish thought couldn't stop itself from entering her mind; 'What of my happiness? I just can't stand to see you in her arms...I can't help but cry myself to sleep all these lonely nights, with no one to help me through the pain...but what can I do? You are my rainbow, but I am not yours...' She had completely forgotten where she was. Beast Boy had long ceased playing to stare with pity at Starfire.

Day: Number 10

Point Of View: Beast Boy

Location: Titan Tower

Setting: Living Room

Time: 10:45 A.M.

"Poor girl...I've been noticing her reactions recently. I can tell why she hasn't exactly been talking so much to anyone. That girl's fallen for him, and hard...but he can't even see it; he's too involved with...Raven. No ones been there for her all this time...," Beast Boy bit his lip; he was unused to comforting anybody. 'Should I?' He debated to himself. 'She's your friend, Beastie. Help her,' His conscience instructed him, 'For her sake.' He stood up, his mind made up. 'I'd be ashamed to just ignore her pain. Even she needs a shoulder to cry on...' "Cy, I'll be out for a bit. Don't wait up." Cyborg grunted acknowledgment without looking at him.

He turned his attention to Starfire. "Star...," He called to her softly. She did not hear him, her mind still desperately envisioning herself and Robin together. He sighed, and stood in front of her line of sight. Even though he stood in the way, Starfire began to manuever around him, trying to keep sight of her Robin. 'She is so hopelessly infatuated with him. Sigh...I know how you feel, Star...' Taking pity on her, Beast Boy stood to the side, allowing her to have an unobstructed view of her beloved. He cleared his throat to catch her attention.

"Starfire, please...I need to talk to you. I'm worried about you...," She tried to protest. Starfire put on one of her smiles and tried to laugh it off, clapping her hands cheerfully. "I'm fine, Beastie, really, really, really, fine... happy, happy...," She trailed off listlessy as her facade fell apart completely. Beast Boy's pitying gaze told her he knew she was not fooling him. "Star...? You don't have to act so cheerful when you really aren't feeling it...its okay, really. It hurts me to see you try to hide your feelings beneath a smile, while your mind is screaming for an end to the pain."

Starfire couldn't keep her eyes from straying to the floor, nor keep her mind off of the one Raven so fondly called, 'Wonder Boy.' She slumped in defeat. She was no longer smiling, a tear slowly falling from her pretty eyes, down her cheeks, and into her lap. Beast Boy tenderly wiped away the tear gently with his fingers. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and stooped down to her level. "Let's talk in some place more private, shall we?" Starfire nodded solemnly, still looking at her feet. He smiled reassuringly. "Good girl. Let's go."

Beast Boy led Starfire out of the room, making certain no one could see the girl's distress. He escorted her up to the roof top, where secrecy was guaranteed. Once there, Starfire sat down on the concrete, silent and disspirited. He sat down in front of her, not sure how to begin. "Does he not notice me...?" She began weakly. Before he could reply, she rattled on. "Why did I fall for someone who will not love me back...? I am aware this is an infatuation...but I just can not let this go. I'll do anything for him to look at me the way he looks at Raven." She looked at her hands, and clenched them tightly. "He will not even talk to me anymore...I am not even a friend to him...just an object in the background, like an empty soda can."

Beast Boy felt himself at a loss. He shook his head furiously. "That isn't tru-!" Starfire gave him a scathing glare that shut him up. 'I've never seen her this way before....,' Beast Boy cringed. She was screaming at him, venting her frustrations out at him. "You think?! He has been treating each and everyone of us like we do not even exist! He disregards our every thought and feeling...All he cares about is his Raven...'Oh, I love you Raven...you're my rainbow, Raven...' I'm sick of hearing it!"

Her eyes flashed dangerously, making him instinctively run for his life. She powered up her fists, and launched a dangerously large, green circular charged bolt towards the ocean below, causing a huge tidal wave to form and crash onto the beach on the other side. Starfire slumped back down, her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, Beastie...I should not have vented my frustrations on you...You were just tryign to help," She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. "But why does he not like me...? Why does he not he care?" Starfire began flicking loose asphalt off the roof and down to the sea.

Beast Boy screwed up the courage to sit back down by Starfire."Starfire, we are still his friends, no matter what he does...," Starfire interrupted with a sullen, "Yeah, right." He looked up at this; "It is true!...Robin still considers us all friends...," Here he shrugged carelessly, "But the brutal truth of it all is...to him, Raven is his world now...he can live without us. Me and Cy, we can take a hit; 'Sides, we got each other to back us up. Sadly, you seem to have lost your closest confidante. I know how you feel, Star. I was in love with Raven, you know."

Starfire stared up at him with shock. Beast Boy grinned, but couldn't look at her. He shrugged hopelessly. "It wasn't exactly a secret...you saw how I was always joking around with her, even if she ignored me or slapped them back in my face. I still tried my best...," He lowered his head with a rueful smile, "But sometimes doing your best, putting 110% into something you want...just won't cut it. I also wished...no, I still wish, that Raven would see and notice me," He closed his eyes, but forced himself not to cry, "But that is something I have to let go. It isn't her fault she doesn't like me back...I cannot do anything to change what she feels. I'll just have to live with it." Starfire nodded sympathetically. "I see...so you too know what this feels like...this rejection." Beast Boy couldn't help but put an arm over the smaller Star's shoulders.

Starfire looked hopelessly up at him. "What can I do...? Please, tell me...," She grabbed the front of his suit and shook him slightly, back and forth. Beast Boy wanted to tell her to just let it go, get over it, find someone else to fall in love with...but the heart-breaking look in her eyes told him all he needed; she wouldn't be able to let this go, even if she wanted to; her heart had been set a long time ago to Robin, and no one else. 'She is so desperate to do anything to cling to Robin,' He sighed softly. 'I don't doubt her when she says she'll do anything for him. It'll crush her if I tell her the truth...' His conscience wrestled around, wondering what to tell her.



He decided upon an indirect truth, rather than give her the brutal reality check that would probably spiral her world out of control. "Starfire, there are many things you can do...but the choices are all up to you. You can find someone else to love, or do something about your current state of affairs. I can't tell you how to lead your life; it is really up to yourself. I'm truly sorry. This world...just isn't fair." He patted her shoulder. "That is all I can tell you...I'll always be around to listen if you need me. I'm really sorry, Star..." Beast Boy mentally berated himself.

'That the best comforting speech you could come up with?!' He cringed slightly. 'Hey, I'm new at this! I didn't have much time to do this, and besides, sometimes it is better to tell a painful truth than the hopeful lie...'cause there is absolutely no faith behind that lie.' He sighed softly. "It is better to sever hopeless feelings than to pursue the impossible, and hurt yourself worse than you already were. Does that make me a bad person?' This seemed to staisfy his conscience for a while. 'No, it does not.'

Starfire seemed to brighten a little. "Thanks, Beast. It does hurt still...but I'll choose wisely." He nodded as he stood up. "I'll have a word with Robin...," Starfire seemed to stare at him in horror. "No, do not do that...please...," She tugged at his shirt, the hopeless look back on her face. Beast Boy smiled wanly and shook his head. "Uh...Not about this, but about his ignorance towards us all...he needs a little pep talk, anyway. This is no way to treat his friends...even if he loves Raven the most. You stayin' up here, Star?"

She nodded quietly. Beast Boy squeezed her shoulder softly. "Take care...and good luck. See you later, Starfire. I wish you the best. Don't worry...things will work out. Oh yeah...Star?" Starfire stared questioningly at him. He smiled broadly, "You're very pretty when you smile. I think Robin was a fool for choosing someone else over you. But you're better than that...right?" She smiled slightly at these words. "Thanks." He walked towards the stairs, pausing to give one last worried glance at his friend. "I only hope things'll work out..," He sighed as he steeled himself for a little one on one with Robin. 'Now, how do I borrow Raven's boy toy?'

Admittedly, Beast Boy was ticked off at Robin's behavior. Robin used to be open about everything...now, he was unwilling to impart any knowledge let alone story of his life. Raven was the center of Robin's life; no one else seemed to matter. And all this while, Starfire was locked in a prison of her own design. "Robin, I'm happy for you, living in your dream fantasy...but can't you see how you've left us all in the dust? How you've been crushing Starfire's fantasies all this time? At least you could have been a friend to her. I must say you are more fool than I thought you to be."

Day: Number 10

Point Of View: Starfire

Location: Titan Tower

Setting: Roof top

Time: 11:05 A.M.

Starfire waited until she was sure Beast Boy had left. She sighed softly as she paced back and forth, anxiety setting in once more. "That really aided my situation in no concievable way. I must-," Her thoughts repeated one of the statements that Beastie had made; "Do something about it." 'What does that mean?' A new voice reared its ugly head from within the depths of her mind. 'Steal him back.' She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the treacherous thought.'No, Robin is happy with Raven; Raven is happy with him. I cannot steal that away from them! It just is not fair! Besides, I never owned him in the first place!'

Starfire shook her head, trying to refuse the temptation. 'Ah, but the world isn't fair, is it? Cyborg said so, as did Beast Boy himself. Do something about it...you deserve him.' Starfire shook herself furiosly. Somewhere, Raven was playing some music on the cd player. If Star was listening, she would have recognized it to be Evanescence's "Going Under." Starfire wrestled with her confused and conflicting feelings and conscience, trying to make it go away. 'You love him.' 'Go away!' 'Don't deny it!' 'Leave me alone, please!' 'You need him, don't let that witch bring you down! You are above her!'

"Going Under"

now i will tell you what i've done for you

50 thousand tears i've cried

screaming deceiving and bleeding for you

and you still won't hear me

don't want your hand this time i'll save myself

maybe i'll wake up for once

not tormented daily defeated by you

just when i thought i'd reached the bottom

i'm dying again

"I do not want to hear it! Robin is my friend, and so is Raven! I cannot possibly betray them!" She screamed into the sky. The voice paused, seeming to give up. Then the insistent voice began anew, scorn dripping from its tone. 'Why do you care for what Raven thinks? She is not exactly a close friend of yours; you always manage to make her mad even when you do something from the heart. Well, you used to, anyway. And...No, do not deny it; you have always wanted this...' Starfire began to stumble about, trying to do anything to silence that voice. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!!! I can not give in! It is wrong!" Starfire couldn't help but feel aware that her emotions were winning against over her morality. Inside, she felt like a pressure valve being released, slowly but assuredly, to erupt inevitably.

i'm going under

drowning in you

i'm falling forever

i've got to break through

i'm going under

blurring and stirring the truth and the lies

so i don't know what's real and what's not

always confusing the thoughts in my head

so i can't trust myself anymore

i'm dying again

Starfire closed her eyes shut, her hands clenched so tight her knuckles were white. 'Now I know what it feels to be so bitter...is this how Raven felt?' For the first time, Starfire felt her anger, sorrow, and love meld together as one emotion; a deep passion.'You want Robin; don't deny your feelings. At least try; it is only fair.' Starfire couldn't take it anymore. She shut her eyes shut, as tears of rage, jealousy, and frustration began to fall down her face. 'You want him. You need him. You know it. "I know. I am sorry, Raven...I really am...but I want him just as much as you...," Starfire ignored the guilty feeling creepng up in her gut, and shut it out. She looked across at the lonely sea, talking to no one in particular. I will try my best...it is the least I can afford myself. Like I have stated before, I am sorry for interfering in your dreams...but you have invaded mine in the process. I will do what I can...," Starfire gritted her teeth as she stated her fateful promise, "Even if it destroys our friendship."

i'm going under

drowning in you

i'm falling forever

i've got to break through

so go on and scream

scream at me i'm so far away

i won't be broken again

i've got to breathe i can't keep going under

With that, Starfire dusted herself off, and brushed away the tears of sorrow. She smiled ruefully, and shook her head. "I am aware there will be hell to pay...maybe even more than that...," She walked down the stairs, down the hall, and into her room, where she laid herself down to bed. She looked up at the cieling of her room, which was dotted with photographs of Robin and her together, before Robin fell in with Raven. She smiled serenely, remembering those moments of long ago. "But even if I must pay the ultimate punition for my sins, I am willing to take a chance at this."

She closed her eyes, hoping for the best, and not thinking about the odds against her. She felt confident, and strangely powerful, as if she could do anything. She picked out the middle photograph from her ceiling mosaic. In it, it showed her and Robin, sitting side by side, on a rollercoaster ride. The two were beaming at the photographer, who happened to be Beast Boy. Star stroked the picture of Robin fondly, as if she was doing the same to the real Robin. She blushed deeply, realizing what she was doing. "I will break through to you, Robbie. And I will not go under."

A mischievious grin issued forth as her excitement grew. "Now, let us see. How will I steal back my beloved from the witch? I must ponder this carefully...," With that, Starfire locked herself in her room, taking up every possible scenario in her mind...until she picked just the right one. "Show time!" She beamed, as she left her room to find her dream date.