Fan Fiction ❯ Kisa's poetry ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

AOI 1

I sit in this chair

I sing this song

I wait for you

And wish for you

I write to you and need you here

To come and take my hand

Pull me out

Not ask me for a cigarette

I want you there with me when I fall

I want you to be the one I fall into

Not be the one you tell to go to class

Or push away because I happen to be in the way

I want to embrace you in my arms

Hold you tight forever

I may not be in love

But imagine how I would be if I was

Get this out of me

And pull me up to you

I have to have you girl

I just need to find out how much I feel for you

And you aren't making it easy

I'm broken yes

But you make me feel the urge to cry

The screaming raven flies

The glass shadows

The window open

Stand alone complex

I am in the dark

The blood still spills

Your hands slip inside me

Like the blade I used to trust

I used to thrust into the flesh

My palm soaked in crimson ties and regrets

Wrist flooded in violet reminder

I know I shouldn't

But this feeling is driving me crazy

I have to release the passion and desire somehow

And to hurt myself this way

Seems how I should do it

And I hide it from you

But I write it out

Hoping you will see this and know

Get the sign I throw at your face

You just don't understand

I don't think I would be happy again if you let go

Or if you ran away

Feed the hunger deep within my heart

Inner universe

Inside my mind

Spirits left alone inside

Need to release them

Signs that come and make me feel like I'm dead

You'd always be there in the corner

Of this tiny little world

Maybe I am not the one to tell the world your mine

But to let me feel like no knife is constantly diving deeper

Into the flesh on my back

To feel like my scars are gone even for a moment

I would give up everything

You know that

But you don't admit it

Because no matter how many things I say

You know actions are stronger than just words alone

And your scared to get attached

Just like me

But you know that what I say is true

And you don't want another heartbreak

That's why your holding back

You hide your tears and pain

Express them in words

And then try to show people your feelings

With the ink you let out

Or lead if you choose

My preferred weapon is also my soother

And I try to soothe you

The mountains can stand tall and move at my command

Yet not at any others

Because I can listen

I can heal

But I can't heal myself

I am terrified of you

And I think you know this to

But I want to whisper your name to the wind

As it rolls on to the hills and valleys

Carries my voice to your ear

And you smile at the word

And put down that knife

Regret your infliction and clean up your blood

This is what I wish for

But you have to talk back to me…

And you have to let me know

So I won't keep on going

And I won't keep on hoping…