Fan Fiction ❯ Life, Love, and Waiting ❯ Thoughts in the Shower ( Chapter 8 )

Katie left us to talk, going up stairs to fix lunch, a very late lunch.

"So… Katie's right, we have a lot to talk about," he began. I could tell that he was nervous, I was too.

"Yeah, we do…" I said, not wanting to look up. Somehow this still all seemed a dream, a very strange dream. Jeremy lifted my chin to look into my eyes.

"You really need to talk to me, babe, I know we have a lot to talk about so just look at me." I nodded. "Come here," he held out his arms and I curled up into him.

"I love you," I started out.

"I love you too," he responded. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

I looked into his eyes, he could tell from my expression that I was serious. I was pregnant.

"Oh boy…" he was silent, "you're positive?"

"Three different tests… it could be a girl ya know…" I gave him the same smart-alick response that he knew me so well for. He responded by holding me closer, tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere babe," he whispered in my ear trying to silence my unspoken fears. He was really good at that.

"Ok…" I breathed, "I'm keeping it you know…" I looked into his eyes. He nodded and held me closer. We sat there talking about where we would go, what we would do, how we would live. It was decided, all in one sitting, that no matter what this child would know it's parents, that Jeremy and I would stick together to raise this child, and that I would finish school. I found it comforting to know that I would always be able to call on Jeremy if I needed anything. I made one thing clear, that while we might stick together, I did not want this child to be the reason that Jeremy stuck around if he didn't want to. I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay. He said that he was in this, whether he wanted to be or not. He had helped make this child, he would be there to help raise this child. Katie opening the door to announce lunch startled me, but I was glad that it was Katie and not her parents.

Katie had made spaghetti, which smelled delicious. If it was one thing she was good at it was cooking. Places had been set, everything looked so fancy… I think she was still trying to cheer me up.

"You know you're one of my best friends and that I love you, but you do know you don't have to try and cheer me up anymore, right?" I asked after looking at everything.

"Yes, this is to… celebrate… sort of, I mean, I know this isn't the greatest timing and all but I was still hoping to make it a happy time, ya know?" she responded as she dished out spaghetti, salad, and buttered bread to everyone.

"I get it," my shy smile getting the best of me, "thank you."

"So did you guys have a good talk?"

I looked at Jeremy and smiled, "yeah, we did." We sat there enjoying the meal, until I thought it best that Jeremy and I go. I quickly rolled my sleeping bag and changed. I felt a little gross since I hadn't taken a shower, but I didn't want to hang around Katie's any longer that day, I wanted to spend some more alone time with Jeremy talking about what we would do.

Jeremy drove me to his house in silence. Nobody was at his house that day so it was nice and quiet. Nothing to worry about either, I was already pregnant after all.

"So, anything I can get you? A blanket, maybe a pillow, milk?" he asked.

"What, are you trying to get me to spend the night?" I joked.

"Well not that I think it's a bad idea, but I just thought you might need some rest… since you're doing everything for two now…" he came closer to me and felt the urge to just lay in his arms.

"I have been doing this for a little while now you know, I just wasn't positive until now." I looked up at him wishing I could just stay there forever.

"I know, but still…" he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I found myself fighting the urge to cry, mostly cuz I didn't really know why I wanted to cry. `Must be hormones,' I thought.

After a moment I couldn't take it anymore, as much as I wanted to stay, I had to ask, "um.. ya know I feel kind of gross since I didn't get my shower this morning… and… I was hoping…"

"I'll be right out here when you're ready to talk… or I could just go in there with you," he said suggestively. I was glad to see that even through all this he still tried to get me to smile. He was the only one who ever managed to make any suggestive comment and get me to smile instead of try to throw something.

"Hmm… tempting, but I kind of want some time to think, you know, on my own, but I'll fill you in once I'm done," I smiled up at him sweetly. I gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek, then grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom. I was turning on the water when he came in with towels.

"I thought you could use some clean ones," he told me as he laid them down on the counter.

"Thank you," came my response as I went over to him. I stepped closer to him and took hold of his hand. "Thank you for putting up with all of this."

"I told you, I'm a part of this, I'm in and you can't get rid of me." Jeremy held me for a minute and then left me to take my shower. I could tell that he didn't want to leave, but I appreciated that he let me have my space. I really wanted to take a minute and think about everything, without anyone else around.

I stepped into the shower letting the warm water flow over me washing away everything. I grabbed some soap and started washing up, while thinking of names and how I would care for this child. I was going to have to get a job, hopefully something that I would be able to do while caring for a baby, but since that most likely wouldn't work out I would have to look for something that would pay the bills…. Oh boy, there were going to be a lot of bills. I found myself thinking about how much this was going to change my life. The more I thought about it the greater the pressure got, and soon I found myself crying. I fell to my knees and laid against the side of the tub as I let the tears flow. Jeremy must have heard my fall for he came rushing in through the door that I'd neglected to lock. He pulled back the curtain to see that I was ok, finding me in tears he lifted me up and held me close.

"Shh… it's ok, tell me what's wrong," he soothed. I held on tight as I told him that I was worried about how we were going to care for this child, how I wasn't sure what we would do, how I wasn't sure what I would do. He told me not to worry about it now, we would figure out something. After a bit a felt better and proceeded to finish my shower. Jeremy stayed and I didn't mind, I had been so upset it was rather nice to know that someone was so close. I finished my shower and got dressed, when I was done Jeremy took my hand and we went to his room where he held me close while we talked.

"So, what's next on the agenda?" he asked me while I sat close to him.

"I guess, we tell my parents… and your parents…" I said quietly.

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That's all for now, hope you guys enjoyed the update…