Fan Fiction ❯ Life Will Go On ❯ One-Shot

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Star Wars. Qui-Gon to Tahl, Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan to Anakin, Anakin to Padmé, Obi-Wan to Luke. A great circle of changing relationships through the endless march of time. Losses, gains, triumphs and pains. Slash. Het. One shot.

Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 11.10.2005 | Updated On: 11.10.2005 | Pages: 10 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 526 | Status: Completed

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars nor do I own Chris Isaak's song. They were both just inspiration for which I am eternally grateful.

Warning: If you have not read all of Jedi Apprentice, and/or seen Revenge of the Sith, there are spoilers.

Summary: Qui-Gon to Tahl, Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan to Anakin, Anakin to Padmé, Obi-Wan to Luke. A great circle of changing relationships through the endless march of time. Losses, gains, triumphs and pains. Slash. Het. One shot.

Note: This story contains relationships of heterosexual, homosexual, and entirely platonic natures.

Life Will Go On - Chris Isaak

Broken skies, heartaches that flowers won't mend

Say goodbye knowing that this is the end

Tender dreams, shadows fall

Love too sweet, to recall

Dry your eyes, face the dawn

Life will go on

All day long thought that we still had a chance

Letting go, this is the end of romance

Broken hearts find your way

Make it through just this day

Face the world on your own

Life will go on, life will go on

There'll be blue skies, every true love

Someday I'll hold you again

They'll be blue skies in a better world, darlin'

Tender dreams, shadows fall

Love too sweet, to recall

Dry your eyes, face the dawn

Life will go on, life will go on

Broken heart, find your way

Make it through just this day

Face the world on your own

Life will go on

Gazing at Tahl, Qui-Gon knew he loved her.

Watching her die, Qui-Gon thought he had died too.

But his life went on.

Every day dragged on...

Facing the world all alone was so hard...

He stood out on one of the many balconies protruding from the Jedi Temple.

He eyed the sunrise dispassionately. As the shadows shifted his thoughts were far and to the past.

'This is the end for me, dear friend.'

She knew it was the end, but as always she didn't say goodbye or give Qui-Gon a chance to.

Qui-Gon felt his heart clench and his head drooped, face contorting with pain, just barely held in.

Obi-Wan stepped up beside him, holding his tray. A warm kettle and a cup sat on it.

'Qui-Gon,' the boy whispered, feeling his Master's pain, 'here.'

Qui-Gon felt the tiny teacup pressed into his large hand. He felt the thin shell heat as Obi-Wan poured the steaming water into it. The pleasant fragrance of the tea met Qui-Gon's nose but he found himself unable to appreciate it.

'Thank you,' Qui-Gon murmured, already contemplating dumping the contents over the railing as soon as Obi-Wan left.

The boy, his Padawan, lingered for a moment. He wanted to speak, yet was unable. Eventually, his shoulders dropped in defeat and he turned.

Once more alone, Qui-Gon idly swished the dark contents of the cup, with small flicks of his wrist. His eyes followed the small spiral that formed in the center. The steam made the tips of his long hair curl, and with jerk of his wrist, too hard, some of the hot liquid splashed his hand.

His dull gaze went to the place, a small patch of skin now turning red. After a moment of just looking he lifted the small cup, tilting all it's scalding contents into his mouth and swallowing. The burn negated his pain and now he just felt horribly, blissfully numb.

Months. Month after month after month...

Life was going on.

Obi-Wan felt despair permeate him...

He was restless, and he had no one he felt he could talk to.

All he had was that brief time in the morning where he had purpose, where he brought Qui-Gon that tea.

'Qui-Gon,' he whispered upon finding the man, this time he was in a far corner of the Lake Room, 'here.'

As usual, Qui-Gon didn't turn. Obi-Wan just pressed the cup into his hand and poured the tea in.

He waited a bit longer that day because Qui-Gon said nothing. Usually Qui-Gon at least pretended to be grateful...

Obi-Wan felt his own grief rise in him. He grieved for Tahl... and he was beginning to fear he would lose his Master as well.

As he watched, Qui-Gon lifted the steaming liquid to his lips and drank a little, letting it run it's burning course over his tongue. He still said nothing as Obi-Wan turned away, a general air of defeat coming from him.

'Obi-Wan...' the elder called after him, turning to face his Padawan, 'Obi-Wan, I am sorry.'

'For what, Master?' the boy wondered, feeling very confused. Qui-Gon let the cup drop, then a moment later the tray Obi-Wan was holding rattled to the ground, the kettle tipping to the side and its contents spilling onto the grass.

'Just know that I am,' Qui-Gon whispered, embracing Obi-Wan fiercely.

Gazing at Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon knew he loved him.

Watching him smile, Qui-Gon thought he knew life.

Life had gone on.

Obi-Wan stood out on an outcropping, watching the Roon sunrise with avid interest. Qui-Gon approached his younger lover surreptitiously from behind.

'Obi-Wan,' he whispered into the teenager's ear, causing him to jump, 'here.'

He pressed something soft into Obi-Wan's 'saber calloused hands.

Obi-Wan looked down at the riot of colors he now held. They were flowers; he felt his face begin to tint. Qui-Gon wrapped his long arms around the other's waist, resting his bearded chin on his Padawan's shoulder.

'Thank you,' Obi-Wan murmured, contemplating the gift and everything it meant. Some other man may have felt insulted. May have thrown them back into Qui-Gon's face, declaring he was not a woman. Obi-Wan accepted them, because they were beautiful, they were alive, and Qui-Gon had given them to him.

'Remember this,' Qui-Gon breathed warmly into his ear, 'for a time when you have no other bright memories, remember this.'

Obi-Wan leaned back comfortably into the tall man's embrace, eyes going back to the sunrise. Golden light streamed over the weald before them.

'Yes,' he nodded, closing his eyes, feeling the warmth of the rising sun on his face and embedding this memory into his mind.

Gazing at Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan knew he loved him.

Watching all the light fade from Qui-Gon's eyes, Obi-Wan felt his insides shrivel up and die.

Life had to go on.

Once again in a time of grief he had a singular purpose.

Anakin. He had to train Anakin for Qui-Gon.

He often found himself in the same deep depression that he had struggled to watch Qui-Gon suffer through...

Little Ani usually found him at the window of their home in the mornings, staring out the window, trying to feel something as he watched the sun rise in its glory of colors.

He consistently found nothing. He always turned to Anakin, a fake smile on his face and offered to make breakfast.

Gazing at Anakin, Obi-Wan wasn't sure what he felt.

Watching him grow, Obi-Wan felt affection, he felt exasperation, depression, exhaustion, and protection...

Life continued on.

He felt empty, he felt lonely.

Numb, horribly, but not blissfully, numb.

'I know this! Anakin growled angrily at him, 'I know these forms a hundred times over, Obi-Wan! Why won't you let me advance? Why are you holding me back?'

At the same time, Obi-Wan felt nothing and felt hurt by the teenager's words. Always his feelings contradicted.

'Because you still have not learned the lesson, Anakin.'

'What is the lesson, Obi-Wan?!' the boy demanded.

'First you must learn to do as you are told...' Obi-Wan sighed, his gaze leaving Anakin and going to the window, looking at the blue sky without really seeing it.

'Obi-Wan!' Anakin raged.

'Just do it, Padawan.'

Ani growled again, turning his back to Obi-Wan and beginning the drill anew.

Months. Month after month after month...

Life kept going on.

Ani felt desperation permeate him.

He was restless, he was fevered.

But the fever in his blood, what was it?

He felt he had no one he could talk to...

Obi-Wan was so infuriating and enchanting, elfin Padmé simply wouldn't understand.

She would console him as badly as she had on Tatooine.

'Padawan, I am concerned,' Obi-Wan told him.

'You always are,' Anakin sniffed irritably.

'Talk to me?' his Master requested.

'No!" the young man declared vehemently. His heated answer made him unready for Obi-Wan's gentle reply.

'Please.'

Anakin's eyes widened and he looked at Obi-Wan. He really looked at his Master for the first time in years. The pained, harrowed look on his friend's face...

'I'm confused,' Anakin confessed, dropping onto his sleep-couch. 'So confused...'

'Let me help, Anakin,' Obi-Wan said softly, sitting down next to him, 'let me guide you. It is why I am here.'

Ani's head dropped down into his hands. 'I don't know if you can, Master.'

Obi-Wan put his arms around his Padawan, hugging him tenderly.

'Let me try.' Was all Obi-Wan asked.

Gazing at Anakin, Padmé knew she loved him.

Watching his face light up in a rare moment of true happiness, she felt she had all she need in life.

Life went on.

Every day something new, something wonderful, or so she told herself.

Every day Ani changed.

Every day she became more distressed.

Every day Obi-Wan looked more haggard.

Every night, Padmé stood at her window, hoping for Anakin to come to her. She stood long after the shadows had fallen. When there was nothing but pitch darkness in her apartment, she left the window and went to bed.

Every morning she rose again, watching the sunrise, tears streaming down her face as she hoped Anakin would come back to her.

Months. Month after month after month...

The war kept going on. Death continued to rise. Life kept progressing along...

Obi-Wan felt helplessness begin to take over.

The Anakin he had raised was gone. The Chosen One that Qui-Gon had seen had vanished.

Qui-Gon's last legacy would always be this dark creature...

Not even a memory of bursting flowers could help Obi-Wan when he looked upon the creature that was Anakin.

Battles, fighting, they sang in Anakin's blood and were all he cared about.

Even when they were alone things were rough, brutal. Taking not giving. Battering, teeth clacking kisses, and then promises of love. So empty...

Affairs that weren't so secret, babies of obvious lineage. Darkness of a definite sort.

Broken hearts and eyes turned blind.

But each day, Obi-Wan thought he might still have a chance.

Almost unable to recall just how sweet all had been with Qui-Gon, he remembers his promise. A dying man's wish and he had promised.

Anakin could be helped yet, or so he told himself.

Gazing at Obi-Wan, Anakin knew he execrated him.

Watching his Master's heart break, Anakin felt a sadistic pleasure.

Life shambled on.

Every day was agony...

But facing the world alone was the only way.

He didn't need help! He needed Padmé. Obi-Wan was a fool to think it was any other way.

Foolish Obi-Wan...!

'I loved you...' choking and turning away.

Anakin had always known Obi-Wan would eventually turn his back on him! He had always known! The actual moment brought more rage onto Anakin though.

'I hate you.'

He did! He hated Obi-Wan! Hated him!

The monster roiled and frothed with acrimony.

Obi-Wan did not say goodbye to him, but they both knew it was the end.

Life would go on for others, but for them, shadow had fallen.

Gazing out into the desert, Obi-Wan knew he was, once again, on his own.

Life would not end.

He had no purpose this time. All he had was a vague feeling of Qui-Gon, the almost imperceptible scent of flowers, and the sunrise.

Each day he watched the gush of colors glitter over the sand, taunting him with its ritual.

That bright ball of fire was his enemy, bringing with it each time the blue skies of day.

The glass was not just half empty, it was nearly forsaken altogether.

Months! Month after month after month...

'Remember it,' the gentle blue manes requested of him, 'for a time when you have no other bright memories, remember it.'

The sun warmed Obi-Wan's face just as it had. He felt his heart lighten and an individual purpose filled him once more.

Life would persist on.

He would ensure that for the boy mere miles away.

A bittersweet tenderness at the sight of Luke. So much of the history he had watched unfold... So much of the future he would help to shape.

The boy, the girl, the smuggler...their way would lead to the dark center of two Jedi's biggest mistakes, but Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were confident that they were shining brightly enough to right the world once more.

In the deep of space there were no blue skies or dawn to face... but Obi-Wan still left his desert domicile to offer guidance to a young Skywalker once more.

Gazing at Obi-Wan, Luke knew what was going to happen.

Watching old Ben's final moment, Luke felt injured and lost.

But his life had to go on!

Every day that rushed by he faced, not alone, but with his dear friends.

Palpatine's looming shadow, Vader's offers...

But always Ben's sacrifice kept him from them.

Yoda's stern guidance, Leia's loving support, and Han's rough and tumble help aided Luke until the end.

Then only a father's regret mattered.

The sadistic pleasures that Anakin had once enjoyed at Obi-Wan's heartbreak, then demise, had turned into poison knives.

The boy who looked like him and the girl who looked like her... Faces of the past now haunted him.

A fever he would never quell, having killed his own remedies...

Only repentance was left to him, and even that was acerbic yet saccharine.

In the deeps of his mind, Anakin found himself. The better world he had so looked for... it had eluded him, because he had already possessed it.

The crystal blue skies of Naboo, of Tatooine, and of Coruscant.

The sunrises that he had eclipsed with his own darkness...

The outpour of smell and color he had been unable to appreciate what for his own taint.

Two loves he could have had. Tenderness he could have shared.

He hadn't had to be alone.

Revelations that came to late, all parties involved now dead.

But attrition came just in time, as his soul was a flare of light, leaving darkness fleeing in its wake.

Joining the others of the old republic that he had thought to save, but instead destroyed.

He and Luke whispered goodbyes, knowing that was the end.

Knowing life will go on.