Fan Fiction ❯ LoK with badgers ❯ Fall Of A Badger ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: The author owns nothing so bugger off and no suing

Intro

The Sanctuary of the Clans. Kain Sits on his throne, the Tube Reaver sits beside him. In front of his throne stand five of his Badger Son's in a circle. The Doors open and in walks Raziel, Kain's first Born and right paw Badger. All of a sudden a voice (which sounds worryingly like Raziel's) starts doing a voice over.

Voice over: Kain is deified the clans tell tales of him, Few know the truth he was a Squirrel once as were we all. However his content for Squirrel's drove him to create me and my brethren. I am Raziel 1st born of his Badger lieutenants I stood with Kain and my brethren at the dawn of Evil Badger'R'Us. I have served him a millennium. Over time he became less Squirrel and more...Fed up. Kain would enter the state of change and emerge with a new gift (usually some tacky key chain or fridge magnet). Some time after the master our evolution would follow. Until I had the Honour of Surpassing my lord.

Bear: erm what's a squirrel?

Chris: look at your colouring book it's the purple thing with the bushy tail!

Bear: O.O so that's what they look like!

Chris: yes now be quiet and let me get on with it.

Raziel walks into the centre of his brethren and stands on his hind legs in front of kain. An old Hanky covers the end of his nose. Kain Stands and walks over to Raziel.

Kain: Fear the tube.

Chris: (silently to kain) you're supposed to ask him to reveal his evolution.

Kain: (to Chris) oh BUGGER sorry. (To Raziel) tell me my son why do you wear that hanky over your snout.

Raziel looks at kain and Removes the hanky. The brethren and Kain Gasp, Chris gets out the bear prod, Bear plays pokemon and a squirrel in a near by village dies of stupidity but that's another story. Revealed by the removal of the hanky wee see that Raziel has a damp snout (u know like a dog). In a jealous rage Kain Takes Raziel's hanky and tears it in two before hitting Raziel over the head with the Tube Reaver and knocking him out.

Wee see a tall thick tree near the top there is a long wide branch, on it stand kain and the lieutenants. Raiels body is limp, his torn hanky has been stapled to his back like wings (bears Note: we don't know why they've been stapled to his back so don't ask). Turel and Dumah hold up Raziel's limp body and wee see Kain by the hole in the Tree.

Kain: where the hell is Zephon? That little good for nothing, you'd think he'd be on time for just once is his pathetic existence. I mean in my day (starts ranting about his own child hood for a long time)

Raziel: oh Bloody hell Cast me out for gods sakes let me escape this nightmare.

Dumah & Turel: ok if u insist (throw Raziel off the tree)

Raziel: (voice trailing off) I was kidding.

Voice over: I fell for ages, well it seemed like ages I have a short attention span, u know kain always said that (gets interrupted)

Chris: Get on with it

Bear: Yes Get on with it

A Random Squirrel Army: GET ON WITH IT

Voice over: Jeez ok. Finally I landed on my head (B/N: no damage done then) and every thing got wet (ill tell u why in a minute).

?????: Raziel u are worthy!

Raziel: huh u say something pal I didn't hear you (gets out cotton bud and cleans his ear)

Elder Dog (formerly ?????): Yes I said, Raziel You are worthy, now get out of my bloody water bowl.

Raziel: oh well that would explain the wet ness (see told you I'd tell you in a moment)

Elder Dog: well yes and no, I was busy peeing in there when u dropped in. (begins to blush)

Raziel: Bugger

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Chris: well what ya think guys. Is it worth a review.

Bear: (on hands and knees with a pathetic look on his face) please do because five reviews gets me a fish.

Chris: and if you don't review bear shall get intimately acquainted with this (brings out Bear Prod) MOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!