Fan Fiction ❯ Longing to Belong ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 3 )

Several hours later, after an enjoyable good morning for both, a pair of women snuggled together underneath the sheets of Amarra's bed. The owner of said bed was leaning back against Riasha, who was gently tracing circles on the smiling woman's stomach with one hand, and tracing slow lines up and down one of Amarra's arms with her free one. "Ri?"

"Yes?"

"Do you do this every trip? And what was wrong with mother? She was way too complacent yesterday…and after everyone of your trips, to be honest."

Riasha chuckled softly, the vibrations in her torso causing a caressing sensation in Amarra's back that seemed to excite and soothe her at the same time, before pressing a soft kiss to a cheek. "I told Mithua that you would notice that something was wrong with Michelle, but he wouldn't listen to anything that wasn't saying that not even you would be able to notice anything unusual with her. It's a spell that he casts on her; it makes her more open to his suggestions and commands, even ones that under normal conditions would have never even been considered for a second before being rejected."

"Which means that, except for my involvement, this wasn't the first time that this has happened." Amarra mused, thoughtfully, before casting a quick look over her shoulder at Riasha. "This was the first time that I was involved in this…wasn't it?"

"Of course." Came the quick reply, as Riasha started to stroke her fingers through Amarra's hair slowly. "I've wanted to invite you in on our little playtime, but Mithua and Kajrann have always been happy with just Michelle before."

Twisting slightly to face Riasha, Amarra snuggled against her with a soft sigh. Her arms slipped around the Ranger's back, and her head made itself comfortable against her chest, as she settled herself comfortably against the other woman in this new position. Riasha, for her part, merely wrapped her arms around tighter around the woman she was holding, and the pair laid there in content silence for several moments.

`We'll be leaving today." Riasha finally said, not wanting to but wanting to let the other know what the plan for the day was in advance. "This was probably our "lounging day" on the way to the nest that we just enjoyed, if I know Mithua as well as I like to think I do."

He'll feed her some tale to explain what happened yesterday, won't he?" Amarra asked, curiously, before asking the question that had been quietly bothering her since she learned of the spell affecting her mother. "Will he be using a spell on me to make me forget what really happened yesterday, and replace it with a false memory as well?"

"No, because I asked him not to." Riasha replied, with a slight blush of color on her cheeks. "I wanted you to be able to remember this time, as it really happened, at a later time."

Grinning up at the other woman, Amarra offered her a whispered. "Thank you, Ri. Will you stop by for a visit when you return to town after this trip of yours?"

"I'll try, but Mithua gets to make the decisions on things like that. It depends on how much of a hurry to get to the next destination that he has planned when we get back here."

Amarra merely nodded her head slightly as she snuggled against her lover some more, content to spend their last remaining time together in quiet cuddling. And, apparently, Riasha felt the same, as she merely tightened her hold on the other woman and subtly shifted herself into a more comfortable position. And thus was how the last few hours that the couple had together this day was spent.

A fully dressed Riasha stood at the door to Amarra's room, with its owner standing a few steps in front of her on the interior side of the door. "You be safe out there." Amarra told her, in a firmer tone than Riasha could ever remember hearing from her, as the Ranger finished strapping her quiver onto her back.

"I'll do my best." She promised softly, as Amarra pulled her in for one final hug. "Don't watch me leave."

"Why?" Amarra asked, pulling back in their embrace slightly but not out of it entirely.

"I don't want you to watch me leave on a prolonged trip. Just think of me as being out and bout in town until I return."

"Okay." Came the soft agreement, with a slight nod of her head. "I expect you to do your best to come and see me when you do finally get done with being out and about, though."

"I promise." She quickly, quietly, promised, before tilting her head to press a lingering kiss to Amarra's lips. Straightening her head, and slowly turning around, she descended the steps to the first floor of the building at a reluctant pace.

Amarra returned to her still messed up bed, and busied herself with the task of straightening up its sheets. Doing so brought back memories of just how it had gotten into that state in the first place, and made her all the more anxious for her return even when she hadn't even left yet. The shutting of the house's front door made her pause for a few long moments, and for those moments the urge to run to the window and watch the quartet leave despite her promise otherwise, was nearly overwhelming.

But the urge finally passed on, though the sheet that she was holding onto was the recipient of a knuckle-whitening grasp by that time. Letting the sheet fall onto the bed, she let out a long sight as she let herself slump down onto it tiredly. The thought of Riasha going somewhere dangerous was, suddenly, a lot more worrying than it had been any of the other times that such a departure had occurred.

"But why? She thought, in confusion, as she nuzzled herself against the pillow that still faintly smelled of the two of them together. "Why does she suddenly mean so much to me now?"

While the archer had spent time with her in the past, despite her mother's thoughts on the matter, she never really felt close to Riasha. Not only was Riasha's visits only when the constantly together trio came to get Michelle for a trip, but they usually never spent much time at the house before or after such a trip. And, even on the rare occasions that they did spend any length of time at the McClay residence, none of them spent any time with Amarra where the other people of the city could spot them doing so.

And that included Riasha.

But Riasha had always seemed uncomfortable being alone with Amarra, on top of her desire to not be seen in public with her, unlike her two male companions. Mithua and Kajrann were indifferent about either being alone with her or in the presence of at least a third person. Or if she was covered by robe and clothing or just her tunic and breeches at the time.

It had seemed obvious to her that the time she got from Riasha was simply out of pity, and that she was really as uncomfortable around a Tiefling as most of the other people that Amarra had met. And, then, yesterday had happened and completely threw everything she had been certain about out the window. Now she wasn't even certain of what she was feeling herself, much less how someone else was feeling about her.

Rolling over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling of her room, Amarra laced her fingers together underneath her head as she let herself seriously think about what had just happened for the first time. She stared up at the plain ceiling for a long time, as numerous ideas paraded themselves through her mind, trying to come to grips with the sudden changes in her life, in the changes in her feelings towards Riasha. But the answer stubbornly remained just out of her reach, hiding behind memories of the events that had caused this uncertainty in her, memories that refused to simply allow themselves to fade away into forgetfulness.

"Could that be it? Could it simply be her being the first person to touch me like that is the reason for these strong new feelings for her? Will they simply fade away in time, until things are once again like they had been before this happened? Can the return to have they had once been at all?"

All these questions were running through the head of the only person in the building, as she continued to stare up at a ceiling of peeling paint in silence. The quiet ceiling that refused to give her the answers that she so desperately wanted, and yet was unable to find for herself. Closing her eyes with a grown, she finally admitted to herself that this wasn't a problem that she could handle on her own.

"I'll talk to Kiarrone." Amarra finally decided, as she pulled herself out of her bed and onto her feet. "She'll be able to help me out."

If someone had asked her two days ago about her relationship with Kiarrone, Amarra would have easily labeled the skilled tailor as her only, and thus naturally best, friend. And while her confidence in Kiarrone's being her best friend was unwavering, she wasn't so sure at the tailor's claim of being her only friend anymore. That was one of the things that she was hoping that her visit to Kiarrone would clear up for her, if one who was at best a casual acquaintance could suddenly come to be a trusted friend, maybe more, so suddenly.

Grabbing up her robe from where she'd tossed it two days ago, she draped it around her body with a soft sigh of distaste. She really hated having to wear this thing out in public, but the last thing that she needed was to get in trouble for going out without it on. Not when she probably was still supposed to be grounded in her room, and thus not venturing out into the city at all, since the punishment hadn't been retracted before the group had left.

Smoothing the fabric down once completely fastened, she climbed the staircase leading down to the ground floor of the building slowly. Stepping out onto the ground floor of the building, she automatically cast her gaze into the kitchen area of the floor. And, despite knowing that they were long gone, felt a pang of loneliness at the sight of the empty room.

It only magnified the knowledge that she was all alone in a house that had held five people within itself only a short time ago. If was enough to speed up her pace all the way to the store of Kiarrone: Kiarrone's Krafts.

Walking up on the combination of store and home, Amarra felt strangely apprehensive about what she was thinking about confiding to Kiarrone. While close in age to each other, Kiarrone was far more experienced about the world of the pair. Having to support herself from a young age, due to the sudden death of her parents, certainly helped to give her that extra knowledge of the real nature of the world.

Kiarrone had almost gotten married last year, before the would-be husband decided that he wasn't ready for the commitment that it would involve. Amarra had never even been kissed before yesterday, and had all of that happen to her with practically no warning at all. She simply had no idea how her friend would react to the news that she so desperately needed to tell someone, or what advice that Kiarrone would give her in her moment of need.

And, unlike most of the people that Amarra knew, Kiarrone's opinion was actually one that mattered. The disproval of anyone would hurt, as she had dreams of somehow gaining at least some measure of approval from them, but not as much as if Kiarrone was disproving of what had happened. In all of her life, Kiarrone had been the only person that Amarra could really count on to be on her side, in both the best of times and the worst of times.

Two doors led into the building that held Kiarrone's Krafts, one up front and another in its rear. Noting a closed sign hanging on the door leading into the shop, the front door of the building, she slipped around to the rear door. Pushing this door open, the one that led to the living area of the building, she found herself staring at the business end of a loaded crossbow.

"Girl might start to think that you don't like to see her anymore if you keep pointing loaded weapons at her like that, Kiarrone." Amarra told the seated tailor, with a small grin despite the weapon being aimed at her chest.

"You should be worrying more about what would have happened if I'd been feeling jumpy when you'd barged in." Came the quick response, though with a small smile of her own. "It'ld be a shame to ruin such a nicely-made robe with a crossbow bolt and a blood stain."

"Like you would actually shoot me. I'm the only customer you got that lets you let your creative side out to play at all when doing orders." Amarra shot back, with a mocking snort. "It's back to plain tunics, breeches, and dresses if you kill me, and you know it."

The tailor's response was to merely lower her weapon with a fake look of disappointment. "Guess that means that I can't shoot you, Amarra. Yet, at least."

"You're too kind." Was the Tiefling's sarcastic response, as she finally stepped into the building itself. "Giving me a stay of execution until you no longer need my services."

Kiarrone gave her shoulders a shrug, but said nothing, and the pair looked at each other in solemn silence for a few short moments before bursting out in loud laughter. Kiarrone gestured at a chair near hers in a silent invitation to sit, which a still laughing Amarra was quick to take. Once she had been seated, and the laughter died away, though, the now seated visitor could feel her nerves start to return with a vengence.

"What brings you by? So late after your mother's usual parade through town on her way to another hunting trip, at least. I'd expected you to show up hours ago."

Amarra's head jerked around to look at Kiarrone, an unreadable look on her face for several long moments. Then there was a look of realization that spread across it, and Kiarrone could almost swear that her tanned friend was blushing as she answered. "I had something that I needed to think about around the time that they left. It required immediate consideration."

"Did you come up with a suitable response?" Kiarrone asked, chuckling softly at the guilty look that flashed across the other woman's face briefly. "You was so concerned about the problem that you forgot you usually stay here while your mother is gone on a hunting trip and really only came to get some advice on this problem of yours. Eh?"

With a nervous chuckle, and scratching the back of her head sheepishly, she could only nod her agreement to Kiarrone's questions. "You was the only person that I really felt like I could turn to." She admitted, softly, hesitantly.

"It's okay. I like your being able to turn to me for help." Kiarrone admitted herself, before grinning mischievously at her friend. "So what does my little Amarra need advice on? Jobs? Money? Independence? Men?"

The bright blush that spread across Amarra's cheeks earned her a look of surprise from the questioning woman. "Just what did happen to you since you stopped by my store? You've never responded to my teasing like that before."

Glancing down at the rug-covered floor, taking a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm her nerves, Amarra's voice was almost too soft to be heard when she finally replied. "I'll tell you that if you really want to know. But I want you to promise not to hate me for it…. Please?"

There was such a plaintive tone of pleading in Amarra's voice that it froze Kiarrone in place for a few moments, before she quickly responded with. "I promise." And there was more behind her promise than just a desire to hear the details of whatever had happened to her friend to put her in such a state. "Please tell me what's wrong…what I can do to help you."

"Did you see my mother's friends come into town yesterday? Notice that they entered yesterday, but only left today?"

"I noticed; that was very peculiar for them. What's that got to do with your problem, though?"

"I was still grounded in my room when they came by, and decided to sneak downstairs to try and grab some food." Amarra answered, blushing again at the memories of what her desire to get something to eat caused to happen. "But, when I got down the stairs, I found that Mithua and Kajrann were…uh…taking liberties with my mother's body in the kitchen."

That got a startled look from Kiarrone, and the questions of. "They were? And you're wanting me to explain why they were doing that?"

"No. I was startled into immobility at the sight, and Riasha had apparently been watching the house's staircase. She surprised me and uh…touched me… and, uh…ah…" Amarra's voice faded off into inaudible mumbling at that point, a bright red splash of color spread across her cheeks as her mind supplied her with images of just what had been done to her body by Riasha and, later, Kajrann.

"And you want to know if I think that's okay? For another woman to have touched you in such an intimate way? And, apparently, in a way that you liked?"

"Partially." Amarra acknowledged, blush lightening but not going away. "I was so concerned about Riasha's safety, when they left today, that it surprised me. I've never worried about her, or even my mother, this much before. But I wasn't even this concerned about Kajrann today, and…Eep!" Amarra's voice, after her short squeak of shock, died a quick death when she realized what she had almost started to tell her friend. But it was apparent, from the bugged-eye look that she was getting from Kiarrone, that she'd said enough for the tailor to fill in what hadn't been said.

"Kajrann, too? Someone had herself a very busy day yesterday." The tailor finally said, though the lightness in her voice was so forced that even Amarra could pick up on it.

"I didn't mean to." The violet-haired woman said, extremely softly, as she bent her head to look at her fidgeting hands on her lap. "It just happened, one after the other, to me."

Kiarrone could hear the sadness in her friend's voice, and knew that Amarra thought that she was judging her like everyone else. Leaving the crossbow lying on the floor, she moved to kneel in front of her friend and gathered her up into a soft, but firm, embrace. Amarra resisted briefly, momentarily, before slumping against the tailor's body as she started to softly cry against her shoulder.

Letting her friend cry herself out, wetting the crimson there with her salty tears, Kiarrone murmured soft words of encouragement into Amarra's ear even as the crying woman choked out apologies and thank yous and various other things that were too muffled to be understood. Kiarrone wasn't really paying a lot of attention to just what Amarra was saying, just as Amarra wasn't to what Kiarrone was saying, and gently tugged her crying friend onto her lap from her chair. Rocking herself back and forth slowly had the effect of rocking the crying form resting on her lap, as the flow of tears slowly came to a stop.

Amarra found herself being held on her friend's lap, and let herself snuggle against the comforting warmth Kiarrone offered gently. Those deceptively strong arms tightened around her, and she sighed softly in response to the feeling of safety that it evoked in her as she settled her head on the other woman's shoulder. Her own arms slipped around the other woman's waist, as she turned the comforting embrace into a hug, murmuring, "Thank you", as she did so.

"You're welcome." Kiarrone replied automatically, sitting stiff as she felt the young woman sitting on her lap slowly snuggle up against her. She turned her head slightly to look at Amarra, and found herself looking at a head of violet hair and a large black robe resting against her shoulder/chest and lap respectively.

"Are you disappointed in me, Ki?" Amarra asked, glancing up at the woman whose lap was currently her chair through her bangs. She made no move to pull away from the gentle embrace, though, content to stay right where she was for the time being.

"Never." Kiarrone promised softly, hugging Amarra tightly for a brief instant. "You didn't know that it could feel so good to do that with someone…your surprise is only natural."

"Thank you." Amarra repeated, with a sigh of happiness at having not lost her friend over this. "But what about my other problem?"

"Riasha was the first person to do a lot of these things to you, and even what happened with Kajrann was thanks to her. Your first is always going to be a very special person to you, regardless of any other feelings that you might have for her. You don't suddenly love her, if you didn't before, but there will always be a special place for her in your heart nevertheless because she was your first."

"So I'm not suddenly in love with her? It's just that she's more special than she had been to me because of her being the first to be so…physically intimate with me?"

"Essentially, yes. Unfortunately, however, you're the only person that can really tell you the answer to the question of how you really feel about Riasha."

"Thank you, Ki." Amarra whispered, lips turning up in a small smile as she added. "You're always so good at helping me out whenever I need it."

"But I didn't do a whole lot this time." Kiarrone protested, weakly, though a part of her felt a burst of pride and happiness at the praise from her quietly lonely friend.

"You were able to explain the confusing change in how I felt for Riasha, even if you couldn't give me a definite answer as to what my new feelings for her really are. I think I can muse my way to the answer now that I better understand the problem, thanks to you."

"You're welcome." Kiarrone managed, as a satisfied smile slid across her lips at the explanation that she'd been given sunk in. "What do you want to do the rest of the day?"

Amarra looked up at Kiarrone, a sly smile tugging at her lips, as she whispered in a soft mock-throaty voice that she'd heard Riasha and Kiarrone use a couple of times in the past. "Oh, I can think of lots of things that we can do, if you're willing to giving them a try? You willing to try them out, Ki, for me?"

A soft blush spread across Kiarrone's face at the implications of that question, even if she had known that the young woman sitting on her lap was teasing her. Amarra's soft giggles at her flustered look snapped her out of her daze, and she mock-glared down at Amarra as she responded. "You're lucky that I don't dump you onto the floor, meanie, for teasing me like that."

"Ah, don't be like that." Amarra whispered up to her, as she reached up to brush a hand over Kiarrone's left cheek gently; it was how the pair always ended their play fights, but the tingle ran through each at the point of contact was something that had never happened before. "You know that I'ld never be mean to you."

They just say there, for several long moments, simply staring into each other's eyes. "Have you thought about my offer to teach you the use of the staff?" Kiarrone finally asked, using the first thought that had come to her mind to break the silence that had settled around them.

"Yeah. I'ld like that, if the offer still stands." Amarra answered, after spending a few moments remembering just what offer that Kiarrone was mentioning, secretly thankful that the uncomfortable-becoming silence had been broken.

"I took the liberty of getting you a staff. Do you want to start now or wait until tomorrow?"

"Let's start now. I'll probably need a lot of practice just to pick up the very basics of what you're trying to teach me." Amarra decided, and slowly stood to her feet. "Is it in my room?"

Kiarrone nodded silently, and Amarra slipped off to the room that was kept ready for her visits by the Lady of the House. Said tailor slumped against the chair that had once held Amarra slightly, panting softly for breath and shivering slight, once her guest had moved out of sight. Finally, though, she managed to calm herself down and clambered to her feet herself.

With a final deep breath, she moved to the cabinet that held her own quarterstaff.

"I hate you." A sweaty Amarra panted out, as she slid down to the floor of Kiarrone's training room amid the clatter of her weapon falling to the floor from her hands. And then she tipped over backwards until she was lying on the wooden floor in a tired sprawl.

"You know you don't mean that." A less breathless, if not less sweaty, Kiarrone chided gently, as she knelt near her friend/first student.

"I should."

"You're the one that agreed to these lessons. I didn't force you to take them."

"I plead insanity on the grounds of hormones haven taken over at that moment." Amarra responded, with a small smile and a tired chuckle.

"Yah, right." Kiarrone snorted, pulling Amarra up to her feet gently. "Go on to your room; I'll bring your supper up to you when it's ready."

"You don't have to do that, Ki."

"I know, but I want to do it. You got pushed really hard today; your body needs time to recover from all you've asked of it in the lesson."

"You're the boss, teach." Amarra said, tiredly, as she stumbled off to what was essentially her personal room in the building. The staff that she'd been practicing with having been relegated to the task of cane for the moment, to keep her on her feet as she slowly made her way to the bed that was silently calling her name.

Kiarrone watched as Amarra walked/stumbled out of the training room, leaning on an end of her own staff once she was out of the other woman's sight and hearing. "I wish." She murmured, cryptically, before leaving the room herself.