Fan Fiction ❯ Lord of the Pants: Part Two ❯ The Return of the Pants!!! ( Chapter 2 )

Yes! It's here! The epic conclusion of- The Lord of the Pants! *crickets chirp* See! The crickets like it!

Cricket: Boo!

Oh shut up! No one asked you!

Cricket: But you just-

*squish* Did you hear something? No, I didn't either. All right! Unlike the previous chapter, this one actually has all the quotes in order- kudos to the wonderful people at seatofkings.net, where I found the script. So, skim through and enjoy, as you relive all the best moments of The Return of the King! Only… disfigured and twisted for my own amusement… *ahem*

Oh, Yami Bakura, sorry that I couldn't put your quote in, but it's for TTT and this is RotK. Erm- ah heck, I'll put it in right here. "Theoden: Last I checked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of these pants." ^^ I aim to please. That was Yami Bakura's, folks!

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Lord of the Pants: The Return of the Pants

Gimli: Well, let's just have his pants and be done with it!

Gandalf: No, he has no pants anymore.

Gollum: Is Smeagol losing his pants?

Gollum: She hungers for sweeter pants- hobbit pants.

Pippin: I saw- Him! I could hear his voice in my pants!

Arwen: What did you see?

Elrond: I looked into your pants and I saw death!

Elrond: Your pants are cold. The life of the Eldar is leaving you!

Gandalf: The enemy is in your pants!

Denethor: For all your subtleties, you have no pants.

Gandalf: You're in the pants of the Steward now. You're going to have to do as you're told!

Denethor: Nor fail to reward that which is given. Fealty with love. Valor with honor. Disloyalty with pants.

Faramir: Since you are robbed of Boromir, I will do what I can in his pants.

Gollum: He took it! I seen him! He's always stuffing his pants when Master's not looking!

Gandalf: Faramir! Your father's will is turned to madness! Do not throw aside your pants so rashly!

Aragorn: Six thousand will not be enough to break the pants of Mordor.

Elrond: The shadow is upon us, Aragorn. The pants have come.

Aragorn: They believe in nothing. They answer to no one!

Elrond: They will answer to the pants of Gondor! (AN: But Gondor has no pants! Gondor needs no pants! ^^ lol PoP)

Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of pants?

Gimli: What kind of army would linger in such pants?

Legolas: The pants are shut. They were made by those who were dead, and the dead keep them. The pants are shut.

Theoden: Little hobbits do not belong in pants.

Ghost King (Lack of a better name): Who enters my domain?

Aragorn: One who will have your pants.

Gimli: They had no pants in life, they have none now in death.

Orc Chief (You know, the scary pink one): Pants- the city is rank with them.

Gandalf: The pants are breached! Pull back!

Theoden: Spears shall be shaken! Pants shall be splintered!

Pippin: Gandalf! Denethor has lost his pants!

Denethor: Set a fire in our pants.

Witchking: Do not come between the Nazgul and his pants.

Witchking: Fool- no pants can kill me.

Eowyn: I have no pants!

(AN: I guess there's kind of a story behind this one. See, back when I first discovered Lord o the Pants, I told my family about it, and we all sat around laughing and coming up with our own lines for TTT and RotK, and my mom came up with this one. So since she beat me to it, this line actually came from my mom. ^^)

Theoden: I go to my fathers, in whose mighty pants I shall not know fear nor shame….

Gorbag (Some Orc): You touch it and I'll stick this blade in your pants!

Sam: Come on, Mr. Frodo. We'd best find you some pants.

Aragorn: Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his pants!

Aragorn: I bid you, stand, pants of the West!

Frodo: I can't recall the taste of food… nor the sound of water… nor the touch of pants…

GIANT SCENE JUMP *boing boing boing* (Wheee!) *splat* (Ow…)

Frodo: Bilbo's story was now over. There would be no more pants for him…

Galadriel (Come on, you knew she was gonna have at least one line): The time has come for the dominion of pants.

Gandalf: Not all pants are evil.

Frodo: Your part in these pants will go on.

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All done! The Lord of the Pants is now ended, unless someone else wants to do the extended editions for me, cause I'm done. But never fear! As Frodo says, your part in these pants will go on. Now go! Be happy! Review! And always love your pants! ^^