Fan Fiction ❯ Love And Lies ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

My name isn't that important. It used to be important... when I had someone to care about me. But my “friends” all forgot about me, my “family” doesn't know I exist anymore. Most people just called me “Chimo” which is short for “Chimmoku.” Chimmoku means silence. I am mostly silent. This story, a story of love and lies, is my story, and it's what happened to me.

 

 

Love and Lies

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Brand new scars she's hidden from you

Open wounds she won't show too

She's hiding her pain

 

Life really bites, you know? And I really hate this world. All I want to do was die at the moment. I really am not all hyped up about life.

 

Crying in the rain

She's hiding her scars

She's been broken again

 

I guess that it kinda started in sophomore year... doesn't matter anymore. I wasn't going to be around much longer.

 

Always holding on by a thread

If it weren't for her you'd be dead

She hardly complains

 

I used to have quite a few friends. I was the emotional pillar for everyone. If someone had a problem and wanted advice, they'd come to me. If someone needed to just talk and have someone listen, they'd come to me. I was the yelling tree, the emotional pillar, whatever you needed. I was always there for everyone. I even saved a couple people's lives.

 

Or tells of her pains

But when she does

You tell her to shut up again

 

Of course, when I tried to say something about how I was feeling, people would look at me like I was crazy. Either that, or they'd tell me to shut up. So I just bottled everything inside.

 

Brand new scars she's hidden from you

Open wounds she won't show too

She's hiding her pain

 

I guess that's how it started. I started hiding from people. Even avoiding them. I started cutting too. I'd come to school with long cuts on my arms and back. Some I even had to bandage.

 

Crying in the rain

She's hiding her scars

She's been broken again

 

It didn't matter though. It was a release for my pain and anger. It made me feel better. It annoyed me when people would ask what happened though.

 

You tell her that you'll listen to her point of view

Just because she listens to you

But when she tries to say a word

 

Of course, that wasn't the worst thing. The worst thing was when people promised to listen, and then never did. They just would blow me off.

 

You pretend like you never heard

The pain in her voice

Or her lack off choice...

 

Or they'd tell me to shut up... Everyone wanted to tell me something, but no one wanted to listen. Not even my parents. I guess that's how I kinda got here...

 

Brand new scars she's hidden from you

Open wounds she won't show too

She's hiding her pain

 

You see, at the moment, I'm in the girls' bathroom. I'm tired of being walked over; I'm tired of being treated like dirt; I'm tired of only being talked to when it's convenient, and I'm tired of no one ever listening.

 

Crying in the rain

She's hiding her scars

She's been broken again

 

In my hands is the end to that, though. It's not like anyone will really miss me. In my hands, I have got a knife. Not just any knife. It's my knife.

 

And when she hurts herself

You ask why

But she never will cry

 

My knife is special. It's the knife I use to cut. My brother, before he left for college, gave it to me on my 13th birthday. It's beautiful, and I love it. It reminds me of him.

 

And she never will say

How much pain she went through today

Cause you don't really care

You're never even there

 

The handle is made of ebony. It's been sanded smooth into the shape of a wolf's head and shoulders. The wolf is howling at an invisible moon and the neck is where you put your hand.

 

Brand new scars she's hidden from you

Open wounds she won't show too

She's hiding her pain

 

The blade is made of silver. It isn't straight either. It's curved in a zig-zag sort of way. Almost like a winding river. I like silver. Silver is beautiful. My knife is sharp and beautiful. It's also the end to my problems.

 

Crying in the rain

She's hiding her scars

She's been broken again

 

I turn the knife towards me and look around. No one else is there. It won't matter; no one will miss me anyway. No one ever noticed when I was crying or when I was hurt. No one ever offered to help me. No one ever listened.

 

Can't you see she's broken inside

Can't you see what she's trying to hide

Can't you see the blood dripping down

Can't you see her shattered glass crown

 

I smile slightly to myself and plunge the knife into my chest. There's a sharp pain as it breaks flesh and muscle; I went in between my ribs. I seemed to have missed my heart, but that doesn't matter. I'll bleed to death before anyone finds me.

 

Brand new scars she'll never show

Open wounds of which you'll never know

Can't you see

Can't you hear me cry...

 

I fall to the floor, a small smile playing on my lips as the blood pools around me. Everything is going black... but I don't care... I close my eyes, the smile still on my face, and see white. Lots of white. Then there, in the center of the white, is a figure. It's the figure of a girl. She's got black hair and eyes. She floats towards me.

 

I guess I'll never show my pain

And you'll just leave me in the rain

 

She frowns at me and crosses her arms.

“It's not your time.” She says. “You still have to find him.”

I look at her confused. “Find who?”

“Derek.”

My eyes widened. I knew whom she meant... but I thought he had been fake...

 

And no one will ever know

That I'm broken again