Fan Fiction ❯ Merry Marriage Murderers ❯ weddings: 0 | funerals: 1 ( Chapter 6 )

[Last time on MMM;]

Ganondorf: Women . . . . women everywhere . . . . *twitches* . . . . . must . . . . escape . . . . must . . . . .

Navi: [appears] HAHA!!!

Ganondorf: GAH!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[somewhere in the desert, still]

Navi: I've got a nice present for you!! [aims and hits Ganondorf in the leg]

Ganondorf: OW!!! WHY YOU LITTLE . . . . uh . . . . . little . . . . . lovely . . . . . cute . . . . . . beautiful . . . .

Navi: (demonic) Heh . . . heh . . . heh!

Ganondorf: . . . . sexy and . . . . absolutely amazing . . . . . cucco!!

Navi: Why thank y . . . what??? [turns around just to see a chicken behind her]

Cucco: Bwaaak?

Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!!

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[Temple of Time]

Link: Erm . . . . Impa, I was searching for Zelda and not for . . . .

Impa: RAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

Malon: [carries a huge chair with Rauru sitting on it] Torture . . . . pain . . . . want to die . . . .

Rauru: Hello! Hello!

Link: o_O

Impa: Rauru, can I talk to you for a second?

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[Hyrule Field, somewhere]

Cucco: [sitting on a tree]

Ganondorf: [kneeling under the tree] Oh dearest chicken!! Your feathers are as golden as the sun! Your beak only speaks the most beautiful words of all!!

Cucco: Bwaaaak???

Navi: Ganondorf!!! HELLOHOO!!! I am the one you're supposed to love!!

Ganondorf: Shut up, light bulb!! I can't hear my precious chicken talking!!

Navi: -___-****

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[Hyrule field, somewhere else]

Zelda+Ruto: [having a girl fight]

Mido: [watches]

Ruto: HE'S MINE!!!

Zelda: MINE!!!

Ruto: MINE!!!

Zelda: MINE!!!

Ruto: MINE!!!

Mido: Ladies, I . . . . ugh . . . .

Zelda+Ruto: WHAT???

Mido: I . . . . I . . . . . [dies]

All: O__O

Voice: My wrath shall come to those who are not willing to find a spouse!! Fare . . . oh, wait! Watch out, king! You're on my list!! And now - FAREWELL!!!

Zelda+Ruto: MIDO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

King of Hyrule: What . . . . what did he just say?

Zelda: Huh?

Ruto: Eh?

KoH: I'm . . . . I'm on his list? But . . . . but I . . . . .

Ruto: You WERE married. But she . . . .

Zelda: Mommy . . . . [sobs]

KoH: OH FUCK!! I'M DOOMED!!

Zelda: And so am I . . .

Ruto: And I . . . I guess . . . .

All: D'OH!!!!

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[somewhere . . . DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!]

FemaleVoice: I knew it would happen someday . . . .

MaleVoice: Uh . . .why?

FV: Erm . . . . I read about it.

MV: Oh.

FV: And it has already started.

MV: Thank God we found a priest.

FV: Yeah. And now it's up to us to safe Hyrule.

MV: But why can't we just let them marry like we did?

FV: Because the voice won't stop there. He'll go on and on. First he'll kills all the singles, then all the virgins, then all the stamp collectors and . . . . .

MV: Oh no!! Not the stamp collectors!!

FV: Yes, the stamp collectors.

MV: We need to find him . . . . or her . . . . . now!!!

FV: You're right. Let's go.

Voices: NADA TO THE RESCUE!!!!

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[somewhere near Kakariko Village]

Ganondorf: (running) Wait for me!!!

Cucco: (running away) Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!!!!

Navi: (flying after them) I hate you!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!

Ganondorf: (Enriquesque) You can run!! You can hide!!! But you can't escape my love!!!

Cucco: BWAAAAHAAAAAK!!!!

Navi: Revenge . . . . yes . . . . still five arrows left . . . . MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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[Temple of Time]

Rauru: Link?

Link: Yes?

Rauru: So you have decided to marry Impa.

Link: Well, I . . . . what????

Impa: GUARDS!!! THE DOOR!!!

[three guards appear and block the exit]

Link: What . . . . what are you doing???

Impa: Trying to stay alive, that's all!!

Link: Rauru!!! How could you???

Rauru: It was actually quite easy . . . she gave me money and I just . . .

Link: MALON!!!

Malon: I'm sorry Link . . . I'm not allowed to mess with the business of my beloved husband.

Link: O________O

Impa: Prepare . . . . to . . . . MARRY!!!

Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! !!!!

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Whew . . . . at least I could finally write another chapter of this story. But school keeps me pretty busy - I'm really sorry!!! Hope you enjoyed! ^_^