Fan Fiction ❯ Midnight Invasion ❯ One-Shot

Ganondorf: It was a dark and stormy night, the moon had disappeared, not even a single star could be seen on the firmament, the wind was howling like a Wolfo during its mating season and the water in Lake Hylia . . .

Zelda: COULD YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM????

[just then her underwear drawer opened and . . . . ]

Link: Surprise! Surprise!!

Zelda: GAH!! How did you get into my royal undie drawer???

Link: Uhm . . . .

David Copperfield: Magic!!

All: o_O

David Copperfield: Erm . . . . [disappears]

Zelda: I don't understand what's going on.

Ganondorf: I just came to buy some spam.

Zelda: SPAM???

Link: I don't like spam . . . .

[all of a sudden the curtains started to burn and . . . ]

Rauru: Food??? Mmmmmhhhhh!!!

Zelda: You . . . . you . . . . . burned my precious curtain!!!!

Rauru: Frankly Zelda, I don't give a damn.

Zelda: -____-

Rauru: Where's the food?? Where's the food?? Where's the food??????

Gigantic Potato: ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!

Rauru: O_O [gets eaten by the gigantic potato]

All: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ganondorf: Can I buy my spam now?

Zelda: Does this look like a grocery store to you????

[and then the chandelier started to move, because . . . ]

Nabooru: Well, he lost his contacts earlier today.

Zelda: YOU??

Ganondorf: I need to pee.

Zelda: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! IT'S MIDNIGHT AND HALF HYRULE IS ASSEMBLED IN MY ROOM!!

Ganondorf: I need to pee!

Nabooru: Well, I was searching for Ganondorf's contacts!!

Ganondorf: I really need to pee!

Link: And I was searching for Ganondorf!!

Ganondorf: Can I use your toilet?

Zelda: No.

Ganondorf: Please?

Zelda: NO!

Ganondorf: BIG please??

Zelda: BIG NO!!

All (except Zelda): Aaaaaaaaw!!

Zelda: -_-;;;

[and then the TV set exploded and . . . ]

Tingle: TINGLE TO THE RESCUE!!!!!

Zelda: AND WHO THE F&%/& ARE YOU???

Tingle: My friends call me Tingle. My enemies call me Tingle. You can call me . . . . uh . . . . Susan.

All: o__O

Tingle: I mean . . . Tingle!!!

Zelda: &/=()&)=)=&//%§%$&&%$(/³[{{³{²[[
79;²²[&%%(%%)!!!!!!!!!

Tingle: And how may I name the furious lady in front of me?

Link: Fairy princess . . . . with attitude.

Tingle: Eh?

Nabooru: That's Zel.

Tingle: Oooh. I see. And now . . . . LET'S ENTER THE BATHROOM!!!

All (except Zelda): YAY!!!

[they almost made it to the bathroom when suddenly . . . ]

Impa: Stop right there, or I'll smite thee with the Deku Stick of Justice!!!

Zelda: Impa!! My hero!!

[and then all of a sudden the bathroom door opened and . . . ]

SkullKid: MWEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

Zelda: -____-;;;;

Link: That vorpal bunny looks somewhat familiar . . . .

Nabooru: Yeah, because it's not a vorpal bunny. It's . . . .

Happy Masks Salesman: SKULL KID!!!

Nabooru: I hate people who dare to finish my lines. -_-;

Ganondorf: I would never do such an evil thing to you, my dearest, beloved Nabooru!

Nabooru: Grrrr . . . .

Ganondorf: Nabby, darling . . . [wants to hug her]

Nabooru: STEP BACK!!! [holds up . . . something]

Ganondorf: Eep!! What's that???

Nabooru: The sword of evil's bane!!

Impa: Now in a convenient 6-pack!!

Link: ::drool::

Ganondorf: -_^

Zelda: LINK!!! YOU'RE DROOLING ON MY DRESS!!!

Link: ::drool::

Zelda: Oh come on!!! I mean . . . what's your problem???

Link: It's a pain in the ass being 185 and looking like I'm 10!!!

Zelda: Erm . . . .

All (except Link): . . . . . . . .

SkullKid: MWEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!

Impa: And what do YOU want?

SkullKid: Pink, pink, pink, Pink, Pink, PINK!!!

Impa: Erm . . . . oooookay. [gives him a pink spoon]

SkullKid: ^_^ VICTORY!! VICTORY!!! YAHOOOO!!!! [disappears]

Zelda: ::twitches::

[AND THEN carpet disappeared just to reveal . . . ]

All (except HMS): SARIA????

HMS: Who?

Saria: Wanna hear a joke?

All: Okay.

Saria: What do you get, when you cross and insect with a rabbit?

All: What?

Saria: Bugs Bunny!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

All: -__-;;;;

Link: Saria, what . . . . Saria?

Saria: . . . . . . . . .

Link: Saria!!

Saria: Dun da dee da dun dun dee . . .

Link: SARIA!!!

Saria: La da la dee la dun dun dee . . . .

Link: [plays Saria's song] Hello Saria, can you hear me now? Good!

Saria: Uuuuh . . . hi Link!!

Link: Saria, what did I tell you about pixie sticks after midnight???

Saria: Uhm . . . don't?

Link: Yeah, and . . . .

Zelda: I FEEL IGNORED!!!!!

Ganondorf: I haven't said a thing since . . .

Zelda: Now listen to my important speech!!!

All: o__o

Zelda: Head out of Kokiri Forest and enter Hyrule Field. Before you reach Hyrule Field you will receive the Fairy Ocarina. Head to the Mid- North area of the field. Get there before sun down. Don't stop on the way. Rolling makes you go faster . . . .

All: ::yawn::

Link: I don't understand what's going on!!

Zelda: Head over the drawbridge and enter the Market. Talk to the Girl in the middle of the Market in the white dress. Then win the larger Bullet Bag at the target game. Head to the Castle and climb the vines on the right wall . . . .

All: ::snore:: ::grunt:: ::snore::

Zelda: Go past the gate but then purposely get caught. You'll be back at the enterance. Go up the vines again but first talk to Malon. Then sneak past all the gaurds until you get to the area where there are two guards with walls to both left and right. The left wall has a climbable area on it. This should help you get past the guards. Now jump in the moat. Get out at the corner and head left. You should see a fat man sleeping on . . . . .

Link: Wanna see my sword? It's SHINY!!

Zelda: -____-;

Impa: God, that's just totally pointless!!!

Nabooru: Yeah, even as pointless as Ganondorf's umpteen tries to take over Hyrule!!

Ganondorf: HEY!!! I . . .

HMS: Ganondorf only failed because he didn't follow the Evil Overlord list. Don't be a fool also. It's only 50 rupees for one copy!!

Ganondorf: Wow. Why didn't anybody tell me about this yet??

All: . . . . . . . . . . .

Cricket: ::chirp::

Link: I WANT A COPY!!!

All (except Link and Ganondorf): O_O

Ganondorf: Welcome to the dark site, my friend!!

Ganondorf+Link: MWAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!! [they disappear]

Zelda: Oh no!!! We gotta stop them!!!

Nabooru: Uhm . . . .

Impa: Erm . . . .

Saria: Hmmm . . . .

Nabooru,Impa+Saria: Nah

Zelda: o__o;;

Impa: Anybody up for breakfast?

Nabooru+Saria: YAY!!

[and so Impa, Nabooru and Saria walked away]

HMS: To the castle of Oz, to the castle of Oz, the castle of Oz I go!! [disappears]

- silence -

Cricket: ::chirp::

Zelda: They're gone!! They're all gone!! YAHOO!! FREEDOM!!! PEACE!! SANITY!! FINALLY!!! ^_____^

Tingle: KOOLOO LIMPAH!!!

Zelda: GAH!!! [has a heart attack and dies]

Tingle: Limpah?

Cricket: Oy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

THE END!

. . . . . . . really??

Navi: HEY!!! LOOK!!! LISTEN!!!

Zelda: AAAAAAAAAARGS!!!!! [kills Navi with the amazing Hammer of Time]

Navi: X-/

. . . . . . . . . . . .

yes, really!!!