Fan Fiction ❯ Midnight Love ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: xxxMidnightxxx 
One-shot. Starfire has always been able to love, but for Raven, it is impossible. A small bit on unreciprocated love. StarfirexRaven.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.02.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 372 | Status: Completed
One-shot. Starfire has always been able to love, but for Raven, it is impossible. A small bit on unreciprocated love. StarfirexRaven.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.02.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 372 | Status: Completed
Title: Midnight Love
Author: Midnight
Part: 1/1
Pairing: Raven/Starfire
Rating: R
Summary: A small bit on unreciprocated love.
She does not dream, so she does not feel.
When Starfire tells her that she loves her, she cannot return the feelings. She says, <i>"Where? Show me. Where is this Love? What is this Love? I can't see it, can't feel it. Can you show it to me? You say you have it, dress it up for me in pretty words, but I don't understand them. I can't take your beautiful words."</i>
Starfire cannot explain her love, so she does not try to. She just lays her head down into Raven's lap, who strokes her hair gently. She sometimes asks Raven questions, questions that never have answers. <i>"Who are you?"</i> she asks, when they are lying in bed, beneath the twisted sheets. <i>"I love you; why won't you let me love you?"</i> But Raven does not answer and Starfire does not expect her to.
Instead Raven leans in to kiss her, to break the silence between them. Starfire is amazed how she can love, yet not love someone so much. Raven's eyes are black, like midnight oil, and Starfire feels like she is drowning in them, drowning in their depths. Her fingers brush softly against Raven's skin, downwards, always downwards, to where it is more purple than black and more red than purple.
Her fingers snake across the cool skin, and Raven's breath catches in her throat. She only allows Starfire this much because she cannot give her love. She will never be able to. She pulls away from Starfire, not to disengage but to discourage. Her arms move of their own accord though and they draw Starfire to her body, to hold her. Her fingers run themselves through the red, red hair of her lover. She does not allow herself to feel anything but Starfire's hands on her, Starfire's one weapon that is able to penetrate all of her defenses. As it always has and which it always will. She lays back, to give her greater purchase.
She tries to love her; she wants to so badly that it hurts. She can't though and she hates herself for it.
Starfire loves her in the awkward way that the innocent do. She cannot imagine herself in a world without Raven, but she dreams in secret of a world where Raven could love her. She understands Raven, but only so much, only as much as Raven will let her. She accepts the fact, embraces it, that Raven is incapable of love. And yet it tears at her, kills her slowly, softly.
<i>"Why is it that you are unable to love?"</i> she asked her one night, when they were on the roof, under the vivid stars.
But Raven did not answer, and she never would.
That was their first kiss, incidentally. Starfire had stepped closer, filling the space between them. She had leaned in - perhaps it had been Raven who had turned her head so that their lips would touch. Starfire had burned with a fire then, a fire that caught whenever Raven's skin brushed against her own, a fire that made her blood run hot, that consumed her soul.
Raven never spoke of that day and often Starfire believed that she had imagined it all. It was only under the cover of night and sheets when she realized that it had not been a dream, that it was cruel and beautiful reality. She ran her hands over the flat plain of Raven's stomach and beyond, the girl moaning softly beneath her touch. It was only at these times Raven believed she was possible of love, only then when Starfire believed that the mysterious Raven loved her back.
She lay sprawled on top of her, one leg between Raven's two. Her mouth danced over Raven's pale skin, her neck and shoulders. Raven tilted her head back and her dark, dark hair fell about her face, about the pillow. Starfire felt as if the girl beneath her was not really there, that she was merely an illusion. Raven had never believed that she had a soul, that she could feel.
<i>"I'm not real,"</i> she whispers in the dark, into Starfire's ear. <i>"I don't have soul, I don't exist. How can I love you?"</i>
But Starfire did not want to hear this, so she did not listen, instead choosing to press her lips hard against Raven's. To her, Raven is not a woman, not a human. She is not a person. She is not sure what she is, but she knows that she loves her, in the only way that she can.
Seconds, minutes, hours, pass. A thousand moments, a thousand moments in which Starfire loves her.
She remembers the first time that she met Raven, the first day that the Titans had begun. She was nervous and jittery, afraid of a life on this planet, which so was so different from Tamaran, her home planet. It was then when she had spotted Raven, sulking over in one corner, leaning against a wall, her arms crossed. Her hood was pulled up; shadows encased her face, rendering it impossible for Starfire to make out her features.
The team had a round of shaky introductions; Raven said very little about herself, her low voice sweet and menacing all at once. Starfire found herself unable to tear her eyes away from this mysterious girl, this girl whom caused her stomach to do flip-flops, whom made Starfire's legs grow weak. She loved Raven since the moment she laid eyes on her, but she hadn't known it then, of course, how could she have? Starfire was unaccustomed to such powerful feelings and she did not know what to think or what to believe.
Raven did not like people. <i>"I don't let anyone in,"</i> she said solemnly, one afternoon when Starfire had asked her casually why she was not very open. <i>"If I let people in,"</i> Raven had answered, <i>"Then there's the opportunity for them to get close to me, they might be hurt. If I always push people away, I never have to worry about hurting anyone."</i>
Starfire knew she loved Raven then, and she longed to cry out, <i>"What if I said I loved you? That I hardly know you, but I know that you are all I wll ever need. That even though you want to be alone, I could offer you love and understanding. I would love you always."</i>
But of course she does not speak, doesn't try to explain how she feels to this Raven, this illusion. She just waits and watches and hopes, prays that someday they might be together. She doesn't expect Raven to love her, but she wants to be able to love Raven. It is only later, much later, on that starry rooftop where she confesses her love for her.
Raven says nothing, but kisses Starfire again, and to Starfire, it feels as if her whole life has come down to this one point, this one moment.
And although she tries to understand Raven, she cannot, so she stops trying to. She believes in her heart that Raven does love her, but she is too afraid to ask, scared that this may cause Raven to push her away. So when Starfire whispers into the night soft 'I love you's, she does not expect for Raven to reply. She does not like to admit it, but she knows that she never expected Raven to love her.
Raven offers up herself, her body, to Starfire, as a sort of solemn exchange for the love she can never hope to return. Starfire accepts the compromise, it gives her a rush; for once Raven is the one who needs her and not the other way around. It is only at these moments when Raven whispers her name, moans it with a passion that it makes Starfire shiver, and pull the blankets up around them.
It is only later when Raven says softly, stroking her hair, <i>"If it were possible for me to love you, I would love you for forever."</i>
Starfire does not need to hear it, she never has. She just kisses her and holds her close.
And for Starfire, it is enough.
Author: Midnight
Part: 1/1
Pairing: Raven/Starfire
Rating: R
Summary: A small bit on unreciprocated love.
She does not dream, so she does not feel.
When Starfire tells her that she loves her, she cannot return the feelings. She says, <i>"Where? Show me. Where is this Love? What is this Love? I can't see it, can't feel it. Can you show it to me? You say you have it, dress it up for me in pretty words, but I don't understand them. I can't take your beautiful words."</i>
Starfire cannot explain her love, so she does not try to. She just lays her head down into Raven's lap, who strokes her hair gently. She sometimes asks Raven questions, questions that never have answers. <i>"Who are you?"</i> she asks, when they are lying in bed, beneath the twisted sheets. <i>"I love you; why won't you let me love you?"</i> But Raven does not answer and Starfire does not expect her to.
Instead Raven leans in to kiss her, to break the silence between them. Starfire is amazed how she can love, yet not love someone so much. Raven's eyes are black, like midnight oil, and Starfire feels like she is drowning in them, drowning in their depths. Her fingers brush softly against Raven's skin, downwards, always downwards, to where it is more purple than black and more red than purple.
Her fingers snake across the cool skin, and Raven's breath catches in her throat. She only allows Starfire this much because she cannot give her love. She will never be able to. She pulls away from Starfire, not to disengage but to discourage. Her arms move of their own accord though and they draw Starfire to her body, to hold her. Her fingers run themselves through the red, red hair of her lover. She does not allow herself to feel anything but Starfire's hands on her, Starfire's one weapon that is able to penetrate all of her defenses. As it always has and which it always will. She lays back, to give her greater purchase.
She tries to love her; she wants to so badly that it hurts. She can't though and she hates herself for it.
Starfire loves her in the awkward way that the innocent do. She cannot imagine herself in a world without Raven, but she dreams in secret of a world where Raven could love her. She understands Raven, but only so much, only as much as Raven will let her. She accepts the fact, embraces it, that Raven is incapable of love. And yet it tears at her, kills her slowly, softly.
<i>"Why is it that you are unable to love?"</i> she asked her one night, when they were on the roof, under the vivid stars.
But Raven did not answer, and she never would.
That was their first kiss, incidentally. Starfire had stepped closer, filling the space between them. She had leaned in - perhaps it had been Raven who had turned her head so that their lips would touch. Starfire had burned with a fire then, a fire that caught whenever Raven's skin brushed against her own, a fire that made her blood run hot, that consumed her soul.
Raven never spoke of that day and often Starfire believed that she had imagined it all. It was only under the cover of night and sheets when she realized that it had not been a dream, that it was cruel and beautiful reality. She ran her hands over the flat plain of Raven's stomach and beyond, the girl moaning softly beneath her touch. It was only at these times Raven believed she was possible of love, only then when Starfire believed that the mysterious Raven loved her back.
She lay sprawled on top of her, one leg between Raven's two. Her mouth danced over Raven's pale skin, her neck and shoulders. Raven tilted her head back and her dark, dark hair fell about her face, about the pillow. Starfire felt as if the girl beneath her was not really there, that she was merely an illusion. Raven had never believed that she had a soul, that she could feel.
<i>"I'm not real,"</i> she whispers in the dark, into Starfire's ear. <i>"I don't have soul, I don't exist. How can I love you?"</i>
But Starfire did not want to hear this, so she did not listen, instead choosing to press her lips hard against Raven's. To her, Raven is not a woman, not a human. She is not a person. She is not sure what she is, but she knows that she loves her, in the only way that she can.
Seconds, minutes, hours, pass. A thousand moments, a thousand moments in which Starfire loves her.
She remembers the first time that she met Raven, the first day that the Titans had begun. She was nervous and jittery, afraid of a life on this planet, which so was so different from Tamaran, her home planet. It was then when she had spotted Raven, sulking over in one corner, leaning against a wall, her arms crossed. Her hood was pulled up; shadows encased her face, rendering it impossible for Starfire to make out her features.
The team had a round of shaky introductions; Raven said very little about herself, her low voice sweet and menacing all at once. Starfire found herself unable to tear her eyes away from this mysterious girl, this girl whom caused her stomach to do flip-flops, whom made Starfire's legs grow weak. She loved Raven since the moment she laid eyes on her, but she hadn't known it then, of course, how could she have? Starfire was unaccustomed to such powerful feelings and she did not know what to think or what to believe.
Raven did not like people. <i>"I don't let anyone in,"</i> she said solemnly, one afternoon when Starfire had asked her casually why she was not very open. <i>"If I let people in,"</i> Raven had answered, <i>"Then there's the opportunity for them to get close to me, they might be hurt. If I always push people away, I never have to worry about hurting anyone."</i>
Starfire knew she loved Raven then, and she longed to cry out, <i>"What if I said I loved you? That I hardly know you, but I know that you are all I wll ever need. That even though you want to be alone, I could offer you love and understanding. I would love you always."</i>
But of course she does not speak, doesn't try to explain how she feels to this Raven, this illusion. She just waits and watches and hopes, prays that someday they might be together. She doesn't expect Raven to love her, but she wants to be able to love Raven. It is only later, much later, on that starry rooftop where she confesses her love for her.
Raven says nothing, but kisses Starfire again, and to Starfire, it feels as if her whole life has come down to this one point, this one moment.
And although she tries to understand Raven, she cannot, so she stops trying to. She believes in her heart that Raven does love her, but she is too afraid to ask, scared that this may cause Raven to push her away. So when Starfire whispers into the night soft 'I love you's, she does not expect for Raven to reply. She does not like to admit it, but she knows that she never expected Raven to love her.
Raven offers up herself, her body, to Starfire, as a sort of solemn exchange for the love she can never hope to return. Starfire accepts the compromise, it gives her a rush; for once Raven is the one who needs her and not the other way around. It is only at these moments when Raven whispers her name, moans it with a passion that it makes Starfire shiver, and pull the blankets up around them.
It is only later when Raven says softly, stroking her hair, <i>"If it were possible for me to love you, I would love you for forever."</i>
Starfire does not need to hear it, she never has. She just kisses her and holds her close.
And for Starfire, it is enough.