Fan Fiction ❯ Music In The Dark ❯ Spinning ( Chapter 2 )

Music in the Dark

Chaotic Orchid Angel

Rated: R

Disclaimer: I don't own IZ nor do I wish to, Jhonen can keep his stupid money!

Special thank you to Ruri Unstitched for being my new beta. Yea!! She's cool!

Chapter Two

There was a heavy weight smothering her stomach, disturbing her sleep. She attempted to shrug it off, thinking it was a stuffed animal or her sheets wound tight around her body. But when it tightened against her, she was jolted to full consciousness.

'Oh... god.'

* * * *

The searing heat of the water helped to soothe away her aches and pains. She stood still in the rush, allowing the water to cleanse her body while she contemplated her actions from the previous night.

'I can't believe I… we did that! What the hell came over me?" she internally interrogated herself.

There was no explanation. She tried to come up with a logical reason for their actions. There had been no previous attraction between the two of them, not even a hint of one; they were siblings for God sakes! The closest they had ever come to showing even the slightest hint of affection for each other was when she kicked his ass, or when she told him that the sound of his voice made her sick. No, though she didn't often show it, she did care for him. He was her older brother, after all. But one night spent together without insults and they were instant 'lovers'? Something didn't add up.

She wiped the blood stains from her thighs, wincing in pain. God, it hurt! She felt warm tears sting her eyes as the weight of her actions finally came to mind. She gave her virginity to her brother? She wasn't the type of girl who'd guarded it under lock and key, but she was planning to wait for someone she cared enough about to lose it with. But instead, she had let her hormones and the atmosphere get to her and she'd thrown it all away. She stood in the water, quickly turning cold, and cried.

* * * *

Dib awoke reluctantly in an empty bed. He cursed as he took a moment to survey his surroundings with weary eyes. He was in his sister's bed, naked, and she wasn't there. He took the sign of her disappearance as a good one, quickly dressed and hurried back to his own room. Once the door shut, he slid to the floor, raising his hands to his face. He was in deep shit. What the hell was the matter with him? Becoming... aroused by your sister was bad enough, but sleeping with her?! That was punishable by death. A very painful death. If anyone found out…He let that thought trail away right there. He knew what would happen if anybody were to find out. It would be even bigger than if he exposed Zim as an alien! He had to talk to her and end this…this thing.

It had only been one night, but it was bad enough. Just the thought of it gave him a horrible headache. He wasn't sure what to classify last night as. It was… It was something. It was wonderful and impossibly wrong and… and sex. He could swear on the Bible that he had never thought of Gaz in that particular way before. But last night, it had been as if they had become two very different people. He had always loved his sister, but last night, he had really loved her, in the proper way a man and a woman should love each other, but certainly not as brother and sister.

He threw his head back forcefully and rammed it, hard, against the door. Perhaps, if he hit it hard enough, he would cause terminal brain damage and die, thus ending all of his problems. But instead, all it did was make his headache even worse.

He sighed. A shower would help clear his head somewhat, he supposed. It would also rid his body of her distinct scent, which was slowly driving him mad.

* * * *

She finally left the shower, after bitterly crying out all of her woes and berating herself for being so weak. As she ran a comb through her violet hair, she took careful notice of her reflection. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired, and her skin was much paler than normal. She rummaged through the medicine cabinet for her eyedrops. Perhaps, if she appeared normal then she could feel normal inside. She blinked once the drops were in and took a second look. Much better. She adjusted her towel and opened the bathroom door, intending to walk quickly and quietly back to her room, yet instead walking headlong into Dib.

She couldn't speak. Her mouth was open yet nothing seemed to come out. Following her instincts, which instantly took control of her, she ran past him, into her bedroom and slammed the door tight shut. Dib watched her go and was tempted to follow her. He decided finally to let her be and stepped inside the bathroom to take his shower.

* * * *

Inside her room, Gaz attempted to calm herself. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. This was ridiculous! She lived with him; she couldn't avoid him forever. They had to talk about this. She collapsed on her bed and recoiled in horror when she smelled him on her sheets. In a fit of blind rage, she tore them from her bed and threw them in a corner. She fell to the floor and began to cry again. She desperately wished that night had never happened. She could have prevented it. She wished she hadn't returned his kiss and, most importantly, she wished that she could hate him. But it was impossible. Deep down she knew the sickening truth. She wouldn't have allowed last night to occur if she hadn't wanted it to happen. She saw that somewhere, deep down, she was merely a sick little girl in love with her brother. Last night had simply been the catalyst for her feelings to fully emerge from their dark hiding. Her tears soon dissipated and a strange, awkward sense of peace fell upon her. She felt better now that she had come to terms with it. She loved him. She didn't care if it had happened overnight, she loved him and there was nothing she could do to change it.

Heaving a great sigh of relief and moral defeat from her chest, she stood and slowly dressed in her favorite jumper and skull necklace. She gathered her sheets and proceeded to live her life normally. As normally as she could muster.

* * * *

When Dib finished his shower, he dressed quickly and went back to Gaz's room, only to find that she wasn't there. He climbed downstairs and found her in the kitchen, talking with their father.

"We had a great time, Dad. I was lucky, no one noticed Dib, but he actually turned out to be a pretty good dancer. Too bad he can't act that cool all the time, instead of being the freak he usually is."

Dib's brow furrowed at the remark. He wasn't a freak! Well, maybe... maybe now that could be debated.

He stepped into the kitchen, stopping at the refrigerator for his routine glass of juice. If she could play normal, then so could he.

"Morning Dad, Gaz. Sleep well?" He directed his question particularly at his sister, unnaturally pleased when he witnessed a dark look cross her face.

"Why do you care?" she hissed. Love or not, she was going to kill him.

"Fine, son," his father replied, dismissing Gaz's bitter comment. "Gaz told me that you two had fun last night."

He spluttered into his orange juice, eyes grown wide. He witnessed Gaz give him a sadistic smile from the corner of her lips and he relaxed, smirking into his glass. Two could play at that game.

"Yeah," he said, wiping the juice from his face, "turns out that Gaz is quite the party animal. She can be quite the charmer, though, when she drops the evil act."

"Who says it's an act, Dib?" she drawled out his name long and low, much like she had done the night before.

So much for acting normal.

And with that, they begun one of their infamous stare-downs as their father obliviously finished his breakfast. Neither sibling noticed outstandingly when he left the room. They continued for several minutes until Gaz, bored, stood and, giving Dib one last withering stare, left the room. Dib followed her into the living room, where she sat playing her Gameslave 2. He sat beside her on the sofa and waited expectantly.

"Well..?" he began.

She didn't look up from her game. "Well what?" she replied, voice riddled with annoyance.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" he asked.

She didn't miss a beat. "I have nothing to say."

Dib stared at her as if she had grown a second head. "Nothing to say?! Gaz! We had," he faltered, but finally found the courage to continue, "sex last night..." His facial features furrowed.

"And that should mean what to me?" she replied coolly, still playing.

"Are you serious?" he said, his voice full with disbelievement.

She stopped playing and faced him. "I really don't want to talk about this right now, Dib," she muttered darkly, but she realized quickly that he wasn't going to be brushed off as easily as she would have liked.

"This is serious Gaz. What if somebody finds out? Oh God! What if you're pregnant?!"

She laughed in a humorless tone. "No one will find out, Dib, because you aren't going to say a word to anyone. As for me being pregnant, it's impossible," she muttered, "I've been on the pill for four years running and I've never skipped a day."

He looked at her oddly. "You're on the Pill?"

"My doctor put me on it for my period. It's too heavy, causes me too much pain. I'd either throw up or pass out on the first day."

Well, that settled that complication. But she still hadn't said a word in response to what happened between them.

"Gaz, I need to know what happened last night," he said softly.

She rolled her eyes in a painful gesture. "Contrary to popular belief, Dib, you're a smart boy. You said it yourself, we had sex. What more is there to know?"

He was starting to become frustrated. "Can you drop the bitch act for one minute and talk to me?! "

She gave him a disgusted look and threw her Gameslave on the table. "What is there to say?" and with that she turned and stalked back to her room, slamming the door heavily when she reached it.

"Shit Gaz, you think this is easy for me?" he muttered inwardly. He stood up and, left with nothing else to say or do, left the house. He needed some fresh air, a change of atmosphere, anything to help clear his mind. Yet unbeknownst to him, upstairs in her room, Gaz was mourning, berating herself for being such a coward.

* * * *

Hours and a long, thoughtful walk later, Dib found himself carefully watching the stars come out into the night sky. He was at the park, sitting on his favorite hill, detached from the rest of the playground. His mind was on one thing. Gaz. He'd attempted to rationalize what he had done the night before, but he couldn't. He knew that in the very depths of his mind, he had wanted it all along. He could have stopped at any moment and yet he'd chosen not to, no matter what he tried to tell himself. There was no use quibbling over it now, it was over and done with and there was no changing it. He resigned himself to that fact and decided to duly accept it. If she was prepared to forget about it and pretend that it had never happened, then so could he. It was probably better in the long run.

He stood slowly and stretched. It was getting rather late. He began to make his way home, hoping that she would find a way to forgive him for this mess.

* * * *

Gaz lay on her bed, engrossed in her favorite book, 'The Virgin Suicides', by Jeffrey Euginedes. The sounds of Zero 7 filled the air, her favorite song, 'Spinning', playing. She heard a faint knock at the door and unwillingly called for whomever it was on the other side to come in. She wasn't surprised when she saw Dib enter.

He walked tentatively to her bed. "May I sit down?" he asked. She set her down her book carefully and nodded.

"I'm sorry if I upset you earlier," he apologized. "I was a bit confused about this whole thing and I took it out on you."

"No you didn't," she interrupted abruptly, "you were only trying to do the logical thing. I was the one who took it all out of hand," she lowered her gaze. "Sorry for saying what I said. I didn't mean it. You're right, we do need to talk."

"Last night was a mistake," he began, sighing. "It was a wonderful mistake, but it was still a mistake. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I took advantage of you."

Gaz looked at him with large, disbelieving eyes. "You didn't take advantage of me! I took part in this as much as you did. You can't blame yourself. Yes, it was a mistake and it shouldn't happen again, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it."

This time Dib looked at her in disbelief. "Really?"

She nodded her head, smiling faintly. "It was wonderful. For the first time in my life I felt what true love might really be like. It may have been wrong, but now that I think about it, I'm glad it happened, and I wouldn't take it back if I could."

"Gaz, you don't know what you're saying..." he whispered, defeated.

"Yes, I'm afraid I do. I love you."

He sat in shock. His sister had just confessed that she was in love with him. He had no idea how to reply. He loved her as well, but he was frightened of where this would take them. This was a dark territory, forbidden and very taboo.

"Well, what do we do now?" he asked, suddenly feeling incredibly uneasy

"Do you love me?" she asked, her voice smooth and not missing a beat.

"More than anything," he replied instantly, realizing that it was incredibly true.

"Then we go on with our lives, just like we do everyday. Nothing changes," she stated simply, shrugging.

"But what about us?"

"What happens between us stays behind closed doors." She purred subtly. He reached out for her.

"Suppose someone finds out?"

She settled herself in his warm embrace. "No one will find out." She assured him.

"Just suppose..."

"Stop worrying and be quiet." With those words said, she leaned up to kiss him.

They didn't leave her room for the rest of the night.

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