Warning:This is crazy, insane, off the wall, loopy, zany, and just plain nuts. You have been warned.The first day of camp, we have orientation, for which they corral us all into the main hall and proceed to welcome us, go over the schedule, and set the ground rules. Loads of fun. Better yet, they separate the boys from the girls. So we have between 10 and 20 boys on one side, and nearly 200 girls on the other. Fortunately, I got a seat on the side closest to the boys and a great view of him. O~h, ye~ah! Since this was the fifth time I'd heard the whole spiel they shove down our throats the first day, I didn't think they'd mind to much if I wasn't paying complete attention to it this year. I was wrong. The owner, who gives the speech only to never be seen again till the end of camp, spotted me giving my attention elsewhere. I don't think he was too happy about that, for he stopped mid-sentence and cleared his throat while staring at me. It got everyone's attention, but mine. It's when everyone, including him, turned their attention to me, that I noticed he stopped. Uh-oh! I turned to look at the owner of this lovely camp and smiled sheepishly.

"Young lady, will you be so kind as to come up." he said, none to kindly. This guy really needs a name, ne? How 'bout Romafeller? I stood up and shyly walked up onto the stage, but mentally I was wearing a huge Cheshire cat grin. This was going to be fun! I walked up to the podium and stood so that I was facing Romafeller and the crowd.

"Young lady, what is your name?" he asked. I'm guessing you'd all like to know the answer to that, ne? I decided to play along.

"Patty, but I think you'd have learned it by now, since I've only been coming here five years." I replied in my most innocent voice. This caused a ripple a laughter from the crowd, which was silenced with one look from Romafeller. I played innocent.

"Do you mind telling us what you find so fascinating on the boys side of the room as to keep you from paying attention to my speech?" His anger was evident in his voice and mannerisms. So I answered honestly.

"Why, boys of course!" I grinned widely and gave him a wink. This time, the crowd could not be silenced with a mere look. Oh, how Romafeller was mad! His face was red and steam was practically pouring from his ears!

"Besides, I've heard this four times already! I think I've got it covered!" I told him before walking triumphantly off the stage and back to my seat.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!!" Romafeller bellowed at the top of his lungs. That quieted everyone down, though a few chuckles where heard now and then, for about five minutes after. Romafeller continued his speech with much less enthusiasm. I spent the rest of that time grinning like the cat who caught the canary and winking at Romafeller every time he started to get his bark back. That is the most fun I have ever had at orientation!

Naturally, I didn't get away with my fun. Right after orientation is free period until dinner, and after that there are some planned activities in which you can participate in, and then lights out at midnight. I never made it to free period. One of the counselors got me right after the speech and hauled me off to Romafeller's office.

The decor was not what I was expecting. Lush maroon carpeting, large, cherry-wood desk, executive-style, black-leather, desk chair, two overstuffed chairs in front of his desk, and an overstuffed sofa under the window in dark rich colors. He even had a kitchenette in one corner. The air-conditioning was superb! Ni~ice! I thought as I sat down in one of the chairs and perused the wall hangings. The usual stuff, a few photos, plaques, certificates, degrees, paddle, whip, riding crop . . . Wait a minute . . . This is when Romafeller decides to join me. The kinky bastard! Of course, I could not hide the grin as I thought this. Maybe if I had, I would have left sooner.

"I fail to see any reason for you to be smiling." I stopped smiling, who am I to argue? He sat in his chair, frowning, and tented his fingers in front of him, arms resting on his desk.

"Your not going to spank me, are ya?" I barely managed to say with a straight face. He gives me this strange look.

"No . . ."

"Because I prefer the riding crop." I interrupted him, straight faced, but barely. He stared at me, as if having trouble comprehending what I just said. I leaned forward slowly and said softly "Is there a problem?" I sat back in my chair slowly.

"Cause if there is, we could always go with the paddle, if that's what you *really* want." I said, rather seductively. I wish I had had a pen or pencil or *something* to play with suggestively. Maybe if I had unnerved him enough, I would've had to endure a lot less. But then, for a while, he actually looked like was seriously considering it. Ugh! Makes me shudder just thinking about it! Instead, I smiled and giggled.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Romy! I'm just playing with ya!" I just *had* to say.

"Now see here . . . !" I zoned out after those words, knowing what was coming next. After enduring four hours of his inane lecturing, he *finally* let me go. I rushed over to the cafeteria, hoping against hope that they'd still have some food left. No such luck. Hell, they were almost finished washing the dishes, I was so late. I had to settle for a snickers from the vending machine. Damnit, they're stale! I nearly broke a tooth!

After spending the afternoon with Romafeller, I needed some time alone. I headed up to my room. The layout of the rooms is in kind of an 'L' shape, and my room was just around the elbow from the stairs. I was just about to turn around this corner when I heard, of all people, Butch, banging on someone's door. I stopped at the corner and peeked around to see what was going on. What I say was a mad bull of a man pounding the living daylights out a door a few feet from my own.

"DAMNIT, I SAID OPEN UP! I CAN GET THE KEY AND GET IN JUST AS EASILY, SO JUST SAVE US BOTH THE TROUBLE AND OPEN THE FREAKIN' DOOR!" Butch bellowed. I'm guessing that there isn't anyone else up here but the three of us, and he only knows of two. Otherwise, he wouldn't be yelling so freakin' loud. As far as I can tell, no one was in the room, but there had to be, for Butch to be so anxious to get in. Oh, no! Not him! Damnit!

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING THE KEY AND I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! YOU BETTER BE HERE WHEN I GET BACK, YOU HERE ME?" And with that said, butch headed for the stairs at the *other* end of the hall. Handy, ne? As soon as the door to the stairwell was shut, I raced to the door that was so mercilessly pounded on before, and picked the lock. I then opened the door slowly and peeked inside. There before me, laying on his bed, was *him*, hands behind his head, eyes closed, and legs crossed at his ankles. I couldn't help myself. I whistled.

"Hmm?" He opened his right eye, then his left, as he gave me the strangest look. "How did you get in?"

"Picked the lock, now come on!" I motioned for him to get up and come with me.

"Excuse me?" He said even as he was getting up.

"He'll be back any second with the key, now come on! We gotta get out of here!" I grabbed his hand as he picked up his jacket and hauled us out of there and down the hall. We raced down the stairs at breakneck speed, and when we were finally outside, we didn't stop, but headed towards a large group. Even if Butch was on our tail, he wouldn't confront us in front of a lot of people. When we reached the group, the counselor, Catherine, turned to us.

"You two just barely made it! We were about to leave! Alright, people! Everyone got their partner?" I raised our still joined hands into the air, as others did with their partners.

"I got mine!" I exclaimed proudly, causing him to blush slightly in the waning sunlight, and the others to laugh.

"Alright, people, let's head out!" Catherine said, leading us into the wooded area surrounding the camp. A hike at night? That's . . . different.

"By the way, my name's Patty, as if the whole camp doesn't know by now! I didn't catch your name, though." *hinthinthint*

"Darien. Nice to meet you, and thanks. For helping me back there. I really appreciate it."

"I had to help." I then proceeded to tell him *why*, as we blindly followed our fearless counselor deeper into the woods, as the sunlight dissipated into the atmosphere.